VI.

The days that followed were spent in a careful silence with only soft remarks to offer here and there. Chanyeol’s wide eyes would examine the younger through skewed glasses and Kyungsoo would pretend not to take notice. He was still hurting and in the distort he would fumble for slices of normalcy. Pushing himself he tried smiling only to be met by the wildest of grins along with warm hand firmly his spine; sending the conflicting emotions through the roof to inevitably crash down to the ground. Chanyeol soon dared to make him speak of the heaviness that still remained. Kyungsoo had little to tell but due to guilt and the soft scratching in his heart when meeting the older’s gaze he tried to be as honest as possible. 

Chanyeol made him eat more, talk more and finally smile and laugh more. Witty remarks on TV news, inappropriately explosive reactions and obliviously walking into the couch only to sink down to the floor whining a bit too loud made the younger’s smile unknowingly grow wider. Chanyeol was patient and stubborn and when experiencing the small changes in Kyungsoo his devotion and determination only evolved.

Despite somewhat promising himself to let his one-sided love go he found himself unable to truly do so; after all, love was not something he could control and was simply left to strangle the longing sighs when the younger finally would laugh and joke around along with him. It seemed as if the more Chanyeol tried to give Kyungsoo up; the stronger the urge and coveting became. There was no way to not be awestruck by the glimmers in Kyungsoo’s so often tired eyes. He was still forever beautiful; no matter what.

”Let go!” Kyungsoo demanded for the third time as he tried squirming his compact frame caught in Chanyeol’s embrace. The older’s laugh boomed loudly against the crown of his head before repeating the same answer as before.

”Not until you smile!”

He had daringly promised to pepper the younger with love each moments he could sense him sinking into deeper and darker thoughts; something Chanyeol at times sure overused due to his still tresspassing heart. Kyungsoo had snorted yet felt a wave of warmth sweep over him. He too had perhaps ushered the older into keeping his promises with a simple yet well-placed silence. Sometimes he didn’t even feel guilty about it.

”Let go! I’m going to bed!” Kyungsoo tried only to feel Chanyeol’s grip shift slightly; obliviously allowing him to escape in a triumph laugh. Sprinting the few steps through their cramped apartment he leaped onto his bed with a loud thump and just as expected Chanyeol followed closely behind with an even louder laughter.

By the time Chanyeol caught up Kyungsoo was already well hidden under his thick duvet. Without hesitation the lanky teen crawled upon the small bump still displaying his annoyingly amused and glowing smile.

”Kyungsoo-yah!” He hummed straddling the younger who was trying to stop smiles from appearing.

”Kyungsoo-yah!” Chanyeol repeated as he ripped the fabrics away from the unknowing Kyungsoo who’s large surprised eyes met him. ”There you are!”

”Get off, you are heavy!” Kyungsoo began squirming again frowning as deep as he possibly could.

”No, I demand at least one more smile otherwise I can’t fall asleep!” 

Shifting closer to the younger both felt heat roam through their bodies; something neither allowed themselves to acknowledge and even less enjoy. Chanyeol’s hot breath danced across Kyungsoo’s reddening face.

”Then don’t sleep, what has that has got to do with me!?”

Chanyeol’s hands had began feeling along the smaller’s sides and despite being shield by the bedding an alarm set of in the younger’s head. 

”Then you have to keep me up, Kyungsoo-yah!”

The older chuckled before going full on with attacking the somewhat defenseless younger with tickles. Kyungsoo’s screams and laughter mingled with Chanyeol’s as he kept kneading poor Kyungsoo until the younger had kicked himself breathless.

Allowing him to regain a somewhat normal breathing pattern Chanyeol’s warm smile dazzled Kyungsoo as he tried his absolute hardest to hate him; Chanyeol was heavy, noisy and never took no for an answer. Yet, somehow the weight and warmth of his body, the baritone chuckles and inexhaustible will to make him feel better softened the younger’s heart more than ever. 

”You are the worst!” Kyungsoo breathed trying to push the older’s wide hands away.

”Thank you, that means a lot.” The older cooed and grasped his bitten fingers instead and braided them with his. Kyungsoo frowned as he became hyperaware of their intimate pose.

”What — are you doing?” He asked in a small voice trying to not tighten the grip. Heat spread across his cheeks as met the older’s suddenly awestruck gaze. He blinked multiple times before chuckling hesitantly; his eyes forever scanning the younger’s expression.

”I don’t know?” He relaxed and ounce and filled his lungs with a somewhat shaky breath. ”Do you hate it?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened before evading downwards; he could feel hand-sweat breaking through and in his self consciousness his mind began reeling. Why was Chanyeol doing all of this?

”No — it’s just that we’re guys so it’s weird, don’t you think?”

His voice was still low; as if speaking up would blow his cover. He hastily looked up at Chanyeol who’s expression faltered for a split second; smiling ever so brightly yet again he waved their hands around before letting out a few laughs.

”It’s nothing serious, relax!”

He jiggled a bit but with a visible discomfort he soon removed himself off Kyungsoo who’s large eyes took notice of every faint feature of his face. Dragging a hand through his thick and messy fringe Chanyeol let out a sigh; offering yet another smile he too decided it was time for bed.

Mere minutes later they were both heavily indulged in regret and uncertainty. Chanyeol wondered if he had taken it too far and Kyungsoo regretted dropping such questions and thereby seemingly making the older go into thinking in such forbidden terms on his unmindful demand. He could only blame himself as the words "nothing serious" rang in his ears; making his unease turn and twist mercilessly. Of course there couldn’t be anything other than that.

Despite the fear of restrained moods Chanyeol didn’t seem to quite care enough about the consequences as his hands seemed to move on their own within Kyungsoo’s orbiting. A pat there, an there; it was all in the oblivious luscious softness of longing that neither managed to fully disperse despite the persistent tries. Kyungsoo did managed to both calm down and reset as time slowly went on; with the older’s guiding he found joy in the simple things again. 

Watching the first snowfall through the dirty buss window had him sending a quick message to Chanyeol filled with that naive playfulness the latter had missed so dreadfully. They had went for a walk that evening; enjoying how the dead and dull filled with dancing bits of crystal. Chanyeol had lent him his scarf and with his peony pink nose buried in the soft stitches the younger found himself shivering, but not from the cold. Stealing glances of the tall young man beside Kyungsoo failed to hinder the building longing escape through faint exhales; his warm breath turning white in the cold air before vaporizing into nothingness.