I quickly disconnected the call with kairen tucking the phone back in my pocket before hurrying back into the room. Chaeren lay on the bed with tubes connected to her as the doctors looked over her. She recently took a turn for the worse; she was practically on life support now. I moved to her mother putting a comforting arm around her shoulders as we waited for the doctor’s words. I rubbed her mom’s arm gently as she shook with tears. I quickly wiped at my own as I watched in horror.

“Ma’am.” The doctor said coming over to us. Her mother jumped up and we moved to the doctor hopefully. He gave us a small smile patting our shoulders. “She seems to be out of the woods for now, I wouldn’t worry. If she keeps up the fight like now it looks like she can be back to a healthier state in about a week. We will keep constant watch on her to make sure things continue smoothly.” He said and her mom collapsed into my shoulder laughing weakly but gleefully.

“Thank you doctor, thank you!” I said happily shaking his hand. he gave us a bow and turned to leave the room.

“Oh mark-ah!” her mom said happily giving me a tight hug. “Thank you so much for being here through all of this, I know you don’t really have any connection to her but I know you being here means the world to her…and me.” I smiled waving off her thanks.

“No, she was there for me when I was going through my surgery, I’m glad I met her, she’s like a little sister to me.” I said honestly. We moved over to the couch sitting down so we could speak comfortable.

“Yes, how is your injury doing?” she asked curiously.

“Oh…uhh I’m still not back to 100 percent. I get pain when I try to do the more serious acrobatics, I have an appointment with a specialist at the end of the month to make sure everything is ok.” I said nodding. “I think I’m just healing a little slower is all…I was never a fast healer.” She smiled at me softly patting my arm.

“And have you talked to kairen about this?” I looked down meekly. “Mark-ah, I see you as a son so I worry. Kairen is a dear girl, the few times I met her I just loved her.” she said smiling. “But if you don’t trust her maybe you shouldn’t be with her?” she said softly. I looked up to her horrified.

“Anni! I trust her…I just don’t want her to worry about anything.” I said shaking my head frantically. “The thought of not being with her horrifies me.” I said shuttering.

“Maybe you don’t trust her as much as you think you do…otherwise you would share with her your burdens…like she does to you.” I bit my lip looking down at my fingers as I picked at my nails.

“I…I don’t want to be away from her…but…” I shook my head my voice shaking. “There are some things I just can’t bring myself to share with her…like past traumas between us…seem to be making this brick wall that won’t let me reveal everything that I want to.” Chaeren umma sighed reaching up and cupping my cheek affectionately.

“Mark-ah…I can tell she loves you with her whole heart, trust her…or separate from her…don’t hurt her.” I nodded understanding what she was saying but not understanding what I needed to do. my phone buzzed in my pocket and I opened it. It was an update from kairen’s twitter. I clicked on it and felt a lump form in my throat.

“Her whole heart huh…” I said bitterly. I looked at the twitter update of kairen with some guy at a convenience store. They seemed friendly enough as they posed together. Chaeren umma looked over my shoulder and chuckled.

“Aigooo, she’s so friendly!” she said clapping her hands laughing. “You can’t expect her to not ever make friends hmm? You knew how friendly she was when you fell in love with her, don’t doubt her she doesn’t doubt you when you keep all these secrets from her.” she said ruffling my hair. “That was her calling you earlier wasn’t it?” I nodded. “I figured, you wouldn’t have answered at a time like that for anyone else.” she said sighing happily. “You should go spend some time with her…she must be thinking the worst with how you ended the conversation so quickly.” I chuckled nodding. She probably was, I knew kairen well…she over thought everything.

“Arrasso, I’ll be back first thing in the morning. School starts Monday so I’ll be less frequent, make sure you let chaeren know I’ll come as often as possible.” I said sliding into my jacket.

“I will, take care.” she said giving me a kiss on the cheek. “You make sure to let kairen know how much you love her hmmm, and figure out your own feelings towards her, whether you can trust her 100 or not.” I nodded taking her words seriously. I kissed chaeren on the forehead before I left the hospital.  I dialed kairen as soon as I was out of the elevator on the ground floor but she didn’t answer.

“Yah…where are you?” I mumbled clicking her number again. still no answer. I ended the call and almost immediately my phone started ringing. “Hey Jb, have you heard from kairen?” I asked as soon as I answered.

“Yea that’s why I’m calling.” I could hear the Ferris wheel in the background. He must be at work. “She called to ask if we wanted to go to a concert at a bar tonight. Her friend knows the group. I told I was working but they let me go early, do you know where the bar is? I was going to go meet them.” Was that why she called me earlier?

“Anni, she didn’t tell me anything about it.” I said laughing nervously. Jb tsked into the phone.

“I’ll call the others and text you the name of the bar if you want to come.” He said and quickly hung up. I sighed sliding into my car as my phone buzzed in my pocket. kairen updated her twitter again. I opened it and it was a picture of her and the guys and to my dismay daehyun all in front of luckies bar grinning and posing for the photo.

“Gotcha.” I said grinning as I pulled out and headed towards luckies.

“I thought you said your friend was meeting us?” bambam asked as we waited in line for the bar. It seemed really crowded.

“He said he was sorry but he would meet us here, he said the group left my name at the door for me and my group of friends.” I said shrugging. TK said he had to take care of something for the group and couldn’t meet us until the show.

“OH chincha…daebak.” Yugyeom said appreciating. I laughed rolling my eyes at him. he was easily pleased.

“Daehyun-ah…did you bring what I asked for?” I said suddenly thinking about bambam and yugyeom ages.

“OH nae here.” he said reaching into his pocket. I grabbed the cards and handed one a piece to yugyeom and bambam.

“Fake id’s!” bambam said elated. I laughed rolling my eyes.

“Daehyun knows a guy at his school who is a master; no one will be able to see through those.” I said proud of my friend.

“Ohhhhh, jangjang man!” bambam said giving daehyun a high five. I laughed happy now that we all where able to get in.
“but no drinking, this is strictly so you can come into the bar.” I said seriously. they were still to young to drink and I didn’t want to get them in trouble. They seemed a little sad at it but let it go because they wanted to come to the show.

“ID’s.” the man said at the door. we all brandished our ids passing by flawlessly like I knew bambam and yugyeom was. “Arrasso, price is ten bucks a head.” he said handing our id’s back.

“Oh, I’m on the door list, my names Kairen, the group showing should have left my name.” the bouncer nodded and looked over the list.

“Here you are.” He said nodding. “Go on.” he said opening the rope. Grinning we all hurried in. the bar was crowded with people drinking and dancing, the music was thumping through the whole place. Me and the guys came here a few times before it was a nice bar to drink at and dance.

“Daebak!” yugyeom and bambam cheered happily. “We are going to dance with some pretty noonas until the show!” bambam said grabbing yugyeom and yanking him away. I laughed rolling my eyes.

“Well, anybody up for a drink?” Jr asked wrapping an arm over my shoulder.

“Of course, if you’re buying.” I said pointing. Jr laughed at this.

“You are so cheap!” I looked at him shocked.

“Why do people keep telling me that? Do you guy’s want me to stay living far away?” I asked astonished.

“Mian, mian.” Jr said holding his hands up in defense. “I didn’t mean it, I’ll buy you a drink as my apology.” He said pinching my cheek before draggning youngjae with him to get them.

“Oh a table over there!” I said spotting a table close to the stage. “Perfect!” I cheered and me and daehyun hurried over. the table only had to tall stolls but plenty of standing room for the others, it was right close to the stage only off to the side a little, it would be a perfect view for the show. “I wonder where tk is.” I said looking around. I still hadn’t seen him.

“Who’s this TK anyway?” daehyun asked curiously as he took the stool across from me. Jr and youngjae came back then sliding a mug off beer in fronts of me and a placed a pitcher in the middle of the table.

“Oh, he came into the cafe a few times, and I ran into him at the convenience store he works today. He’s really cool.” I said nodding. Daehyun and the others watched me skeptically.  “What he’s just a friend, you guy’s are looking at me like I committed a crime…am I not allowed to have friends?”

“But he’s a guy?” youngjae pointed out. I set my mug down with a clack and looked at them evenly.

“So are everyone one of you…should I stop being your friends to then? Hmmm?” I said poking at them. they all looked away embarrassed. “That’s what I thought.” I said sipping my beer.

The lights dimmed and girls started screaming all around the bar. Bambam and yugyeom ran over breathing heavily.

“It’s starting!” they cheered excited. I looked around again for tk but still didn’t see him. shrugging I focused on the stage, I’m sure he’d show up sooner or later. 

A group of boy’s came out to the stage and the screams grew almost deafeningly as the lights siloeted them. the music started as the lights flashed. A very attractive boy stood in the middle and moved to the music as the others reacted to his movements. It was really good.

“Omo! It’s sunbae’s!” jr said shocked. I looked at him confused. “C-clown sunbae! They are great! We’ve opened for them before in a performance.” The said smiling. Wow…this was a small world.

This is how the word plays (x3)
you know we back, it’s C clown.
oneureun mwol ibeobollae
naeireim mwol ibeobollae

I watched as the members started going one by one to perform. The first one was smooth and charismatic, it was a great start to the song. Very catchy. I took my beer sipping it when a familiar voice came on. I spit my beer back into the cup in shock.

“BWOHYAH!” I boomed pointing at him on the stage.