What she Wants - Chapter 13

by ~Takasumi-Airi

Chapter 13

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Bringggg! Bring! Bring! 

Sounds of the phone being picked up can be heard; we shift to the scene where Sang-Nim is sitting on her bed, long wavy hair up in a side ponytail, dressed in a striped black-white shirt and pink pj bottoms. She picks up her cellphone and brings it to her ear.

Sang-Nim: 여보세요?

(Donghae's voice can be heard on the other line) 

Donghae: Ah, Sang-Nim.

Sang-Nim: Donghae, oppa! 

(She has a surprised look on her face)

She puts the phone on speaker mode then wanders off out of the room. Shortly, she pushes herself back into the room with a comb in hand. She unties her ponytail then sits down on her bed beside the phone and starts brushing her hair. 

Sang-Nim: So, what's up oppa?

There was a pause of silence then some shuffling. 

Donghae: Nothing, playing Starcraft. Kyuhyun was trying to teach me but then he gave up and abandoned me. 

She giggled a little. 

Sang-Nim: That's Kyuyhyun oppa for you. He wants to make sure you don't learn all his secrets. 

Then she burst out laughing for a bit on her own, the peals of laughter resounding in that empty house. It was late at night and Sang-Nim was just about to go to bed when Donghae decided to call her. 

Donghae: So, how's night class?

Sang-Nim: Aiya, you have no idea. Chinese is actually harder than I thought. But I like it. Maybe I can ask you some questions when you come back? 

He blows a raspberry.

Donghae: No thanks, I'm actually horrible at Chinese. Ask Hangeng or Henry… maybe Kyuhyun or Ryeowook. They're way better than me.

At this point, Sang-Nim was giggling at everything Donghae was saying. 

Sang-Nim: Awww… that's too bad. Don't put yourself down like that too much. 

She makes an invisible poke in the air in front of her and pouts while thinking, 'You're not too much help oppa are you? What happened to 'I'll help you if you ever have any problems'?' She sighed a little and decided that he was just being childish, another trait she happened to like about him. But sometimes, it was a little infuriating seeing as he was older than her, her sunbae, he could at least try to be a little bit helpful. And since he was in Super Junior-M, it would be a great opportunity to get some help from a fellow Korean who is also slightly familiar with the language. 

Sang-Nim: You know that I want to major in Languages when I go to university. Won't you at least tell me a little bit about your experiences in Europe?

They ended up having a really good discussion until it was late at night. They bowled through a series of topics until Sang-Nim couldn't help but tease.

Sang-Nim: Do you like anyone oppa? 

Another pause of silence until she heard him breathe out again. 

Donghae: Yes, but I don't know if I love this girl 100%...

Sang-Nim held her breath, somehow able to voice out the question she had forbidden herself to ask. 

Sang-Nim: Is she somebody close to you? Anybody I know? If so, maybe I can help. 

She emphasized her playful tone a little more. 

Sang-Nim: Come on oppa, tell me.

She pressed on.

Sang-Nim: Pinky promise I won't tell. 

A moment of silence passed and somehow, her mind wandered to the pretty girl Jessica that she had seen in the studio that day when she came back. She pictured him hesitating, wanting to yet unwilling to tell her what he was feeling. Out of the blue in almost a whisper, he said:

"You."

It was impossible to describe what was holding her back from feeling what could have been joy or her own overflowing feelings for him. Instead, she simply felt … nothing, washed from any emotions. For a moment, the silent disease passed over her. Finally, she said in a small voice:

"Really?"

"Yeah."

She rolled around happily in her bed then recovered. All that showed her happiness was a little squeak.

Sang-Nim: I've never been confessed to before. This is a first for me. 

She couldn't help but and received a small chuckle from the other end. The next things that Donghae said were followed by the ever present tone of uncertainty and the pauses to catch his breath, as if trying hard not to cry. 

Donghae: So now…. You know why I've been doing so much for you. When you left for England, it was a very long time for me. I tried to put myself into my work and focus more. Then for a certain time, I could almost convince myself that I had gotten over you. But when you came back, on the day you visited the studio again, I realized… I realized that I've been lying to myself. Sang-Nim, you're an important person to me and I don't want to lose you.

Sang-Nim felt nothing for some reason. Somehow, she was coping with all this as it rolled past her. This rollercoaster of emotions had brainwashed her leaving her unable to decide what to feel. Meanwhile, his words continued on:

Donghae: And because you are in your important year of school, I don't want to start anything that might distract you…

He was silent again. 

Donghae: I know that Super Junior are your friends too but some might not approve of me dating you. And plus, your family as well. I don't know how they will react to this news – 

"You forgot about your fans oppa."

Cut in Sang-Nim, calm and understanding for some reason she herself could not fathom. 

Donghae: Yeah… them too.

She heard him gently sigh over the line and she immediately saw his sad-happy smile even though he wasn't physically in front of her. 

" Well, if you want, we can talk about this when I get into university,"

Her offer had an immediate effect on the other. 

"You're willing to wait?" he asked. 

"Well only if you are… hey dummy, did you know that I cried a lot over you?" 

Her tone was still wavering between caution and playfulness. She didn't want to break their newfound relationship yet she wanted to make things clear, without being too harsh. 

"Why?"

Sang-Nim was caught off guard by his reply; but what else had she expected him to say? 

"Let's just say that I'm a very jealous and paranoid person." 

She turned around to avoid his gaze as if he was really standing in front of her. That was when she noticed the time on her clock. Aish…. It was 2AM already! And she had school tomorrow! Unknowingly, she had engaged herself in a three-hour long conversation with him. 

"It's getting late oppa. You should get some rest," she said despite being reluctant to turn in. "Surprisingly, I'm not tired.'

"Neither am I," he admitted. "I don't think I'll ever be able to hang up on you. You'll have to do it." 

Sang-Nim smirked, her oppa's childish-ness showing again. 

"Okay then, you better go to sleep after this. Or I'll get really angry at you," she scolded him playfully. 

She was about to hang up when she heard his voice again. 

"Wait, I can't go until I hear you say that." 

"What?" she asked, her playfulness catching a bit of annoyance, partly from fatigue that started creeping on her. 

"That you like me." 

Now she was all smiles, despite getting sleepier by the second. 

"Lee Donghae, you are a very special person to me and I like you very much. Now please go to bed." 

He chuckled, a sound that made her instantly feel very relieved. 

"Alright, good night little Sang-Nim." 

She hung up and flopped back against her pillow. For awhile longer, she stayed awake, replaying their conversation over and over in her head. 

Donghae on the other hand had hung up after her, smiled at the phone then got up, satisfied and went to bed.