I took out the guitar and began to practice. The chords were familiar and I quickly learned the notes. 

I glanced out in the hallway. Rara and Eun Mi were talking in the kitchen. Hana and Tae Ji were watching a concert video intensely, not for the songs but the dance steps. 

I snuck back into my room and picked up the guitar. I began strumming. 

I sang under my breath, trying to find the rhythm of the song. 

"Neujeun bam biga naeryeowa neol. Jeojeun gieok kkeute dwicheogyeo na."

My fingers moved naturally with the rhythm of the song and I could actually sing without tripping over the words. 

I was absorbed in the song. All I needed was another hour and I could have gotten it. 

Once I strummed the last few notes away, I thought I heard shuffling outside my door but I was still a little sleepy so I didn't think of it. When I'm sleepy, I'm delusional. 

I put the guitar away and went to sleep. I knew I would need it. 

oOo

I got up more easily the next morning and took the company issued car to work (learning from experience). 

My morning went by just like the day before. I had to visit CeCi magazine again (oh joy) to help organize a photo shoot and interview. The Manager usually does this but he gets uncomfortable surrounded by all the "girliness" as Wooyoung said. 

I, thankfully, wore a pair of nice jeans, wedges and a nice tee shirt that day, so the receptionist didn't look at me like I came from hell. In fact, I doubt she even recognized me.

"Hello, I'm the consultant for 2pm's photo shoot," I bowed to the receptionist although I really didn't want to. 

She got up, put on a big smile and bowed. I couldn't help but feel superior.

"Oh, hello," she said. "Please follow me."

I did. She lead me to this big meeting room that could accommodate at least thirty people with only three people in it (talk about a waste of space). They bowed at their seats and I bowed back. 

Two of them looked like supermodels while the third woman kind of looked like she belonged on the streets. Turned out that woman was a man and that man is a famous photographer that would be shooting 2pm. 

The photographer had a sort of crazed look in his eyes but apparently, he was good at his job. He dropped a heavy binder onto the table that made us jump. 

He began to flip through it dramatically. I took a seat next to one of the supermodel-editor ladies. 

Finally the photographer found the page and revealed it to us. 

Clowns. 

"I want to do a new concept for the boys, something they've never done before. Something unusual yet provocative," he explained, looking back and forth at us expectantly. 

I looked at the editors out of the corner of my eye and could see slight cringes twisting their beautiful faces. 

"This is definitely...unique," Editor One began after an awkward silence. "But...it doesn't seem to...uh..."

She obviously wanted to say that the idea was ridiculous and clowns are definitely not provocative but with some tact. 

Personally, I think clowns are weird. 

I quickly jumped in. "Could you give us a few examples of how they would have to give off a provocative feel? This concept is so unique and new, it's a bit difficult to get the right image."

The editors flashed me thankful looks and I could almost feel my head swelling with pride. I always did this to Minnie when she proposed a ridiculous idea. Usually, she couldn't come up with a comeback. 

The photographer paused, contemplating the concept. We leaned in, hoping he would come up with nothing. 

"You say, they are 'beastly idols' correct? I have a wonderful new concept!" The photographer ripped the clown page out from the binder and threw it over his shoulder. "They will portray animals!"

We all breathed sighs of relief. The editors tactfully manipulated the photographer's new 'beastly' concept into something feasible and idol-like. 

Finally, the meeting ended and the photographer skipped out, obviously excited with his new idea. 

Editor One dropped back down in her chair, exhausted after trying to convince that photographer to do at least something close to normal. 

Editor Two patted me on the back. "Thank you. I don't think our magazine would have lasted if we had 2pm as clowns."

I blushed. "Not a problem. I'm a fan of 2pm myself and seeing them dressed as the clown from It would have been terrifying."

They laughed and lead me out, saying good bye. 

I got into my car and could already feel the headache at the back of my eyes. That photographer was like a hyperactive child. He took way too much energy to handle. 

oOo

"Whoa, you don't look too good," Chansung said as he devoured a banana (typical). 

I plopped down onto the floor of their studio (very graceful). "You guys should be thanking me instead of insulting me."

I fake-glared at Chansung, who stopped mid bite of his precious banana.  

"Why?" Junho asked after taking a sip of water. 

"The photographer at CeCi wanted you to be clowns in his new concept," I said, kicking off my wedges. 

Junho almost did a spit take, Chansung choked on his banana, and the other stopped mid step. 

"Clowns?" Nichkhun said it like he was a little afraid of it. 

I nodded seriously. "Your new concept is 'beastly animals.'"

Taecyeon let out a breath. "We owe you one."

"Buy me food."

They cringed. I had a feeling they didn't have much spending money on hand. 

"Anyway," Junsu jumped in. "It's time for Hyun Ae's lesson."

I slowly got up and followed Junsu barefoot, with my wedges in hand. 

"You guys are broke right now, aren't you?" I said as we got into the recording studio. 

"We...spent our week's allowance on snacks," Junsu admitted. 

I snorted, trying to hold back a laugh. 

Junsu quickly changed the subject. I thought I saw his face get a little red. 

"Did you learn it on guitar?" 

I nodded. 

"Try singing now," Junsu encouraged me. 

I was excited to sing the song now. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. Here's my chance to show what I'm capable of. 

I sang. 

It was comfortable. It was what I was used to. 

Junsu listened quietly. I felt comfortable just singing with someone actually listening. Surprisingly, that didn't happen often even at my music school.

When I finished singing, Junsu looked up at the ceiling. 

I waited anxiously. 

"It was good, but something was missing," Junsu said. 

My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. 

"Hyun Ae," Junsu said abruptly. "Have you ever had your heart broken?"

I paused. 

I started slowly. "Not in the way I think you mean. My heart broke when my dad had a heart attack and when I couldn't come here to be a trainee for YG."

"What did you feel when your dad had the heart attack?" Junsu asked quietly. 

"I..." My voice cracked. I felt short of breath. "I...I can't."

"Hyun Ae, just try-"

"I can't!" I snapped. 

Junsu looked at me in surprise. 

I immediately regretted snapping at him. I quickly got up and did a ninety degree bow. Over and over again. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you," I said as I forced tears back. "I just can't think about it."

Junsu nodded. "Hyun Ae, it's okay. Please sit back down."

I did but I still felt uneasy. 

There was such an awkward silence, I cringed. 

Junsu was the first to talk. "I won't ask you to think about it again. I just want you to understand this song. What it means. Your dad's situation made you feel just like the song is supposed to make you feel."

I nodded slowly, not daring to look into his eyes. 

"You're voice was perfect," Junsu said. "You just need to tell the story of the song to me. Not sing it at me."

I nodded again. 

"JYP will be coming in next week," Junsu said suddenly. 

This time, I looked up in confusion. 

"I want you to sing this for him."

"This song?" I said quietly. 

Junsu nodded. "I think you can do it. JYP will take you."

I was hesitant. 

"Isn't he really busy?" I said quietly, picking a string dangling from my shirt. 

"He'll definitely make time to listen to you, I promise."

A smile twitched at the edges of my mouth. 

"Thank you so much."

"And now," Junsu said with a smirk. "we are even."

My attention snapped back to him. "How are we even now?"

Junsu leaned back in his chair. "You got us out of the clowns concept and I got you a private audition with JYPE. I think we can say that's pretty even."

I was speechless. 

"You," I started to laugh. "You are such a-"

I began to laugh hysterically and Junsu joined me, gently chuckling. 

We calmed down and continued the lesson. 

I left the studio laughing. It was funny how happy I could be after singing such a depressing song. 

I came home strangely happy and the girls looked at me strangely. 

"Your singing lesson seems to have gone well." Hana wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 

Eun Mi burst out laughing. 

"Yah! Hana! We've got a maknae here!" Rara laughed from her spot on the couch, gently kicking Hana in the head. 

I laughed. "It's not like that, trust me. I got a private audition with JYP next week!"

"Seriously?!" Tae Ji squeaked out, a grin on her face. 

I nodded proudly. 

They enveloped me in a big group hug and I began to laugh hysterically again. 

It finally seemed like my life was going somewhere.