Timorous

자유 True Beauty

timorous [timərəs] adj. - suffering from nervousness, fear, or a lack of confidence.

 

“She loves me.”

“She doesn’t love me.”

“She loves me.”

“She doesn’t love me.”

“She loves me.”

“She doesn’t— You were an ugly flower anyways,” Sehun muttered as he snapped the stem he was holding before chucking it to the ground.

Sehun sighed as he rested his cheek on his closed fist, staring at all the petals and broken stems that littered the area around his lap.

He leaned over to snatch another flower away from its family before he began mercilessly picking of its petals. He managed to get half way through before he chucking the flower away with exasperation.

“You are a joke, Oh Sehun,” he muttered under his breath as ran his hands over the hundreds of discarded petals. “And Mihyun is going to kill you when she gets back.”

He stood up and stretched his limbs, brushing the petals off of his clothing to hide any evidence that he was the culprit behind the dead flowers. He walked over to Mihyun’s mother’s tomb stone and crouched down beside it.

“Why did you have to kill yourself?” Sehun asked quietly as he ran his fingers over the badly engraved letters. He paused for a few seconds, as if waiting for a response. “Why did you have to leave Mihyun all alone?”

“I ask myself the same thing all the time,” a voice called out, interrupting Sehun’s moment of solitude.

Sehun stretched his neck to look over his shoulder, and he raised an eyebrow at Jaesuk who was standing at the doorway of the green house. “Where’s Luhan?”

“He’s just a few feet away from me, playing in the fountain,” Jaesuk answered as he outstretched his finger into a direction Sehun couldn’t see. “Mihyun’s given you permission to come in here, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sehun answered as he got up from his crouching position to head towards Jaesuk. From the way Jaesuk was standing firmly behind the doorway just outside of the green house, he knew the latter hadn’t been given the same permission as him. “Jaesuk, you knew her mother, didn’t you?”

Jaesuk paused for a few seconds before nodding his head, “Yeah. I came to Mihyun’s side when she was 6 years old, so I knew her mother for a little less than under two years.”

“What was she like?” Sehun asked, hoping that he wasn’t crossing the line of privacy with his questions.

“Weak,” Jaesuk nodded with crossed arms. “She was beautiful, intelligent, and kind, but she was weak.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Half the time I saw her she was crying,” Jaesuk murmured. “And it angered me, because often she would be crying to Mihyun. Mihyun was still a child, but despite that she could understand the meaning behind her mother’s tears. I mostly blame her mother for forcing Mihyun to turn out the way she is today – not that I don’t love her as she is.”

“And the… the Noye?” Sehun asked dryly, his words catching themselves in his throat.

Jaesuk stiffened, “I never saw him. He was dead before I had arrived.”

Sehun voice a small “Oh,” before staring down at his shuffling feet.

“Sehun,” Jaesuk spoke suddenly, causing the boy to look up at him with alarm. “I know you love Mihyun, and I know Mihyun returns the feelings to a certain extent.”

Sehun gulped, preparing himself for what was to come next.

“And I want you to know that I’ll protect the two of you.”

Sehun’s eyes widened in alarm; those were words Sehun had certainly not been expecting.

“I’ll protect the both of you with my entire life,” Jaesuk nodded his head as he placed his hand firmly on Sehun’s shoulder. “I’ll never be able to repay Agashi, ever. I could give up ten of my lives and it would still never add up to what she has done for me. Agashi cares for you a lot, you, Luhan, and all of the other boys, so I guess indirectly I care too.”

Sehun continued to stare at him speechlessly, no words coming to mind to respond with.

“This doesn’t mean I like you,” Jaesuk scoffed as he ran his fingers coolly through his hair. “I still think you’re an ignorant brat.” He side eyed Sehun when he flinched, “But you’re not too bad.”

Sehun bit down on his bottom lip as he listened to the elder’s words, “Hyung…”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jaesuk chuckled as he shuffled the front of Sehun’s hair. “I wouldn’t be able to stay around Agashi any longer if you fell in love with me too.”

“Yah, Hyung!” Sehun exclaimed in protest as he bumped the elder’s shoulder playfully.

“Come on, Luhan! Let’s go back inside before the President comes home!” Jaesuk called out, waving over Luhan who had been happily playing in the fountain.

Luhan nodded his head and jogged over to the pair, shaking his wet hair along the way like a dog.

“Hyung, you’re getting me wet,” Sehun crinkled his nose as he wiped the wet drops away from his face.

Luhan flashed him an apologetic smile before quickly scribbling something across his board to show the other two. When is Mihyun returning?

Jaesuk frowned as he read the words and he scratched the back of his neck, “It’s been two days now, hasn’t it?”

Luhan nodded his head with a sad frown.

Jaesuk let out a sigh before turning to the two with an optimistic smile, “She’ll be back soon, don’t worry. She knows better than to leave you two alone for a long period.”

Silence fell among the three once again as they made their way back up the stairs, all of them silently engulfed in their own thoughts.

“Sehun,” Jaesuk called for the boy once they entered Mihyun’s bedroom.

“Hm?”

“I never asked you this earlier, but what did Mihyun’s father want to say to you?” Jaesuk asked with a raised eyebrow as he settled himself into a leather chair.

Sehun clenched down on his teeth as he sat down on the side of his bed, frowning at the memory of the conversation. “Nothing much,” he muttered as he ran his fingers through his coarse hair.

Jaesuk opened his mouth to continue his questioning, but was interrupted by the sound of the door flying open. All three heads jerked to see the new figure standing underneath the door frame, wondering who would actually dare to enter Mihyun’s bedroom.

Sehun’s eyes widened in brief surprise before crinkling almost immediately in delight. “Mi—” He was cut off when the sudden figure wrapped her arms tightly around Sehun’s torso, resting her head against Sehun’s chest without uttering a single word. “Hyun?

Jaesuk climbed to his feet in alarm, “Agashi, are you okay?”

“She’s just tired,” another voice explained as an unfamiliar man stepped inside the room. He closed the door behind him and rested his back against the wooden frame. “Let her rest.”

Jaesuk glanced at the man and nodded his head, settling back into the chair with relief, “Yixing, you two are back already?”

Yixing nodded his head as he scratched the back of his neck. He turned his gaze to Mihyun who was still resting against Sehun, and let out a small chuckle. “This girl really doesn’t know how to rest. She hasn’t slept for more than an hour the entire time we’ve been gone; always muttering about how she had to finish everything quickly so she could come back.”

Sehun’s eyebrows narrowed at the man’s relay of information, and he stared down at the top of Mihyun’s head to display his displeasure. “Yah, Mihyun,” Sehun called out as he nudged the girl gently on her shoulder. “Mi— Are you sleeping?” Sehun asked in disbelief as he carefully unlatched Mihyun’s hands from his waist. She would have hit the ground if it wasn’t for Sehun’s quick reflexes.

“This idiot,” Sehun huffed as he lifted the small girl into his arms. He turned to slide her under the covers, prying her fingers from the grip they held onto his shirt. He pulled the comforter up to her chin and carefully tucked them around the girl’s body to ensure her warmth.

“Did you guys finish up?” Jaesuk asked as he pulled out a chair to offer Yixing a seat.

The other male shook his head and held up a hand apologetically, “There’s still a little bit more I’m going to finish up. I forced her to come back early because she refused to get any rest. When she wakes up, tell her that I’ll be finished with the documents soon and will send it to her early tomorrow morning.”

Yixing turned to Sehun who was still hovering over Mihyun, carefully brushing her stray strands of hair away from her face, “You must be Sehun, right?”

Sehun stilled at the sound of his name, and slowly pivoted his body to look at the unfamiliar male. He curtly nodded his head, and wearily eyed him from head to toe. “You’re Yixing?” He frowned at the handsome appearance of the other and automatically decided that he didn’t like this man.

Yixing laughed at the hostile gaze he received, and held his hands up in surrender, “Mihyun told me you were the jealous type.”

Sehun’s face immediately flushed red and he spluttered out a weak defense, “I-I’m no-not jealous!”

Yixing chuckled and then turned to Luhan who had been silently observing from the far corner of the bed. “You’re Luhan, right?”

Luhan stared at him unmoving for a few seconds before slowly nodding his head. He pulled his knees up to his chest and turned his head to observe Mihyun, a frown decorated across his face as he examined the deep circles that rested under her eyes.

“Let’s go into a different room to talk,” Yixing suggested after glancing at the trio. The two men exchanged knowing glances and small smiles of amusement before exiting her bedroom.

Luhan glanced up at Sehun’s creased eyebrows and downturned lips as he pointed to the dark circles that blemished Mihyun’s skin.

Sehun nodded his head with a frown, “She’s exhausted.”

He pressed his hand against her forehead to see if she was running a temperature and pulled it away in relief. He glared at the girl’s cheekbones that were protruding unnaturally from her cheeks and gritted his teeth angrily. “Does this girl not know how to take care of herself?”

A gentle hand pressed against Sehun’s upper arm to calm him down. Luhan scribbled quickly across his board before holding it up. Let’s just let her rest for now.

He glanced at Sehun out of the corner of his eye and smiled childishly before quickly sliding himself under the covers to cuddle up against Mihyun.

“Yah!” Sehun cried incredulously, his words going ignored by the elder. Luhan gestured for Sehun to leave with a flick of his hand before wrapping his arm around Mihyun’s waist for good measure.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the elder’s act of intimacy and flicked him across the forehead. “Keep her warm,” Sehun chuckled as he picked up his book off the bedside table. He stretched his limbs across the bed as he sat with his back against the bed frame on Mihyun’s other side, cracking his book open to the page he had dog-eared.

He found himself unable to concentrate on the small printed words, however, and instead favored to spend his time staring at Mihyun’s sleeping face. Even while resting the girl appeared exhausted, and Sehun nibbled on his bottom lip as he traced gentle circles on Mihyun’s cheeks with the pad of his thumb.

A few hours passed, and Sehun soon found himself torn between wanting Mihyun to rest more and wanting her to wake up and keep him company.

“I’ve brought you two dinner,” Jaesuk called out as he opened the bedroom door with a tray balanced on his knee. He picked the tray back up into his hands and bumped the door close with his hip. “Don’t wake up Agashi because once she’s awake she won’t go back to sleep.”

“Hyung?” Sehun called out as he slid out of the bed as carefully as possible to not disturb the sleeping figure.”

“Hm?” Jaesuk hummed as he began taking the plates off the tray.

“What business did Mihyun have to leave for?” Sehun asked curiously as he helped the other with the dishes.

Jaesuk paused momentarily before continuing to transfer the meal onto the table. “You’ll find out soon, Sehun. I think it’d be much better if Agashi told you rather than myself.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrowed in disappointment, but he didn’t utter any words of disagreement; if Mihyun wanted him to know then she would have told him so herself.

Dinner was consumed in silence and barely anything was actually eaten. Jaesuk left the room with plates that were almost as full as they were when he had first entered.

Luhan announced via white board that he’d be sleeping in his own bed for the night to allow Sehun his time alone with Mihyun. He wagged a finger, however, and warned him not to take advantage of the sleeping girl - easily dodging the pillow Sehun threw at him not a second after.

Sehun lies down besides Mihyun, wondering if it was appropriate to rest besides her when he hadn’t asked for permission. He wonders if he’ll be able to fall asleep with his heart beating against his chest as hard at it was, but he ends up doing so rather quickly, waking up hours later when the girl stirs beside him.

“Sehun?” Mihyun mumbles out into the dark as she softly pats down the figure beside her.

Sehun hums with his eyes closed, still groggy from sleep. His eyes snap open with surprise, however, when Mihyun slowly snakes her arm around his waist before scooting closer to bathe in his warmth. He swallows hard at the touch and is suddenly hyper sensitive to everything around him. Mihyun rests her forehead against the side of his upper arm, and she whispers against his skin, “Were you and Luhan alright for these past few days? Did Jaesuk treat you well?”

“Y-Yeah,” Sehun cleared his throat, his face flaming up from the close proximity between the pair.

“That’s good,” Mihyun mumbled with a slight nod of her head. “Did my father call for you?”

There was a pause, and Sehun contemplates lying for a few seconds before deciding against it. “He did,” Sehun nodded.

There is a pregnant silence, and Sehun nearly jumps when Mihyun shoots upright. She turns to him with furrowed eyebrows and demands to know what the man had said to Sehun.

“It wasn’t anything big,” Sehun answered as he pulls the girl to lie back down. “He tried to get me to leave you – he even offered me money,” Sehun chuckled at the memory. He rubbed the girl’s back soothingly when he felt her stiffen.

“And?”

“And what?” Sehun asked with a raised eyebrow. “I rejected him. He didn’t take it all too well, but he didn’t order for me to get beat or anything like that.”

“What did you say to him?” Mihyun asked curiously as she tilted her head up to peer at the other. “Did you just say no and walk away?”

Sehun paused uneasily, “I guess you could say something like that. Well… I told him that I was selfish,” Sehun confessed as he averted his eyes from hers. “I told him that I would never let you go even if it was for your own good.”

Sehun gulps when he is met with silence, and his eyes flicker to Mihyun’s face for just a split second to gauge her reaction. The silence continues to stretch on, and Sehun crestfallen at Mihyun’s lack of reaction. He did the wrong thing, didn’t he?

“Mihyun…?” Sehun calls out quietly, his mood suddenly diving ten levels lower. Mihyun obviously didn’t feel the same way he did, and he was so stupid to have assumed that she did. Sure she liked him back, but that didn’t mean that she was willing to go as far as Sehun was.

She liked him, but that didn’t mean that she loved him.

Not the way that he loved her.

It wasn’t her fault; honestly, the blame was all on his shoulders. Why would she love him, anyways? When she could choose practically anybody in the world to be with, why would she choose him? He was just a Noye.

Her father was right; he couldn’t provide anything for her. He couldn’t buy her a house or a car. He couldn’t help her business prosper or relieve her stress. He couldn’t even be seen with her in public for god’s sake.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun whispered, swallowing hard to prevent tears from stinging his eyes. “I’m sorry; I’ll go talk to him about it. I swear I’ll make it better. So please just don’t, so please just…”

His voice trails off when the tips of her fingers gently brush against his cheek, and he quickly shies away to avoid the touch.

“Sehu—”

“Agashi, Yixing has sent in the rest of the files,” Jaesuk called out as the door swung open. He stops mid step once he gets a look at their compromising situation, and immediately backs out, slamming the door behind him.

There is a beat of silence before the door reopens, and Jaesuk pokes his head back into the room, making sure his eyes wander onto everything except for them. “All of the papers are sitting on the table ready to be brought to your father.” The door quickly closes once again.

A thick silence captures the room, and Mihyun tilts her head up to look at Sehun with soft eyes and pressed lips. She cracks a small smile when Sehun obviously tries to avert her gaze, and she uses her hand to force him to look down at her.

“Sehun.”

He inhales.

“Do you trust me?”

He exhales.

“Yes.”

Mihyun inches forward to press a soft kiss against his jaw line. “Good.” She slides away from his body and out of bed before tying her hair up into a loose bun. “I’ll be back soon, Sehun.”

He doesn’t answer her with words, only nodding briefly before turning his body to face away. She hesitates at the doorway for a few seconds, wanting to take care of business, but also wanting to continue to lie with Sehun and kiss his worries away. She swallows hard and tears her eyes away from him to quickly slip through the crack of the door. “I’ll be back soon, Sehun.”

“… just don’t leave me.”

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Pxnellyxq #1
Chapter 39: NOT ME CRYING LIKE A BABY
ackerwoman
#2
Chapter 30: Jongin with his famous smirk at the end, my god
ackerwoman
#3
Chapter 28: Aww cute, he's playing with the flower haha
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#4
Chapter 27: Yes fight for her!
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#5
Chapter 26: No, I'm not crying. You are.
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#6
Chapter 23: dont tell me. oh my god. He never got treated right, at least give me something not to cry over. Whyyyyyyy
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#7
Chapter 21: wuu the story is thickening its plot!
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#8
Chapter 17: That's sweet talk but I wonder about the kiss. I mean I would be embarrassed? I can't run around kissing guys' forehead all the time haha
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#9
Chapter 15: I can't help myself but ship Mihyun and every guy she encounters. And how kyungsoo be able to refrain himself from falling in love with her? She literally gave him everything, supports and also secure attachment.