Throwback:

I need to know why I have so much pain in my head nowadays. Yes, I need to go to the hospital. Why I felt something bad in my heart. I’m scared.

“Minsoo hyung… where are you going?” today is supposed to be a break day for the six of us. The company gave us a break since it’s the exam day for both our maknae, Changjo and Ricky.

“im going out just for a while. I’ve something to do..”

“alright.. take care hyung..”

“yaaaa.. you too.. behave with your hyung at dorm ok. Don’t mess up.. bye”

“Bang Min Soo??” the nurse called out his name. He wear a mask because he don’t want anyone know who he is. Besides, he came alone. Not with their manager. Its trouble if something happen.

“doctor, please make this a secret only between us.. can you?”

“oh sure. Don’t worry.. I understand” the doctor give a sweet smile. she understand very well about the condition of an idol whose came to his hospital. Besides, this is not the first idol.

“but, what im telling you now, I don’t think you can keep it as secret forever. It’s a big one Minsoo..”

“what?? What is going on with me doctor??”

“you’re diagnosed brain cancer at stage 3. Its going to stage 4 soon if we don’t make any operation now.” She felt bad to tell it but she have too.

Minsoo trying to kept calm. So the bad feeling is true. I have a cancer. I will die soon. I know it.. I should know it earlier…

“if I do an operation, how much chance for me to be alive?” he knows it a stupid question. It’s a brain cancer Minsoo.. Brain!!

“I cant sure you about it. Its in stage 3 now Minsoo. I suggested you to make an operation as fast as we can. The chance maybe in 70%-30%..”

“but I cant make it now. I’ve a tour concert starting next  week. If I did the operation, the concert  have to be cancelled. What about the rest of my band. No I cant!”

“but Minsoo.. if you don’t make the operation, you will die in 6 or 7 month without the medicine and around 12 month to 14 month with the medicine..”

“its enough to end the tour…I will take the medicine.. give me the medicine…”

“but Minsooo….” She cant finished her words when Minsoo get out from the room.

End throwback

Its have been a year. Im still alive. Im still strong enough and the most important is I still can hide the sickness from the others. I have read the fact of brain cancer patient, they can longer the period of alive if they keep happy like an ordinary person. Don’t get too stress just live a life like I don’t have any sickness. However, I know that it will be ending soon. I will have my end. How long will I have to hang on with the medicine. I thinks that I need to tell my parent about this now. I don’t want to get a heart attack soon.

“L.Joe.. tell the others that I will go to my parent house now.the practice had ended.. take care on your way back dorm ok.. take care of the others.” Cap take his bag and move out. the others still in the changing room while only he and L.Joe had finished dress up and wait for the others.

Cap take a cab since his house was not so far from his dorms. On the way, he kept thinking on how he must say the secret to his parent. Bit  scared. I hope everything will be alright.

“everythings done?” the manager ask them before closed the van’s door.

“wait.. where’s Cap hyung?”

“oh, he take a cab because he want go back to his parent house. He said that he will back dorm tomorrow morning.”