9

“Questions filled my mind and my heart, this is so not happening.”

I was curious and furious until I felt an envelope at the back cover. I opened it and I saw a letter inside. I took a deep breath and started reading…

“Our goodbyes were not said, and I haven’t seen you for a long time. But just like the sun, I know you are always there supporting me. I don’t hate you, but it was like a heavy rain was poured out to me when you left. I had so much questions, and only you held the answers.

I was beside you in the plane and I was wondering how someone like you just slept when you have someone like me beside you? I thought you were my fan? Ha-ha. I saw you again at the hotel, and I thought that it was destiny. You seemed so carefree and was so devoted to the view that your eyes were glistening. I thought it would be fun to mess around with you a bit. And you said yes, and that was it. I had fun, I didn’t feel like myself when I was with you. You were a whole new world to me.

I haven’t been quite honest with you too. The reason why I was there in Jeju was to get away, I thought the pressure that came with my work was already too much and it was starting to bring me down. It was a healing trip for me. When I saw you, I thought I could use some fun for this and I am so sorry for that. I was so selfish, I had you the whole day just doing everything I wanted to do. I never gave you the chance to do and to go whatever and wherever you wanted. I had fun _________, so much fun. The moment we saw the sunset, was the turning point for me. When we saw the sunrise together, and when you told me why you love it when the sun rises, you gave a new life to me.

You asked me about taking photos, and my answer was vague. My producers were all demanding me to release a new LBV as soon as I can, in the middle of the comeback and a drama. They said it was the perfect time for me to release a new one. How can I? I had to remind myself that my photography and LBV is not just for mere profitability. The LBV is like my baby, or like a plant or a pet that I grew myself. I wanted people to take me and my love for photography seriously, I may not be a professional photographer, and I may always have my fans to support me, but I want to prove to people that I have passion for this.

At the peak, watching the sunrise… it was giving me a new breath, a new beginning. And I couldn’t help but take photos of it. And to be honest, that was the first time in a few months that I took a photo again. The beautiful sunrise and the urge to get back up again was all thanks to you.

Your letter took me aback. Yes, I was hurt when you lied to me but what hurts me most was the fact that you didn’t trust me. I wasn’t going to judge you, you should’ve known better. I came up to you that morning because I wanted to, I offered to take you around Jeju because I wanted to spend time with you, I went to see the sunrise because I wanted to be there when you cross something off your bucket list. I wanted to, you didn’t force me. I didn’t care who you were, and I wouldn’t care. When I was with you, I was Kim Myungsoo, not L of Infinite.

PS: Although I was hurt by your sudden disappearance, I was quiet pleased to know that you are my fan. No, not pleased. I was too happy. I am happy and proud that I have someone like you as my fan. All the more… I am happy to know that you liked me.

PS2: Let’s go back to square one. Hi, my name is Kim Myungsoo and I would love to be your friend.

KMS”