resilience [\ri-ˈzil-yən(t)s\] n. - the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

“Mihyun, wake up.”

“Mihyun, it’s just a dream.”

“Mihyun,” Sehun called out loudly as he shook the sleeping girl’s shoulders. “MIHYUN.”

Mihyun’s eyes snapped open and she jolted up in her bed, nearly slamming the top of her head against Sehun’s. Her chest heaved up and down as her heart beat rapidly against her chest, her hands clenching the sheets tightly below her, “Sehun…”

“Mihyun, it was just a dream,” Sehun reassured her as he cupped her face gently into his hands. He turned her head so he could stare into her eyes, and wiped away the sweat that layered her skin, “You’re okay; it was just a dream.”

It took a few minutes of Sehun her hair for her to completely calm down.

“S-Sorry,” Mihyun finally murmured as she pulled the damp blankets away from her body. “Sorry for waking you.”

“No, don’t apologize,” Sehun shook his head as he pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. He glanced down at the perspiration that layered her body and frowned, “Did you have another nightmare?”

Mihyun remained silent as the images of that night flashed through her head once more, and she gave her head a slow shake.

Sehun stared down at her with disappointment, “You can tell me that you had a dream, Mihyun. I won’t make you tell me about it.”

He let out a sigh when she refused to respond, and the bed creaked as he stepped back onto solid ground. “Do you want to take a shower?”

“Yeah,” Mihyun answered in a soft voice. She pushed her hair behind her shoulders and slid down until her toes touched the cold floor. She glanced up to see Sehun staring at her with an intense gaze of concern, and cocked her head, “Is something wrong?”

Sehun opened his mouth to response, but reluctantly closed it as he glanced away. “Nothing, I’ll go make you some tea.”

Before Mihyun could say her thanks, Sehun had already left the room. She stared at the door to her bedroom that he had left ajar and bit down on her bottom lip. Sehun was frustrated with her, she knew that.

She just wasn’t ready to get everything off her mind.

Mihyun pulled a fresh set of pajamas from her dresser before stepping into the bathroom that lay adjacent to her bedroom. She ran her hand against the wall until her fingers pressed against the light switch, and her eyes immediately squinted to adjust to the sudden brightness. She quickly shed her clothes, tossing them carelessly to the side before stepping into the shower. Her body immediately relaxed as the warm water pattered against her skin, washing away the sticky sweat that had clung to her skin.

She pressed her forehead against the cold tile as the water continued to rinse off her perspiration. “I’m sorry,” Mihyun whispered quietly as Sehun’s face flew into her mind.

Seven days had passed since the Noye rebellion, and the news that headlined the papers every day certainly didn’t reveal anything in their favor. The courts were still in the middle of discussing what was to be done with the rebelling Noyes, and while Yixing had told her to be patient, she knew it must not have been going well. Tens of hundreds of Noyes had been recaptured already, and there were faces she recognized among the photos published: Himchan, Yongguk, Jongup. Sehun had slammed his fist against the wall when they had seen Junhong’s face in yesterday’s paper.

That wasn’t why Sehun was frustrated with her, however. He was frustrated that she hadn’t spoken, not a single word about the anguish she felt or the nightmares that plagued her dreams every night. He was frustrated that she retained her stoic expression etched onto her face, even when all the others shed tears nearly every night. 

“I’m sorry,” Mihyun repeated as she closed her eyes; the water erased any evidence of her tears.

She couldn’t afford to show emotion in front of the others. She couldn’t afford to cry or break down, not now, not at a time as crucial as the one they were going through. If she broke down she wouldn’t be able to pick herself up. If she broke down she wouldn’t be able to continue her façade in front of the public eye, wouldn’t be able to fight for the rights of the Noyes, wouldn’t be able to secure their freedom.

The final trial would be held tomorrow, or really, today, seeing as how she had woken in the dead of night. The final decision would be established today, guaranteeing whether or not the Noyes would be free from their title.

“Just a little longer,” she nodded her head, slowly opening her eyes as she turned the faucet to cut off the stream of water.

After drying off and putting on a new set of clothes, Mihyun stepped into the kitchen where Sehun was waiting for her. To her surprise, both Luhan and Baekhyun were sitting quietly at the counter as well, each with a mug of what Mihyun could only presume to be tea in their hands.

“Sehun told us you couldn’t sleep either,” Baekhyun nodded his head as he gestured to the mug that was sitting next to him.

Mihyun offered him a weak smile as she took the spot, burning her tongue as she immediately took a sip.

“You should know by now not to do that,” Sehun scolded as he took the mug from her hands. Mihyun watched as he blew at the top in an attempt to cool it down, and her heart swelled as she stared at him.

“Today’s the day, isn’t it?” Baekhyun whispered, more to himself than to the others. “Today’s the day.”

“We’ll let you know the news as soon as we find out,” Sehun nodded as he handed the mug back to Mihyun after he deemed it chilled enough.

“Are you going to go too, Luhan?” Baekhyun asked as he glanced over to the elder that sat quietly at his side.

Luhan nodded his head rather than supply a verbal answer. He still wasn’t used to speaking, and tried his best to avoid vocal responses.

“I want to go too.” Their heads turned to the new voice that interrupted the room, and they watched as Jongin stepped out of his bedroom and into the kitchen.

“You know why you can’t,” Sehun responded disapprovingly.

“Yeah, but I still want to,” Jongin shrugged as he stole Mihyun’s tea from her hands to take a sip. He ignored Sehun’s cry of protest, and handed it back to her with a smile.

Sehun swiped it out of his hands before Mihyun could take it back. He grabbed a napkin to wipe the rip of the mug thoroughly, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, “Nobody’s going to have an indirect kiss with Mihyun except for me” under his breath.

Mihyun gave him a small smile before shifting her gaze to the small boy who was sitting one seat away from her. Luhan had his sleeves pulled over his hands that were wrapped around the large mug. He held his tea so close to his face that the steam directly hit his skin, causing it to turn a light shade of pink. His eyes were swollen and red again, just like how they have been for the past seven days.

Luhan caught her gaze and gave her what he hoped was a weak smile, “Is there something wrong?”

Mihyun was mildly taken aback at the sound, still unfamiliar with the soft sound of the elder’s voice. She shook her head and returned the smile before taking another sip of her tea, flinching when the liquid scorched her tongue yet again.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?” Sehun asked as he glanced at the clock that read 5:30 AM in bold numbers.

Mihyun shook her head and placed the mug back onto the table, deeming the tea unable to cool down any time soon. “I’ll just have to wake up again in an hour, so I might as well stay up.”

“Well, I’ll be going back to sleep,” Baekhyun nodded as she pushed himself off of his chair. “Chanyeol’s going to wake up soon and throw a fit if I’m not next to him.” He gave Mihyun a kiss on the top of her head and waved goodbye to the others, rolling his eyes when Sehun shot him a dirty look. He knew Sehun didn’t honestly have a problem with his skinship with Mihyun, however, but Sehun still continued to act as if he was going to murder him just to spite him.

The foursome glanced to the side when the sound of a door clicked open, and Jaesuk paused momentarily taken aback to see all those who had waken before him. He cracked a tired grin and stole the seat Baekhyun had just abandoned, “Looks like nobody can sleep, huh?”

Mihyun hummed in agreement, deciding to give her tea another try.

“You think today will go well?” Jaesuk asked, nodding his thanks to Sehun when the other handed him a cup of coffee.

Mihyun shrugged, flinching once more when the hot liquid burned her tongue yet another time.

“You have to blow on it,” Sehun sighed as he picked up her mug to do it for her.

“I’m going to bed,” Luhan announced as he pushed his tea away from the edge of the counter and into the center. His feet hit the ground with a soft thud, and he bowed his goodbyes to everybody before disappearing back into the room he now shared with Jaesuk; Baekhyun and Chanyeol had taken over his room.

“He still thinks about Minseok, doesn’t he?” Jongin asked in a low voice once he was sure Luhan was out of earshot.

“Mumbles his name in his sleep,” Jaesuk nodded in confirmation. “I don’t think the poor kid will ever forget what that guy did for him.”

“Minseok…” Sehun murmured his name below his breath. “We never did get to know him very well.”

“Luhan did,” Jongin shook his head. “They’d always talk, Minseok and him.”

“That makes it all so much harder,” Jaesuk clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He let out a loud groan as he stretched his limbs above his head. “Well, I’m going to get myself ready for court later on. I’ll wear my lucky socks and hope for the best,” Jaesuk smiled, attempting to lighten the mood.

His words were in vain.

Mihyun was first to walk into the house later that evening, her face set hard in stone as she headed straight to her room without exchanging any words with the others who came out to greet her.

“Mihyun, listen, we’re filing an appeal to get the case back into court and it will work in our favor this time, so please don’t give up hope and jus—” Yixing called out as he followed closely behind her. He stopped when her bedroom door slammed right in front of his face, and he let out a sigh as he rubbed his temples with distress. He turned around when he heard other footsteps gather around him, and he glanced up at the Noyes to give them a small, sympathetic smile, “I reckon you all know what the court decided already?”

“Jaesuk called us,” Baekhyun nodded his head stiffly. His eyes were red and his face was tear stained, revealing that he had already used his share of tears at the results.

“I can’t believe the jury sided with the Noye house,” Jongin scoffed incredulously under his breath. He let out a loud, empty laugh, “So all of this was for nothing, wasn’t it? All of this pain and suspense was for nothing. Kyungsoo ing died for nothing.”

“Jongin, please,” Yixing sighed as he loosened the tie around his neck with frustration. “We’re filing an appeal for this case, because there is no way in hell that the jury sided with the Noye House without there being any strings attached. We’re working on the problem, okay, so just stay calm and don’t do anything rash.”

“Where’s Mihyun?” Sehun demanded as he came rushing into the house. The top two buttons of his dress shirt that was no longer tucked into his dress pants had fallen off. His tie hung loosely around his neck, and the cuffs of his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows. He looked the exactly opposite of how he had left earlier this morning.

“She went into her room,” Yixing answered as he pointed at her closed bedroom door. The sound of running water filled the pipes over head, “And now she’s taking a shower.”

“What happened to your face?” Baekhyun asked softly as he eyed the blood that dotted the corner of Sehun’s mouth.

Sehun’s expression darkened and he let out a small snarl at the memory, “Jaemin said some nasty stuff so I decided to teach him a lesson.” He turned his gaze to Mihyun’s closed bedroom door, and took a hesitant step forward.

“Leave her alone,” Jaesuk shook his head as he walked into the room with Luhan at his side. He pressed a hand down on Sehun’s shoulders to tell him to hold his ground. “She took the results the worst.”

Sehun opened his mouth to protest, but reluctantly agreed with Jaesuk’s order.

“You can get it re-evaluated right?” Baekhyun asked in a small, hopeful voice as he turned to Yixing.

Yixing nodded his head confidently as he fixed the cuffs of his sleeves, “There is no way almost all of the jurors voted against us.” He glanced down at his watch and quickly bowed his good byes to the others, “I have to get back to the courthouse and talk with the other Noyes. Tell Mihyun to call me once she’s calmed down so we can work out further details.”

The silence that remained after he left was almost deafening to their ears. Their spirits had fallen to an all time low at the news of the results, and the hopes Baekhyun had adopted of finally going out in the open were lost once again. “So we’re… we’re not free…”

“Not free yet,” Jaesuk shook his head, his eyes flashing with resilience. “Like Yixing said, there was clearly something suspicious going on behind the scenes and we’re going to work at nothing to find out what the hell was going on. You all worked too damn hard on this rebellion, and it would all be for nothing if you gave up now.”

“We’re not giving up,” Baekhyun shook his head as he plopped down in a chair. He let out a loud groan, “It’s just frustrating.”

Jaesuk opened his mouth to respond, but paused when the vibrations of his phone interrupted him. He glanced down at the message he had just received, and his eyes darkened as he read the contents. “Looks like I’m heading back out. You should come with me, Sehun, I think you’d be interested.”

Sehun hesitated, his eyes glancing over at Mihyun’s door before he finally nodded his head in agreement. “Let’s come back as soon as we can, okay?”

“Sehun, Mihyun has been in the shower ever since you left which was two hours ago and she won’t come out no matter how hard I try to get her out and will you please just persuade her to come out so I can confirm that she hasn’t died or something in there because I swear to god if she decided to drown herself or something I am going to bring her back to life and strangle her myself,” Baekhyun exclaimed in a rushed voice the second Sehun stepped back into the house.

Sehun eyes widened at Baekhyun’s words, and he immediately sprinted over to Mihyun’s bedroom to see what the hell was going on in there. The door nearly slammed against the wall when Sehun burst in, and he pounded his fist against Mihyun’s bathroom door without any hesitation, “Han Mihyun you better open this goddamn ing door before I break it down! Do you hear me?!”

He paused in silence for a few seconds to give Mihyun the chance to respond, but when all he heard from the other end is the pattering water, he slammed his fist against the wall for another good ten times. He’s pulled back his fist and is about to break down the door with the 11^th bang, but freezes when he hears a soft, “I’m okay,” call out from the other side.

“You have been in there for two hours Mihyun!” Baekhyun called out as he raps his palm repetitively against the bathroom door, “Come out now!”

There is a beat of silence before Mihyun responds, “I’ll be out soon.”

“Han Mihyun I am going to break my way in there if you don’t come out within five minutes,” Sehun threatened in a dark voice. He let out a growl when Mihyun made no efforts to reply, and he stomps away from her door and back into the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked when Sehun began to rummage through the drawers. At this point both Jongin and Luhan had come out from their rooms to see what the noise was about. Even Chanyeol, he was confined to the limit of his bed shouted out to see if there was something wrong.

“I’m looking for the keys to open her damn door,” Sehun muttered as he rummaged loudly through the drawers in search for the right one.

“But Mihyun’s ,” Baekhyun pointed out matter of factly.

“Do I honestly look like I give a ?” Sehun growled, letting out a grunt of satisfaction when he snatched the master key to the all the doors into his hand. He stomped back to Mihyun’s bathroom, this time without Baekhyun at his side, and jams the key into the lock without a moment of hesitation.

“Han Mihyun you better ge — ,” Sehun pauses when he sees Mihyun huddled into the corner of her shower. Her arms are wrapped around her knees that are pressed against her chest, and her face is buried into her arms. Her long black hair cascades down her pale skin, swept by the water of the ongoing shower. His heart dropped at the sight of Mihyun in such a state, and his voice softened as he called out her name, “Mihyun.”

“Yes?” Mihyun called back, her face still tucked into the safety of her arms.

“Are you okay? Are you, are you really okay?” Sehun asked in a quiet voice, already knowing the answer to his question.

Mihyun doesn’t take any time to respond to his words, “No.”

Sehun doesn’t know what to tell her, but Mihyun doesn’t need him to say anything.

“Can you… can you just sit there?” Mihyun finally broke the silence.

Sehun paused. “Huh?” he responded dumbly.

“Can you just stay with me?” Mihyun clarified in a small voice, happy that Sehun couldn’t see her flushed face clearly through the fogged glass of the shower stall.

“Y-Yeah,” Sehun nodded his head slowly. He trained his eyes up onto the ceiling as he walks closer to Mihyun, finally spinning around and seating himself with his back pressed against the shower glass. “I won’t sneak a look, I promise.”

Mihyun hums at his words, and the two settle for another pregnant silence once more. It’s broken after a few minutes when Mihyun whispered, “Is this my fault?”

Sehun didn’t need her to clarify to know what she was referring to. “No,” he responded without skipping even a beat of silence. “It is not your fault.”

Mihyun let out a dry chuckle, “I thought hearing it come from somebody else would make me feel better but it looks like it doesn’t.”

“Mihyun, this isn’t your fault. None of this was any of your fault,” Sehun stated firmly, resisting the urge to spin around and force Mihyun to look into his eyes. He doesn’t like how empty Mihyun’s voice sounds.

“The rebellion was my fault,” Mihyun retorted bitterly, her nails digging into the palms of her hands as she tightly clenched her fists. “Kyungsoo’s death was my fault. Minseok’s death was my fault. Everybody’s grievances was my fault. Maybe what Jaemin said earlier was right. Maybe I should have gotten myself kille—”

Mihyun froze when she felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around her body, pressing her firmly against a warm clothed chest.

“Don’t say it,” Sehun warned in a low voice, “Don’t you dare ing say that you should have gotten yourself killed, you ing brat. Do you even know how much you mean to everybody? To me? How could you even suggest – you mean so much more to everybody than you could even fathom, Mihyun. And I will be ing damned if you question why you’re still here living with the rest of us. You’re here because you deserve to be, Mihyun. You’re here because you have worked so ing hard for everybody else that you deserve to live. You’re here because everybody needs you here, because I ing need you here, and it’s not your fault. None of this bull was ever your fault and it never will be, and nobody else here thinks it’s your fault so you better not either.”

Mihyun doesn’t respond for the longest time, and Sehun almost thinks that she fell asleep until he feels her small fingers curl tightly around the back of his soaking wet shirt. “The others are probably worried about us right now.”

“I don’t give a ,” Sehun growled as he pulled his arms tighter around her.

“Your clothes are getting wet,” Mihyun spoke quietly into his chest.

“I don’t ing care,” Sehun replied, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of wet jeans clinging to his legs, or the patter of water that hit his back.

“I’m right now.”

“I swear to god I don’t fuc—” Sehun’s words got caught in his throat once he completely processed what Mihyun had just said. He loosens his grip around her, and his eyes instinctively run down her body. Once the sight of pale skin meets his gaze, he immediately flushes a bright red and spins sharply around.

The bathroom is silent once more except for the water that is thudding against the pair of them.

“I…I-I’m so-sorry,” Sehun stammered under his breath as he mentally curses himself to the pits of hell.

His heart lightens when the familiar tinkling laughter drifts into his ears, and he freezes for a split second, but relaxes when a pair of small arms wrap around his waist. He feels Mihyun press herself against his back, and nearly feels the outline of her lips through his shirt as she whispers, “Thank you.”

“Y-Yeah, whatever,” Sehun flushed in embarrassment. He reached over to turn off the faucet, finally putting a stop to the stream of water that had been running consistently for two straight hours. “Now hurry up and get out before you catch a cold.”

He turned to the side and stretched out a finger to the bathroom, signaling that Mihyun could grab a towel without Sehun looking.

“I’m done,” Mihyun called out a few seconds later. Sehun turns around to face her, and his face nearly flames up once more when he sees all but a towel wrapped around her dripping body.

“Wear some clothes you idiot,” Sehun muttered as he grabbed another towel from the rack at his side. “And hurry up and dry yourself up.”

“You called me a brat earlier,” Mihyun quipped as she glanced up with Sehun with a raised eyebrow of amusement. The dark and somber mood that had engulfed the room earlier had now completely disappeared, leaving the dripping wet pair with a loose aura.

“Because you are,” Sehun muttered as he tossed the towel over her wet hair. He spun her around before pulling the rim of the towel over her eyes. He slid his hand around the back of her head and pulled her forward so he could land a kiss against the top her head. His lips remain pressed against the damp material of the towel for a few more seconds, and he lets out a small chuckle before muttering, “Brat.”