<3 

Luhan was just standing and watching Yixing’s receding car which turning into a narrow street disappeared from his sight. He sighed. He was happy that at least he wasn’t with them because maybe he could stay away from this whole thing, but he was worried too because he didn’t know what would happen to his friend. The car with the holes was recognisable and although the doctor left to hide it somewhere and go to his parents for shelter, Luhan felt uneasy. Who knows when those guys will appear and who knows what will happen then. His chest started to tighten and he shut his eyes down for a moment. There won’t be any problem. Everything will be fine.

“Then tomorrow I will visit you again. And we will go to the clinic because you need a more thorough examination.” Luhan slowly nodded. Yes. Tomorrow they have to go to the hospital because although there aren’t any serious external injuries, there can be inner ones. It was totally understandable. But he was afraid that those people will be waiting for them there. That the bad guys know that they have to go to hospital so they will pounce at them. But despite it, they had to go there because there were two possibilities: these men will murder them or a possible internal bleeding. So it was all the same. Something will kill them if everything goes like this.

“Be careful.” He flashed a tiny smile at Yixing, then quickly reached out for the handle of the door. His hands were shaking. The death crawled into his brain as a poison which never seems to go away, infecting all of his thoughts and he didn’t want anything else just get out to the free air. To breathe again. To get some fresh oxygen into his lungs because at that moment he felt like throwing up.

“You too with this kid. It’s still possible that he is dangerous.” Yixing shouted after him but he barely could hear it. He jumped out of the car slamming the door behind his back, and turning away from the vehicle he closed his eyes and let some lonely tears roll down his cheeks. He had to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Slowly. Breathe in, then blow out. He couldn’t let the panic appear again. He had to confirm Yixing that everything was fine because then he can go away and he won’t be in danger. Yes, he had to do it because of it.

“You are so mean again.” Meanwhile Sehun was just shaking his head again at Yixing’s words still sitting in the car. He thought that maybe today he didn’t have to listen to this. Why would he be dangerous? He didn’t even know what he had to do in his life. Then how could he be dangerous to Luhan?

“Still. I’m still so mean.” The doctor grinned and at that moment Sehun understood that it was just tease. Or sure, he was still worried for his friend but this ribbing was just to annoy Sehun. And his next sentence totally convinced him. “By the way… Look after Luhan. Here’s my number. If something is wrong, call me.” With that he gave him his business card. Sehun just took a quick glance at it, then putting it into his pocket he nodded.

“Sure. You can leave it to me.”

And again. Luhan was just standing staring into the distance almost not reacting to his surroundings. He was tired. He wanted to go home. To home home. To China.

“Are you okay?” Sehun’s worried glance didn’t leave his fragile figure even for a moment. And due to it he felt uneasy. He knew that he just wanted to protect him but it just simply annoyed him. He should be worried. He is the older one, he remembers his past, so he should be in a better state. He should ask this and not the other way round.

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded absently, purposely avoiding the eye contact. He wasn’t well at all. The tightening feeling in his chest didn’t loosen and the honest glance, which has always filled him with warmth, didn’t help either. It was disturbing that a pair of eyes was watching his every move and he felt like shouting at Sehun to stop it. But he didn’t do it. He restrained himself because he knew that the boy wasn’t doing it to annoy him.

“Let’s go in.” He murmured and with that he turned around and walked towards the building towering in front of them. Too hastily. Too inadvertently because with this movement he left a really important detail. Or to be exact he left a dark figure hiding on the corner.

Sehun was just standing in his place for a moment and glared after him. It was visible that Luhan wasn’t totally okay but the situation wasn’t so serious, so he let it be. He had time to care about it later, but now they had to call Luhan’s parents to tell them their son was still alive. Because by that time it was sure that they had been worried to death or maybe they were already preparing the funeral. At this thought he shivered. He was wondering how his parents could be. Have they already heard the news about his death or were they still waiting for their son to come home? Or were they waiting for him? Or was there anybody who was waiting for him?

Sehun was almost dying inside. He didn’t have any memories, so he didn’t have a family. Only just some tiny memories told him that once there had been somebody who cared about him but he didn’t have any idea if there was anybody who was still counting on him. Tears welled up in his eyes. He felt empty. Empty and meaningless. Yixing was right. He was nothing without memories, he was just a silly little boy who blindly followed a stranger. He felt that it was a huge mistake but besides, something attracted him to Luhan. At that moment when he saw him at the train something immediately captivated him. He didn’t want to leave him. He was so vulnerable and fragile in his own delight that he simply couldn’t leave him. He wanted to stay beside him, he wanted to know him. He wanted to know every little detail about his life and he wanted to know what the bitter secret of this sweet rose was which caused him to think about the new day in a negative way. Which caused him to think that there’s no tomorrow. That there’s no future.

“Hey, wait!” He shouted after him when he realised that the other had already been at the entrance while he was just staring at his back not moving. But the boy didn’t turn around so Sehun started to run to catch up with him. And then a new piece of memory flashed into his mind.

"Hyung, wait for me.”
"You are always so slow, Sehun. You should learn how to hurry with things because next year I won’t be here for you. And then nobody will help you tie your shoes.”
"But I want to stay with you.”
"Come on, Sehun. You know this doesn’t work this way. You have to stay here and if you still want to learn in the same school as your brother after three years, then you can be with me again.”
"Really?”
"Yes, yes. But come on, we will be late, you little slow brat.”
"Hey!”
"Okay, then come on my little slow brother.”

“Are you coming?” Sehun stepping out of his thoughts didn’t notice Luhan’s impatient tone, instead, he nodded. This uneasy feeling again. This incomprehension again. He had a brother but he couldn’t be happy about this fact. But it seemed as if they got on well with each other.

“I had a brother.” The statement just bursted out of him. This was the first memory which he had shared with Luhan and he was staring back at him as surprised as he himself was. It wasn’t an accident. Luhan didn’t know that this wasn’t the first thing that came back to Sehun’s mind.

“What?” The Chinese male’s eyes widened and he took a step closer to the boy who was standing still like a stone statue. He had a brother. Although he didn’t remember his name, he knew that he was three years older than him. But he had one. So he wasn’t alone. So he had a family. Possibly someone was waiting for him too. And his brother, if he was in Seoul, had possibly already heard the news and was as worried as Luhan’s parents.

“I have a brother. I remember. We went to the same school and… and he was faster than me and he went to high school next year and I wanted to stay with him and…” Sehun didn’t realise that by that time tears were rolling down his cheeks. He was so happy. It may be like this when someone gets to know that his little brother has been born, he thought. It may be like this when it comes to light that he has a lost sibling who just has been found. Just simply. It may be like this when it comes to light that you are not alone.

“Slow down Sehun.” Luhan stepped in front of him with sparkling eyes. He was smiling. He was smiling again due to Sehun. He could make him happy with all of this. He could make him step out from behind his lowering walls, and it made him feel proud. “Do you remember his name? Or do you know where he is now?”

“No. I’m sorry, but no. This is all I know and that he is three years older than me.”

“Oh, I got it.” The smile immediately started to fade on Luhan’s face and Sehun noticed it of course. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to disappoint him.

“But I’ll try it harder, hyung. Okay? I will try to remember more things. And then I will be able to help you. I promise. I will try it really harder.” He grabbed the other’s arm and looked into the dim eyes begging. He thought that they were this pallid because of this. That he made him disappointed and he wanted to fix it. He wanted to help not just be a burden.

“This doesn’t work that way, silly.” Luhan quietly chuckled, then with a careless movement he ruffled the boy’s hair. “I know that you try everything so you don’t have to hurry it. It will come when it comes. The main thing is that we have already known this and this is really a huge help.” Sehun felt something warm in his chest. Some relief. And as Luhan waved him turning around to come with him, he was just following his every moment with awe. “By the way Yixing told me that you should write down into a notebook everything which come to your mind. So in the building we will get you one…” Caring. As always.

The building of Korea News was really huge. Ten floors full of glass and simplicity. They really didn’t overdo the decoration, there were woody plants only on the corridors and in the bigger halls to break the domination of the glass. If Yixing’s flat had a doctor-scent, then this place, with the televisions on the walls which showed the news of the company, smelled like media. Different screens were showing the number of spectators, the latest cover stories and the number of the sold newspaper copies. Sehun looked around amazed and he suspected that with his memories he would still wondering like this. Not every day can people see things like this.

“Why don’t we use the elevator?” He asked totally innocently but Luhan just shrugged as they left the third floor moving upper on the stairs. Those glass elevators seemed to be funnier for him.

“Because it’s simpler this way.” Sehun didn’t dare to go against him but he was really on the edge. And theoretically there were still three floors. No matter how athletic figure he had, the accident wasn’t so good for his body either so after the third floor his sides started to hurt. By now he felt the strainer pain in his thighs too and his lungs were burning. He didn’t understand why Luhan could take it so well.

“You can relax, we are here.” Sehun gave thanks to that person who hadn’t put the office of the general editor to the tenth floor, just to the sixth. So after two minutes his heart returned to normal again.

“And what are we doing here after all?” He questioned straightening up when he thought that his lungs could get enough oxygen. He decided. As soon as this rush ends, he will start to do some sports. Maybe he will be a stair climber.

“My boss knew the telephone number of my home, so I can call my parents to tell them I’m alive. Plus I can take away one of the business mobiles.”

“I got it.” Although some things weren’t clear for him, he nodded. At least he had learnt this through the last day, especially from Luhan. If nothing is fine, you should nod anyway. And then they will believe that everything is okay.

“Well, come on, I will introduce you to some of my colleagues.” Luhan grinned. He slid his hand into the boy’s and wanted to leave but a sudden power pulled him back. Sehun didn’t move from his place, he was just standing still, looking down. Luhan didn’t understand what the problem was but as his glance followed the other’s, he realised. His lips formed a little ‘O’ and his face turned into pink from its usual pale colour. Just like Sehun whose face was red too. He hadn’t noticed it. This movement was so natural for him that he hadn’t realised what he had been doing.

‘I-I’m sorry.” He immediately pulled back his arm and hastily turned around because he didn’t want his face to become visible. Sehun quietly whimpered. He liked the previous line-up. First he was surprised but it wasn’t against his liking. His body welcomed the cold of Luhan’s hand with a shiver and their fingers intertwined as the unity of perfection.

Meanwhile Luhan was busy with his own thoughts. He just scolded himself inside because he hadn’t paid attention. He shouldn’t do something like this. Sehun was just an innocent child and it wasn’t sure that he was like him. A perfection like him couldn’t be such a failure as Luhan.

After it he rather didn’t say anything, he just walked straight with lowered head, then stepped into a room.

“Hi~.” He smiled at the man in front of the office of the general editor. But the officer just looked up from his papers and then he stared at them puzzled. Luhan stopped too. He blinked a few times then raising his hand up he waved. “Chen, everything is okay?”

The mentioned man slowly opened his mouth but no sound came out from his throat. He was just simply frozen but by that time Luhan could ask if the boss was in there, the door of the office slammed open and a man, shorter than him, in casual clothes stepped out to the hall with a huge, relieved smile on his face.

“Oh my god, you are alive!” With that momentum he immediately hugged the Chinese man. At that moment Luhan realised what this was all about. The newspaper brought down the news of their death and the television told that no one had survived the accident, so possibly Chen thought suddenly that he was seeing ghosts.

“Yes, yes. But if you continue to hug me this tight, then not so long.” Luhan pulled the man away and Sehun was just watching the scene with knotted eyebrows. Okay, he knew that this man was his boss but it was interesting what kind of relationship was between them beside the work. Because from the signs Sehun concluded that this wasn’t just a boss-inferior affair. And because of it his heart started to beat faster.

“But how... or what? I have heard the accident and the list of the dead people and you were there and… who is this kid? Oh my god Luhan, you have to tell me everything.” The man behaved like a five-year-old child after eating a pack of candy. Or to be exact he was similar to a cute hamster which heard the clatter of a bag.  

“Minseok, please stop it. Let’s go in and there I’ll tell you everything. I have some requests too.” With that Luhan pushed the general editor into the office. The man suspected a cover story in the background. An article which can bring a lot of money, and that’s why he became so excited about it. “Oh, Sehun. If I ask you, can you please stay here with Chen? He will give you a notebook and a pen.” Luhan turned back as if he totally forgot the boy. And he just weakly signalled that everything was okay. He didn’t like the situation. Luhan forgot him because of this Minseok guy and he became angry due to it. He wanted the other to pay attention to only him. Not to Minseok!

“You can take a seat.” Chen flashed a kind smile at the boy but it was visible that he hadn’t returned to normal from his shock yet. He put a notebook in front of Sehun and a silver pen which announced the name of Korean News, and the other cautiously took them away. He knew that the conversation behind the door wouldn’t take just five minutes so he decided that he will write his memories down till then.

That it was important to be on the train for something.

That his mother made dolphin-shaped pancakes.

And the school memory with his brother.

During writing he sometimes glanced up to the closed door and he unintentionally heard the conversation inside the office through it. Luhan was talking to his mother calming her down that he was okay and that she should call him on this phone in the future. After fifteen minutes he was already talking to Minseok about the last day and it seemed that the other didn’t interrupted him too much. He was just listening patiently.

Sehun put the notebook down in his lap with a sigh and Chen looked up from his things. For a moment he pondered on the boy, then clearing his throat, he spoke.

“You know, you remind me of somebody.” Sehun slowly glanced up and tilted his head to the side curiously signalling that the other male should continue. “There was a photo of him in Luhan’s article… I don’t really know what his name was. Maybe something J…” But he couldn’t finish his say because the door of the office banged open again and a furious Luhan rushed out of it. Minseok was running after him.

“I won’t do it. Do you understand? No!” He shook his head continuously while grabbed Sehun’s arm and pulled him up. The boy almost dropped his notebook but he could catch it just in time.

“But why, Hannie? Your current series of article is the most successful at the newspaper’s history so far – and here I would add that it would be good if you bring us some fresh information about it – but do you know how big story would this be? Everything you have said… This would be the article of the century!” Luhan’s fingers tightened around Sehun’s arm and the skin became white around them. The boy felt that the other slowly started to tremble but he couldn’t decide if this was due to the anger or due to the memories of the accident.

“You can’t be normal. It happened yesterday and we barely could survive it. And you can only think about just the sensation. I won’t do it, Minseok. Just simply not. It won’t be fair. They all died and I stayed alive and I should make advantage of it? No. So give it up. Thank you for the mobile and the call but I won’t write an article about this. Come on, Sehun.” And with that he already dragged the boy out of the room leaving his boss behind. But Minseok wasn’t the type who just gives up easily.

“Think about it, Hannie. Think about it!” He shouted after him but Luhan simply showed up his middle finger. He heard as Minseok turned to Chen and say that ‘he will do it’ and the sad truth was that he was right. He was too perfectionist to protest. Maybe he denies it today but for tomorrow he will calm down to surrender to Minseok without any disagreement. And he hated himself because of it.

“This idiot. Really. What does he think? No one can be this stupid.” Luhan murmured stepping out to the streets and he started to walk towards his flat. Fortunately it wasn’t so far from there, at most fifteen minutes on foot.

“Hyung…” Sehun tried to say something but he wasn’t listening. His boss made him too furious. This idiot didn’t think about else just to make larger income but he didn’t think even a little about what Luhan had experienced. “Hyung.”

“What?!” He groaned at him and Sehun took a few steps back. But he had to put his thoughts together. This was something that Luhan had to know.

“Someone is following us.” He whispered leaning forward and as the other male tilted his head a little to look over his shoulders, he really saw a figure. Who was just standing at the corner and watching them. Chill ran down his spine and he slowly nodded. They needed a plan. They couldn’t go home because then they would discover their hiding place. No. They had to think about something else and Luhan knew what they needed.

“Okay. There’s another flat twenty minutes from here. That’s my official address, I just don’t use it. My parents bought it and all of my letters come there but it’s not important. We will go there now. If they are really after us, then they have already managed to find out that address from other official papers so they won’t think that we misled them. Just act as if everything was fine.” He jabbered and the boy understanding it straightened up and did what Luhan told him to do. They left. There was no need to run but they turned their pace into a hurried one while they were feeling the burning eyes on their back all the time. They could just hope that this was just an observation and not a new attempted murder.

Luhan’s apartment was indeed in a not too cheerful place. Broken down blocks of flats were towering above them and the neighbourhood’s playground rather looked like an abandoned wreck in Chernobyl than a place where the children can have fun. Sehun just grimaced, this place made him feel weird.

“Come.” Luhan hurriedly opened the door of the house with the number 16, then both of them slipped into. Looking back they was able to see the man stopping near the playground and taking out his mobile, then the whole picture disappeared from their sight when they turned left to the stairs.

The flat was much smaller and darker than Luhan’s current home. It was totally understandable why he didn’t like being there but now they didn’t have any other choice. They had to stay there for a while and maybe if nothing change, they will call Yixing to help them.

“He is still there. He sat down on a bench.” Sehun said looking out of the dirty window. Luhan wordlessly remarked it. By that time he had been already lying on the couch and with closed eyes he tried to switch his brain off. He had to relax. To ignore the outside world and not to think about the fact that in front of the house someone was waiting for them. Or that they can be attacked in any time.

Sehun cautiously went away from the window and when he noticed that Luhan’s breath was gradually slowing down and quiet snuffle filled the room, he sat in an armchair. He pondered a little in his ‘saviour’. When he was sleeping, he seemed to be so calm. He already concluded it in the morning. The daytime dark, worried lines smoothed in times like this and it became more visible how beautiful face he had. As if he had come out from a fairy tale.

The boy quietly sighed. He had a huge amount of questions towards Luhan, for example what that article was about which had brought so huge success, or if he really looked like that person on the picture in that article and which teased his curiosity the most was what kind of relationship was between him and Minseok. But he decided that he would ask them later. Luhan needed to rest because Sehun could tell how much the happenings exhausted him and he was afraid that it would cause bigger problems in the other male’s health.

“Oh my god!” The train tilted and he hit his head into the floor. But the coach didn’t stayed in that position. The awful concert of screams zipped through the vehicle and he felt that he was slowly lifted off from the ground. As if he had been in the space but here he couldn’t levitate in one place. The window opened its mouth threateningly to swallow him down and he closed his eyes not to see anything under him in vain, as hitting his arms he was falling into the frightening depth, he unintentionally opened them. And the ground seemed to be dangerously close…

“Hyung. Hyung wake up. Calm down. Hyung.” Luhan woke up breathlessly screaming. His heart was beating violently, sweat was running down on his forehead and he was heavily sobbing. He couldn’t stop shaking. The pictures of the falling train, the terrified sounds of the victims were playing in his head and he wasn’t able to chase them away. Those moments appeared in front of his eyes again and again.

“I… I can’t take…” His voice broke and Sehun pulled him into his lap. Luhan buried his face into the boy’s neck desperately gasping for air. He didn’t want to see it. And he didn’t want to experience it again. He wanted to tear it out from his memory, he wished he was amnesic. He wished he didn’t feel the sharp of the air on his skin, he didn’t feel the last pain of landing on the ground before he become unconscious, and he wished he didn’t hear the voice of the people. Those who all died. Those who all died instead of him.

“Calm down. Shh. You are here with me.” Leaning his chin on the top of Luhan’s head, Sehun slowly started to rock back and forth in his place. But this didn’t calm Luhan down. This was exactly the problem. That he was with him. Because it will be worse for him. Only bad things will happen with him just like with Luhan. He wanted to protect him from it.

“You know Sehun, if you want, you can go somewhere else. I mean, if there’s a place where you can go and want to go, then you’re free. It would be better for you.” He whispered crying into the boy’s neck who just tightened his arms around his body. He loved this feeling. He loved feeling Luhan so close to him.

“Why would I want to go somewhere else?” He asked musing. He didn’t want to go anywhere. Of course, it would be good to find his family, his brother, but he didn’t want to leave him. Never.  

“I don’t know.” Luhan shrugged moving away from Sehun. He was wringing his hands. His joints were cracking painfully and the boy felt sick from it but he didn’t stop the other. He was just waiting for him to continue. “You don’t know me at all. And I just dragged you with me not asking if you wanted it or not. Moreover it seems that with my presence you just get bigger problems. If I wasn’t, nothing would be like this.”

“Hyung, what are you talking about? This is nonsense.”

“I always attract just the bad things. Not just for myself but also for the people around me.”

“Are you always such a drama queen? I’m sure you took it from a movie.” Sehun laughed awkwardly. He couldn’t remember exactly from where this quote could be, but he was absolutely sure that this sentence had already appeared in many films. And he was sure too that Luhan was just overreacting the situation.  

“Huh?”

“I mean this is a full cliché text, hyung. Moreover they want to kill me so I brought the problem to you. You don’t have to act like a martyr.” A careless shrug. The seriousness of Lu couldn’t reach Sehun’s heart for an unknown reason and he had a feeling that it wasn’t the first time when he was in a danger. But Luhan just shook his head with teary eyes.

“Sehun, you can’t understand it…”

Don’t do this, please.

“Again. Stop it. One more dramatic movie line and I will really stand up and leave you here. They would still want to murder me without you, although I don’t know why, but there must be a reason. And no, not you dragged me with you, I came with you. Because I wanted it. Because something told me that this was right and I didn’t regret it. Although everything happened just one day ago, I like to be here with you, hyung. Why do you want me to go away?

I don’t want you to go away.

“Because nothing is okay in my life.” This was the last sentence before Sehun gently took Luhan’s face into his palms and looked deep into his eyes. He was looking for the long lost twinkle of the brown irises. He wanted to understand why they were so dim. Why they were so lifeless almost all the time.

“But why, what isn’t okay? Tell me, Luhan. I want to know.”

You don’t want to know. Believe me.

Soo did you catch it? :'D From where comes the title of the story? :')) :3 (Sehun has no past and Luhan think that there's no future. I'm a genious I know x3 Sorry~ :D)

But I'm so proud, my chapters are getting longer and longer. ^-^

Aaand yess, now their feelings start to show up. And don't worry Luhan is not crazy or depressed he is just so pessimistic and a happening like this can make everybody feel worse. I think :D But he has some secrets too... And Sehun... his personality starting to come back that's why he is braver. He is not that innocent child, you will see. :3

About the others: everything will be disvovered even the mysterious follower and that certain aricle. Just wait for it.;)

I hope nothing is too complicated or I don't know if the story goes in the right way. If you have something to say about this please tell me. I want to write it good for you. T.T

And thank you for voting. It helped a lot, and due to the result I won't change the settings then. :)

Thaaank you again <3  /Oh, I speak too much :O/