I watched the Back2U performance on my laptop in grim silence. I knew every single one of the back up dancers. We were good friends. I mean, I've poured my heart out to them just as I had to 12hour. They were like sisters to us. But that didn't mean I could stand watching Soomin-unnie ripping Junsu's shirt open. Or touching him like that. He had been continuously apologizing to me that week. Of course I told him I was fine with it but I couldn't talk to Soomin without having my ears burn up. 

I quickly closed the tab when Tae Ji and Rara came in. 

I immediately smiled at them. "How's married life?"

Rara laughed. "It's a bit awkward but nice. We've known each other for six years and this is the closest we've been. I just wanted to ask you something..."

Every time somebody said that, I flinched or twitched or stiffened. 

"Yeah?" I tried to sound nonchalant. 

She and Tae Ji sat on my bed and I pushed the laptop away to make room for them. 

"Are you okay with it?"

My mind went blank. 

"With what?"

Tae Ji burst out laughing. "Seulong and Rara!"

I was still confused. "Wait, do you think I have a crush on Seulong?"

"Well, you did say he was like your ideal type," Rara said. 

I relaxed a bit. "Nah, don't worry about it. I'm a hardcore Taeyang fan. The real question is if Seulong is YOUR ideal type."

Rara's eyes widened. "Huh? Oh, uh...I'm not sure..." She looked down and tucked some hair behind her ear. 

Tae Ji and I looked at each other knowingly. I was amused by Rara's sudden shyness and happy with the fact that I wasn't the subject under scrutiny at that moment. 

Rara quickly looked up and suddenly noticed my discarded laptop. 

"What were you doing earlier?" She asked in an attempt to avert our attention. 

I guess I spoke too soon earlier.

"I was watching some old performances," I answered vaguely. It was a performance. And kind of old. If you consider two weeks old.  

"Oh." They seemed disappointed with the typical answer I gave them. They had no material to tease me with. 

They shrugged. Tae Ji crawled over to her bed and Rara patted our heads and told us to go to sleep promptly. 

My ears were still burning. 

oOo

"And 12hour's 'Love Games' stops the charts once again!"

Junsu announced as he strolled into our practice room. 

My legs prickled with goosebumps so I quickly tucked them under me. I still don't know why I decided to wear shorts in the winter. I guess our studio wasn't season friendly. 

"How's your husband, Rara?"

"He's good," she answered with a smile. 

Hana snorted. "You cheated on me."

"Wha-ohhh," I said. I forgot the whole family thingy. 

"We didn't even divorce! And who has child custody over Eun Mi?!" She continued in mock anger. 

"I'm surprised you know the word for child custody," Junsu teased. 

"I'm a little upset I wasn't picked," Tae Ji said. It was a bit contradictory since she laughed as she said it. 

Eun Mi quickly sat up. "Who would you have wanted to be paired with?"

Tae Ji shrugged. "Someone close to my age. Like Jinwoon or Chansung."

Eun Mi immediately relaxed. 

"Well, I think Rara is the most suitable wife," I said. "The rest of us are just not there yet."

"Yeah, married women don't wear shorts in the winter," Junsu said. 

"It gets really hot in our studio!" I protested. 

He grinned at the fact that he got to me. 

Hana suddenly looked up from her iPhone. 

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot!" She exclaimed. She turned to Junsu. "Your Back2U performance is still really hot! Everyone's talking about it!"

I quickly brushed my hair over my ears to hide the fire that was exploding in them. 

I noticed how Junsu's muscles tensed around his lips. He slowly smiled. 

"Yeah, the big balloons were a bit distracting but I guess it ended up okay in the end."

"I think the ripping of your shirts were more distracting," Eun Mi teased and I seriously wished she didn't. 

Hana laughed. "Rara! How would you react if Seulong was up there getting his abs exposed by one of our unnies?"

I almost exploded. Junsu winced. 

I pretended to play around on my phone until I got my ringtone to play. 

"Oh! It's Yubin!" I said suddenly said and rushed out of the studio. 

As soon as I was out of the door, my face was starting to cool down and my muscles didn't feel so tight. 

I quickly called Yubin so it wouldn't seem as suspicious. 

"Hyun Ae!" Yubin said happily. "What's up?"

"Uh, just bored, I guess..." I said. "Oh, how's your new song?"

"Great! I was just going to call you about it! We're getting some pretty good feedback on our English," she said. "Thanks for the help."

  I smiled even though she couldn't see me. "That's great. Hey, I'll see you at Junsu's birthday party, right?"

"Yeah! Can't wait to see Grandpa Daegu again!" She laughed. "Wow, he is getting old. Oh, I gotta go! Bye, Hyun Ae! Thanks again with the English!"

"Anytime! Bye!" I was already in a better mood. Yubin was always good at cheering me up. Whether she was aware of it or not. 

oOo

Once we got home (at 3 am, by the way), I got a text from Junsu. 

'I'm so sorry about today...'

Honestly, I wasn't angry at him. I was angry at myself for being so jealous. 

"It's okay. It's not your fault..." I murmured to myself as my fingers flew wildly on the touch screen. 

"Not whose fault?" Hana asked as she walked by my room. 

I froze. 

"Oh, um-I was just texting Minnie!" I quickly answered as I locked my phone and set it on my dresser. "She got to school a little late today because of some traffic and got a referral slip."

Hana winced. "That . I got so many of those because my bus was always late."

I nodded understandingly and she went back to her room. 

I breathed a sigh of relief. 

I quickly checked my phone again. 

'Are you sure? Anyway, good night, darling.'

I quickly surveyed the area. 

No one in sight. 

I held back a squeal and kicked wildly under my blanket. 

oOo

I had just finished my individual interview for a magazine when The Manager rushed into the room. 

"Oppa! What are you doing here?" I asked. I mean, I was happy to see him but he didn't usually barge into our schedules like that. Something happened. 

"I'm here to pick you up," he said calmly but I could sense some tension and urgency in his voice. 

I was originally going to take a cab back to the JYPE building but I guess the plans changed. 

I got into the van with The Manager and he drove in the opposite direction of the building. 

"Oppa-"

"I know, I know." He said. He sighed. "Junsu's at the hospital."

My heart jumped and there was a sudden cold rush through my body. 

"What happened?" I asked quietly, afraid that if I spoke a decibel louder my voice would crack along with my sanity. 

He exhaled through his teeth. "His knee nearly popped when they were practicing their new choreography. He might have to get surgery."

I chewed on my lip. 

"He may also be diagnosed with clinical depression," he continued. 

"What are you talking about? He seemed fine to me." I couldn't admit it to myself. I was terrified. Clinical depression was nothing to sneeze at. I saw too many of my mom's patients go through so much pain from sadness. 

"It's only a hunch," he said. "He asked to talk to you."

We rushed through the lobby to the second floor. 

Junsu had a private room but it wasn't a luxury suite. He seemed to like a small, comfortable living space contrary to his idol image. This odd tidbit made me smile. 

My smile faded when I saw Junsu staring absently at the ceiling. 

"Junsu-"

"Ah, hyung! You actually brought her!" A huge grin stretched across his face. 

"Ah?" I said flatly. I turned to the Manager. "Clinical depression? Really?"

"That's what the doctor told me!" He protested but suddenly stopped and glared at Junsu. "You bribed the doctor, didn't you?"

Junsu laughed. "Not exactly. I was feeling a little down earlier but now I'm much better!"

"Clinical depression doesn't just go-poof!- and disappear, Junsu," I said flatly again. "I would know. My mom's a nurse. Besides, you made oppa drive all over Seoul to get me! Why?!"

"You make me happy!" It would have been sweet if we were alone and if he didn't add aegyo. It wad just awkward and he knew it. He liked making me feel awkward. 

"Aish! You're so troublesome Kim Junsu!" I plopped down in the hard plastic chair by his bed. "At least apologize to oppa!"

"Sorry hyung."

The Manager laughed and shook his head. "You're a strange one, Kim Junsu. At least you got a sensible girl. I'll leave you two alone. Junsu."

"Yes?"

"Don't try anything funny."

I laughed dryly. "If he did, he'd be stuck in the hospital for a little longer."

Oppa laughed and left us alone. 

Junsu leaned back into his pillow and grinned. 

"Aren't I allowed to though?" He said with a sly grin. 

"Just try," I said through my teeth. I poked his face away from me. "Seriously, you're like a little kid! Your manager had to hunt me down so you would cheer up!"

He laughed again. "Ow! It's not that bad! Really! I just mentioned how nice it would be to have you here to comfort me. Hyung must have thought you were my grand panacea. He usually says he'll get you when I'm feeling down."

I lifted an eyebrow. "Uh huh. And what do you want me to do?"

"Yah! Don't you watch dramas! Feed me! Fluff my pillow-"

"You injured your knee, not hands," I said with a grin. "Besides, that sounds so cheesy."

"It's romantic," he corrected me. 

"Yes, shoving stale hospital food down your throat is quite romantic," I teased. "Really, what should I do?"

"Just...talk," he said more seriously now. "We don't really get to."

I nodded and stiffened in my chair. 

"What's wrong?"

I shrugged a bit and laughed humorlessly. "I basically grew up at a hospital yet I hate them."

"Why?"

"My mom knew that not everyone survived. When I was little, I thought my mom could save everyone's lives. Get them back to perfectly healthy lifestyles. I quickly learned that that wasn't true," I said quietly. "Especially with my dad."

We sat in silence for a while. I cringed. 

"Hyun Ae," he said, staring at the wall. "I know this may sound like I'm seeking attention or something but..."

"Yeah?"

"Are you worried about me?" He looked me directly in the eyes. 

I got goosebumps. 

I knew something was bothering me. A tiny little prick in the back of my mind and I couldn't figure it out. I never thought I'd be so worried about something so trivial. His injury could be fixed with some quick physical therapy and medication. Yet, I was worried. 

I hesitated. I didn't like mushy, gushy, Romeo-Juliette exchanges. 

"Y-yes." I stuttered. Sheesh, it was like filming a drama. 

"If I get out as soon as possible, will you stop worrying?"

"I gue-"

He grabbed my hand and grinned. "Then I promise you that I'll get out tomorrow and I'll be better than ever!"

I stared at him for a moment. I didn't know why. Usually, I was the one telling a patient to look look on the bright side. 

Junsu had a strange effect on me. 

He made me feel strange through the most simple and common things. He made old things seem new to me. He looked at things in a different perspective. He argued with me passionately over the strangest things that I never paid attention to.

That's why I never realized how important someone's smile was before. 

Junsu was always the first to smile at me. It made me happy. I wondered how he felt looking at me frown all day until he made me smile. I must have looked so angry. So disdainful. 

I grinned as widely as I could and squeezed his hand. 

"And for your birthday," I said, "I think you should keep it small. You'll still be recovering."

"No clubbing?" 

"Should you even ask?"

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I'm sorry for the delay!!! Midterms and stuff...not fun...yeah, quick chapter....