7

“I’m Sorry. Thank You. I Love You.”

A week has already passed from my Jeju trip. Everyone around me was excited to hear about my journey. Since I wasn’t really good in story telling, I just told them that I’ve spent the best days of my life there. And all of them were genuinely happy for me, they thought that the fangirl that I am, it was clear to them that being in Korea will always be the “best” for me. Oh you don’t say… Hahaha. As expected, I skipped the whole “I-met-Myungsoo-in-Jeju” part because that would lead to them telling me that I am a hopeless delusional case and that I’d gotten more delusional than ever.

True to the purpose of my trip, I slowly tried to lie low from fangirling. I didn’t stream any shows, read any fanfics, or anything. I only kept my sns accounts to keep in touch with my fangirling friends who’d gotten really close to me. Genuine friendship - one good thing that resulted from my years of fangirling.

I didn’t hear about Myungsoo, aside from the usual updates that my friends used to tease me. I am a CNBLUE fan, but my friends are all supportive of my love, support and desire for Myungsoo. They thought my decision to completely get over him was MI. Mission Impossible. I learned from them that Infinite had a comeback, they had a series of concerts and Myungsoo was casted in a drama alongside Rain and Krsytal. Great, he was getting back on track. And my friends kept teasing me about the blonde Myungsoo and how hot he was. Blone Myungsoo? I couldn’t imagine a blonde Myungsoo!

Curiosity killed the cat. I was searching for blone Myungsoo’s photos and I tell you, it was a very bad move. It’s like being diagnosed with diabetes and then your breakfast are pancakes with a lot of syrup and ice cream on top. Yes. That was it. All of my feels and feelings for Myungsoo came back. For weeks after I came back, I tried so hard not to think about him. Occasionally, I would have dreams of our moments in Jeju but that was everything to it. I already had a mindset that whatever happened in Jeju was nothing but a dream. This is going to be hard, there is just no getting over Myungsoo and I hate him for that.

Few days, few weeks, few months and I think I have completely shut Myungsoo and fangirling all together in my life. I was already preoccupied and busy with our family business and helping my mom out with her career. I took trips in between, some are family trips, business related trips and some are just me time.

I am already living the life that I wanted, eventhough I missed fangirling, I thought it was best for me to stop. Not because fangirling was bad, but because I was already making it my life, my all. And here I am, still thankful to that one Jeju trip I took and completely satisfied with the results.

Myungsoo was still Myungsoo, a popular Korean idol. And I am still me, although a better version of me.

What happened next, I was completely dumbfounded.