The lights were dimmed as I walked out. The little sparkles on my dress jumped at the little light that they reflected. 

There was a single spotlight on me. I could just barely make out the faces of the audience. It was so different than the other live performances. Everyone's so much closer now. 

The MC introduced me excitedly like all the other contestants. The audience clapped and cheered just as they were told to. 

The soft medley of the piano began. Gunwoo was right. We had done great all those other times, why should this be any different. 

"If I go," I sang into the microphone. My hand grasped it firmly to keep myself from shaking. 

"If I go closer to you. " My voice was still soft. 

My voice was getting stronger. "I wonder what you may think."

"I can't bring up the courage."

"If you go,

If you go away from me,

It's scary to think of how I would send you away."

I took a breath away from the microphone. My mind was calming down. I had only one thing in my head. The song. 

I prepared myself for the higher notes. 

"Perhaps, the reason I only look at you, like a fool,

is for fear that you may turn your face away,

and you and I would drift further apart."

My chest tightened for some reason. 

"Perhaps, the reason I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,

is that I am afraid of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet."

"If you come, if you come closer to me,

I really don’t know what to do."

My free hand came up to heart as I sang the chorus again. Why was my chest hurting so much?

The piano drifted off. 

The audience clapped enthusiastically but I could still feel the tightening in my chest. I smiled and bowed before getting off stage. 

My high heels clicked anxiously down the hall back to the dressing room. I was shaken for some reason. I passed the waiting room without a glance. 

"Hyun Ae! Hyun Ae!"

I couldn't hear properly. I didn't falter. 

"Yah!" Gunwoo said a little louder. 

I stopped and turned around reluctantly. 

"What's up with you?" He asked. 

I began to wring my hands again. "I feel like...it wasn't that good."

"You're kidding," Gunwoo said with a little smile. "You were great. It was amazing."

"You don't have to patronize me-"

"I'm serious. I don't have any reason to lie to you."

My hands calmed down. "You're right, I guess. Thanks."

"Any time."

I looked up and smiled. "Good luck on your performance!"

"Thanks!"

oOo

Everyone in my division had finished. Everyone was amazing. My self esteem was dropping steadily. Now it was time for the studio audience to vote for their favorite in each division. 

I was on stage standing next to Yuna and Gunwoo. 

The MC was announcing the places in the other divisions. The stage wad filled with ecstatic faces as well as disappointed ones. 

"In our last division, we'll start off with first place." A sturdy card was pulled out. 

I stiffened but kept a smile on my face. 

"First place is..."

There was a drumroll. Then an variety of different sound effects that were really wracking my nerves. 

"Again, first place," the MC said with a mischievous look. He fumbled with the card. The audience laughed and we chuckled nervously. 

The MC got a hold of the card. "Whew. Okay. First place is..."

My fingers twitched. 

"Gunwoo of MYNAME!"

The audience burst out cheering and Gunwoo took the little gold microphone with smile and bow. 

When he got back in his spot I said, "Congratulations."

"Thanks," he whispered. "They'll be calling you up soon."

I didn't answer. 

"Second place..."

"...J-Heart of N.Sonic!"

I smiled and clapped for him as he went up with a happy little grin for the silver microphone. 

When he got back in line, I smiled at him and he gave me a thumbs up. 

I smiled but my face felt stiff. 

"Third place is..."

The butterflies in my stomach had died. My body was limp but I still kept that smile on my face. I was still going to be a good sport. 

"Hyun Ae!"

I blinked. 

"Hyun Ae! Go!" Yuna nudged with an eye smile similar to Tae Ji's. 

I stumbled out of my place in line and took the bronze microphone, managing a grateful smile. 

I held the little microphone gently, afraid that even with a little pressure it would break and prove to be meaningless. 

Yuna was after me and then I forgot the rest of the line up. 

The three winners from each division lined up together on stage for another photo. The last place in each division was sent home. One of the guys that hadn't introduced themselves to us was last. I was a little happy he was gone. 

The MC was finishing the show and I was getting a little woozy from all the lights. 

We rushed off the stage, to meet with our managers, change out of some of the more uncomfortable clothes, and yank the huge false eyelashes off. 

I went out to look for Sung Gyu. I really wished that she was taller so I could actually spot her in the crowd. 

I stumbled through the crowd, nodding and smiling when someone congratulated me. 

My vision was getting blurry. My hair was sticking to the sweat on my neck and back uncomfortably. By now, I was just wandering around aimlessly. 

I bumped into someone head first. I didn't even look up, I just murmured an apology. 

I tried to move away but that person had me in their grasp. The two hands had a gentle grip on my shoulders, but I couldn't move away. I was so tired. 

"Hyun Ae...Hyun Ae!"

I looked up. 

A familiar pair of concerned eyes were looking at me. 

"You're burning up...can you hear me? Hyun Ae!"

I moved my lips but no words came out. 

"Sung Gyu! Sung Gyu!"

The two hands were the only reason I was still standing. 

I was led out of the crowd and out to the mild October air. 

"Hyun Ae, honey, can you hear me?"

I blinked a few times and my eyes focused on Sung Gyu's worried face. 

I nodded and tried to stand upright on my own. 

My surroundings were moving and doubling and I stumbled forward. 

The two firm hands caught me. 

"Thank you," I mumbled. I stared at the red sneakers next to my own black high heels. My eyes slowly focused and my head was starting to clear with coolness of the air. "Thank you."

This time I looked up. Junsu let go of me when he saw me standing upright on my own. 

I finally took in my surroundings. Sung Gyu was fumbling around in her purse, the Manager, Junho and Wooyoung were looking at me worriedly and Junsu was standing closest to me. 

Sung Gyu quickly pressed a cold water bottle to my forehead and cheeks. 

"Honey, what happened?" I knew Sung Gyu was scared because she always called us honey if we were sick or something. 

I shrugged. "I don't know...I just felt so tired, and it was really hot in there. I guess it was the heat making me woozy."

"Let's get you changed," Sung Gyu lead me back inside. 

oOo

I changed back into my sweats and sneakers and met up with everyone else in the waiting room. 

Just as soon as I got into the waiting room, Gunwoo stopped me. 

"Hey, I heard about you," he said. "Are you feeling better?"

I laughed sheepishly. "I'm fine now. It was just a little hot in there."

Gunwoo nodded. "See you next week!"

"Yep!"

I met up with the others. 

"That dress looked great," Wooyoung said. "Just like IU's back then..."

We raised our eyebrows teasingly as Wooyoung trailed off. 

"Yeah, you looked great up there," Junho said. The others nodded. 

"Thanks. Gunwoo picked it," I said happily. 

"Of MYNAME?" Junsu cut in sharply. 

"Um, yeah," I said. "I don't know any other Gunwoos."

Junsu looked away. 

"It didn't really suit you," he mumbled. 

"Uh-"

Wooyoung and Junho cut in with a bunch of teasing jokes about how I kind of looked drunk at the awards. 

After I recovered enough to come up with some spunky comebacks, Sung Gyu took me home. 

"Bye!" I waved before getting in our van. 

"Bye!" Junho and Wooyoung waved animatedly. The Manager grinned and gave a little nod. Junsu just glanced our direction. 

For some reason, that really irked me.