I should have known that this was too good to be true. Nothing lasts forever but if it never happens you don’t have to worry about losing it. But honestly I wish I could just forget this whole thing ever happened. Who was I kidding believing that just maybe Jessica and I had a shot at being anything more than sisters? Sulli was right in the end we are sisters not lovers it could never work out between us. Even if she understood about me being in love with my sister that didn’t mean other people wouldn’t have a problem with it.

With a heavy sigh I flop down on the sofa outside of the bedroom. Thinking about how everything that was wrong wasn’t going to do anything other than make me miserable. It’s been a long night and I’m exhausted; some sleep would probably do me some good anyway.

To my dismay I woke up only a few hour later at 6:42 am. Groaning I hauled myself off the sofa and towards the bedroom. I stopped at the door. I couldn’t help but think about what I should say to Jessica if she were even awake. Shaking the thoughts from my head I gently pushed the door open and crept inside.

I noticed immediately she had her back to the door preventing me from seeing whether or not she was awake. So I made my way around to the other side. No surprise the she was still out like a light. I can’t really blame her though for being so tired after everything that’s happened.

I won’t deny it I’m still incredibly angry and hurt by what she tried to do. But I still love her; and I know I always will.

I sat on the floor next to the bed resting my hands on top of hers.

“Sooyeon, I really hate you for tagging along on this trip.”

“You couldn’t just let me go and forget about all of this .”

“Do you know how much it hurts me knowing that you had made a decision before we even left?”

“I love you more than anything in this world. So much so that the thought of not being with you kills me.”

“But I was will to live a life a misery if it meant that you would be happy.”

“Stupid…how could you be so stupid Soojung?” I was startled by the sound of her voice and attempted to pull back, but her hands held my own in place.

“Do you really think I could be happy without you by my side?” Her eyes locked with mine but I looked away.

“We can never be together, not really,” I meet her eyes briefly once more, “You know that.”

My words come out bitterly and full of anguish. I wish I could be angry I really do but I can’t really blame her for what she did. All she wanted was for me to find another source of happiness. But she’s the only one for me; without her everything seems dark.

To say I could live without her would be a lie. I’d be alive physically but without her by my side I’d be otherwise empty. I would have no reason.

“Stop thinking about everything else.” I could her the frustration in Jessica’s voice.

“I know what I did was wrong but what I did is my burden to bare not yours to dwell on.”

“How am I not supposed to think about it?” I hissed furiously meeting her gaze.

“Have you even thought about how hard this is for me?! I’m your older sister I’m supposed to protect you and keep you safe! Yet here I am desperately trying to keep myself from hurting and corrupting you with this tainted love!” She sat up letting go of my hands.

“But if I love you too the how wrong can it be?” I felt like I was fighting a losing battle, if only she would listen to me.

“You’re my sister! We share the same parents, the same blood! Everything about this is wrong!” Tears were streaming down her face as she shouted at me.

“If love is love then why can’t I love you?”

“Becau-”

“Don’t you dare try to tell me that you don’t love me the same!” I snarled pinning her down.

I could see the conflict in her eyes I knew she was trying frantically to somehow detour me from my love towards her. And maybe before I knew she felt the same I would have fallen for it but not anymore.

“Soojung…”

“Don’t, just don’t” It’s still early and I’m beat, I’m so tired of fighting. Jessica could see it too, how much of a toll all of this was taking on me.

Her expression softened and all the tension that had been there moments before seemed to dissipate. She leaned in kissing my forehead whispering sorry before pulling me down into her arms.

“I’m sorry too,” I say burying my face into her shoulder.

Relaxing into her embrace I relished in her warmth allowing myself to succumb to the sleep my body so badly needed.

A/N: It’s been forever and I pretty sure my writing has suffered for it. I hope this is okay. I still kind of have writer’s block so I don’t really know when I’ll update again. Thanks for reading.