*I had a really rough day. At least I could always find solitude and company here. Thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate everything.*

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This chapter is fully written in Jiyong's pov.

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Seungri said he is such a coward, a loser for leaving Korea and leaving friends and leaving Seunghyun for good without goodbye. Seungri, another Korean guy whom happened to be his bestfriend eversince he started a new life here. Seungri has been not only his roommate for years but also the realist best friend he ever had. The way he always cussed Jiyong when he made mistake was really helpful for Jiyong to get better. Seungri helped and stayed with him through tick and thin.

They were such a duo, Seungri works as an art director at MOMA and Jiyong works as creative director at Bazaar. Jiyong always found Seungri as someone he could totally lean on, it's like having an older brother despie the fact that Seungri is two years younger than him. Sometimes they end up collaborating and helping each other's out cos you know how fashion and art might go well together. 

It's been 5 years since Jiyong left Korea to LA. 

It's been three and a half year since he last saw Seunghyun at the hospital.

It's been 3 years since the uni's graduation that he didn't attend.

It's been 7 years since he first became friends with Seunghyun. And it's been exactly 7 years that he's been captivated by him that he end up hating himself silently for that. And he has been thinking about said particular person since forever.

People said love last only seven years. Cause in those seven years, you started forgetting about every details and every moments. Human's brain is not as strong as the heart. If so, cos Jiyong's heart still beating an awfully lot faster when Seungri kept nagging him and asking him about Seunghyun in these past hours.

Working as an creative director at a Bazaar - has it's own advantages, Jiyong thought. His job doesn't make him stay 9-5 in front of the office desk and Jiyong is glad for that. He is working for a new November project for Bazaar, this time the deputy editor came up with art x fashion theme. So Jiyong has been putting a lot of thoughts into it until it hits him that his roommate/bestfriend actually an art director at MOMA so he decided to bring a new life by making a duet project MOMA x Harper's Bazaar : An Exhibition. 

In the morning he could grabbed coffee and replying emails, in the afternoon he and Seungri strolled at art galleries looking for paintings and other artsy things and by the end of the evening Seungri usually secured 5 until 7 painting deals. Today is his lucky day, Jiyong had been working side by side with Seungri today and thanks to Seungri's high level of self-marketing and his own excellence at research. They sealed the exhibition deal after the two hours meeting. They worked extremely well when they're together.

They signed up with 3 major street artists, Seungri end up sold 5 paintings and ready to start an annual painting exhibitions curated by the MOMA this time colaborating with Harper's Bazaar themed in when fashion marrying art. Perhaps today is his luckiest day after all, never he thought his bestfriend could be this damn useful. 

He was exhausted but happy so he took Seungri to a kbbq joints as a congratulatory dinnerfor both of them. October night was really humid, at times like this Jiyong usually prefer to enjoy chinese at home and spoiled himself with a hot bath but he wants to sincerely thanks Seungri for his help. 

"What is this Kwon Jiyong, you're not being subtle aren't you?" 

"Just enjoy the meat would you, ."

"Sure, since you pay, I might as well eat till I puke right?" "Maam, please give us 2 more servings of bbq and 2 bottles of soju."

And all Seungri can heard was Jiyong's set of curses afrerwards. 

It was always like this. They would eat together before going home and when Jiyong was tired enough to go out after work, Seungri would call chinese delivery and they'd talked. Jiyong was never an open book but he trusts Seungri and they always so open about everything about each other. Seungri is the 2nd closest friend that he had after Seunghyun. It was easier with Seungri, cause  he had no feelings for him so they were never awkward with each other and Jiyong also doesn't need to cut people off anymore. 

Alcohol hits his system and suddenly he found him self wondering.

Life is good right now, Jiyong thinks.

But he can't help but wonder what'll happen if Seunghyun is still in the picture. 

"You miss him, don't you?" 

He didn't answer, Seungri knew the truth. He's still wondering and torturing himself with "what if".

What if his mom never did that to Seunghyun?

What if his mom actually stop judging his friends?

What if he and Seunghyun worked out? Will they still be friends? Will they be lovers?

Jiyong might never know. Cause just like how Seungri described him, he is a coward.

"He is my greatest regret, Seungri. Seunghyun is my greatest regret."

"C'mon tell me about it. You know how I still wonder why your mom did that to Seunghyun though, when he was nothing but being kind to you?"

"Well my mom, my parents thinks that I got worse because I'm befriend with these kids back then in Korea, my mom thought that friends made me like that."

"Made you depressed and wanted to die?"

"Yeah."

"Do you hmm still wanted to?"

"With this high paying job? Of course not. Now that my parents is out of the picture. I am glad that they gave me the freedom to live a life that I always wanted. I've been working a job that I love at the field that I love. Surrounded by people that I adore. I functioned well, Seungri. I get better, but at times like this, it still hits me. I wonder why."

"I guess you are one of those highly functioning people with demons around you, you know? You had dark thoughts but you didn't let it get you. You know I am proud of you, don't you."

"Yes, mom."

"Shut up. And if it's torture you that much, just plucked up the courage to call or contact Seunghyun, can you? Just call and asked how he's been. You were a good friends after all."

Jiyong let out a deep sigh.

This is the least thing he wanted to do cos he's afraid. 

What if Seunghyun forgot?

What if Seunghyun hated him?

"I can't, Seungri. You know that."

"Let's take your depressed home, okay? I'll make you coffee."

"Okay."

They walked side by side to their apartment. Later that night Jiyong dreamt of Seunghyun,  greeting him with a ice americano and smiling so ing bright. And then he woke up feeling like total .