Seunghwan’s POV

“You can’t let yourself suffer just because of him Seunghwan. You have to do something to forget about him.”

Seulgi has been saying a lot of things and I’m hearing them but I don’t understand any of them. She’s been doing this since everything that seemed right was wrong all along. And I can’t believe that this all happened. I thought that we were gonna last forever.

Seulgi’s POV

“Son Seunghwan are you even listening to me?”

She didn’t even looked at me. She just keeps on looking outside the window. It’s been like this since that thing happened.

I looked at her with pity. It’s not her fault but she’s suffering right now. And as her closest friend it pains me to see her like this.

This is not the Seunghwan I know and that added more to the pain that I feel. I can’t even bring her to tell me what happened. She kept everything to her and don’t talk to us about it.

I don’t know what to do to make her feel better. I don’t even know where to start to make her open up to me and tell me everything that happened between her and Yoon Gi.

Seunghwan’s POV

“I have something important to tell you Seunghwan.”

Seunghwan, she called me Seunghwan not Wan, the nickname that he gave me. And right from that moment I know that something is wrong. I know that there’s something to happen that I won’t like and I don’t want to happen.

“What is it?”

“I’m sorry Seunghwan. I’m really sorry.”

And that is all he has to say for me to understand everything. That is the word that I don’t want to hear from him. I hated how he said those words to me like it doesn’t matter. I hated how he doesn’t seem to understand the word and what it means.

“So it’s true.”

“I’m really sorry. I know that there’s no right answer to justify what I did but I hope that you won’t hate me that much.”

And then with just that he left me. He left me hanging with millions of questions raging inside my mind. There are a lot of things that I wanted to ask from him. There are a lot of things that I want to know why he did what he did. Wasn’t I enough for him? What did I do wrong to deserve all of this? What did I do wrong that made him do that to me? What did I do wrong for him to do it all easily to me?

But for me, the most painful question that I’ve been wanting to ask him is that did he really loved me? For that short time that we were together was it really his true emotions that he showed to me or it’s just another pretense that he had to put up with?

I’m afraid that I may not be able to ask him that question ever. It’s not because I can’t face him after what he had done but because I’m afraid of is answer. I don’t want to know anything about it.

I looked around I realized that I’ve been thinking about him again. I’m at the place where he finished everything that we had. The place where I don’t want to see but for some reason I keep coming back because I like to reminisce the time when he was mine. This is the place where he was mine.

I’m sitting on a bench while looking at the surrounding. Children are playing around happily and a couple is sitting in another bench.

“What is it?”

“What?”

“There’s something in your sigh and I can feel it. There’s something wrong Wan-ah.”

“I’m just thinking that what if one day you’ll find someone better than me and you’ll not love me anymore.”

I heard him chuckled.

“And that day will never come. There’s no one that’s better than you Son Seunghwan. You’re the most perfect girl in the whole world for me and no one I mean no one is gonna replace you in my heart.”

“Promise.”

“Promise. That day will never come Wan-ah. I will never leave you for another girl. You’re the only girl for me.”

Yeah and he promised. But he broke it. He found another and left me. And I can’t live without him. He is my everything. He is everything that matters to me. But I guess he doesn’t really feel the same way to me.

I felt my phone ring.

“Hello?”

“Seunghwan-ah where are you? We’ve been looking for you all morning.”

“Why?”

“Did you forget that Irene unnie is coming home today from the States? We’re fetching her at the airport.”

Oh, crap!

“Yeah- I mean I remember. I’m just strolling and trying to breath fresh air. Where are you right now?”

“Irene unnie!”

I looked into the direction Yeri and Joy are pointing and there she is. Beautiful as ever. The same since we last saw her.

She ran towards us and we all hugged together.

“We’ve missed you so much unnie.”

“You’ve gotten so much prettier Irene unnie.”

“Unnie where’s my present?”

“Mine first. The bag that you promised.”

Irene laughed at the two maknae whose been bickering. Then she turned to Seulgi and me.

“How’s it going with Kai, teddy bear? Does he treat you well?”

Seulgi nodded and smiled shyly.

“How about you Seunghwan? How’s it going with Yoon Gi?”

Seulgi looked at me and I gave Irene unnie a half smile. She doesn’t know about my break-up with Yoon Gi yet. It hurts to talk about it with them. Not even Seulgi knows the truth about what happened.

The wound is still fresh and I can’t bring myself to even think about it. Seulgi just knows that we broke up and nothing more than that. I don’t know what to tell her because I don’t even know why it happened.

Later that night Irene unnie invited us all to have a sleep over at her flat. I don’t want to go but I don’t want to disappoint unnie. Besides we haven’t seen each other in years and this is the time for bonding. But I honestly don’t think that it’s gonna be fine because I know that it’s not.

“You’ve been very quiet Seunghwan-ah.”

“Uhm, yeah. I’m just thinking about things unnie. Stress at work.”

I chuckled and then all of a sudden she hugged me. Then she pat my back.

“You can tell me about it Son Seunghwan. I’ve been away for years but it doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten how you behave. I know that there’s something wrong and you have to tell me about it.”

I hugged her and tears just streamed uncontrollably. Then the silent crying turned into sobs. I’ve been keeping these emotions inside of me the whole time. Since we broke up I haven’t cried enough for me to express my emotions.

“He broke up with me. Almost- almost a month ago.”

Irene unnie didn’t say a thing. She just gave me an encouraging nod to go on.

“I don’t understand. He said he loves me so much and he promised that he’ll only love me no matter what happens. But then all of a sudden… he said that he doesn’t love me anymore. And it hurts… it hurts so much. I don’t know where to begin with to understand everything.”

“Seunghwan-ah…”

“Am I really not good enough for him or for anyone unnie?”

“No, don’t say that Son Seunghwan. You know that it’s not true. You are special. And it’s not your fault that you broke up. None of it is your fault. So it’s not right to blame yourself for what happened.”

“But I love him so much unnie.”

“I know and I know that feeling. You remember Minho right?”

I nodded.

Minho. Song Minho. Of course I remember him. How can I ever forget Irene unnie’s first heartache. He’s one of the reason why unnie decided to continue her studies abroad. She wanted to move on from him.

“I loved him so much. When we broke up it felt like it’s the end of my world. I felt that I have no more reason for living. He was the one that makes me want to wake up each day. His face is the first thing that I want to see every morning and his voice is that first thing that I want to hear. Everytime I’m with him it felt that everything is perfect and complete. The rest of the world doesn’t matter. And whenever we’re not together all I think is him all the time, what he’s doing and who’s with him.”

“You really loved him unnie.”

“So much but it doesn’t mean that I’m still holding on to him. Yes, I remember the feelings and the memories but it’s just that. I’m not hurt anymore whenever I think about it. And I love Jimin so much.”

Jimin is his boyfriend right now. They’ve been together for almost a year now and as what I see unnie is genuinely happy whenever she is with him.

“How do I move on from this unnie? Do I have to find someone else, too? To be able to forget about him?”

“Don’t do that. That would be a very cruel thing to do to yourself and especially to the person that you’re replacing him with. You can’t hurry yourself. Give it time. Time heals all wounds and it’s true. But remember this, the wound won’t heal unless you expose it and let it breath. It means that you have to accept the reality that you’ve been hurt and gave yourself time to cry over it. You know that the more you cover your wound it will just get worse, right? Same thing with heartbreaks. And breaking up with him doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world.”

“Unnie…”

I have to be strong. I have to breath. There are still people who cares for me and who loves me. Just because someone left me doesn’t mean that I have to abandon everything.

I can’t breathe without him but I have to.

(a/n:  I’ve been reading the stories that I have compiled and I realized that most of them have sad narrations with somewhat happy endings. So I decided to make this one have a hanging ending. This is for the one who requested it ^^ Hope you like it.)