Junsu's birthday passed quietly. 2pm (except Nichkhun, who was in Thailand) had a little party for him and the rest of us at JYPE Nation sent him gifts. 

I had to save up the money that I earned (contrary to popular belief, we don't get much pocket money), but I was able to buy him a new song editing program for his laptop and a little panda keychain. 

Junsu secretly named the panda Hyun Ae noona. He had this kind of for calling me noona but I really didn't like it since I sounded like an old maid (and I'm younger than him) so I didn't let him. Instead, he consoled himself with Panda-Hyun-Ae-noona who is just known as 'Noona' to the others.

Junsu got out of the hospital relatively quickly but he wasn't allowed to do any hardcore practice or schedules for a few weeks so we got to spend more time together. 

  Unfortunately, something usually came up. Like a meeting. 

  JYP smiled at us as we bowed and took our seats in the squishy, rolling chairs. 

  "After your promotions for 'Love Games' die down, you'll go into a hiatus to prepare for the next comeback," he said. "Now, I know that it's a bit too early to talk about your next comeback, but your mini album will be a little 'special'."

  I knew that all of us had cringed inwardly. 'Special' could mean anything from a new songwriter to a y couple dance music video. We weren't really prepared for either. 

  "Ah, what is it?" Hana nervously took her role as the leader. 

  JYP grinned. "You'll all be writing your own songs that will make up the mini album."

  "Really?!" We all exclaimed excitedly. I was so relieved and excited I thought I was going to melt. 

  "Yes, yes," he nodded. "Please sit down. You guys scare me sometimes."

  "Thank you so much JYP-oppa!" Eun Mi said sweetly and he immediately softened. 

  "I will write your title song but the rest are up to you," he said. "You have to write six songs, record them, and make up any necessary choreography. You'll have more time than you did for 'Love Games' but you have lots of promotions so manage your time wisely, arasso?"

  "Yes!" We grinned and bowed. 

  oOo

  "Hyun Ae-ah. Hyena Ae-aaahhhhh."

  Something was prodding me in the back. My face kind of hurt too. 

  "Yah, you're so tired you can fall asleep at the piano?" Junsu teased me. 

  I shot straight up and banged my hands on the piano accidentally, letting out a cacophony of mismatched notes. 

  Junsu cringed at the noise and slowly turned my chair so I would face him. 

  "What's up with you? You should have gone home hours ago." 

  I blinked several times but my contacts wouldn't move. They had been glued to my eyes since I fell asleep with them on. It was as uncomfortable and dry as hell. 

  "Ah, really?" I said absentmindedly, worrying about my contacts rather than his curiosity. 

  Junsu sighed. "First of all, you should probably go to the eye doctor this week just in case and secondly, you have to tell me why you're here so late."

  I yawned. "It's not a secret or anything. We're going to be writing the songs for our next mini album and we don't have much time to write them so I'm trying to squeeze some work in."

  "I could help you," he offered. "You'll probably be very stressed."

  I smiled but shook my head. "Nah, it's okay. I need to do this on my own. I can't always depend on you like before."

  "Hyun Ae, you're sacrificing your sleep for this," he said seriously. "I'm sure JYP would have liked for you to get some help. Everyone does."

  "I know, I know," I said. "It's just...the song's kind of personal...and I think it should just come out of my heart."

  I winced at the corniness but it was true. 

  I looked up at Junsu apologetically. A smile twitched at his lips. 

  Oh, God. He thought the song was about him. 

  "It's gonna be about your dad, isn't it?" He said with a knowing smile. 

  "How'd you know?" I quickly asked. 

  "Even though you hate mushy-gushy lovey dovey fluff, you're a romantic," he teased. "You would dedicate songs to people you love."

  I smiled a bit. He was right in a way. 

  I smiled slyly this time and casually leaned against the back of my chair. I propped my elbow up nonchalantly. 

  "Hey, maybe, one day," I glanced up at him. "I could write a song about you."

  He grinned and kneeled down to my level. 

  "I would hope so," he said before kissing my nose. 

  My face flushed but it was nice. I smiled at the feeling. 

  "Let's go," Junsu gently pushed me out the door. "Hyung can drive you back. I'm sure he won't mind."

  "Really?" I decided to again as we were walking down the empty hallways. "What if we start making out in the back seat?"

  "That would be awkward since Wooyoung's also gonna be there," Junsu said with a lopsided grin. 

  I pouted. "Ah, really, Wooyoungie, you pick the worst days to stay late."

  "Sorry, what'd you say, Hyun Ae?" Wooyoung asked as he pulled his headphones off. I hadn't noticed that he was coming out of the 2pm studio. Thankfully, he was blasting his music so he didn't hear the 'making out' comment. 

  "Ah, nothing! I was just saying how I need a ride from Manager oppa," I quickly explained. 

  Wooyoung accepted my rather pathetic answer and we climbed into the 2pm van. 

  oOo

  "Unnie." I heard a soft voice say. 

  I turned away from the piano to the door. It was Taehee, Eun Hye, Hye Young and Hara, the trainees Junsu and I had been trying to support. 

  "Hello!" They all said brightly and bowed. 

  I stared at them blankly. Immediately I felt a surge of guilt. 

  "I said your singing lesson was today, didn't I?" I cringed. 

  Taehee's smile faltered a bit but she kept it. "Ani, unnie, if it's not a good time for you, we'll leave."

  I winced. "No, it's fine. Come on in. Sorry. I'm so out of it lately."

  "Are you sure?" Eun Hye said timidly. 

  Actually, I wasn't but I had promised them that I would help them with their singing. 

  I pushed my composing stuff aside and smiled at them. These girls were sweet girls but I knew this lesson was going to throw me off track. Which would mean my workload would double for the next week. 

  I pushed those thoughts to the back of my brain and began the lesson. 

  I had lost track of time since I was so intent with helping them develop their voices. They were all pretty good but they seemed to fall off key at times. Not often but sometimes. 

  The door creaked open. 

  We turned around to stare at Junsu. We liked making him awkward. 

  "Oh, you actually had the lesson," he said. "It's pretty late. Shouldn't you have started earlier?"

  I blinked. I scrambled for my phone. It was already nine. We had started at five. 

  My heart jumped. I was supposed to have gotten the chorus by now.  And now I was nowhere near that. 

  I took a shallow breath. 

  "Unnie..." One of the girls said but I was too distracted to differentiate whose voice it was. 

  I took another shallow breath. 

  I forced a smile. "It's okay. I can work a little later this week. It's all okay."

  The girls looked away from me in guilt. 

  "We're sorry," Eun Hye said quietly. 

  Taehee bit her lip. Hye Young's eyes were getting a bit red. Hara's eyebrows were knit together in concern. 

  Junsu looked at them uncomfortably. He sighed. "Hyun Ae, you already stay up pretty late. This is going to be suicide for you."

  I looked straight at him. I kept my stiff smile plastered on my face. 

  "I can do it."

  Junsu didn't reply. He looked at me seriously. No smile. No eyebrow twitch. Just a stern look. 

  I broke off our staring contest and turned to the girls. 

  "You guys should head home," I said softly. "Be careful, okay?"

  They got up slowly and bowed to the both of us. 

  Junsu and I both smiled at them briefly as they filed out of the room. 

  As soon as the door clicked closed, Junsu began his lecture. 

  "Yah, Lee Hyun Ae, what do you think you're doing?" He said quietly but sharply. 

  I swallowed. "I'm helping them. They're discouraged but they have the talent-"

  "I know they do." Junsu cut me off. "I mean your song. You're overworking. You can't function on two hours of sleep."

  "I have responsibilities," I answered firmly. "And I don't intend on running away from them."

  "Then let me help," Junsu softened a bit. 

  "I've seen you guys with twice as much work," I said. "That's the real workload of an idol. And you know it. So, why are you sheltering me?"

  Junsu hesitated. He was about to answer but stopped himself. 

  That really pissed me off.

  "What, you think I can't do it?" I kept my voice strong and cold but I was breaking inside. I already knew his answer and I was afraid because it was true. 

  "Yes." Junsu said. He didn't look at me with pity. I didn't know if I wanted him to pity me or not. 

  "Why?" My voice cracked. 

  He sighed and made me sit down. 

  "Hyun Ae, I know you think you're okay now,"

  Oh God. I already knew what he was going to say. 

  "You've gone through a lot. You are working under normal conditions," he explained. "You still miss your dad."

  I knew that he expected me to break down. I expected myself to break down. But I didn't. I kept my gaze fixed on Junsu's eyes. 

  "Don't jump to conclusions," I said firmly. 

  Junsu flinched a bit. It was a minuscule little flinch but I saw it. He was surprised. 

  I guess I was too. 

  I was scared too. I was scared that I was saying that I had gotten over my dad's death. How could I forget someone who had loved, nurtured and supported me. Was I really that cold?

  And also...

  How could I be so cold to Junsu, who I was supposed to love?

  ------------

  Ooooh, tension. Yeah, they're gonna have their first real couple fight. Btw, I was inspired by Playful Kiss! Which I just finished yesterday. Seung Jo and Oh Ha Ni are so cute together! And they're a good post-midterm stress relief.