Life / Key
SHINee Songfic Oneshots
*I suggest you to play 'Life' on your iPod on repeat while reading this.
Written in Suhyeon's POV & Key's POV Watch the vid with english translation
{LIFE}
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"Eomma, tell me, does true love exist?"
---
In this world... Let me only love you.
I carefully placed my hand on his wounded cheek,
"Your stepfather probably didn't know that he had a son like you, a son that every parent would wish for,"
his stepfather beat him up again, the sight of his lousy body and wounded cheek make me feel I should protect him more.
His smile was faint, he then hugged me, saying
"Just when I thought nobody cares about me, you came. You gave me your care, your time,
your efforts and your love. But sadly, I can't give it all back," I felt my eyes getting watery by second.
He paused, he leaned and rest his chin on my shoulder,
"I won't be able to give it back," he started to sniff,
"Let's end this, Suhyeon. You deserve someone better.
Someone who can give everything to you, not me. I can't give you the future you're dreaming of, I'm sorry.
I want you to be happy with someone who truly cares for you," Key pulled me closer, just to hug me tighter.
"I love you." I reminded him, my tears started to fall with not much problem now,
"I'll be watching you from afar,"
"I'm happy being with you, Key. Don't say nonsense," I cried silently,
as I still try not to cry hard enough. He rest his hand on my back, gently carressing it.
"Tomorrow would be a different day, Suhyeon.
You don't know me, you won't care about me, we don't know each other anymore.
All the feelings would be gone, all gone. You had no choice but to accept it."
He firmly stated, looking at me with those eyes.
I stared onto it until his teardrops started to fall faster, once I'm into his pace,
I found myself hugging him; like, not letting go.
But after the night ends and tomorrow came, I guess, I need to let go.
"Thank you for sharing two years with me, loving me in those years we've spent together, Kim Kibum,"
my lips quivered, it's hard to accept the reality he wanted.
He shook his head, giving me a small smile,
"No, I must be the one to thank you for bearing two years with some delinquent named Kim Kibum.
I finally knew what falling inlove feels like, Thank you."
Oh, when this passing life withers away...
You came to me.
The moment I touched your frozen heart, my life begins.
He put an earphone to my ear, the other on his.
He held my waist as we waltzed together in the rhythm of the melancholic song, our bodies swaying; just lightly.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, thinking that this'll be the last time.
A heavy silence filled the air,
"Are those two years going to waste?"
I asked, finally breaking the barrier of silence between us, eyes glued on the cold cement floor.
"No," He shook his head, he grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest,
"They're going to stay here," my hand stayed there, with his hand hovering mine.
I felt the urge of crying harder because of his heartbeat - it was beating with mine, in sync.
The moonlight was bright, it was dark and cold, everthing seems to be dull. And so my heart.
"This'll be the last... Let's savour every second of it, Suhyeon-ah," Key planted a soft peck on my lips,
Knowing that I'm not able to get grasp of him anymore, I held him even tighter,
"I love you, Key," I reminded him again, tears falling freely.
His soft lips met mine again, one last time.
When you're tired and having a hard time,
Please let me stay by your side,
So I can give back to you the love I had only received,
Before this life ends.
"Go," I instructed, she unclasp her hand with mine.
Loneliness filled my entire being. She started to walk slowly, her back facing me.
She sure was crying, I can see both of her hands on her face.
She would glance at me from time to time, until she stopped.
She stopped walking.
She ran to my place, throwing both of her hands around me.
I greatfully caught and carry her.
She cupped my face using both of her hands, "Always take care of yourself, Key."
I nodded, as our eyes went to meet each other.
I'm going to miss those eyes.
Her slow breathing tickled my lips, she then pulled me for a kiss.
And she slowly pace her way back home.
When I can no longer see a glimpse of her, my feet found their way.
I turned the rusty doorknob and found no one. No one's home, again.
I went to my room and locked the door behind me.
I went to see myself on the mirror.
I can still see my tear-covered face, my eyes were gone red.
It doesn't seems like I still have some voice.
I wanted to cry out loud but I already cried all the tears inside me.
I removed my hat causing strands of hair to fall. I carefully touched my hair,
I slightly grabbed some and saw them on my hand, all of my hair abandoning my body, little by little.
This was the reason.
The reason of leaving her because I can't stand seeing her much hurt than I am.
When I get on my knees and cry before the world..
When I stop my tracks inside the storm..
If you alone are standing,
I can handle this much pain and suffering.
(If only you) If only you
(Are with me) Are with me, in my life.
I thought it was just normal.
I started to feel dizzy, the world seems to be spinning around.
I started to feel weak, I tend to eat not that much than the way I used to. Headaches won't leave me.
I looked so pale and thought that I had severe hairfall.
Images started to blur, and soon words don't really register anymore.
And I started to doubt if it's really normal.
I went to see a doctor, and I myself can't believe what's really happening to me.
"Kibum, as you can see there's this cease inside your head, in your brain particularly,"
the doctor said as he shows me some x-rays, he told everything to me, one by one.
The cause, the place of it, how to cope in my condition and much worse - how long I can still live.
It was such a heartbreak, I thought everything was so in place, was perfect.
I thought that even though I had an abusive stepfather and a mother who doesn't cares about me,
I can still go on with my life because I have her, I have Suhyeon.
But now, all I see the blurred happy ending.
The pain of reality that I won't be there to wipe Suhyeon's tears anymore.
Together, even with your grief.. Give it all to me.
After going to the doctor for another check-up,
I went to the bench near the tree which was just few steps away from our school.
The tree was still there, I smiled as my fingers traced our carved writings on that tree.
I walked around to see how many trees we've put our hearts on.
One, two, three...
I started to count them one by one. I can't be sad anymore. The tears I'm going to shed are just from pure happiness.
The happiness that came from Suhyeon, our love, our memories.
No more heartbreaks, everything reminds me of her will be my hope,
my inspiration to live my life, wearing a bright smile on my face.
...Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three...
At first, I didn't really know what happiness was. Then she tapped my shoulders.
That girl with bright eyes, she had a pretty straight hair with curls on the end,
always wearing her best smile - Suhyeon.
...Twenty-four and... Twenty-five.
There were a total of Twenty-five trees with 'Key <3 Suhyeon together forever' on it.
I went home with a smile.
But that smile faded away when my stepfather greeted me with a heavy punch on my right cheek,
causing it to swell. He smells like alcohol again. I don't like what will happen next.
When I lose my way inside the dark forest,
When my young soul is crying..
Guide me like a light, like a miracle,
Before this life ends.
After a year, my mother finally knew my condition and decided to believe in me.
She always thought that I do irrelevant things at school,
a reason to get bruises and wounds all over my body.
She finally broke up with my stepfather and decided to take care of me,
I'm really thankful for it, hundred times.
I've been writing down all the things I prepared for Suhyeon's 20th birthday,
thinking that she'll be able to read it all. And I put a ring on a pretty tiny box. I hope that she'll like it.
"Kibum-ah, the kids are already on the ground floor!"
My mother called, I pulled the hospital curtains up,
and saw the kids waving to me with a smile plastered on their faces.
I waved back, I fixed the bandana on my head to cover my hairless head.
My mother helped me to go downstairs, carrying assorted candies and chocolates.
"Merry Christmas, children!" I beamed, causing all of them to cheer up.
I've always liked kids, and these kids were special. They were orphans from the other city.
I smiled as I breathe in the scent of the real world, wishing to see Suhyeon before Christmas next year.
When I get on my knees and cry before the world..
When I stop my tracks inside the storm..
If you alone are standing,
I can suppress whatever pain and tears.
Is it wrong to stay inlove with Key? It was a one-sided feeling, a feeling that can't be returned.
Yet, I still want to be with him.
Is he okay? Is he eating well? I felt like more than a mother than a girlfriend.
I've always like to take care of Key, he gets lonely easily.
He has such a pure heart, one time when we were walking, even his stomach was grumbling,
he gave his food to a child beggar. He said that if there would be a chance,
he would take care of children in orphanage or children that is suffering from cancer.
So here I am, fulfilling something he'd like to do in an orphange, taking care of these children.
"Noona, noona! We're from Songjin Hospital and a kind patient gave us lots of sweets!"
Little Taemin exclaimed, showing the candies he got.
"Did you thank him?" I asked, smiling.
"Of course! Look! We even took a picture with him!" he said, showing me a photopaper,
My eyes instantly found the kind man he was talking about.
I did not know what happened to me, I was rushing and crying at the same time.
I just found myself in front of a hospital room, ready to knock.
Because anytime soon, I'm going to see the man I've been dying to see. Key.
(All I want is you) All I want is you.
(Only one is you) Only one is you, in my life.
The door opened and I walked in abruptly, not caring if I knocked someone off.
I instantly went to hug him, wiping my tears visciously as I held him in my arms.
No words are coming out, I want to say how I've been looking for him everywhere,
how I miss his lonely eyes and his perfectly carved lips,
or how much I want to remind him how much I love him.
He was pale. He was thin.
He didn't have any hair and I can't see his perfect eyebrow anymore.
I just found myself grabbing him, he look so helpless and fragile.
And finally, I felt him hug me back.
The feeling of longingness and belongingness. I can feel it now.
I won’t cry. I won’t cry again.
Absolutely nothing can stop me,
But only one person.
My dream. It came true. Suhyeon. She was here.
I place my hands over her ears and tip her head back, and kiss her,
and try to put my heart into hers. For safe-keeping, in case I lose her again.
After some minutes of sobbing, sniffing and crying our hearts out, we've finally calmed down.
I made her sit on the bed next to me as I hold her hands.
"Are you happy?" Suhyeon asked, not even bothering to look at me, she sighed.
"I am, since you barged in to this room just to make my shoulder swell because of your tears."
I replied, gently tracing her palm with the tip of my finger.
"I love you." She looked at me,
"I love you too." I squeezed her hand, lightly.
She gave me a smile smile, "You replied,"
Her eyes were building some water, ready to fall anytime by now.
And it fell once again,
"You never said you love me before,"
She continued, wiping the tears by the other hand,
"Because it'll be better if I'll just put them into efforts,"
I reached for her cheek to wipe her tears, she started to hiccup.
"I'll be taking care of you from now on."
She declared, standing up and helping me to sit on the bed.
When she was about to get a glass of water, I stopped her by holding her hand.
"No, you can't. I can't owe you much of my life,"
She smiled, showing me her white pearls,
"Let me be. I'm not just doing this for you, but for both of us, and for your mother."
You make me, you perfect me.
Oh, you make me able to breath like this.
"What's the date today?" asked Key, who was sitting on his bed, reading a book.
"It's 28th, March." I replied, watering the daisies near the window.
"You're taking care of me for three months now... Don't you get tired?"
"No, when it comes to you, I won't." I smiled, sitting next to him.
He smiled back, "Thank you," I just shook my head.
"That kid from yesterday... He was cheerful."
He browse through the pages of his book, wearing the same expression.
"I've always wanted to have a child like him." Key continued, he closed his book and looked at me.
"It's... It's not too late Key," I said with no hesistation, he kissed me fully on the lips,
"Are... Are you sure?"
He asked, his face showing how worried and concerned he was.
I just bobbed my head.
When I get on my knees and cry before the world,
When I stop my tracks inside the storm,
If you alone are standing,
I can handle this much pain and suffering.
(If only you) If only you
(Are with me) Are with me
Key's mom asked me to buy some groceries.
So here I am, making my way to the grocery store.
When I got the ingredients for Key's favorite homemade cookies made by me,
and the things Key's mom asked me, I walked happilly to the church to
remind the priest to go to the hospital the next day.
Yes, there will be a wedding.
I was about to open the church door when my phone beeped continuesly.
I saw the name of Key's mother on the caller ID.
Picking it up, my heartbeat went faster, as if I've gone to a marathon.
"Yes, eommonim?"
She was crying, "Suhyeon-ah, come here! Kibum is asking for you, come here quickly!"
The voice on the other line said, almost yelling.
Worried, I dropped all the grocery bags from my hands and run faster as I can,
there was something wrong.
When I finally reached the hospital, the doctors as well as the nurses are coming in and out of Key's room.
Not even realizing that my other shoe was gone,
I went inside Key's room and found some doctors yelling to each other,
they were injecting chemicals to Key, who looked like just sleeping.
I quickly went to his side, shaking him, "Wake up, Key! Wake up!"
my tears started to fall, "Key!" I cried.
He slowly opened his eyes, he'd become paler than usual.
"You're here Suhyeon," he gave me a weak smile,
His eyelids dropping, he was still tring to open his eyes,
"Su-suhyeon... Pl-please, s-smile for m-me..."
I burst into tears, I tried to smile, the best smile I can give.
He reached for his mother's arm, "Eo-eomma, I-I think... I can go now,"
"No, Kibum, my son, no you can't..."
"Key, you can't! Hold on! How about the future? You can't! We have to get married! Key!"
I grabbed his hand, placing it to my heart.
He mouthed 'Saranghae' to before closing his eyes.
And I saw that horizontal line on the monitor,
that made me breakdown on my knees, is this real?
Is this really happening?
Someone, please wake me up.
No, I can't accept it.
He's gone.
When I get on my knees and cry before the world,
When I stop my tracks inside the storm,
If you alone are standing,
I can suppress my pain and tears.
'Now you are sitting on my chair, you were facing the window and you admire the nice weather.'
I was reading Key's letter, and he was right. I'm sitting on his favorite chair, and... It's raining.
'You actually looked outside the window but it's not a nice weather.
You're looking around my room - because it was tidy. It was raining while I'm writing this. Is it raining?'
Yes, it's raining Key.
'No? Suhyeon, I love you so much. Do you know it?'
I can feel it, Key.
'I was the happiest when I'm with you.
Everything - they fall in to place perfectly when you tapped my shoulders. I looked back and saw you.
On that windy day on the school rooftop, you offered me your sandwich that your mother made.
I declined, but you insist. It was my first time to eat a homemade sandwich. It was delicious.
And when you confessed to me, I felt like flying. Love - that's what you gave to me.
It's such a whole new experience. Thank you.'
I bit my lip, trying not to cry anymore, but as words sunk in to my mind,
my tears came running down to my cheeks.
'Sometimes, I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking of you. I overthink.
An inspiration. You're like that. When my gaze met yours, when your talking to me,
my heart bursts and it's started to pump faster, my hands become sweaty, my knees become weak,
there's butterflies on your stomach, that feeling. The feeling where you just want to throw your arms around that person
and frolic with them. Where you just want to hold them in your arms, not letting go. You gave me that feeling, Suhyeon.'
I continue reading his letter, as I imagine to hear his voice, saying those words to me.
'I saw hope. I thought I was worthless, you made me realize that I'm not. I felt loved - you took care of me,
you lend your time on me, you paid attention to me. You're the first one to do that, Suhyeon-ah,
Being with you - it was the best thing that happened to my life. I learned to smile, to open my heart.
You let me experience what True Love is, to have you as my wife, to kiss you in the pouring rain, to sleep under the stars,
to stand for something I believe in. Thank you so much, Suhyeon-ah, I love you, my wife.'
As I read the last piece of paper, I saw a tiny box with a pretty ribbon.
'The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.
Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and
in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons.
That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
Be strong, Suhyeon. I love you and our baby. - Key'
I opened the tiny box and saw a silver ring, his name was engraved inside it.
I wore it and it fit perfectly on my ring finger.
I wiped my tears, admiring the ring on my finger, carressing my big tummy,
"Baby boy, it's pretty right? Your appa gave this to me, be a good boy, arasso?"
(All I want is you) All I want is you.
(Only one is you) only one is you, in my life...
"Eomma, narrating you and appa's story was enough for me to understand what true love is,"
My 12-year-old baby boy said, hugging me from the back.
"I thought appa is a bad guy, for leaving you alone... I understand everything now, Eomma.
Please, let me see a picture of him," He'd been requesting that for the past 12 years.
I held his hand and lead him to the mirror.
Placing my hands on his shoulder, I smiled, "Can you see your appa now?"
"Mom..." He started to cry.
"You look like exactly your father, Kibum-ah."
AFTER YEAARS! TAEMINishi here~
Took me a while to put those color color kkkkk
This was requested by bentotales and KeysLocket
They both want Life with Key on it.
I've got a sad news, because me and EmanneArdeeSy are busy in school,
we're going to update like, once per week or once every two weeks >_<
I hope you like this one! Let us see some of your comments below~
Oh! A poll :)
I FORGOT TO SAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLAMING CHARISMA, CHOI MINHO! /THROWS CONFETTI
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