CHAPTER 11

It hurt to leave the house that he thought was a place where his baby will be born and grow. It hurt even more when his baby keep kicking his stomach, as if she was against his decision to leave the house that hold memories of him and Jonghyun. Even though it was nothing but a lie, he was happy. Even if Jonghyun was pretending to love him, he was happy. He couldn’t lie that he wasn’t happy.

He was hoping Jonghyun to chase after him and told him that everything was a joke, a sick joke to surprise him. But his hope was nothing but an empty wish. What about his diary that Jonghyun found? What about several round of love making that they did every night? What about the time they spent together as a married couple? Everything was a lie?

He wanted to ask, he wanted to curse, but nothing came out from his mouth. His lips sealed itself without his permission. Kibum wanted to stop crying for someone like Jonghyun, but it didn’t go as he wished. His eyes disobey him by letting the tears running through them. He was broken and he didn’t know how to piece his heart together again. 5 years being away from Jonghyun, couldn’t help him to forget the older and now, he was bearing Jonghyun’s child. How on earth, would he forget Jonghyun and the heartache that the older caused?

His body felt extremely weak, but he kept on walking. He wanted to forget. Everything is too much for him to handle. He wasn’t strong as he looked.

“Jjong, Please tell me you’re joking…I can’t handle this. Please…” Kibum whimpered in his sobs, holding his shirt tightly as if he was holding his heart.

But unfortunately, Kibum was too far from Jonghyun. There’s no way in hell, Jonghyun would able to hear his desperate pled.

“Baby, what I’m going to do? Your father didn’t love me” said Kibum while caressing his baby bump. His tears wouldn’t stop, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it.

“Bummie Hyung?”

Kibum knew that voice. He turned his body around, only to find Taemin with extremely worried expression. Fresh tears forming in his eyes at the sight of his younger cousin, in that instant Kibum pulled the younger into tight hug.

Taemin couldn’t help but to also cried along with Kibum, even though he didn’t know the reason of the older being like this. Kibum has never cried like this. He couldn’t help but feel suspicious of Jonghyun, after he received that weird message from the older.

Did they fight?

But knowing Kibum, the older won’t be like this over a small fight. Kibum never showed his vulnerable side to him. Not even once. No matter how sad he was, but today was different.

---

Kibum didn’t know when Taemin brought him home, but here they are in front of his parent’s house. Taemin kept asking him why he was crying, but he was too hurt. He didn’t want to recall the hurtful things that Jonghyun said, without even looking at him. Was Jonghyun so disgusted, to even face him?

Without uttering any words, Kibum steps into the house and went straight to his bedroom. His leg gave up as soon as he closed his bedroom door. He placed his back against the door, before burying his face in his leg. The fresh tear starts to flow again, wetting his already wet cheeks.

Kibum ignored the constantly knocking on his door and his parent worried voice. He was sorry for behaving like this towards his parent, but he didn’t have any strength left to explain. He wanted to be alone.

He wished that he would disappear; if he could he would do that. He’s sure as hell his parent wanted to hear everything in detail without leaving anything unsaid. He didn’t have enough energy to recall those painful memories of him. He wasn’t sure if he could tell them without being a crying baby. His baby keeps moving, which caused him a little discomfort. He knew his baby didn’t want him to cry, but everything is too painful for him to let everything go without crying.

“Hey, easy…I’m just a little upset, but I’m okay now that you’re here with me” Kibum said while caressing his little bump.

Kibum is thankful to have his baby here with him. If he wasn’t pregnant, he was sure he could lose all of his sanity after all the awful thing he had to face. He hasn’t yet calmed down from the shock of being kidnapped, and now Jonghyun being an saying that he was faking everything. It was normal for a normal people to lose their sanity after all that .

 But Kibum wasn’t weak. He is not going to be weak. He had to fight for himself and his future baby. Kibum is determined to build a new life with his baby. He didn’t want to fall in love ever again. What’s the use of being in love, when he’ll be the one who will hurt the most? He will forget Jonghyun. He didn’t need that kind of douche to be the father of his child. He could be a father and a mother to his child all by himself. He didn’t need anyone else, only his baby.

---

After two hours waiting in front of his son’s door, hoping he would came out and explains the whole thing to him. Soohyun called his maid a bit louder then he intended to.

“Get the key” Soohyun instructed as soon as he saw his maid. With a little nod the maid instantly walked away as her master instructed her to.

Soohyun knew that his son wanted to be alone, but the younger didn’t make any sound to let his father knew that he is okay. If his son wasn’t pregnant he wouldn’t worried this much, but he is very much pregnant. It didn’t help him to calm himself down knowing that his son had a risky pregnancy.

After a little while, the maid earlier came back with the spare key of the younger master’s room.  Wanting to respect his son’s wish, Soohyun knocked the door once again before he use the spare key. When the silence was all he got, he inserted the key and opened the door, only to find his son lying lifelessly on the floor.

“Oh My God! Bummie!” he shouted before rushing in to get to his son.

Soohyun heart dropped as he saw the white floor is covered with red stain right exactly on where his son had fainted. His hands were shaking so badly seeing the blood. He scooped up his son into his arm before rushing to the car.

Please Bummie, Hang in there…

“Why was he’s bleeding? Yeobo! Please save him!” Yeon U shouted while crying ever so desperately, before losing her consciousness.

---

It took only 30 minutes for everyone to arrive at hospital upon hearing the news. Yes, everyone except Jonghyun. Taemin had called him over 10 times, but the older didn’t reply to any of his messages and calls.

But little did everyone know that Jonghyun already arrived at the hospital, but he keep himself hidden from everyone. Jonghyun immediately rushed to the hospital as soon as he received the first message from Taemin telling that Kibum fainted. Jonghyun couldn’t help but to blame himself for this, but he couldn’t do anything to fix this mess. How would he fix it, when Kibum’s life is on the line?

Jonghyun silently praying that his Bummie and his baby are okay. He will never forgive himself if anything happen to both of them. Everyone who are waiting for Kibum in front of the Emergency Room, also silently prayed for Kibum and his baby safety. The next 15 minutes were spent in silence, waiting for the doctor to come out from the ER and tell them everything is okay.

As soon as the doctor came out from the ER, everyone stands up simultaneously as if on cue, while Jonghyun who still hidden behind the white wall almost revealed himself, but he quickly hide himself once again as he started to regain his conscience back.

Dr.Jung expression was not good. Jonghyun could tell by the sorrowful look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, but he is weak and so do his baby. It was a close call. If you came here a bit later, the baby won’t survive. The baby barely holding onto Kibum and it’s not good. If he bled like this once again, I’m afraid that we had to remove the baby. Things like today weren’t suppose to happen. Kibum’s blood pressure is higher than it suppose to be.”

Dr.Jung stopped for a moment while his eyes searching for one person, the one that Kibum needed the most at this very moment.

“Where is Jonghyun? At this crucial time, Kibum would need support from his husband” Dr.Jung continued as he didn’t saw the husband of his patient.

I’m here, Please save Kibum and my baby.

Jonghyun is crying like the world will ends tomorrow after hearing Dr.Jung’s explanation. He hates himself. He hates himself so much right at this moment.

“As I said before, Kibum’s pregnancy wasn’t the same as women. His pregnancy is a high-risk pregnancy. If anything goes wrong, we might lose him and also his baby. I hate to tell you this, but I couldn’t lie. Kibum condition is not good.”

Soohyun stared at the doctor without blinking, so do Sangwook. They was about to lose Kibum and their future grandchild because of an unknown reason. Their lips are moving but no sound comes through it.

“C-can we see h-him?” Yesul managed to stutter out in her tears. It took everything in her to prevent herself from fainting after hearing the hard truth about her son-in-law condition.

“I’m sorry, but he was asleep just now. He thought he had lost his baby and he gave us a little hard time to calm him down. He kept begging us to save his baby. I think it’s better for him to sleep for awhile.”

Dr.Jung walked away as he finished his explanation.

Sangwook once again called his son, and if Jonghyun didn’t pick up either. He swears his son won’t get away with this easily, surprisingly Jonghyun pick it up after one ring.

“WHERE ARE YOU!” Sangwook couldn’t care less of those people staring at him as if he had grown second head. Soohyun grab his friends hand to calm the latter, but Sangwook beyond furious at Jonghyun this time.

“I’m here…”

Jonghyun finally came out from his hideout, but he made it look like as if he was just arrived at there.

Sangwook was about to throw a punch against Jonghyun’s face, but someone beat him to it. His mouth left hanging open as he saw the person who slapped his son, which was none other than his wife. Yesul never lays a finger on Jonghyun no matter how wrong the younger was, but today was a different story.

“Mom…” It came out hoarse and weak from Jonghyun. 

“Kibum almost lost his baby…what did you do to him?” Yesul grabs her son’s shirt while hitting the younger broad chest.

Jonghyun ignored the sting in his heart, knowing that his mother was disappointed in him.

I’m sorry, but I had to this…I’m so sorry mom…

 “I wanted to divorce him, because I love-” Before he could even finished, a strong punch were thrown against his face. This time it came from Minho.

Of course Minho would do that because he knew the next words Jonghyun tried to say. How could Jonghyun even think to utter the ’s name when Kibum is in the ward fighting by himself to stay alive.

“Get out from here” was all Soohyun could utter in that moment. Everything was his fault, if he didn’t force Kibum to marry Jonghyun. Kibum would be fine now.

“Could I see Kibum for the last time?” asking the question that certainly didn’t suitable at the moment. He just said that he wanted to divorce Kibum, but now he wanted to meet him? No way in hell Soohyun would say yes to this.

“5 minutes” Said Soohyun. In that instant, everyone in the waiting room shift their eyes towards Soohyun, giving him the same are-you-kidding-look to Soohyun.

Jonghyun quietly nodded and walked past through his parents, who were giving him the same disappointed look. He closed his eyes, hiding the slight tears pooling in his eyes.

---

Jonghyun’s heart broke into thousand pieces seeing Kibum’s pale face and all those wire attached against the younger’s body. Kibum won’t be awake anytime soon since he had been sedated, as Dr.Jung said. Jonghyun took the opportunity to caress the younger pale face, carefully and lovingly before shifting his hands towards the younger’s little bump.

“Baby…thank you for staying. Please be strong and always be with your Umma. I’m sorry; I can’t be with both of you…Please don’t ever forgive your foolish Appa. I love both of you with all my heart.”

The tears that he’s been hiding since his mother decided to slap him, starts to make their own way against his cheeks

Jonghyun wanted to be with Kibum…He didn’t want to leave Kibum and his baby girl, which he’d been dreaming about her for quite awhile, but he didn’t even have a chance to tell Kibum about his dream…but he knew by heart that their baby is going to be a beautiful and cute little girl.

Wiping his tears away, Jonghyun walked away while bringing his broken heart to anywhere his feet wished to go.

---

After a few hours, Kibum starts to regain his conscious back and his hands instantly searching for the little bump on his lower stomach. He let out a relief smile as he could feel that his baby is still there with him.

“Look, Bummie Hyung is awake…”

“Call the doctor”

Kibum smiled as he heard the usual bubbly voice of Taemin and his father worried voice. He could recognize all the face in his ward and till this very moment, he was hoping to see Jonghyun there. But he wasn’t. Jonghyun isn’t there.

“Kibum…please don’t stress yourself too much. Think only of your child. We couldn’t let you bled once again.” Dr.Jung is seriously concerned about Kibum. His days after this won’t be pretty. As soon as he entered his 5^th month, his leg would be swollen often and his skin will hurt a lot because of the baby growth.

“I know…” Kibum lowered his head in shame. He was a bad Umma. He almost lost his child because he was too caught up in his sadness.

“Dad…I want to stay at grandma house until the baby is born and I will take my baby to the States with me…” Before he fainted, he had made his decision to move on. In order to make that happen, he need to be far away from Seoul.

“I understand” Soohyun said with sadness lacing his voice. He wanted to be with his son and his future grandchildren, but he knew why Kibum made this decision.

Kibum had expected that his father will flip out after hearing his intention, but the older act the exact opposite from what he’d expect.

“Jonghyun came and told us…” Soohyun answered an unasked question with his head lowered in shame. How can he face his son when all of this happen was definitely his fault. If only he didn’t ask Kibum to get married with Jonghyun, the younger wouldn’t have to suffer like this.

“Dad, this is not your fault…Everything is my fault. I knew he loves Jessica yet I decided to marry him. I brought this onto myself. You haven’t done anything wrong. Please don’t make that face. Please, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s not good for my baby.”

It broke Kibum’s heart to see his father blaming himself like this.

“I’m sorry, Bummie…” Was all his father said, before he wraps his arms around Kibum and put the younger in his arm.

Kibum smiled through the hug before he wraps his hands around his father’s waist. He is not going to be weak. He had to be strong for his baby.

“Bummie…”

Kibum lift his head a bit, to face the owner of the voice. He gave the older a little smile, before releasing his hands from his father waist. Soohyun turns around only to find his friend and his wife kneeling besides Kibum’s bed.

“Appa, Umma…Please stand up if you didn’t want to upset me…” like a robot, the two of them instantly stands as soon as the younger uttered that words.

Kibum hold out both of his hands for Sangwook and Yesul to grab, which they did simultaneously. The younger squeeze gently his parents-in-law hands, assuring them that he was okay. Kibum ignored the sting in his heart, seeing how Sangwook and Yesul act like they were the reason he stuck in this hospital.

“Umma, Appa…Whatever happens between me and Jonghyun, couldn’t change the fact that my baby is your grandchildren. I want my baby to know her grandparents. Don’t blame yourselves on what had happen. Jonghyun and I were not meant to be together.” Kibum wipes the tears that threatening to fall, before giving his parent-in-law a big smile.

“Oh, Bummie” Yesul lunged towards the younger before engulfing him in her arms. She is crying so hard, knowing what the younger was feeling at this moment.

“Bummie…Are you alright? The baby?”

Kibum smiled hearing his mother worried voice. He could tell that she was just finished crying her eyes out.

“Mom…I’m okay, so do the baby. We’re fine” Kibum assured his mother with a big smile.

Even though his heart is beyond repaired, Kibum tried so hard to ignore how broken he is at this moment. He couldn’t show his true feeling. If he did, surely his parents and Jonghyun’s parents will blame themselves on this. He didn’t want that. They didn’t do anything wrong.

He couldn’t bear to see his loved one, punishing themselves on someone else’s mistake. He wouldn’t allow it. If he didn’t love Jonghyun, surely he wouldn’t felt so broken hearted like this. Everything was entirely his fault, but he couldn’t say he regretted marrying Jonghyun. If he didn’t get married with Jonghyun, He wouldn’t be pregnant now. He’s not going to think that this child is a mistake. He loves his baby. That is for sure.

---

“I can’t believe it…Jonghyun Hyung wouldn’t do that. I saw the way he look at Bummie Hyung” Taemin whispered to no one in a particular, but Minho heard it.

“I don’t know Tae, but he’d been with Jessica for 5 years. 5 years is long enough to make him act like this” Minho stated, obviously disappointed in his older friend.

Taemin was about to argue, but he decided to go against it. He didn’t have any prove to say Jonghyun is pretending, but he knew Jonghyun is definitely hiding something from them. If Jonghyun didn’t love Kibum, why would the older sent him that message. Jonghyun was obviously worried about Kibum, but why did he lied?

Taemin glanced over his brother, who looked like in a deep thought. He was surprised that Jinki didn’t lay his finger against Jonghyun. Taemin knew how much his brother care about Kibum. The love of his brother towards his cousin was strong enough to make the older kill anyone that dared to hurt Kibum

Just as Taemin thought, Jinki could saw that Jonghyun was acting strange. He saw how Jonghyun look at Kibum. He was there when Kibum is harassed by Dongwoon at their wedding party. Jonghyun is obviously in love with Kibum and Jonghyun’s eyes, when he confessed about divorcing Kibum was gloomy.

Everyone was worried about Kibum to notice the gloomy look that Jonghyun had…but as usual, it didn’t go unnoticed by Jinki.

---

“Master, is master Kibum is alright?” asked one of the housemaid, as soon as he arrived at the house.

“He’s okay…” Jonghyun voice came out really weak and hoarse.

“Master, are you alright?”

“No…Listen, from today onwards…All of you didn’t have to came here again. I’m sorry…” Jonghyun thought that would be no use for the maids to keep being there. Kibum is not going to come back and he was sure he will be kicked out from this house soon.

“B-but why sir?” Asked the maid…

“I’m moving out and please, leave me alone.” Jonghyun is sorry towards his maid, for firing them without any reason. He was sure they would have to leave soon, since he will be chased out from that house.

The housemaids quickly left their master as they instructed to.

Jonghyun leg gave up the moment he steps into their used-to-be bedroom. Everything in there, remind him of Kibum. He miss the younger. He wanted to hold Kibum and never let him go ever again. But everything was ruined. His life is ruined to the max.

“Bummie…I love you” Jonghyun whispered in his tears. Silently hoping the wind would blow away his voice, so that the younger could hear it.

---

“From today onwards, you’re no longer my son. Everything that belonged to you when you were my son, will be taken.”

Those harsh words were thrown to Jonghyun like a bullet that went through his heart. Jonghyun already prepared himself for this kind of treatment. He deserved it. Kibum almost lost their baby because of him. He didn’t even sure if this punishment is enough compared to what Kibum had gone through.

He hates himself so much that he wished somebody could take his life away. His existence is nothing but a nuisance to others.

“I understand” was all Jonghyun replied, before walking out from his used to be house without taking anything; except for Kibum’s photo and his child photo.

Jonghyun is well aware that he didn’t deserve to keep their photo, but he didn’t want anything except for the photo. If Kibum and his baby couldn’t be with him, he wants to at least have their photo. Was it too much for him to ask?

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A/N : Here it is Guys...

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