Tori put the phone down beside her and watched the scenery outside her window as she thought back to the night before; Ana had left after eating dinner in the hospital room and she was left daydreaming while staring at the clear, black, summer sky outside of her window.  That moment was peaceful; there weren't nurses walking in and out of the room, Ana wasn't asking a million questions about the past, the guys weren't chattering off and making noise through the phone. Just, silence. And she enjoyed it.

But thinking back on the loud day, she saw herself in those moments, surrounded by all that noise and chatter, and yet, she wasn't bothered by it. Ana's constant, "Do you remember..?" and the guys’ laughter and random comments, though she never felt the urge to respond to any of it, she was...comfortable. Yes, in those moments, she was at ease even though there was just so much...noise.

The craters on the milky moon began to blur into a single blob as she thought more about it.  She blinked a couple times and turned her attention to the surrounding stars; still, she enjoyed her solitude more.

A playful ring began to echo softly in the room. Tori turned to the phone that was charging on the bedside table and picked it up.  It was a Google Hangout call from Jinyoung. She answered it and saw four of the five guys huddled around on her large Samsung screen.

"Ahnyoung~" They all sang.

"Nuna, nuna, we finished our concert soo well today~ It was awweessoommmeee!" Gongchan shared his success like a child would to his parent.

"Jinyoungie hyung went to take a shower so we stole his tablet to call you hehe" Sandeul said while fixing his hair. "Why is it so dark, though?" he peered closer at the screen, "were you sleeping?"

She saw her dark image outlined by the moonlight in the corner of the screen and the lamp beside her, revealing her face.

"Ah, sorry if we woke you" CNU apologized, leaning in to squish Sandeul closer to Baro, "these kids just wanted to say goodnight."

"You never know, she could have been waiting for us!" Baro held Sandeul in a chokehold. "But, you know...Sandeulie kept saying that he wished Tori was here to watch the show so blame him for making us miss her."

Sandeul waved his arms in the air, "Ahni-ya!" He tried to lean closer to the camera but Baro pulled him back, "You make me sound weird like that! Tori-ya, don't misunderstand!" He shouted as he continued to struggle in the pretend wresting match with Baro.

"What are you guys doing?" A muffled voice came from a distance.

"Hyung!" Gongchan welcomed Jinyoung to the couch with open arms.

Jinyoung gave him a side hug, "you guys doing something weird on my tablet?" he said as he leaned over to see what was going on, "oh? It's Tori."  His hand was rubbing a towel over his wet hair.

Gongchan pat Jinyoung's back and made room on the couch by sitting on the floor, "say hi."

He sat down and waved, "It's already past 11. Why are you kids bothering her?"

Sandeul shooed away Jinyoung's comment and turned the tablet closer to himself, "Tori-ya! Our show was soo fun! You should have seen it! The stage was small but all the fans that came out made it feel like we were in a giant venue! And at the end, the fans set up a surprise for us; there was a huge 'BBANG!' that blew confetti all over the place! My insides almost fell out when I heard it, but it was AMAZING!" He took a deep breath and sighed, "Man, it would have been great if you were here too."

The guys were watching him amusedly and Baro burst out laughing, "Tori, this is what he was like all day. You should be careful; he might start missing you too much!"

Sandeul jumped onto Baro, "Don't say that! You make me sound like a creep!"

"It's the truth though!" Baro continued to .

"Guys" Someone called them from the background, "let’s talk for a sec," InRo's voice came closer to the camera, "Oh? Hi Tori-ssi." His head popped in from the top corner of the screen, "Sorry, I'm going to have to steal the guys for a bit." He turned his attention to the guys, "we should talk about our plans for tomorrow."

"Don't we have the day off?" Baro asked.

"Yeah, but we planned for good weather and I just heard that there might be a storm sometime in the afternoon so let's find a plan B just in case of bad weather."

Sandeul turned to the camera, "Sorry Tori. Let's talk another time."

CNU hugged Sandeul from behind, "Aw, don't be too sad." He teased.

The guys passed the tablet around, saying goodbye individually.  Jinyoung was the last to receive it, "We'll talk later if you're still awake."

"Eyy~ it’s already 11:30. She'll be in bed by the time we finish." InRo chimed in, "Sorry Tori-ssi, we'll talk to you tomorrow!"

They said a final goodnight and the call ended.

---

After they finished planning an in-door excursion, Jinyoung and CNU returned to their room and they headed straight for their beds, finally feeling the exhaustion from the long day.

Within a few minutes, CNU was fast asleep but Jinyoung was still staring at the ceiling.  He turned to the side and picked up his tablet, "perhaps some music will help me sleep," he thought.

He swiped the screen, revealing the google hangout screen from earlier in the night. "That’s right. We were talking to Tori before..." he scrolled down the page to find her name. Her status icon suddenly turned from yellow, idle, to green, available. "Oh?" he opened the chat box.

---

Tori was turning back and forth on the bed, not being able to fall asleep and decided to turn on some music. When she unlocked her phone, she received Jinyoung's message: 'Still awake?'

She rubbed her eyes to adjust to the brightness of her phone.  She stared at his message for a bit: the characters on the screen seemed foreign, yet she knew what it said- why is that?  She tilted her head and thought harder, how does she know Korean? After all, she was in America until just a few weeks ago.  Ana said something about her being in Korea before. But, she doesn't remember anything like that. No one other than Ana and the guys come to see her in the hospital; if she lived in Korea, she would have had friends that remember her, right? What happened before that day she woke up in the hospital?  All the things Ana talks about, were they all really memories from here?

Her thoughts began to spiral as she tried harder to remember something that told her who she was, or is.  Her head began to throb and the familiar feeling of hyperventilation came about, just like in her therapy sessions with Dr. Jang.

She dropped the phone and leaned forward on her arms, coughing and gasping for air.  She could hear the doctor's voice in the back of her head, almost like a recording, saying what he usually says when she gets an attack; "It's okay, Tori-ssi. Take it slow. Don't need to push yourself too hard. Take a deep breath, and count to ten with me... one...two... three...."

"Uh... hello?"

The muffled voice brought her thoughts to a halt.  She looked down at her right hand and saw that she was leaning on the phone.  She pounded her chest a couple times, taking a couple deep breaths and picked up the phone.  Jinyoung was looking around curiously on the screen.  She the table lamp to reveal her face and Jinyoung's expression showed relief.

"Are you okay? I heard you coughing...”

She looked away from the screen, clearing while trying to catch her breath, “What’s wrong with me?” this was the first time such a thought occurred to her.  For the past few weeks, it seemed rational to be afraid and it was those that were noisy and foreign to her that were strange. But, for the first time, she felt there was something wrong.  After all, why would a perfectly healthy individual be living in the hospital and be too afraid to go outside to face the world?

"What happened? You don't look so well..."

She turned her attention to Jinyoung and tried to keep a calm composure, but was still taking short, deep breaths, “I’m fine.”

His brows furrowed, he wanted to pursue the issue further but decided not to, “Why are you still up? It’s pretty late.” Seeing her in no mood to respond, he continued, “You couldn’t sleep either?”

“Yeah.” She looked like she was trying hard not to think about something, or at least, get caught thinking about it.

“Want me to play something for you, then?” He suggested with a cheeky grin.

She didn’t agree, but didn’t want to say no either.

He chuckled and the option to share his screen before going to his piano app.  “What do you want to listen to?” He asked, even though he knew she wouldn’t answer him. He played around with a couple chords, “how about I show you a song I’ve been working on?”  Tori laid on her side, feeling much calmer and watched the buttons on the keyboard bounce up and down as he began to play a simple tune.

---

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door sliding open.  She turned to see Ana skipping into the room.

“Unnie!” Seeing Tori look at her as she entered, she rushed toward the windowsill where she was sitting. “Do you recognize me? Do you know who I am? You just looked at me when I came in. Does that mean you’re acknowledging me?”

Tori stared up at Ana, who was now towering over her, “what is this girl talking about? Of course I recognize her… what other girl has been hanging around me for the past month? I may not remember anything from before the hospital, but that doesn’t mean I have short term memory.”

Ana continued to stare down at her friend, hoping for a response, but Tori just turned her head back to the window.

Ana’s smile didn’t fade; she turned around to adjust the eating table attached to the bed and slid it closer to the head of the bed, “Unnie, I need to head to work now, so I can’t eat breakfast with you today.  She was pulling out pastries and bread from the Paris Baguette bag in her hand and putting it on the table.

“Man. I was rushing so much this morning, I forgot that I needed to use the bathroom” she gave Tori a cheeky smile, “I’ll be back.” She ran off to go use the public bathroom down the hall.

Tori examined the contents on the table; hot dog bun, croissant, melon bread, mocha bread, and peanut bread.  “Does she expect me to eat one every hour?”  She peered into the bag abandoned on the bed; a bottle of water was all that was left in it, “Always giving too much and saving nothing for herself.” She threw in the melon bread and hot dog bun, “At least save the ones you like for yourself.”

She took a seat on the bed and began to nibble on the croissant.

Ana returned with her eyes on her watch, “Ahh, sorry unnie, I gotta go.” She picked up the bag from the end of the bed and smiled at the sight of Tori eating. “Make sure you eat everything.  I’ll see you tonight!” and she skipped out of the room.