It’s 10 in the evening and I’m looking out in the city and I bet that you’re also doing the same. I know that you’re tired from the whole week of work and even if it’s weekend you still have piles of work to do.

But even though there are a lot about work that you think of, I hope that you still think about me. The things that we used to do and everything that we used to be.

You might think that I’m mad for what you’ve done but I’m not. Well, maybe a little at first. But later on I realized that there’s no point in being mad at you when I still love you. There’s no point on continuing to hate you when my heart feels the opposite.

So I don’t have a reason to hate you.

But you might think otherwise. Because of what you’ve done you might think that I’m so angry at you. But what I really want you to do is reach out to me first. I want you to call me first and ask me how I’m doing. It’s just all that it takes to take everything and restore everything that we had and that we were.

Just a call from you and things would change.          

There are times when I want to call you first, a lot of times actually but before I could even type your first number I put back my phone. It takes everything in me not to call you first. I summon all my self-control not to call you first.

But every time that I want to do it, I almost do. There’s a time when it takes the last number of your phone and I could’ve called you and we could’ve talked. But there’s just something in me that is preventing me from calling you every time I almost do.

It’s late but I can’t sleep yet. I went out of my room and went to the veranda. I was about to open the door  but I hesitated. I don’t know if I still want to go there when it triggers bittersweet memories of the past. The past that I want to live forever and the past that I want to forget. The past that made me who I am today and the past that stole my identity.

It’s ironic how I want to forget about it but I can’t even bring myself to not think about it.

I’m looking out in the city and it reminded me of you. You’re also probably also in your veranda thinking about me, about us. I hope.

“You see the people out there?”

I looked at him. He is hugging at me from the back while we’re in the veranda just enjoying the view of the city.

“No. All I see are the buildings, silly.”

“Of course but imagine all the people inside them.”

“Yeap, what’s the deal?”

“I just thought that they’re not as lucky as I am.”

“Why because you’re the heir of a multi-million company? And that soon enough you’re gonna take over everything?”

“Nope.”

“So, why do you think that you’re more lucky than them?”

“It’s because of you. I have you. I’m the luckiest man alive because I have you.”

“You know that you at those kind of lines, right? If you want to tell me how much you love me you can just tell me directly.”

“You know that I love being creative right?”

“Yes but creativity and Kim Jinwoo can’t be in the same sentence except if you add the word not.”

“You’re so mean. I’m being romantic here and you’re being a killjoy.”

I laughed at what he said. But really he’s bad at sweet talking. I even wondered how he got me to fall in love with him.

Just kidding. Kim Jinwoo is the most amazing person that I have ever met and funny, too. Just in a weird way. But I’m also weird so it’s ok.

“I love you Bae Joohyun. I love you. I love you. I love you. Do you love me?”

“That question has the most obvious answer.”

I turned around and faced him. I cupped his face and looked directly into his eyes. The eyes that drown me. The eyes that reflects my feelings.

“Of course, I love you Kim Jinwoo. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

We were so happy. We were so contented. We were so in love.

I don’t know what happened. Why we ended up like this. Ended up hating each other. Ended up separated from each other. Ended up not wanting to see each other.

The more I think about it the more I see things clearly. It was just a twist of fate that we have to end up that way. But I hope that he still remembers me and everything that we had done together.

Few days after our break-up there are times that he called me but I can’t bring myself to answer his calls. I’m afraid that hearing his voice would make me go back to him running.

I’m not over him. Still not over him. Because I’m sure that if he asks me once again I would say yes.

I went to the kitchen to get myself a coffee.

“I told you that coffee is not good for you, right?”

“Says the man who drinks coffee like it’s water.”

“I already stopped. I’m starting to live healthy, ok?”

“Fine, fine. You win.”

He chuckled and s his hands around my waist. He buried his face in my shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m thinking of cooking dinner for both of us? What do you think?”

He immediately let me go.

“I think that’s not a good idea. I can just cook and you sit there and observe me. Wait like a princess.”

“Yah!”

He just chuckled and started gathering the ingredients.

“You’re tired Jinwoo.”

“I’m fine.”

The he smirked and winked at me. I glared at him but he just laughed.

He can’t say it out loud but I know that I really at cooking. I tried like a million times to learn to cook but it’s either I’m too busy or it’s just that I don’t have the talent in cooking. I’d like to think that the reason is number one but it’s really the second.

I’m just bad as cooking just as he is bad with his sweet talks.

After a while of looking out in the city my eyes got tired and I decided to go to sleep already. When I got up I heard the doorbell.

I got confused. Who would visit me in this late hour? Is there an emergency?

With that thought I ran to the door and opened it without checking on the monitor if who is the visitor.

And shock is not enough to describe what I felt when I saw the person that is standing in the doorway.

“Jinwoo.’”