What she Wants - Chapter 12
by ~Takasumi-AiriChapter 12
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He beat them all. Of course he would. Even the media had dubbed him a professional gamer. He had wanted to be one, like Jae Hwa 'Gamer' who had reached that level at 19 and even won an award for the achievement. Those with hidden talents got scouted by companies and big firms. But a singing scout had got to him before any game scout could. Now that he was in the entertainment business, he could hardly find time to do the things he wanted. But still, without this opportunity, he wouldn't have met Super Junior and he wouldn't have been the celeb he was today.
The day was slow today. The afternoon was wasted on video games yet he still had plenty of time till dinner. What could he do then? He decided to send a quick email to Donghae.
"Annyeong haseyo hyung,
Where are you right now?
We all miss you, especially Sang-Nim.
When are you coming back?"
…
He started typing then stopped. Why was he the one to write this? He wondered if he should leave this task to Sang-Nim. He debated over his two options before finally hitting 'send'. Then he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. If he couldn't even do such a simple thing, how could he call himself a man? But that didn't help suppressing his guilt feelings.
Ding!
All of a sudden, a chat window opened up. He hadn't realized that he had left the program on. His heart picked up a few beats when he saw who the user was: Sang-Nim. Out of habit, he directed the mouse and was about to click on the window when his hand hesitated. So what was he suppose to say to Sang-Nim? Were they still normal friends or was there suppose to be a difference now?
Finally, he decided to answer:
KyuGamer: Hey little Sang-Nim. What's up?
Gongju-Nim: Hey oppa
Um….
Oh shoot, umma is calling me.
TTYL. T______T
KyuGamer: Bye bye
Gongju-Nim has signed out.
Well wasn't that a short conversation. But just by her brief words, Kyuhyun could tell that Sang-Nim was as nervous as he was. He bet that the excuse about her Mother was fake. He didn't blame her; what was he supposed to say to her? Were they still normal friends? Or was there suppose to be a difference now? He groaned and shook his head. Maybe he should have a talk in person with his dongsaeng sometime.
Sang-Nim was at home, in front of her computer. She couldn't believe that she had said that to Kyuhyun oppa. Burying her head in her hands, she scrolled over their recent chat history a few times absentmindedly then started sulking a little. She felt bad, she was being so selfish. Everybody knew that she liked Donghae, and she still did but…
That syllable again. But now that he was gone, Sang-Nim felt lonely again. She started to doubt if she really liked him more than an oppa. In fact, she started wondering if Donghae even liked her. Was this all done out of pity? Of responsibility? Of trying to be a good oppa to her? Were he feelings all one-sided?
Originally, she had intended to not tell Kyuhyun, not even anyone about her troubling feelings but instead, she had gone and betrayed herself. Now she wondered if she was hurting someone. She was certainly hurting herself and her relationships with the two boys. Maybe what Sang-Nim forgot was that they weren't boys anymore. They were men and she was toying with their feelings. She didn't feel so well so she slumped and fell asleep at the keyboard.
Unlike Sang-Nim, Ryeowook couldn't sleep. It was getting dark and he hadn't eaten. He hadn't had the stomach to eat that night. He knew that he should graciously accept this defeat but he wasn't so ready to give up so quickly. All his life, he had given himself up for others. He didn't want to be selfish but now, he realized that if he continued like this, he would be a coward. He would never be able to find his own happiness nor fight for it. But now, what should he do? Would he follow this new creed or leave it to be effective next time?
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