One year. It had been one year already. I still couldn't believe it was true.

And yet it was.

I smiled as I bowed my head to smell the scent of the flowers I was carrying.

I knew it was such a cliché to buy flowers to your girlfriend on your first anniversary, but oh well, I knew she would like them, and it's not as if she had allowed me to buy her a proper present.

My phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I changed the bouquet to my left hand in order to answer.

-Yeobuseyo?

- Minhyuk-ah? Where are you? You’re going to be late – said a male on the other side of the line.

-Manager-hyung? What..? We had a free night tonight! – I protested, panicking, starting to feel that annoying tightness in my chest.

-There has been a change of plans, we need you back in the agency as soon as possible, there has been some arrangements on the choreography you need to have mastered by Friday – my manager informed

-That can’t be…I… - I wasn’t able to find any words, this couldn’t be happening, not today, not again.

Just how many special occasions had I missed with Ha In?

How many promises had I had to break because of my stupidly tight schedules?

I told her this night would be special, that I would make it up for all the times I had left her alone, that I would make all the lonely nights worth it.

I had not seen her ever since our comeback preparations started getting serious, I didn’t want to disappoint her anymore, I didn’t want her skipping lessons to sneak in our practice room, I didn’t want her ditching her friends to talk with us in our breaks, I didn’t want her up in the middle of the night, cooking food for me so I would be properly fed.

-Alright, I will be there in ten – I answered, bitterness all over my voice.

-I’m sorry Minhyuk-ah, I know tonight was special for you, but I am sure she will understand…

I hung up before he could finish talking, of course she would understand, she always did, and that was the very worst part of it.

She was perfect, not even once did she get angry, or annoyed whenever I would cancel our dates, she wouldn’t even allow sadness to be imprinted on her voice, and it killed me, it killed me knowing that she was giving it all in this relationship when I was not worth it at all, when I wasn’t giving her the relationship she deserved.

I took a deep breath as I dialled her phone.

-Yeobuseyo? – I heard her say as I felt my stomach painfully flipping, not of excitement, but guilt.

-Ha In-ah – I breathed.

-Minhyuk-ah! - she greeted, once again, my stomach twisted in the most painful way – why are you calling me? Are you going to be late?

-I…. – I took a deep breath – Ha In I am so sorry…

-Oh… - her voice dropped .

-Manager-hyung just called me…the choreographer changed the dance a bit and we all have to go back and get it ready before we start recording the MV – she didn’t answer – Ha In I am so sorry…I know I promised you I would be there tonight…God I am so sorry…

-Minhyuk-ah – she interrupted me – I understand, really, don’t worry about anything, it’s just a date, we can celebrate it any other day.

My left hand was clutching the flowers with so much strength some of the flowers were breaking.

-Ha In-ah I really… 

-Minhyuk, don’t – she said – it really is OK.

-But it’s not! – I protested – God I’ve been waiting to see you for so long, we’ve been dating for a year, and how much of it have we spent together?

-I know, but honey – she said, she only called me honey when she wanted to make me feel better – we have no other choice but to get through this, this is your work, when we started dating we both knew how things were going to be, I love you, and I don’t care.

-I just…I just want one date with you, just spending one night with you to celebrate you’ve been making me the happiest man on earth for a whole year, just for one day I want to be able to make you as happy as you make me feel every day.

My eyes were stinging.

-Minhyuk, listen to me, go, have your rehearsal, next week, you will have your comeback and you know I will be there, sooner or later we are going to be together, so don’t worry.

I sighed, I was once again back to the agency, I leaned my back against the wall and tried to calm down.

 -I know, but anyway, I want you to know I love you.

She laughed softly.

-I love you too, Minhyuk, don’t overwork yourself alright?

-I will do what I can – I chuckled, and once again, with a slightly less bitter sigh I said – happy anniversary jagiya.

….................................................................................................................................................

Closing the door shut with much more force than I actually intended, I entered the practice room where the guys waited.

None of them said a word to me, but a pregnant silence reigned over the room, I looked around

-Where’s the choreographer? – I asked.

-He will be here in a few minutes – my manager answered – maybe…you would like to change your clothes.

I nodded, barely being aware of what was I told, or what I was actually doing, but when I stepped out of my thoughts I was already in the changing room.

My reflection was looking back at me from the full body mirror.

I was wearing dark trousers and a shirt, nothing too dressy, after all, we were just going to have dinner at her flat, but it wa