He doesn't and won't undestand how does it works

Relationship and all of those fluffy

How can you find the right one when he can't even find him self some wrongs?

How can you know and believe that there is one particular person that is destined to spent his/her life for you.

It doesn't make sense.

It's ridiculous.

It doesn't make sense.

Until he met that man.

The man of his dreams.

Choi Seunghyun, an mvp player at this field, you can tell. Girls and boys are all over him. He is famous and brilliant and dress too well and most importantly, he made Jiyong at ease, he made Jiyong want things that he shouldn't want, he made Jiyong almost believe in destiny and soulmate, almost. Seunghyun is Jiyong's greatest regret. Seunghyun is Jiyong's greatest almost. Seunghyun is the only person that Jiyong want to be with. That Jiyong want to be in love with. So when Suenghyun decided that Jiyong is just nothing but a mere part of his part, when he is a book of Jiyong's life. Both in past, present, and he also want a present of Seunghyun in his future. He knew it, all to well, that he ed up real bad, again this time. He ed up. He didn't know what to do. With this thing. He was afraid and terrified of what ifs. He didn't know why Seunghyun did that.

Why Seunghyun keep talking to him at school when no one did that to him. No other boy talked to him and looked at him in the eye quite like Seunghyun did. And Seunghyun did that every morning, everyday. It's always like that, and Jiyong has no heart to ignore this man until one day he is so tired. He is tired of this bull. Of him having a huge crush for Seunghyun and that man is just playing with him. Flirting and smiling and looking at him in the eyes and then smile all dimples were showing. Nothing.

Jiyong is tired with this.

With all of his insecurities and fears.

Jiyong is tired of having second thoughts and high hopes.

Jiyong is tired of Seunghyun's mixed signals.

Jiyong is tired of this whole of uncertainty.

He is a master in unrequited love. 

And Seunghyun is his greatest one, greatest unrequited love.

Little did he knew that Seunghyun loved him too, that Seunghyun wanted to protect him from all of his insecurities and his own demons and he wanted to erase Jiyong's scars and Seunghyun wanted to touch caress his cheeks every morning when he saw Jiyong at class, all alone waiting for the clas to start, because he know Jiyong is a loner. Not in a bad way, but he knew that Jiyong is fragile, that Jiyong is moody, that Jiyong is kind, that Jiyong is brilliant, that he want this Jiyong. He wanted to make this Jiyong happy. That he knew all to well that he want to be with this Jiyong. But he is afraid, he is afraid too as much as Jiyong fell.

We were so ed up.

You ed up.

I ed up.

We are a mess that never endings.

He has no idea to what to do with Jiyong.

It's like Jiyong has alter egos.

One when he's okay, one when he's not.

He knew all to well that most of Jiyong's days, if he want to be honest with him self, it was always not okay.

So he made sure that Jiyong knew that he care.

That's why he always approached and sit by Jiyong when he was alone with his laptop at the cafe shop at their school with his cappucino, sometimes it's tea, sometimes it's mocha, sometimes it's milo.

But now, It's always been black coffee.

Black coffee with no cream and no sugar.

It's happening, Seunghyun tought.

Jiyong is flipping away.

2 years of school. And Seunghyun keeps doing it. Said hi first, smiled first, talked first, he waited waited and waited. Until Jiyong speak up. Until Jiyong asked him things too. Until Jiyong smile back.

Seunghyun knew all to well that it's eating Jiyong alive.

The darkness, he knew that it's taking it's toll for Jiyong and he want to help and ease the pain.

But he has no power and right, because they're just friends, not even close. They're just keep talking that's all. Most of their conversations were always from Seunghyun. Seunghyun was Jiyong's first friend at school. Jiyong was Seunghyun's first friend too. Little did Jiyong know what he was Seunghyun's first too. First love. 

He was always watching, watching Jiyong.

He smiled and laughed when Jiyong did.

He was there when Jiyong was having difficulties with some of his subjects.

And he knew that the blackness is rising, it's eating Jiyong's soul.

He forgot and lost count on how much he hate it to see Jiyong like this because he can't do anything with it.

He can't forget the looks on Jiyong's face. He's getting skinier, his bones are showing, he's wearing black, he's not eating well, he's been puking at the toilet, and the worse of it all is that Jiyong has no spark at his eyes, not anymore.

Jiyong was bright when they first met. 

That Jiyong smiled a lot and laughed a lot.

That Jiyong ate a lot.

He remember that he took Jiyong to eat donuts and frozen yoghurt during their break.

Turns out it was the first time for Jiyong to eat frozen yoghurt.

He remember Jiyong's pained face when he said "it's too sour"

so he screwed it off with saying

"How come you didn't know about it? It's yoghurt, it's originally sour and you're adding kiwi, you're making it worse."

"You are the worse one" Jiyong said.

And they laughed at that.

He hope Jiyong knew how much he want to say that Jiyong again.

The friendly and happy Jiyong.

He made sure Jiyong can understand and catch it that he is care and he want to be there for him.

Years passed and Jiyong is getting bad.

The darkness is his only friend.

He is always alone, he didn't see people's eyes anymore, he is just walking and walking.

He is a dead man trapped in a living body.

"Are you okay?"

"What's wrong"

Seunghyun always said.

"Nothing."

Jiyong said.

"It's okay, nothing."

Jiyong looked up at him, and he smiled.

At least he made Jiyong smiled, eventhough he knew nothing is alright for Jiyong.

But he wish he can make it right, for Jiyong.

He want to do it.

He want Jiyong to be happy again.

He can't understand what is it that going on with Jiyong.

All he knew is that Jiyong is being ignoring him.

When he was him, he pretends that he didn't see him, and walk it off.

He pretends that Seunghyun was nothing.

He pretends that Seunghyun was not there.

He pretends that he doens't know Seunghyun.

He hope Seunghyun knew that he can't take anymore heartbreak.

He can't stay being friends with Seunghyun when the only thing that he's been wanting to do is to give the man all of the things he deserves, for all of the love that he deserves, for all of the hugs that he deserves.

How can you befriend with someone you long the most?

Jiyong is so full of him self that he thought Seunghyun is actually like him back.

Seunghyun was being his usual friendly and playful self that's all.

No way in hell, Seunghyun can fall for him

Sad, isn't it?

That Jiyong can't realize it that after all this time, Seunghyun's has been there to prove it all to him that he care that he also want Jiyong, that he was desperately want to be with Jiyong. 

That's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

For all of the things I wanna say just don't coming alright

I don't know where to go from here.