(f(x) - "Ending Page")

 

 

 

“Behind the closed door is your space and I’m led there,

I need to read in a different language.

Deviated thoughts, mismatched visions.

 

Turn me back like a winding back a clock,

Turn me back to the happy times.

Find me the innocence that made my heart rush the most when I saw your face.”

 

 

 

After I witnessed Wendy falling unconscious in my arms, the next thing I know is me sitting beside her. In a hospital. White room, white bed sheets, white curtains.

 

 

“She will wake up soon.” Xavier stands on the other side of the bed, scrutinizing Wendy’s peaceful face. “And she will live again.”

 

 

“But-” I am totally confused. I thought they have announced her dead, so how does it work really?

 

 

He fixes his collar and smiles at me, “Things have changed a little since Wendy has made a difference now.”

 

 

Then he hands me a newspaper from today.

 

 

 

Time does not turn back. But the headline reads, “Mayor found dead in mansion. Put a bullet in his head. Court confiscated all his property.” 

 

 

I then flip to the next page. And I see Wendy’s photo there, “Saved dozens lives, Missing forensic artist found.”

 

 

“Except you, this is the story everyone knows.” He adds as I look up from the newspaper. 

 

 

“Thank you.” I say to him, from the bottom of my heart, truthfully.

 

 

“I should go now.” He bows.

 

 

I stand up, “Wait. Don’t you wanna talk to Wendy?”

 

 

He slowly shakes his head, “She shall not see me again. My job is done.”

 

 

I look at his meaningful smile and bow to him too, “Bye.”

 

 

And so, he disappears into the air.

 

 

 

He might be not any human but I have to say he is certainly nice to be with. He was beside Wendy, supporting her, all the time.

 

 

I wonder how he sees her, or what he sees in her.

 

 

And I turn back to Wendy. She is lying there with bandages all over her body. But those are not gunshot wounds. 

 

 

I lean closer and I find a new scar under her left eyebrow. It is small but still visible. I swear it wasn't there. I bring my fingers there and fix her fringe. 

 

 

 

Please wake up. I need you.

 

 

 

“Unnie, we are here.” Joy pushes the door open, followed by Seulgi and Yeri.

 

 

“Luckily they found her in time.” Seulgi sighs putting down some refreshments on the table.

 

 

Yeri hops to my side, “Wendy-unnie is still sleeping?”

 

 

“Yes.” I mutter. “She needs some rest.” 

 

 

So, we sit silently. So, they forgot about Wendy’s death too.

 

 

 

Maybe we gotta let things stay in the past sometimes, let things go. 

 

 

I can’t take my eyes off of her. I can’t let her go. She is the only thing that I can’t let go.

 

 

She loves me. She has always loved me. So please wake up now and continue loving me, continue writing this story about us.

 

 

Don’t just stop it here. I know this is not the end. When I thought it was the end, you showed up again.

 

 

 

“Good thing gone bad, as if it’s someone’s ill-mannered joke,

And I need to go back to your side.

Cross the deep tears, pass the windy desert of loneliness,

Please be there at the end of my steps.”

 

 

 

And you know I love you too.

 

 

We just forgot that when we came all the way here. I hope you have forgiven me already, Wendy.

 

 

I shouldn’t have left you there, alone, when you needed me the most. I shouldn’t have made you gone through all this, all the pain.

 

 

I hope you would forgive me, and come back to me.

 

 

 

Joy and Yeri are dozing off. The taller devil has spread her legs onto the little one’s lap. And Seulgi must have gone to do her daily random wandering.  

 

 

It is twilight so I find a comfy position on the chair and wait some more.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

A hand softly tugs mine and when I open my eyes, I am greeted by a pair of big gentle eyes.

 

 

“Joohyun-ah. How long I have been here?”

 

 

I am somehow relieved. So she remembers. 

 

 

 

“Just a few days.” I flash a smile taking her hand in mine. “You are back finally.”

 

 

She smiles too, “They finally found me. I thought I was dead under those rubble.” 

 

 

I blink. So she doesn’t remember. So Xavier knows she is not going to remember him.

 

 

“Yes,” I put my other hand on hers. “And they brought you back to me.”

 

 

 

She stares at me and I know what she is thinking just from the look of her eyes. 

 

 

“Let’s start it all over again, shall we?” I hug her and rest my head on her bony shoulder. “I love you so much, Seungwan-ah.”

 

 

She does not remember all those things happened after her “death”. So for her, she has never confronted me about the affair I had, she has never seen me killing myself. 

 

 

“Don’t cry.” Her warm voice always comforts me. I did not know there are tears on my face. “Although you are still pretty when you cry.”

 

 

She wipes my tears with her thumb with that genuine smile on her face, but I just cannot stop weeping. 

 

 

“I-I am just missing you so much.”

 

 

So she hugs me again, “I love you too. I’m here now.” 

 

 

 

I enjoy her warmth as always. I can always feel her warmth, even in those days.  “Say, Seungwan, how about me quitting my job?” 

 

 

“What?” She pulls away and widens her eyes. It is still adorable.

 

 

“I should take care of you,” I can’t bear look at those bandages again. “I should spend more time with you too.”

 

 

She scratches her head thinking, “Well, I think you still need a job, right?”

 

 

“Let’s think about it later. Now I want to take a break. Until you fully recovered.”

 

 

“Okay,” She grins. “Whatever you like.” 

 

 

 

“Can you make it not lonesome? 

Can you make those tears stop? 

If we turn the ending page of our novel,

what kind of story will it be?

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

“Do your head still hurt?”

 

 

“No. But,” She runs her fingers through her messy bed hair. “I have very terrible dreams lately. Almost every night.”

 

 

So I put my arms around her. “What are they?” 

 

 

“I saw- ”She quickly steals a glance at me then glues her eyes back on her hands, “I saw you lying in a bloody bathtub, you cut your wrist. And I…… I killed someone. A man-”

 

 

I secretly check my wrists. They are clean. And I show them to her. 

 

 

“Look, they are just nightmares.” I peck her cheek. Then I spot her new scar again. It looks somewhat familiar.

 

 

“I hope so.” She heaves a deep sigh burying her face in her palms. 

 

 

 

I think, it is the same scar that was on my left wrist. Maybe I really was the mistake in her life.

 

 

“Now go back to sleep, Seungwan-ah.” I lay back down and softly coo.

 

 

“Can you hug me to sleep?” She timidly asks.

 

 

“Of course.”

 

 

“I feel much safer.”

 

 

 

Dream of me, Seungwan-ah. 

 

 

Not me in the past, but us in the future.

 

 

 

Did you already get there ? How did I look?

Did you already get there ? When I open my eyes

I hope our love remains on top,

Where it’s been written and erased countless times.”

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

“Do you...... like it?” Wendy shyly asks as she shows me that half-finished portrait of me, which she has already shown me after I, hm.

 

 

I acted surprised, and thankfully she is too busy to notice as I ask if I can ever see a finished version since we have a lot of time now.

 

 

 

On the other hand, she has not brought up about my mistake neither. We just let it pass.

 

 

Yes, it is one of the reasons why I quitted my job. I do not want to see him and those es anymore. Still, every time when I look at the scar under her left eyebrow, it reminds me those terrible things I have done.

 

 

I have killed her once. And every time, I would plant a soft kiss on it and Wendy would giggle.

 

 

 

Seulgi, Joy and Yeri are probably the ones who are as happy as me with Wendy coming back and recovering fast. They would drop by at our house nearly every day. And they have even helped us to redecorate it.

 

 

It looks much livelier now. A branch new start.

 

 

Wendy is much livelier now too. The old Wendy is back. The cheerful bright Seungwan who has the most contagious smile on earth. I cannot ask for more.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

“Hello, Irene.” An officer chirps as I step in the new police station. 

 

 

“Good afternoon, Officer Choi.”

 

 

He takes a sip on his coffee, “Wendy is in her studio. I think she is still working on a skull.”

 

 

“Thanks. Have a nice day.” 

 

 

 

I walk through corridor, take the elevator and everyone greets me with a smile. It looks like they are getting over it too. The fire, the Mayor, and his daughter. It has to end, right? Everything must have an end.

 

 

I push the glass door open and I can see Wendy sitting beside her huge working desk with all sorts of papers scattered over it.

 

 

“Hey.”

 

 

“You’re here.” Wendy puts down her palette knife and places her model skull back in a box. “How’s the interview?”

 

 

No one is looking so I steal a peck on her lips. “Make a guess?”

 

 

“Bae Joohyun, hmm let me see,” She slides her chair farther away so that she could take a good at me. “If I were the boss, I would totally let you pass. Look at those legs, and that tight shirt.”

 

 

She finishes with her little giggles. She is such a dork but it is what I love about her.

 

 

 

“I regret asking you that question.” I massage my temple shaking my head. “Sometimes, I doubt you are gawking at those female cops all day instead of working.”

 

 

“I swear I am not, ” She pouts. “Who needs to gawk at them when there is a girlfriend like this.”

 

 

“Whatever, ” I turn around. “I am hungry.”

 

 

She tails me like a little puppy, “What do you wanna eat? Lunch on me since you passed the interview.”

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

“You know what, ” Wendy beams when we are waiting for our orders. “My mom called earlier and said they might spend the summer here, along with Maxwell too.”

 

 

“Great.” I smile recalling the dog with a furry head and charismatic eyes. “I miss your parents too. Perhaps we can invite them over to Daegu.”

 

 

“Really?” She is excited like a kid getting her favorite toy. “Yes, I have been thinking about……”

 

 

I zone out a bit as Wendy begins to talk about all the interesting things we can do in the summer, with our families.

 

 

 

And then, I see a familiar face passing by the window of the diner. He catches my attention with his special eyes, which resemble Maxwell’s so much.

 

 

He is wearing a grey suit and a red tie. A little bit too formal and too tidy for normal people. He stops and looks at me, then Wendy.

 

 

He lifts a smile as he sees Wendy blabbering in her hyper mode. He gives me a nod and waves me goodbye.

 

 

Xavier walks into the crowd and disappears this time. As a messenger of death or something, he is a super nice one I must say.

 

 

 

“Your ideas are always the best and, ” I turn back to Wendy. “It’s always fun when I am with you, you know.”

 

 

She dramatically covers her chest, “Oh, I can’t take your cheesiness now. Did you hurt your head too when I was away?”

 

 

“Maybe.” I chuckle. “But I think it works better than ever now.”

 

 

“Me too, Joohyun. Me too.” She playfully smacks my arm.

 

 

Wendy. Please be stay like this until the end.

 

 

Stay by my side as the bright and smart girl you are.

 

 

 

I saw your paintings about those “bad dreams” you had.

 

 

They are so real. And they are indeed real.

 

 

I know those feelings are real to you too. But just keep in mind that, I would never hurt you, not anymore. And I know you would never hurt me too. You have never meant to hurt me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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