‘Sunbaenim.. Have you feeling better? When are you going to open your eyes?’

 

‘If it’s not because of me.. You surely shouldn’t be lying here..’

 

Shinhye couldn’t stop thinking about those seconds before Minho saved her. The more she think about it, the more heavy the guilt feeling she bear inside her chest. If only she could turn back the time, she would fix all the wrongs on that day. She would make sure that she didn’t zone out because of silly thoughts, and then this accident wouldn’t happen.

 

A sudden knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts, she quickly rub her eyes, trying to clean off the dry tears on her face when a nurse come in. She smiled weakly at her.

 

“Good morning,” the nurse greeted. Shinhye only nodded in response. “I just want to check on Mr. Minho here, excuse me,” she continued politely, checking Minho’s pulse and his heart-rate, then renew the IV bag before writing down everything on her board. “It seems like he’s doing fine, his condition getting better than yesterday. Have you seen him moving his fingers?”

 

Shinhye shook her head weakly, she doesn’t feel like Minho’s health have progressed, but if the nurse noticed it, then that’s good. Eventually, her silence and tired face noticed by the nurse, she stopped writing and looking at her, “Miss, you look tired. Have you sleep?” she asked worryingly.

 

Shinhye once again shook her head slowly, the nurse sighed and patted her shoulder, “Oh my, that’s not good, you know. You should take a rest, Miss. Don’t worry about Mr. Minho, he’ll be fine,” she smiled sadly, and left the room.

 

As if Shinye can sleep with all these guilty thoughts on her head. Even if she want to, she just couldn’t. Her eyes keep watching Minho’s sleeping figure. He looked peaceful, despite all the injuries on his body. And that what makes her heart ache more, he looks too peaceful, like a lifeless body. And she is the cause of that. She’s the cause of all those injury, and bandages, probably even some broken bones. All these thoughts make her guilt even more heavy than before.

 

Yes, as if she can sleep with these.

 

She’ll sleep when Minho finally concious, when she’s done making sure that he doesn’t feel any pain no more. When everything is back to normal.

 

She zoned out for quite a while, before another quick knock jerks her into reality. Probably another nurse, she ignored the sound but a sudden familiar voice surprised her, making her turned her head and stared at the person in front of her, eyes widened.

 

“Shinhye! What happened?!”

 

Yonghwa exclaimed as soon as he entered the room. He did come after the text she sent last night she thought. She’s expecting him to come sooner actually. Behind him, a girl is spotted. A familiar long-wavy haired girl. She smiling. It’s Seo Joohyun.

 

Shinhye simpered, “Ah, you came”

 

“Pabo ya?” Yonghwa hit her head, “Of course I came, after the shocking message you sent”

 

The two take their seat next to the bed where Minho lied down. Yonghwa studied him, “How could this happened? Are you injured somewhere too?” He asked in a low voice.

 

Shinhye shook her head, “Ani. He saved me, so I’m complete alright, while him..” She trailed off. Her face about to curled and redden again remembering the accident yesterday.

 

“Why is he so stupid?” She continued in a pretty shaky voice. “He should’ve let me get crushed by the car, not him”

 

“Ya!” Yonghwa grabbed her arms, make her turned to him. “Stop saying silly things. He mean to saved you and he did. Now you should value the health he sacrificed, not saying stupid things instead”

 

Shinhye went silent at his nag, muffled the cry. Talking about health, Seohyun who is seating next to Yonghwa actually has been studied Shinhye’s face as the two talked. Her face seems so pale, and there’s a thin dark circle under those tired eyes. She looks so lifeless.

 

“Uhm, Shinhye-ssi..” Her voice finally cracked in the room, make the two turned to her. “Have you eat? You look so pale.” She asked worryingly.

 

Yonghwa turned to Shinhye again, studying her face. He surprised at how she’s indeed look so pale, so weak that he even recognized it sooner, whereas he sit closer to her.

 

“Ya, don’t tell me you haven’t sleep too?” He guessed.

 

Shinhye glancing at the two who’s staring at her, waiting for her answer. Worry clearly etched on their faces she even surprised. They noticed it, they even worried about it. To her surprise, Seohyun is the first who did actually. Now she worried of how to answer them, so she just slightly parted her lips, stuttering.

 

The stutter made Yonghwa assumed that she hasn’t eat nor sleep the whole night, up until this morning. His mouth parted widely. An anger crept upon his face, “Ya i saram, jinjja!” His voice raising, “How far are you going to torture yourself?”

 

She ducked her face a bit, “I’m sorry.. I’m not too hungry, nor tired, so..”

 

Yonghwa cut her words, glaring. “How can you say that over this zombie look you’ve become! You should..”

 

The door suddenly opened in a quick move, cut his words that he is starled, also everyone in the room. Eyes are now all turned to someone in a white uniform who stepped in.

 

“Are you guys still going to continue the loud bickering here?” Quipped the nurse in a stern look who is patroling outside.

 

Everyone instantly apologized at her, bent their head down a bit, feeling guilt.

 

“It’s so loud I can even clearly heard distances apart from this room.” She continued, “You’re going to ruin the peaceful of the patient”

 

Once more, the three bent their head down, asked for apology.

 

The nurse soon leaving the room, closed the door back, created a total silence as an after effect of her nag.

 

“Let’s we talk outside” Suggested Yonghwa in his low tone. Broke the silence.

 

“Uhm, I’m going to buy some foods then. You two can continue the talk”

 

“I’ll buy. You stay here with Shinhye”

 

“Gwaenchana” She smiled, “I’m sure you have much to talk” She gestured at him. Her eyes feels like telling him something.

 

He snapped as he caught the meaning of it, so he let her go. “Let’s we talk outside then”

 

“So, how did the accident happen?” He demanded as soon as they seated on a row of bench in front of the room.

 

“It was my fault..” Shinhye began, eyes looking away. “I was zoned out I didn’t aware that there’s actually a car speeding toward me. Right then, he was coming out of nowhere.. Saved me, threw me away and replace my danger position. I wasn’t sure what happened that time since my head hit a rock pretty hard. I felt dazed, only hearing some frightened cries and murmurs of shock. But as some of my conscious collected, I found Minho sunbaenim lied down on the ground; unmoving. Full of blood”

 

But other thing bothered him to the matter. He asked in curious yet serious, “I wonder what were you zoning out of? What were you thinking?”

 

Shinhye lowered her eyes to the floor, look getting lifeless. It’s a tough question for her. She remained silent, thinking hard of how to answer it. But from the side of her eyes, she could see Yonghwa is still staring seriously at her, waiting for an answer.

 

She swallowed hard. There’s no point for her to keep silent anyway. He’ll be here for she doesn’t know how long, and actually it’s the best time to speak it out since Seohyun is away.

 

She took some courage to finally talk, “I still can’t accept the truth you reject me..” There were paused in that tiny voice, “Over her.”

 

Yonghwa found himself froze for some seconds at the confessed. Surprised of what he just heard. ‘Was she really became this heart broken after that?’

 

“I was with you first. Longer than her existence. I know you far better than her, even your mom has known me so well too. I’ve been there, next to you whether you in pain or joy through years. I contributed so much in your life, and so did you. We completed each other. So which part makes her better than me in your eyes?”

 

It was said. Her voice sounds trembling though, but he know that she said it truthfully. It’s so surprising, more than he imagined, that she actually fell this deep toward his actions these past years, that she misunderstood all of them. He felt guilty of breaking her heart up to this extent. It all wasn’t his real intention after all.

 

But then Yonghwa remembered the code Seohyun gestured before she left, that he has a mission coming here. Has a talk to convey to her. So, he fixed his position, inhaled. “You know, last time he came to me” He paused, glanced at her “Minho sunbae”.

 

Surprised, Shinhye turned to him, “W-what? What did he do?” She even unaware that Yonghwa changed the topic due to her surprise.

 

He chuckled seeing her response was that weird, looking away. “I myself was surprised, and same with you, thinking like, ‘what is he trying to do?’. But seriously, he came to me in a good way, asking my time for having a chat with him. And do you know what is the topic of the chat he wants to talk with me?”

 

Blankly, she shook her head. Yonghwa smiled before finally turn and say, “It’s you”.

 

A tap of throb.

 

“He asked everything about you. Your past, your present. He even asked for my permission to get close to you so that there won’t be any fight no more between us. He cleared the misunderstands of his acts. In short, he literally wants to know you better. And to me, for a level of a sunbaenim, it was cool that he approached me, a hoobae of him that we don’t know each other before, that we even ever had a fight before, but he’s like threw all his ego away, approaching me, and get the information of you. He did it all just for you..”

 

Yonghwa shifted his position, “Maybe you found him annoying, acting like a jerk by keep following you almost all the time. But it was his try. Well, everyone has their own way to try stealing their crushes’ heart, and so he does. He has no idea about your past before I told him, so he automatically didn’t know either that you found it annoying, stressing. But you know, he regretted doing that. It was obviously etched on his face, his regret. He even asked for my apology for not knowing it on your behalf. From there, I know, surely that he is a good person..”

 

He turned to her this time, “That he serious about you.”

 

A tinge of tear filled her swollen eyes.

 

She felt shudder at the words. She went stiff, disbelieving of what she just heard. Is such kind of guy really exist? Is he really that curious and care about her? But why such guy could fall for such girl like her, she thinks. He’s like the dreams are made for many girls, and she’s just like nothing compare to those pretty chic or unnies out there in the college. And these past years, she still traumatic of guys. She find them are all jerks, except Yonghwa. But she can’t deny that there’s a part of her heart which melted hearing those all. That actually there’s a guy who is care for her, who is after her this serious. Tears finally run unchecked down her cheeks.

 

“I’m sorry for not being able to accept your confession, for making you this heart broken that I’m not aware of it, for making you misunderstood over my acts these years. I wasn’t intended to do that, and I care for you so much as my best friend that I need to protect. And firstly, I want you to know that actually Seohyun came to my life first than you” He clarified.

 

“I met her ten years ago, two years earlier than you. It was a short meeting though, and it was happened not long after my dad demised. It was strange yet it felt so clear that I found something different on her, though it was still vague what was it that time since we only met once. But she left something permanent that changed my life, that the effect is still alive until now. She is the first who appreciated my music after my dad. Surprisingly, we meet again now and as I spent times with her, for once more I fell for her..”

 

“Love isn’t about who come first to your life, but it’s all about heart.. Who is your heart choose” He stated, gazing at her.

 

“But.. He could be a player since he’s like the college’s prince” She guessed tearfully, wipping her nose with the back of her hand.

 

“Is being a college’s prince always means a player?” He asked, “Well, I asked him about it actually, whether he is going to serious about you or just play around. But to my surprise, he answered more than I need.” He smiled, “He said that breaking woman’s heart is the thing he hate the most. I thought it’s a bull at first, but he explained more that he has a mother who is the victim of a bad man, that he feels the effect of being broken-home child and he hates that. Even he has a sister that he needs to take care of since they live apart from their mother who is work abroad. So, he promised himself that he won’t be such a guy.”

 

“Minho sunbae may come later after me, but he is the one who offer his whole heart for you..” He said, ever so soft with a smile between. He snapped as he remember a critical thing, “Also, he told me that you have that different side than any other girls he found. That you’re beautiful in your own way. A natural beautiful to be exact.” Yonghwa teasefully nudged, wiggling his eyebrows, showing his snaggled tooth hoping to create a laugh on her swollen face.

 

And he did. She snorted, smiled sheepishly, holding back the laugh she’s about to crack seeing his previous silly act. But at least, he know that she isn’t any longer in that stress mood.

 

“About Seohyun..” He began to speak again. “You know, she is so care and worried about you. She kept worrying about your happiness that she even avoided me just to make you don’t get jealous over her. She’s ready to hurt her own feeling, letting me go just for you. She said that she can’t be happy over your cries, but she didn’t thinking about her own cries. And she would really reject me if I wan’t assuring her about Minho sunbae who’s being serious on you, who will be a very good guy for you.” He held a paused, “She is the type of person who willing to sacrifice her own happiness for the people around her.”

 

Shinhye remained silent, thinking hard of what he just said. It is true.. Thinking back, Seohyun once saved her life too from the speeding car while she’s being zoned out. She could ended up being hospitalized too like Minho right now. She dangered her life for her.

She also without any hesitant answered ‘yes’ when she’s asking her to leave Yonghwa for her, like there’s no obstacle to do it.

 

Why.. She just aware it just now? She feels like an evil, too obsessed over her ambition that she can’t think straight. That she can’t realized her kindness. She feels guilt toward her that another tears oozed run on her cheeks.

 

Yonghwa noticed the new tears just slid from her eyes. “Hey,” He whispered, peered her closer. “Why are you crying again?”

 

She started to sob, “I feel bad.. I’m such an evil, right?” She said between her louder sob, stuttering. “How could I being so cold, so evil toward a girl like her? She must’ve think bad of me, hated me after those times I did bad to her. I deserve it though.. I deserve it after all..”

 

He chuckled, “If she hated you, why would she took the initiative to buy some food for you earlier, and not me? She noticed your pale look first, and not me who’s even sitting closer beside you” He smiled, “She won’t. She keeps worrying you instead. She is that kind of person you should know..”

 

Her tears are just keep flowing and flowing on her cheek. She felt total guilty for her. She felt really stupid doing those things these past months. Being cold to Seohyun, obsessed too much for having Yonghwa as her boyfriend, and accused also put danger the guy who is actually care of her. She felt dumb. A total dumb. She can’t believe that those people actually so care for her, but she just keep ruining their happiness. So, she let out all her regret through her tears.

 

She keep saying sorry to Yonghwa for fooling him last time, ruining his plan, and making him took care of her for such long time that he might find her annoying. Yonghwa snorted, then crossed both hands on the chest.

 

“How long did you know me? I thought we have known each other so well that you talking so confidently have been in my life for years.” He tousled her hair playfully, “I won’t hold a grudge over such thing.” He fixed his position back, “I hope you would give a chance to open your heart for him.. If he do something, I’m still on your back, also Seohyun.”

 

Shinhye smiled and giving a final nodded as she wipping her drenched face with the back of her hands.

 

“Now go wash your face.” He laughed, “You look so messy!”.

 

So Shinye stood up from the bench, still wipping her face, aiming for the toilet.

 

On her way, overhead, she saw Seohyun is walking to her direction. Hands are full with loaded plastic bags which she assumed are foods. Seohyun spotted her from afar. Smiled beamed on her face in no time seeing her. She tightened her things and ran over her.

 

“Shinhye-ssi, here I bought you some foods.” Seohyun lifted the bag of foods she just bought around the hospital with a smile on her face.

 

Shinhye stare at her face. That smile.. For the first time she realised, it’s magically feels so warm and kind. Seohyun is really such a kind girl she thinks. She has been so good to her, while Shinhye has been so cold toward her, jealous over her, hoping her to just disappear. She’s thinking, in which part she’s actually doing bad to her, or to everyone in the class, and the result is.. She is never.

 

So how come.. ‘How come I used to hate such a girl so much’

 

“I bought various because I don’t know what kind of food you like, but I hope you lik—“

 

Brug!

 

Seohyun’s eyes turn round as she find Shinhye is hugging her so tight right now. Her body trembling, loud sobs muffled on her shoulder. Seohyun went speechles at the sudden contact, she really don’t have any idea what’s happening. Why is Shinhye’s crying? Is it because of Minho’s condition? Or have Yonghwa gotten really mad at her? What should she do?

She’s unsure of what to do, so she just stood there awkwardly, while Shinhye keep pouring her tears to her shoulder, wetting it.

 

“S-Shinhye-ssi..” Seohyun whispered worryingly. “Are.. you okay?”

 

“I’m sorry..” Shinhye sobbed.  Seohyun’s eyes widened once more.

 

Now she’s really confused. Why is Shinhye’s sorry? What did she do now? “Why are you sorry?” She looked at Shinhye’s crying figure, still unsure what should she do about the situation.

 

Shinhye just crying more, tightening her hold of the girl she hug onto, she don’t have the courage to seeing Seohyun’s face, so she shut her eyes, “I am really sorry, I have been so cold to you. I’ve done bad things to you, and you.. you just- why..? Why are you still being so nice to me?” Her voice muffled. Silence is the only answer she got, so she try to continue, ”I.. I have lied to you, several times, I even hoped that you would just gone away! B-but.. you.. why..?” she sobbed once more. Her cry winning over her words.

 

Slowly, Seohyun hands ran over her back, rubbed it gently. She smiled with the tears started b in her eyes, “You don’t need to apologize. I never think that you did bad to me. Jinjja..”

 

“I can’t believe I could turn to be such a bad person toward a kind person like you. I feel ashamed.. I’m sorry”

 

This time, Seohyun encircled her arms around her tightly, warmly. She hushed her in whisper, “Don’t apologize again. I’m okay, really. I asked for your forgiveness instead for not be able keeping my word to leave Yonghwa for you. If you disapprove, I can leave him right now if you want to, I—“

 

“No,” Shinhye cut her words as she tighten her embrace, tears flowing and flowing. “Yonghwa himself has already choose you, I can’t complain about it, I can’t force him to choose me. I don’t have the right. And I myself realized now that you both deserve each other..” She sobbed between her stutted words, “You both made for each other..”

 

Finally, the pool in Seohyun’s eyes brimmed, fell unchecked down to her cheeks. She feel touched at this moment, that she finally reach her, and she give her the bless for them, that everything has clear.

 

Seohyun’s phone buzzing in her pocket all of the sudden, broke the heart-warming moment the two is sharing. She picked it, and Yonghwa’s voice cracked from the other line.

 

“Seohyun, do you see Shinhye around?”

 

“She’s here with me. What happen?”

 

“Thank goodness! I’ve been looking for her. You both quickly come here. Tell her, Minho sunbae is already conscious”

 

Seohyun’s eyes turned round. She let out a low gasp, surprised. As the phone hung up, she turned to Shinhye, beamed a smile. “Shinhye-ssi, Minho sunbaenim is already conscious!”

 

“Jeongmal?” She instantly gasped too. Seohyun nodded in excitement. Both then ran to the room to check, hands locked each other tightly. Also, forget that she’s aiming for the toilet just now.

 

As soon as both entered the room, Shinhye ran to the side of the bed.

 

“Sunbaenim, have you feeling better?”

 

“Shinhye..”

 

The name escaped his lips, sent a shiver run down to Shinhye’s spine. She’s quivering to finally see him awake. Open his eyes again. Hear his voice again.

 

Yonghwa moved, “I’ll go call the nurse.” He tapped on Seohyun shoulder before left the room, “Seohyun, please stay here with her, okay” She nodded.

 

Instead of answer, he asked back. “Are you alright?” His voice sounds hoarse, still weak.

 

Shinhye spontaneously hit his arm, “Is that a proper question? I’m the one who should ask that!” Caused him groaned in pain.

 

But then he let out a weak chuckle, “Now that I know you completely alright, you just hit me pretty strong”

 

Shinhye snapped and apologized, blushing, embarrassed by her exuberance. She doesn’t know what to say next, so she chose to be silent. Her gaze staring at Minho’s bandages.

 

Minho noticed this, he chuckled breathlessly, “Hey, I’m okay you know, stop worrying me,”

 

Shinhye’s eyes snapped back to Minho’s, “Stop worrying you? How can I stop worrying you when you are still like, this!” she gestured to Minho’s lying figure, her tone angry yet worrying at the same time.

 

“So you are really worrying me then, huh?” Minho giggled followed by Seohyun who was silently observing them, causing Shinhye to once again blush and averts her gaze. He smiled at her behavior, ‘Ah, seriously this girl,’ he thought.

 

A content silence then. Only the sound of their soft breath and the low beeping from the heart monitor could be heard. After a minute or two, Shinhye murmured, “Hey, so.. so why, did you save me?”

 

Minho raised his eyebrows, “Why did I save you?” he repeated, earning a small nod from Shinhye, “I thought you already know, silly,”

 

Shinhye shook her head, “B-but why me? Of all the girls in the school, of all the girls that keep following you, why in the end you choose me?”

 

Minho snorted slowly, “Heh, you should be happy with that, you know,”

 

“I’m not. If you do this just to mess with me, I’m not happy with that. If anything, this just really makes me more annoyed by you,”

 

“Silly Shinhye. Why would I sacrifice myself just to mess with you? I’m not that hardcore,”

 

“Then, why?”

 

He held a paused, before finally confess everything. “Because, I found something different in you than the other girls. Why would I want to be with the girls who keep lingering around boys, who only care about how they look. They might be pretty because most of them putting so much make up, while I found you beautiful just the way you are. A natural beauty. And one more thing.. My heart just say it’s you. It needs no reason.”

 

Another tab of throb.

 

“So, Shinhye.. Would you accept my heart?” He asked earnestly. His voice low and soft, gave a shudder run down on her.

 

He said it, and she heard it, very clear, direct from his lips. Tears started pooling her eyes. Her lips trembling. She can’t deny that the simple words touched her so much. That it makes her maudlin.

 

“And I’m aware we don’t know each other well, and we may take long time to come to that level, but I know for each other, we will—and we’ll have a lifetime to do it.” He continued.

 

“If my acceptance will make you get better quick, then I wouldn’t mind..” She sobbed, “I’ll accept it”

 

Minho allowed himself a small victorous smile, and it’s broadened. Seohyun keep smiling all along, watching them amusedly. She felt completely relieved towards these two.

 

----------------------

 

The day is already dark. Yonghwa and Seohyun walked along under the street lights by each side, heading home while chatting cheerfully. They can’t believe what happened today, from the unexpected text from Shinhye, to all the hours they spent in the hospital, accompanying both Shinhye and Minho, and in the end, they skipped their college. Without regret.

 

“I’m happy for Shinhye-ssi. Jinjja..” She smiled in relief, blowing white breaths into the air.

 

“See, now that you see directly she’s happy, you should find your own happiness too from now on, ahrasseo?” He said, faking his voice to make it sounded like a father nag her daughter.

 

“Ahrasseo..” She nodded in submit.

 

“Like you know.. Be with me~” Yonghwa sing-songed.

 

Seohyun cringed, face curled at the same time as she turned her face to him. Watching him wriggling his brows, looking so weird yet adorable. Adorkable.

 

“Shall we do a run competition?” He suggested out of the sudden, stopping his previous weird act.

 

She startled, create the usual face “Ne? Here? Right now?”

 

He chukled at it and nod, “The one who lose should give a piggy back?”

 

Hesitantly, she replied, “Run? Call!” Posed ‘bring it on’.

 

He asked for her bag, so that she could run easier also allowed her to do a head start. He pointed to a car ahead them, saying that’s the finish line. So, in countdown from three the competition.. Began.

 

It’s been a long day..

And today they felt many different things.

But one that’s for sure..

 

Everything is clear.

 

 

 

----------------------

 

A/N :

For now... :)