Chemistry was the worst thing I’ve ever had probably in my life. It consumed my soul like dementors, my happiness out and left me stray on the ground, blankly spacing out at nothing, because well—I’ve lost my common sense. I could never figure out how people like Lalisa excelled in this subject (she excelled in almost everything, so yeah) but still, it frustrated me because did not matter how hard I try and what way I took, chemistry was literally out of my league.

            After the last question, I collected the paper on the teacher desk immediately, above a pile of papers which belonged to the smarty pants students who had finished for like in the first thirty five minutes. My mind was too consumed to take a double check on my work, I left it all to fate, I’ve done the best I could, and I tried to not expect for the highest probability—a B would be more than fine. My work has done and now I could step out of the class without a weight on my shoulder, at least until the result is out.

            Lalisa was one of those smarty pants students who had finished in the minute of forty—and I bet her score would be a perfect A as usual, I wouldn’t be surprised anymore. She waited for me in the hallway, standing with her eyes tied to three hundred pages of Sherlock Holmes that she held as she leaned against the wall. Her hair left me giggling; such mess chemistry had given to her. She thought too much about electrolysis and the Volta cell that she forgot about her own grooming. I approached her and she noticed me five feet before I got her.

“You’re done?” she asked. Her hands slipped the Sherlock Holmes into the green backpack she carried. “It wasn’t that hard, right?”

Of course, it was not. “No, it wasn’t that hard. I understood the concept but it got me time to figure out the inputting of the matters into the formula.” I said as I used my fingers to brush her hair a little. She replied with a smile.

            She embraced her right arm around me and led me to take turn towards the hallway, walking ourselves to the quad downstairs in the center of the building. It was easy for her to embrace me because she was taller than me.

“Well, at least you understand. You’ll figure it all out soon enough.” She smiled. “I am so proud of you. You actually improved, to be truly honest.” She released her embrace.

I stared at her. “Really? I did?” I said unbelievably.

She nodded. “Yeah, really. My idea works! You study much better without your phone!” she said.

I half agreed with her, my phone had been taking a huge part as a distraction on my studies. She was right, again, like always. I silently smiled, feeling proud of myself.

“Thank you” I said. “There’s nothing better I can say”

“No problem, mademoiselle!” she said in return.

We took the crowded stairs to go down to the first floor. Lunchtime was indeed the most crowded period of a school day, everybody left their class and went downstairs to eat, and some people chose to play or just hangout instead. Jennie always told us that the canteen food ‘couldn’t be trusted’ and she suggested us to bring our own food from home. She was right after all and by bringing food from home, it saved a lot of our time—people took the line across the whole canteen place to get their food from the canteen lady and it wasted around five to ten minutes.

            So I, Lalisa, Jisoo and Jennie herself, we brought our own food from home that were clean, low calories and saved time up to ten minutes. Jennie taught us about dieting and stuff which I never really understand. But with her help, I lost a few pounds in a few weeks and the food and exercise she told me actually helped me shape my body. She was a genius, no doubt. But still, she got the best body out of four of us—and she was tall.

“So what do you have for lunch?” Lalisa asked as we took the stairs.

“Hhmm… As usual” I said. “Another western food because my mom never have any Korean food ingredients on her shopping list.” She was uncertain on what to say, so I continued. “What about you?”

“I am not eating” she said.

“What? Why? You can’t miss lunchtime, it’s not good for you” I said.

She laughed and said “I’m saving my lunch for PE. You know how I am always extremely hungry after doing sport! Anyway, this time we have our PE period at afternoon, which is more tiring than if we have it at morning. So I will be eating when we get home.” She explained.

“No, you still have to eat.” She stared at me. “Just a bit! Then you can save the rest for PE. Come on you need to fill your tummy with something!” I said.

We took turn to another hallway that led us to the quad. People were hanging out at their lockers and some on their classes, they were staring at us, like always—we were used to it. Lalisa chuckled and gave me a thumb up.

“Okay” she said. “I’ll eat some” I smiled. “Thank you for your concern, Lee Hayi-ssi” she jokingly said.

Just then, a bunch of boys were coming at us. And no, none of them was Mino, they were not his friends. They were just some boys who weren’t rich and cool enough to hang out with Mino. They were coming at us, and one of them seemed to be locking his eyes on, which came to my surprise—Lalisa.

            He was tall, like, so tall, and he had a basketball on his left arm as if it was his whole life. The uniform he wore was out of place, it was a mess, but I could tolerate it because he was a boy. His friends were laughing and probably, in my suspect, teasing at him, but I had no clue why. The closer he got, the more I was convinced that his eyes were locked exactly on the girl who stood beside me, and she still did not know. I tried to give her a signal but it was too late, he was too close for me to make obvious movement—and to tell Lalisa that a good looking boy was about to say hi to her.

“Hi, Lalisa-ssi.” He said, pausing his steps a bit as he awkwardly waved at her with a smile.

            She got alarmed and lifted her gaze at him, giving her smile in return.

“Hi” that was the only thing she could say.

The boy and his friends passed us away with a lot of cheering and laughing. I heard them cheering for the boy like he just did something incredible that deserved to be celebrated. It was cute in some points. I got Lalisa was still clueless about the boy, but I stood here smiling at her, because I knew something good was going to happen soon. I was more than ready to be happy for her.

            When I was certain the boy and his squad was far gone, I poked my elbow to her arm and said. “Did you see that?” I widen my eyes at her.

“See what?” she asked clueless.

“That guy!” I almost yelled. “Oh my, you can’t be like this every time a guy is trying to get to know you” I said.

“What? That guy?” she pointed at where the boy went. “He just said hi to me. He was not trying to get to know me, okay?”

“If it was really just a hi, he wouldn’t say it with your name tied in the end, He mentioned your name, he knows your name.” I said.

“Well, everybody knows my name” she said. She was right actually.

            I gave up and left it all for her to process. If she was not that clueless to realize, I bet she would be happy by now. It was just a matter of time. Even if that boy was really just saying hi to her and he didn’t mean anything more than that, I was certain he got something for Lalisa—something called crush. The way his friends acted explained everything and his awkward wave, for God’s sake, why couldn’t she see it?

“Okay, suit yourself. But don’t ever say I didn’t warn you, lady” I said. “If only I know his name” then I muttered.

We were passing a crowded part of the hallway, in front of a classroom where the students inside seemed to be having some kind of prank, typical of high school life. The hallway was so crowded it made it narrow. I was not even curios to know what; maybe another boy got his bag full of spoiled food or something. There were a lot of talking, laughing and yelling, and it got me uncomfortable as I disliked crowded place, and so did Lalisa.

After we passed the last crowd of people in front of us, I breathe myself in as I brushed my hair a little, just to make sure it wouldn’t be a mess. That was when my eyes caught something I was familiar with, something I was not certain I would regret of seeing or not. He was walking alone as he carried his black backpack behind. This time, he got no black hoodie or the mysterious vibe that got me curious about him. This time, it was just him, face wide open, eyes were as clear as ever, he wore the uniform just like everybody, and I was surprised to see how he was so different than the person I met in the music room. This version of him was reckless, as if he got no interest in life, as if he did not like being in this place, as if he just let it all passed by and as if people did not matter to him. And I realized, before I found his eyes out of the crowd that surrounded us—his eyes were already in me.

Did you ever got a feeling like your heart was about to jump out and you couldn’t breathe? I’ve felt it, right in this time, and suddenly the whole world was collapsing around me and then there left just him in my sight. I was stunned at how he normally looked; I’ve never seen him being normal, like everybody else, getting classes and carried his backpack. All I’ve ever seen from him was the harsh world he gave me insight, and his attitude towards me that made me sick of him. I guessed, his world really was a crazy thing.

He stared at me and I stared at him, as if we both knew exactly that down here we placed ourselves differently then what we exposed to each other up in the music room. I wanted to approach him and say hi, but I knew it was not how things work down here. Looking at how he placed himself in this crowded place, I knew—I knew exactly I did not belong to stand next to him. He did not belong to ever speak to me and I was certain he knew about that already. That was why he was silent, not a word or a single jibe he deliver to me. He only looked deeply into my eyes and I realized how handsome his face got the more I observed it.

I was about to passed him by in the hallway, he got closer and closer to me and I broke off my gaze before anyone realizes what I did. Moreover, I could not handle the heartbeat inside my chest when his eyes got closer to mine. Why am I so weak? I thought to myself. Then, when he was exactly walking pass me by; I felt a part of his arm touched mine. It was a slight touch but it was enough to give me goose bumps. I was jolted but I tried hard not to turn my head to him who was already walking behind me, making himself somewhere behind me and Lalisa.

“Are you alright?” Lalisa asked.

I turned to her. “I-I’m fine.” I said simply.

“You really hate a crowded place, don’t you?” she said. “Me too” she continued.

What I experienced back there did not need to be known by her. I would keep it to myself, for now, because I was not ready enough to tell Lalisa the truth about my love life, about what I knew about Mino, about text messages from Song Yunhyeong and about that guy whose name I still did not know.

 I would tell her, because I trusted her the most, but now was not the right time. I saw the quad already and we took circle around it to find a bench for us to eat. When we were walking, I felt a hand poked my shoulder from behind. Could it be him?

“Lee Hayi?” I turned around only to found it was actually Kim Donghyuk in his sling back attached to his shoulder.

“Donghyuk!” I said, shocked. “What? What’s the matter?” I said.

“I need to talk to you. It’s important” He said, looking at Lalisa. “Alone”

I followed him to one of the bench in the hallway, he told me to sit but he didn’t sit beside me, he chose to stand as he crossed his arms. I guessed he was respecting me for my status as ‘Mino’s girlfriend’, or he just did not want to sit next to me.

“So…” I said awkwardly “What’s up?”

“I know his name.” he said strictly.

“Whose name? I didn’t ask-…” I paused as I got reminded by something. I did ask him to find someone’s name—no, it was his name. Yes, I was certain. “Oooh…yes, of course I did.” I bowed. “So, you found him, huh?” I said as I lifted my gaze at him.

“Yes, I did. Just a moment ago, in the hallway…and I bet you saw him too.” He said.

I was shocked and I stood up immediately. “You saw him? B-but how do you know…”

“I talked to him.” He said. “Just when he was walking, I stopped him and I talked to him”

I blinked unbelievably. “You talked to him?” he nodded. I sighed as I walked around him and said. “But how do you know he was the one I meant?”

“Easy.” He said as he leaned to the pillar behind him. “I know there are a couple of boys who used to go to the fourth floor, and as I said before, one of them is Koo Junhoe.”

“Okay, I’m following.” I said as I nodded.

“So after you asked me about that hooded guy in the fourth floor, I started to observe Koo Junhoe and his two other friends. I happen to know one of them, Bobby, he is my classmate, and the other one, I have just known a moment ago when I passed him. I stopped him and asked for his name. I was afraid he wouldn’t tell me and at first he did  refuse to tell me, so I set a backup plan, I said it’s for school matter, and he told me.”

“and what did he say?” I said.

“But it’s a bit weird.” He said as he narrowed his eyes. “I think he wasn’t being honest.”

“What? What did he say?” I stepped closer to him.

“He said his name is…” he paused. “B.I”

Just then, the bell was ringing and the people around me started to move. I looked at Donghyuk in wonder; he turned around and went away. I kept muttering his name in my mind, B.I, as I froze, spacing out to the ground. It did not make sense; his name did not make sense, why would he lie about his own name? Why should people call him by an initial?

“Hayi!” Lalisa called me. I turned around and she was with, surprisingly, Jennie. “Come on, we got to get changed for PE!” she yelled.

I walked towards them and I looked at Jennie who was smiling weirdly at me. It all did not make sense, everything did not make sense. I could not comprehend everything that happened around me. And as I walked, my voice got loud and I swore I did not mean to, but I did it.

“B.I” I spoke it.

And Mino was there, behind Jennie and Lalisa, glaring at me, as if I did something wrong.

And I felt wrong.