This

Who Am I

Around half an hour later, Tori returned to the room in a wheelchair with Doctor Jang. She carried a different demeanor than when she left; her shoulders were slumped over and she did not look up from the ground. Her body seemed limp and she seemed to try to sit as far away from the back of the chair, where the doctor was pushing, as possible. As soon as they entered the room, she stood up from the chair, dragged her feet straight to the bed, and hid under the covers.

"What happened?" Jinyoung asked the doctor.

Doctor Jang shook his head, "Seeing that she was feeing more relaxed, I wanted to take her outside for some fresh air. She still hasn't begun talking so I figured we'd just work on getting comfortable with her environment."

"Did she react badly to being outside?" Gongchan asked, glancing over at the limp body on the bed.

"No. She didn't really respond much but just sat there, not looking at me nor seeming to pay attention to what I was saying to her. I was hoping she would at least take in the scenery, but she just stared at her hands the whole time. Even so, it was going quite well since she was able to at least sit comfortably with nurses, doctors, and patients walking by." He sighed, "but, I believe we may have caused her to take a step backwards and retreat into her mind." He turned to look at the confused boys, "One of the other patients outside came up to her and smacked her. She was quite shocked and began to panic as the patient continued to lean toward her and scream at her." Doctor Jang had an expression of disappointment, "it was a fairly new patient of mine that has attachment issues. She would get extremely jealous if she saw anyone she knew with someone else other than her. So, seeing me next to Tori-ssi triggered her to lash out at her. Tori-ssi fainted at the shock so we had to roll her back in. She woke up when we were down the hall, still terrified."

Jinyoung imagined how terrifying it would be even if it was himself in that situation. He looked down at the sheet of paper he was scribbling lyrics on and felt even less determined to continue.

"Poor nuna." Gongchan says, shaking his head, "Don't worry Seonseng-nim, we will make her feel better in no time!"

Doctor Jang chuckled, "Yeah, you boys keep up whatever you're doing. I think it really will help her. Well, I should go now and let her rest a bit. I'll check up on her in our evening session. I'll leave her in your hands, boys. Remember to get me immediately if anything happens, okay?"

They both nodded and bowed as the doctor left the room.

"Hyung," Gongchan looked at his hyung who has returned hovering over his sheet of paper. "Hyung," he moved the sheet of paper away from him, "you've had writer's block for a couple days now. Take a short break, neh? Maybe you can find some inspiration in the unexpected." He eyed the empty pudding cup on the table, "Like pudding!" He picked it up and exaggeratedly presented it like it was a precious jewel.

Jinyoung smiled and shook his head at his maknae. He eyed the plastic container and then turned to look at Tori, who was now facing the window with the covers over her head. There was something about this, whatever this was, that made him want to capture it through his music. It was this that made whatever he wrote seem so unsatisfying. It wasn't really an emotion, nor was it was an idea. More or less, he felt like there was something in this exact moment, this room, this experience, that tugged at him. "I guess," he thought to himself, "I should wait it out to see exactly what it is."

"Hey, hyung," Gongchan suddenly had an idea, "why don't you play something?" He motioned to Jinyoung's bag, "on your tablet. Maybe it'll help you relax a bit, and make nuna feel a bit better."

Jinyoung reached into his bag and pulled out his tablet, "play something? like what?"

Gongchan shrugged, "just something. Like you and Sandeulie hyung usually do to relieve stress."

He tilted his head in thought while waiting for his music app to open up, "anything..."

The app pulled up a selection of instruments and he selected the keyboard. He pressed random keys, "What can I randomly play so suddenly?" He played a couple chords, "I have writer's block, remember?"

Gongchan shook his head, waving his hand in protest, "play a song. mmm..." he thought for a second, "how about an old song? Something nuna would be familiar with."

Jinyoung played around with a couple more chords that made Gongchan think of something, "Oh! Oh!... what was that song.." He begins humming the melody along with the chords Jinyoung played.

"Eyes, Nose, Lips" Jinyoung said, "that's not that old."

"Well, I think nuna would have heard of it. It was a pretty big hit after all."

Jinyoung continued to play the chords with the song, "Do you know the words?"

Gongchan thought for a moment, "maybe..?"

Jinyoung started it off, "Miyanhae miyanhae ha jiman..."

Gongchan swayed back an forth with the music as Jinyoung continued to sing the song. His voice filling the room like a soft mist.

He stopped abruptly in the middle of the chorus, "Wait a minute. Didn't you say you want to cheer Tori-ssi up? Why am I playing such a depressing song?"

Gongchan chuckled, "Mwo... it sounds nice anyways. Hyung's soft voice and musical talent is what'll make her feel better." The maknae smiled innocently to his hyung.

There was rustling from the bed and Gongchan looked up to see Tori turned around, away from the window, looking up at the plate of fruit on her table.

Jinyoung saw Gongchan looking past him and turned around to see what he was looking at.

"Hyung," Gongchan whispered, "Do you think that means maybe she's feeling a bit better?"

Jinyoung glanced him and shrugged, "You think that could be it?" He turned his attention back at Tori, who seemed to be deep in thought while staring at the plate. Though, he couldn't tell exactly what she was thinking about, he felt like she was wrestling with something in her thoughts.

She got up from the bed and took the plate of fruit into her hands, poking a slice of apple with the fork.

"Ah- jamkkanman-yo (wait)! jamkkanman-yo!" Gongchan jumped out from his seat and headed to her bedside and froze as he was about to grab the plate from her hands.

Startled, she stopped her movements and stared up at him.

Afraid to scare her, he slowly put his hands down, "ah... sorry nuna. I didn't mean to startle you." He pointed down at the plate, "but that fruit has been sitting there for a while. I'll get you some fresher ones, neh?"

She continued to stare at him with her big, beady eyes.

"um...ah..." Feeling awkward, Gongchan rubbed the back of his head, "n-nuna," he pointed at the plate, "I'll take this from you, neh?"

Jinyoung walked over to the scene and put his hand on Gongchan's shoulder, "mwo-hae?" he asked.

"That's been sitting there for an hour, it's probably all dried up by now. I was going to go cut her some new ones." Gongchan innocently said to his hyung, "but I think I startled her with my abruptness."

"I'll do it" Jinyoung offered. He reached out for the plate and looked at Tori, "Tori-ssi. Can I take this for a moment?"

Her eyes diverted away from Gongchan and landed on Jinyoung. They looked different than before; clouded and dark. "It's okay," he assured her, "I'm going to get some fresh fruit for you," he said with a smile.

The cloud did not budge, but she let go of the plate and leaned against the backboard of the bed.

Gongchan gaped at how calmly Jinyoung was able to communicate with her, "How-"

Jinyoung pat his shoulder, "I'll be back." He grabbed Gongchan's hat from the couch and put it on before slipping out of the room.

"Nuna." Gongchan looked at Tori, who was paying no attention to him, "You must be the first girl I've seen hyung act so comfortably around. Especially since you've just met!"

He took out his cell phone, planning to text CNU but looked at Tori, who has turned her attention to the window, "Nuna, you must be bored in here all day, aren't you?" he opened his music player, "shall we listen to some music instead?" he scrolled through the music and wondered what she would like, "should I play some of our songs for you?" He played an upbeat song, "Solo Day," to go with the nice weather outside. She didn't budge but continued to watch outside her window. But, as the song reached chorus, Tori turned her attention to the phone.

Gongchan smiled at his success, "Nuna, I hope you're not upset with me for startling you. And... I hope you won't let that lady from outside get to you..." He softly said the last part. She glanced at him and back at the phone. "What could you be thinking about, nuna?" Gongchan asked, "Is it really that great to be in your little world? I mean, I guess it's nice once in a while to be by yourself, but don't you feel stuffy in this room all the time?"

This time, she stared right at him, her eyes unmoving.

Feeling awkward under her stare, he winced and rubbed the back of his head, "sorry, I guess I crossed the line. I hope you're not upset."

Jinyoung returned to the room and walked toward them. He saw Tori staring at Gongchan and asked the maknae, "what did you do?"

He immediately jumped out of his seat, "I don't know. I might have upset her. Nuna's glare is piercing." He stepped out of the way to let Jinyoung put the plate down on the beside table.

"She's not upset," He responded.

"Mwo?" Gongchan looked at his hyung in confusion, "how do you know that?"

Realizing that he just made a statement without proof, he retracted his words, "I mean, she doesn't seem upset.... she would probably be going back to sleep or crying if she really was upset, right?" He looked down at her, who was watching their conversation, "after all, she doesn't look like she's glaring." He motioned toward the food, offering for her to eat.

She blinked a couple times at Jinyoung, who was relieved to see the dark clouds from earlier gone, and turned to eat her food.

"Ah-" Jinyoung turned to Gongchan, "CNU called me and said he just finished shooting. I said we'd go meet him."

"Good idea!" Gongchan jumped up at the suggestion. "Since CNU hyung is done for the day, let's go find him for lunch!" He looked down at Tori who was eating her fruit contently, "and let's bring something yummy back for nuna too."

"Ya. You're really going to keep disturbing Tori-ssi's peace and quiet like this? She must be tired already."

"Nggyyaaahhh" He whined and swung Jinyoung's arm, "I didn't get to spend much time with nuna today. And don't you feel bad for her? Without Ana-ssi around, she must be really lonely all by herself in this room."

Jinyoung looked down at her and almost as if she knew, she looked up at him.

"I'm not lonely." She seemed to say, stubbornly.

"Okay. If we have time, we'll come back later"

"Ahni..." Gongchan shook his head, "we will have time." He said definitely. He looked over at Tori, "nuna, what are you in the mood for?" She just watched him as he thought out loud, "hmm... how about chicken! There's a great chicken place by here. Hyung!" He turned back to Jinyoung, "let's stop by that chicken place!" Without giving Jinyoung enough time to respond, he put his hat over Jinyoung's head and began pulling him out the door, "let's go hyung. Nuna, we'll be back soon!" He waved and closed the door behind them as they exited.

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Hitomie #1
Chapter 15: thanks for this awesome B1A4th present :) haha .. I didn´t expect a update for this Story but now I´m more happy as before^^ thanks alot :) I hope Tori will gain her memories back soon and restart to live a normal Life^^ :D
nikiiiichan
#2
Chapter 15: waaahhh! i missed this story~~
AndreaC20 #3
I hope you can continue it soon, your story is really amazing!
Hitomie #4
Chapter 14: ahhh why did I find this FF so late .. this is really a great one :) hope you continue it^^ :D love Tori & JY *mental interactions* :D
CrissyLovee #5
Chapter 13: Yay! An update(: I really enjoy reading this story and your update honestly helped to destress me from my hectic week
its_just_me #6
Your story is so good, author-nim! I love it!
nikiiiichan
#7
Chapter 10: yayyyy~ an updateeee~ me likey, but Ana is thinking a bit negatively... :S
nikiiiichan
#8
Chapter 9: uhuhuhu. /cries/ gongcha is so cute in this~ and jinyoung is soooo cooollll~
CrissyLovee #9
Interesting story, I like it so far(:
nikiiiichan
#10
Chapter 8: uwahhh~ i think i'm a fan of your writing~