The sun. It looks warm today. But the tree looks cold: the way the wind keeps blowing its leaves. What must that tree be thinking? Is it upset that its branches keep moving according to the wind’s will? Or is it enjoying the movement of swaying? The wind seems gentle enough to not be angry at. Like a friend that’s come to play. Is that what they’re doing? Playing?

“Unnie…” Her voice was an echo in the background of the music playing.

Her face appeared before me. What is she doing?

I sat up and there were more faces, unfamiliar faces, in the room. Why?

I looked at the first one closest to the girl. He said hello: do I know him? Why does everyone seem to know my name, but me?

The next guy. Is a child. He smiled like a little boy and he called me… what? Nuna?

The next one: shy. I’ve seen him before. His voice: familiar. That awkward smile…

“Hyung~ She’s still looking at you~” That voice. I know it. It vibrates in my ears like I’ve heard it recently.

“Ahnyeong~” He and the other one said with child-like smiles.

They’re not frightening. Their smiles don’t bother me. But, why?

I looked at the girl, Ana I think her name was. She always had such tired smiles. The doctors smiled creepily. The nurses were always annoyed. But, these boys had different smiles.

The first one sat down next to me. I watched him as he spoke with the other people who went to sit on the couch behind me. His voice was low and he kept clearing his throat. He finally looked at me through his circle-shaped glasses.

He cleared his voice again, “Ahnyeong~” he said through an uncomfortable smile that showed his slightly buck teeth, while waving his hand slightly. “I-I’m CNU” he pat his chest lightly with his hand, “uh… and…” He chucked awkwardly and mumbled, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

Watching him fumble over his words made my nerves of having so many people in the room relax a bit. They weren’t threatening.

“Um… I don’t know if I should ask this… but how old are you this year?” He looked at his fingers that were fidgeting around and back at me, “I’m not sure if you’re older than me… should I be speaking formally? Should I be calling you nuna?”

The people behind me were whispering amongst themselves, and I heard someone say “Ya… speak louder. She probably can’t hear you even though she’s sitting in front of you.”

He cleared his voice again, and was about to try again.

His eyes were glancing at me and then away, and looking at the bed and up again. Watching his nervous actions, I felt light on the inside and without warning, I felt myself smiling.

“Oh?” He sat up in excitement, “she’s smiling!” he watched me and settled himself down to continue the conversation, “Tori-ssi? How old are you this year?”

Does he expect me to talk to him? But, I don’t know him. I have nothing to say to him. Is this small talk? Why would I need to make small talk with someone?

“She’s 24 this year” Ana said from the other side of the room.

How does she know that? I’m not 24… I’m… I’m….

“Oh… her brows are furrowing…. So she’s listening to what we’re saying, right?” CNU said.

I don’t even know how old I am… What… what…

Gongchan came over to the chair and pulled CNU out of the seat, “Hyung~ Sandeul-hyung is recalling you. It’s my turn.”

He sat down and smiled at me. He said a bunch of things and asked a bunch of questions. He kept calling me nuna and raising his brow as if waiting for me to respond. He made a few faces and gestures, which I had to smile at because it was so random.

“oh~ She’s smiling!” He said in achievement, “Ana nuna said that you haven’t smiled in a month. That’s not good for your face muscles~ You must stretch them and smile more, neh nuna?”

Nuna... that means older sister.

“Sandeulie hyung~ your turn!” Gongchan jumped up from the seat and handed it over to the next person.

He was fixing his hair as he sat down. He smiled widely and cleared his voice, “uhm… Hi Tori-ssi. I’m Sandeul. We’re the same age this year…so, is it okay that I speak pan-mal to you?”

Pan-mal? Speech… lower his speech?

“Well, you’re not answering so I’m going to take that as agreement okay?” He said, “Tori-ya… Why do you worry your dong-seng so much? You shouldn’t be like this, ara-ji? Your dong-seng thinks you’re just in your own world. And that’s fine, but just come out soon, ara-ji? Mm…” He looked upward to think of something to say.

“Yesterday~~~” Came mumbling through the headphones I was holding.

Something inside of me jumped. Without thinking I pulled the plug out and let the music play on the speaker.

"Oh? That's our song..." Sandeul said in surprise.

I looked at him, trying to figure out why I did that. Was it recognition? What did the song remind me of?

The rap part came on and Baro began rapping with it, walking over to where Sandeul was sitting. He continued to rap while looking at me and Sandeul moved back and forth with the beat. They watched me as if expecting me to react somehow.

His rap was exactly the same. Sandeul began to sing the chorus with the phone.

"O-" They sound exactly the same.

The room got silent except for the song playing on the phone.

"Unnie...." I heard Ana and the couch behind me rustled.

"You heard it too, right?" Sandeul asked Baro quietly. Baro nodded.

I know who they are now. No wonder they seemed familiar. B1A4. That's who they are. They sing the songs I've been listening to the past couple weeks.

Ana rushed over to my bedside, "Unnie... what did you just say?"

Say? I didn't say anything.

"Ana-ssi. You heard it too, maj-ji? She said 'oh' just now." Sandeul said to her.

What are they talking about? Why is she close to me? Why are they staring?

"Ana-ssi. Maybe you should tell the doctor. She doesn't seem very comfortable with us being so close." Baro pulled her slightly by the arm; her eyes were red and teary.

My heart became heavy again and it was hard to breath. I looked away from her and turned to see the other men behind me, standing up from their seats. Too many people. There are too many people.

My head began to hurt and I closed my eyes, cringing in pain.

"Omo! Waegeulae (what's wrong)?" I heard Jinyoung's voice.