Woohyun woke up, lifting his head slowly from his desk as the sun filtered in through his blinds, beams of light stretching across the walls like his own linier horizon. He groaned wiping the drool from his face with the back of his hand, which was asleep none the less and quite painful. He gathered his mess of papers and bound his notebook shut closing in his thoughts from the previous night, hiding them away from the light of day. Dragging himself up and out of his room he headed down to the kitchen padding along slowly, head not lifting as he kept his gaze focused on the ground, eyes locked on the trail of sticky tiles that lead to the kitchen. The frat was eerily quiet, and he swore he could hear himself breathing, which did nothing for his anxiety that was at an all-time high. Pressing his fingers into his neck he felt for a pulse to make sure his heart was still beating and once it was he decided that a nice big cup of coffee would make everything better and hopefully speed up his heart rate enough that it would explode in his chest.

He chuckled at his dark thoughts. This was one of those moments where he swore people who smoked cigarettes would want one. Something to fill his lungs or maybe it was that he needed something to fill his head. It was surprisingly empty and that was the scary part. It left him open to everything. Watching the cream swirl in his coffee he thought about how he never asked for this life. Though they say to feel is to be alive, but this, was not the life he wanted. He didn’t want to feel and right now he was doing a great job of just that. He was going numb like his limbs. This gourmet coffee Sungyeol had purchased long ago did nothing for him. Chocolate-cherry-whipped-whatever it was supposed to be, tasted like regular old coffee to him.

Grabbing a granola bar he took his coffee with him as he returned upstairs to his room. He sat back down at his desk turning his computer on, the harsh light making him wince. He took a bite of his granola and a sip of coffee to wash it down. Unfortunately it went down all wrong and he choked, causing him to spill coffee on himself. Standing with a huff he walked to the bathroom flipping on the light, taking his shirt off to give it a good rinse. When he finally looked up at the mirror he couldn’t believe the person in the reflection was himself. The color was drained from his face, eyes red and there was a deep purple bruise forming under his lower lip. He reached up to touch it hesitantly at first then pushing against the hallow skin. He hissed. It hurt more then he thought.

Sunggyu stared out the window in his kitchen as he watched the smoke rise from the buildings across the city. Up here in his loft perched above everyone else he down one cigarette after another not eating or sleeping, eyes heavy and drooping. He had dark circles, but they were the kind he deserved, unlike Woohyun. Woohyun. Woohyun was all he could think about, but after what had happened the previous night how could he even fathom Woohyun would think of him at all. His cat purred loud as she nuzzled up against his legs concerned for her owner.

Looking at the grey little fluff ball he was reminded of his sister.

After the numerous text messages he decided to give up and let Woohyun come to him. It probably wasn’t even that bad, so he assumed that Woohyun was busy, which pissed him off even more. Slamming his hand on the kitchen table he let out a thick puff of smoke cursing out loud. Standing quickly the chair pushed out with a loud screech as it scraped against the tile, making his shoulders haunch at the sound.

“ing stupid chair.”

He kicked it.

When the chair hit the ground Woohyun’s face immediately flashed into his mind. It wasn’t the brilliant brunet’s usual smile, no, it was the look of horror in his eyes when he turned to face Sunggyu after what he had done. The words replaying through his consciousness over and over.

You hit me. You hit me. You… hit… me.

Sunggyu sunk into himself. He didn’t want to live any more. The wretched feeling seeping into his bones was like the worst kind of poison and he could feel, his heart already beginning to go dark. He needed to lay down so he did. The room was spinning and closing his eyes didn’t help. He stared at the ceiling for a long time, the blinding light from the sun burning into his retinas as it bounced off the whites of the walls. He still needed to get those curtains. Feeling more then distain and self-loathing he thought it would be a wonderful idea to call Myungsoo.

“Yo.”

“Hey, Sunggyu. How can I help you?” There was a quiet chuckle coming from the other end, this stupid kid thought the dumbest things were funny. Sunggyu shook his head.

“Any races?” Sunggyu sat up, head in his hands as he breathed into the receiver.

“I’m assuming you ed up again… or you need cash?” There was no laughter this time.

“ you. I just need something to do. I am bored and getting paid is a nice perk.”

“Don’t you remember what happened last time? They ed you up.”

“They cheated.” Sunggyu scoffed.

“How bout you come here… There are much better things…” Sunggyu could hear his friend’s devious grin without even having to see it he knew Myungsoo had that devilish smile plastered on his face.

“I am not into whatever you are doing.” Sunggyu paused for a moment but there was no response. “I’ll find my own.” He huffed.

“Good luck.” The line went dead.

Now it was the dead of winter. Snow, frost and ice were a major issue but there were tunnels and he had those two dirt bikes he claimed after the last alley race. He didn’t know how but Myungsoo got them both back into the garage and all in one piece without even a word, but Sunggyu doesn’t ask questions. With Myungsoo things just were, the impossible seemed to be possible.

Shrugging his shoulders, he slipped off of his bed and into his boots. Clad in only a sweater and boxers, he sauntered his way down into the drafty garage to check out his options. Flipping on the lights, he pulled the cover off his Harley and gave it a good once over, a smile creeping over his face, the brilliant red sparkling even under the crappy overhead lamps. He stepped over the tarp and dug through the side bag to find his helmet. As he was pulling it out Woohyun’s scarf came along with it, the soft material fell onto the dirty floor and it was back in Sunggyu’s hands before he even realized he had picked it up. Flustered, he tried to shove it back into the bag, he groaned loud, frowning when he dropped his helmet. Standing there helpless, he watched it roll away. No longer wanting to deal with the annoying voice in the back of his mind, he pulled the cover over his bike and decided to move on.

He covered his bike again and decided on the dirt bike that was less flashy. He didn’t need to bring more attention to himself now, they already tried to kill him once. When he finally returns upstairs he realizes daylight is fading. He manages to dress himself and find a race. It was in the tunnels, though he had never raced there. Winter was usually his off-season. To think it had been less then twenty-four hours and he was already considering ing himself up as much as possible over the situation. Woohyun hadn’t even responded yet. He had no clue what was even going on but Kim Sunggyu was brash and liked to jump to conclusions.

To be quite honest Woohyun had forgotten about his phone. It was probably dead and tangled up in his blankets or somewhere on the floor. The semester was over but there was always work to be done and he made sure his days were full. Longer shifts at the record shop and five days a week at his radio show. Bundled up for his long day ahead he trudged outside into the slush and snow and made his way to the bus stop. Once it arrived he hopped on and immediately pulled out his notebook pen hanging from the corner of his mouth because he couldn’t function fast enough with his mittens, tossing them somewhere in his bag. He had a long ride so there was enough time for a few sentences. The sky was grey as usual the sun nowhere to be found. There was a lack of inspiration but the people on the bus always made it worth his while. He would do exercises describing every single thing with in eye sight with the utmost detail. It wasn’t just an old lady sitting at the front of the bus, no, she was a stately elderly woman with silver blue hair reminiscent of the queen of England. If only she was wearing a stand of pearls and a crown instead of a strange looking plastic bonnet and ratted old scarf.

Getting off the bus it was freezing and the sidewalk was iced over completely. Trying to be as careful as possible Woohyun made his way to the shop to open the door but before he could even set a hand on the handle, he was flat on his back, eyes fixed on the sky. He stayed there for a long while just staring at the even darker clouds that were rolling in, breathing in and out slowly until the pain in his lower back subsided. Finally a quiet ‘ouch’ escaped him and he decided to just lay there with his eyes closed for a moment longer. Suddenly the only sun that was shining was blocked out by a dark shadow and he peeked up to see what it could be. Had he been laying there so long it was already night? He laughed and the shadow spoke.

“What’s so funny?” It was Dongwoo who was crouched next to him laughing as well. A wide grin spread across his face. “Actually I saw the whole thing. I came to visit but you guys weren’t open yet so I went to get some coffee. I figured you would be back soon.

Woohyun looked up at him without a word and Dongwoo held out the two coffees to him but didn’t offer to help him up. Sometimes he could swear his best friend was a bit slow. He shook his head and smiled.

“Help me up!” Woohyun lifted his head up off the ground and struggled a bit more intentionally to try and get the point across that he had just slipped on ice.

“Oh oh!” Dongwoo being Dongwoo, set the coffee down on the ground and pulled Woohyun up by his scarf almost tipping over himself, knocking the coffees in the process. Finally getting Woohyun to his feet, he grabbed their drinks and followed Woohyun inside. “Is the big boss here today?”

“Nope, just me.” Woohyun half sang as he flipped on the lights and tossed his bag over the counter.

He thanked Dongwoo for the coffee suddenly feeling surprisingly calm seeing his best friend. The nerves from this morning had completely subsided. Walking around the shop Woohyun did all of his morning tasks, asking his short friend to turn on the neon ‘OPEN’ sign, which was a mistake and another good laugh. Apparently the chair he stood on was older then the two of them combined and collapsed as soon as Dongwoo set foot on it. It also just so happened to be his boss’s favorite chair.

They spent the rest of the morning trying to glue and tape the chair back together. There were a few customers but not many considering the weather.

“I am going to kill you.” Woohyun laughed as he handed over another strip of duct-tape.

“It’s like new. He will never know.” Dongwoo smiled as he put the last piece on and set the chair down. It wobbled and Woohyun whined. “Maybe…” Dongwoo shrugged but Woohyun couldn’t hate him. “So Woohyunie… what happened to your lip?”

“Oh this?” Woohyun reached up and touched it briefly. “Bar fight.” There was a hint of excitement in his own voice that he didn’t expect.

“A what!?” Dongwoo was confused. “You were in a bar fight?”

“Well, no. I tried to stop one.”

“Who started it?”

“It’s kind of blurry.” Woohyun couldn’t keep eye contact with Dongwoo after that. He couldn’t tell if his own cheeks had flushed or all the color had drained from them.

“Who hit you?” Now Dongwoo was suspicious.

“It was just an accident and I got in the middle. Guys fight all the time.”

“Nam Woohyun. Who are you?” His short friend shook his head. “Listen, watch yourself okay? I have seen you got through a lot but I have never seen you like this. Promise me.” There was a look of concern like Woohyun had never seen before, but his immediate instinct was to protect Sunggyu.

“I promise. Everything is fine.”

Dusk was settling in and Sunggyu was driving toward the sunset at the end of the river. The icy black tar beneath him was just an added bonus to the freezing air whipping against his face. He sped around the street corners and found what he was looking for, the marker, another blazing barrel.

Parking near the entrance to the tunnel, he kept his helmet on, all black this time, nothing to distinguish who he was, part of him heeding Myungsoo’s warnings.

“How much to buy in?” He had made his way over to the bookie taking bets.

“A dime.”

“ing Christ you people are killing me.” Sunggyu groaned and pulled a stack of twenties out of his jacket. “Here.” He slapped the wad of cash into the masked man’s hand and went back to make some final checks on his bike.

“What’s this?” A voice came from behind. The man circled around Sunggyu and his new ride. “This looks like my boy Richie’s bike, don’t it?”

Sunggyu turned his attention to the moron who was currently hovering over him. “Who?”

“He said he got his bike swiped in an alley race and when he won the guy took it wrong and went nuts. Beat his head in with his helmet. Broke his whole face. I heard he has to be wired up for the next two years before he can start to eat without a straw.”

“That’s too bad.” Sunggyu held not even the slightest twinge of remorse in his voice. “Maybe if you guys win you could use the money to send him flowers.”

And that was the end of the conversation. Someone came up from behind and whacked Sunggyu in the back of the head with what had felt like a brick, luckily his helmet took most of the damage, but now he was surrounded. The grin that spread over his face was one of pure evil and the devil himself may have fled in that moment. Sunggyu never backed down from a fight. The flickering light from the flames was casting strange shadows and the more he looked around the more the earth was spinning on its axis. The blow struck him to the core but still he held up his fists. They came at him all at once. In the next few moments what happened was not to be remembered. He hit the ground with a loud thud but they were not finished just yet. A couple ungraceful kicks to the ribs had him coughing up blood. The darkness left his vison and he came to life again taking his helmet off as quickly as he could. Leaving it on may have been a better idea but in that moment he just needed to breathe.

“-“ The word ripped from his throat and he was in a ball gripping his sides.

Why did he do these things to himself? The question replayed in his mind and he got his answer with another blow to the back of his head. He did it to feel…

Everything went black.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally came to. There was a figure crouching beside him, arms crossed. With blurred vision he couldn’t exactly make anyone out even that close. The outline of a man stood and tapped him repeatedly with his foot.

“Well look at that, you didn’t kill him. Idiots. I don’t know if I should thank you or not.”

Sunggyu rolled onto his back, eyes squeezed shut as he winced from the pain. He could swear he heard a round of apologies from the idiots who had pummeled him, as they bowed to their leader. He snorted.

“Hey. Get up.” The man was starting to come into focus. “Can you hear me? I said, get up!” He snapped his fingers in Sunggyu’s face to which Sunggyu gave no response, only turning his head to the side.

“What if he has brain damage?”

“Just give him a second.”

Sunggyu managed to collect himself, vision still blurry but the pain wasn’t even minutely close to his last incident.

“Oh, good, you’re moving. Do you remember me? I told you we would kill you, but you didn’t stay away. I even warned you.

Sunggyu’s head was spinning as he sat up straight, gripping his face.

“Who the are you?” He laughed at the blurry man, once again wrong decision. There were hands at his throat.

“Listen to me. I do not like you interfering with my life. You are everywhere now. Unbelievable. I thought I was rid of you after high school. Piece of .” The man spoke, slightly muffled as he was wearing a mask.

Too weak to do anything else the red head reached up with what strength he had and pulled off the mask exposing the man’s face, his next move was to spit at him. Wrong again Kim Sunggyu. His own subconscious laughing at him this time and the world went dark, for good

He wasn’t close to death but the tiny raindrops hitting him in the face were enough to wake him up as they landed on his obviously broken nose. He lay there arms and legs spread as he sprawled out on his back. If they wanted to kill him he would be dead by now. His mouth tasted bitter and his nose stung but he was unmovable, instead opening his mouth as wide as he could without causing himself any more pain.

Then came a vibration.

“Woohyun.”

Dongwoo left the record shop to return home and spend his night like a normal person. After closing up the shop Woohyun headed to the radio station, where he finished up any work he had left to do. Being that it was a week night there was nothing too eventful. He made a few announcements some for the college, some for the new indie bands playing in town and a few for all the parties coming up. Christmas and New Years eve were around the corner and that meant a nice long break. Woohyun was happy to think about the time he would get to spend with his boyfriend. Forgetting all about last night and this morning he went on to play all of the love songs in his arsenal.

His night ended there at the radio station and much earlier then anticipated because while there he noticed that his phone hadn’t been with him this whole time. Getting on the bus, he prayed to get home sooner but the gods didn’t control the metro, these things ran like clockwork. Once home, Woohyun immediately found his phone calling his red haired rocker boy.

Using all of his strength Sunggyu ped his jacket reaching into his pocket to find the cause of the slight tremble against his chest. The image lighting up on the screen was heaven sent, his guardian angel.

“Why are you calling me?” Nothing else mattered in that moment not even the throbbing in his cheek bones with every word that he spoke, as a smile spread over his lips.

“I just got home and realized that my phone was on silent. I know I don’t usually call but I really missed you.” He sounded pouty and really cute, at least to Sunggyu in that moment anyway.

“You missed me?” There was a slight pause and hesitation. “Hey, Hyun… I’m sorry about last night.” He frowned at the words as he said it, slowly turning his head as a distraction for the lashing that might come next; looking over at his bike that was still surprisingly where he left it.

“Eh. I’m over it. No worries. When do I get to see you?” Woohyun was home now lying in bed missing Sunggyu more then ever. He sighed heavily into the receiver.

“How about now? Give me an hour.”

“Okay.” Woohyun sounded more then happy to oblige. “I should get you a key or something. I don’t want to have to come all the way down stairs to answer the door.” He whined and Sunggyu groaned.

They said their goodbyes. Kim Sunggyu was still on the ground flat on his back. He chuckled as he sat up slowly dusting himself off when he finally decided to stand. Then he realized his money was still there but maybe not all of it because it was scattered over the dirt and gravel, soaking wet. A few bills blowing around the empty lot when the wind came. He cursed the heavens as he collected the dirty green pieces of paper, shaking them off one at a time.

Grumbling to himself he hobbled back to his bike not too beat up this time around. Maybe someday he would learn his lesson. He put on his helmet without a thought nearly yelping at the pain but he laughed as tears streamed down his cheeks.

“This is what I get.” He snorted, then cursed because, ‘that ing hurt too.’

With that he lowered the visor and took off toward his favorite place to be. The only thing he left behind was the glow of his taillights in the dark. Arriving at the frat, all was silent, windows dark. The pavement was wet and glistening, no ice to be found as he parked his bike near the curb, tomorrow would be a warm day. Texting Woohyun he walked up to the door helmet still on as he waited for an answer.

The door opened...

"Sunggyu."

___________________________________________

AN: happy aniversary.... Hello guys it has been one year since I last posted. COUGHS ...sorry... COUGHS Well it's still not over as you can tell and wont be for many chapters to come. I already have the next chapter started so do not fret!! Ah I do feel bad for making you all wait so longgg... please like subscribe comment tell your friends and family pfffttt LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!