“Son Haerin, get over here,”

Haerin clenches her jaw at her uncle’s voice the moment she gets home.  It had been an amazing day; Kyungsoo’s house, eating out with Yunjae, walking around the parks and streets and window-shopping.  It was late and Haerin realizes that the growing churn in her stomach had been her fright of coming home.  “Get upstairs,” She looks at Yunjae, who does as he is told.  Turning towards the living room, she quietly answers.  “Yes?”

“Where is my beer?”

“In the fridge, uncle,”

He chuckles, lifting his eyes lazily to glare at his niece.  “Why don’t you take a look at the fridge,”

Haerin opens the fridge and the absence of the clinking from the swing of the door made her heart sink.  “,”

“Cursing, now?” Haerin yelps as her uncle yanks her back by her hair, the pain stinging her head.  “Your job was simple; keep the house clean and get me my beer, and after all I’ve done for you, you can’t even do that?”

Growling, Haerin pulls away and hisses.  “Why can’t you stop doing that?” She cries in pain when again, he hits her in the face.  “You can just talk to me, doesn’t that work for you?”

Haerin lifts her hand to shield her face from the next blow, only to hold back a scream when her uncle twists her arm, painfully close to the point of popping her joint.  “It doesn’t,” He lets go and watches Haerin’s body meet the edge of a table before falling down onto the ground.  “Why didn’t you stop that car from hitting your parents? From hitting Gayoon? Why did they have to die instead of you?!”

The sound of her mother’s name in her hears wrenches her heart.  “You know I-“ Haerin swallows a lump climbing up .  “You know I couldn’t do that,”

Her uncle’s expression shifts to a sorrow so painful it hurt Haerin to look at.  He turns away without a word. 

With her good hand, Haerin texts Yunjae, telling him that she’s going out for a while and told him to not look for her.  She cradles her hand as she runs out to the dark, abandoned park 10 blocks away from her house.  Haerin always goes there whenever she wanted to be alone.  It was always quiet and the darkness assured her solitude; nobody could see her and she couldn’t see anybody

She might be numb when it comes to her uncle.  But her parents? It was always a complete paradox.  If she had crossed over instead of them, she would be dead.  That would be so much better than having them die.  But if she had crossed over, Yunjae would have died as well.  It’s the tightness of the situation that she couldn’t fathom.  The fact that her parents’ death was inevitable and that it was bound to happen.  She couldn’t go anywhere and she couldn’t deny anything from the bleakness of that tragedy.  It hurt, to be constantly reminded of the way that car ran over them, the way their blood pooled at the street, the way their smiles disappeared, replaced by the white faces of death.

Her fist meets the rough bark of a tree.  She dismisses the pain every time a splinter pierces her skin and keeps on a steady pace of hurting the plant, as if it would help ease her own pain.  The pain of her body and the pain of her mind. 

“Whoa, whoa, miss, you’re hurting yourself,”

Haerin’s punches stop immediately at the stranger’s voice.  Her breath is irregular and although her head is lowered, her eyes scan her surroundings.

“That must have hurt, I think we can help ease the pain,” Another one said, footsteps rustling in the grass.  Their laughter rings out in the air.

‘God damn it, why now?’  She thinks.  Never in all the years she’s been living with her uncle did she encounter such a situation.  Alone in a dark park surrounded by 3 guys who meant her ill will.  “No, it doesn’t hurt, so leave me alone,” Haerin speaks up, trying to put up a tough front while dropping her hands.

She turns to leave but one of them grabs her arm.  Her bad arm.  “Doesn’t seem like it,” He chuckles when she hisses in pain.

Brushing him off roughly, Haerin snaps.  “Don’t touch me,”

“Feisty, I like her,”

One of them tsk tsk-s, while the other locks her hands behind her back, sending searing pain up her arm.  “But what we’re going to do to you, involves lots of touching,”

Haerin spits at him, looking at him with utter disgust.  “Screw you,”

The one guy, who hasn’t done anything yet, pulls something out of his back pocket and with an evident snap, catches Haerin’s attention.  “No,” He laughs, playing with the knife he now has in his hands.  “Screw you,”

Haerin loses her balance as the guy keeping her hands behind her back brings her down with him, burying his face by her neck from behind her.  As she opens to cry for help, the one facing her quickly squeezes her cheeks together, pushing a tongue into to shut her up.  The one with a knife starts tearing her clothes apart while he keeps her from thrashing about, up from the bottom of her trousers towards her shirt, his hands all over her body.

Tears start streaming down Haerin’s face.  From the pain, from disgust, from the lack of breath, from how inequitable everything was.  Why her? Of all people, why her?

Guess her uncle was right.  Her bark is bigger than her bite.  She could only lose.  She would always end up helpless.  And nobody will be there to help her.

“You son of a ,“

Haerin coughs out a sob when one of her assaulters gets thrown aside, freeing .  A voice so familiar calls out her name repeatedly and she tries to focus on his face, but her tears stopped her from knowing by sight.  The guy behind her pushes her aside and she rolls onto the ground, whimpering from the pain in her arms and leaving her unable to witness the fight going on.  The three men scatter away eventually, cursing, leaving Haerin with the shadow of their actions. 

“Haerin-ah, Haerin-ah,”

At the touch on her arm, Haerin flinches, jerking away.  She sits up and pushes herself backwards with her legs, away from whoever was calling her name so openly.  “Don’t touch me,” She shakes her head, mewling.  “Don’t touch me,”

“Son Haerin, look at me,”

A pair of strong hands stops her by her shoulders and Haerin shrinks at the touch, too weak to reject. 

She lifts her chin to meet the eyes of none other than Do Kyungsoo. 

The relief washes over her to see someone she knew, someone she recognized.  To know that she’s not alone took away all her worries in the blink of an eye.  “K-Kyungsoo, I-“

“Ssh,” He takes off his jacket and drapes it over her body.  He hooks his arm under her knees and hoists her up swiftly into his arms.  “We’re getting you to the hospital,”

At the mention of the place, Haerin lifts her hand to stop him, only to cry out in pain because she was lifting up the wrong arm.  She drops her hand as Kyungsoo meets her eyes in confusion.  “No, not the hospital,” Her words come out in short gasps.

“But-“

“Please,” She panics, breath hitching.  “Any- anywhere but the hospital.  I can’t- he can’t- he shouldn’t-”

“Okay, okay,” Kyungsoo shushes her, holding her gaze with a tenderness Haerin could only see in Yunjae’s eyes.  “Okay, we’ll go to my place,”

Kyungsoo averts his gaze from the body of the woman in his arms, barely covered by what’s left of her tattered clothes.  She seems so vulnerable and it felt like the slightest of the wrong touch would break her into pieces.  He tilts her shoulder a bit to let her rest her head at the crook of his neck. 

Haerin curls up into Kyungsoo, her words muffled and her voice cracking.  One of her hands is clutching at his shirt, holding on so weakly and yet so tightly at the same time.  “I was s-so scared,”

Kyungsoo finds himself holding on tighter to her as he makes his way towards his house.  “It’s okay, I’m here,”

***

“…rin, Haerin,”

Blinking repeatedly, Haerin fails to comprehend Kyungsoo’s words.  “What?”

“You should wash up,” He says for what seems like the tenth time.  He was worried sick, alright, and her acting this way isn’t helping.

“W-wash up?” Haerin frowns, accepting the stack of clothes Kyungsoo hands her.  “Why?”

"You'll feel better," Kyungsoo simply says.

Although in a daze, she enters the bathroom and Kyungsoo waits for the click of the lock that doesn’t come. 

“You should lock the door, Haerin,” He says through the door.

But she doesn’t.

Haerin numbly sets the set of pajamas down and strips herself out of her clothes.  She steps into the shower and turns the hot water on, full blast.  Her whole body stings with pain.  Her sprained elbow, her wounded hand, the little cuts all over her body, from the knife and hands of those men in the park.  The hot water made it worse, but she didn’t care.  She ignored the pain and started rubbing the grime off of her skin, escalating in vigor.  They were touching her.  They were in places nobody had ever dared to touch.  She wanted to be clean.  She wanted to forget.  She wanted to wipe off the traces of their touch from her skin.  But why isn’t it working? Why can’t she wash them off?

As she slams the heel of her hand onto the wall in building frustration, she cries out in pain and accidentally hits the button that switches the shower off.  Her hands fall limply onto her sides and opens in a soundless cry as she digs her nails into her arms, hugging herself while she sobs quietly.  She would never be able to forget.

Kyungsoo sighs and waits by the door for her to finish.  Earlier that night, Yunjae had texted him out of the blue and told him that Haerin left the house and hasn’t returned.  His heart palpitated immediately.  There were a lot of misspelled words in the text and Kyungsoo perceived it as Yunjae’s anxiety.  He told Kyungsoo, too, about the places she could probably be and he flew out of his own door in no time, in search of the boy’s sister. 

And then he saw her in that park, with those guys.  At the sight, Kyungsoo’s adrenaline coursed through his veins, powered by his anger and hate.  He rushed over and yelled, catching their attention and then fighting them off.  They were fighting back, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.  Aside from the punch he earned by his eye and the wound at the base of his neck, already caked with dried blood by now, he was unharmed.  They ran away with their tails in between their legs in no time.  Cowardly dogs who didn’t know how to find somebody their own size.

But when his eyes find Haerin’s disheveled state, all his outrage went down the drain in a second.  He realized how much he had worried about her.  How much the fact that he was oblivious of her whereabouts was bothering him.  How he instantly rushed to be by her side and how making sure that she was safe was so important to him.  He didn’t know why.  There was just that something about her that made him do it.  

His head snaps up when the door to the bathroom opens and an improperly dressed Haerin steps out, her skin tinted red.  Steam flowed out of the bathroom and Kyungsoo realizes that she had been bathing in hot water.  She was cradling one arm with a scarred hand and there was a purple bruise on her face.  His mother’s pajamas, short-sleeved with pants that fell to her knees, showed him the severity of the cause of her pain.  Her legs and arms were covered in thin cuts that must have stung so much and fresh blood was still oozing out of some.

Haerin felt under Kyungsoo’s gaze, as she always does.  She looks away from his scrutiny and draws back when his hand hovers around her.  She notices him hesitate before he guides her slowly towards the living room, arms cradling her shoulders so carefully.  “Wait here,” He says.

A series of quiet clinking and clicking gets vaguely registered by Haerin’s consciousness and Kyungsoo is back with a first-aid kit in his hands.  Her legs jerk involuntarily when he touches it but Kyungsoo doesn’t stop.  He takes her leg by the ankle, setting it onto his knee, dabbing ointment onto her cuts.  The long ones and the short ones, caused by the tip of that wretched knife; he tended to all of it.  It was so different; the way his fingers graze over her legs gently and with control, the way he wasn’t rough handling her, the way he was simply saying nothing, concern etched in his handsome features.  She just watched, and inside, she knew that she was relishing in the consolation given by his mere presence, and drowning in his compassionate behavior.

Kyungsoo edges forward and takes her hand gently, setting it on his.  He takes out the splinters before applying antiseptic and wrapping her whole hand with a bandage.  When he lifts her other arm, Haerin’s breath evidently hitches and he looks up to meet her eyes.  “Where does it hurt?”

Wordlessly, Haerin points at her shoulder and Kyungsoo pauses.  Her shoulder joint is sprained.  He should rub oil over it before wrapping it tightly and having her arm in a sling, but that should involve the shedding of her clothes.  After what she’s been through; he wasn’t so sure about what he should do anymore.  “Haerin, do you have your undershirt on? A tank top of some sort?”

Haerin simply nods. 

“Do you- do you trust me?” His fingers hover over the buttons to her pajamas.  Haerin lifts her gaze to meet his eyes and although she said absolutely nothing, Kyungsoo takes it as a cue to proceed. 

That happens throughout Kyungsoo’s treatment.  He keeps asking for permission as he takes her arms out of one side to the pajamas, as he rubs oil over her shoulder, very tenderly as to not hurt her.  He asks whether it hurts or not as he wraps the bandage tightly around her joint area.  He guides her slowly to put her pajamas back on and lift her hand as he puts the sling over her head, letting her arm rest inside of it.  All Haerin did was listen to what she was told to do and nod.  She uttered not even a single word. 

Kyungsoo helps her lie down on the sofa and watches her unfeeling features.  She was at the brink of a fit of sobs and yet she stayed stoic.  She was shutting everything out, refusing to focus on anything.  Her expression twitches when he cups her cheek.  “You should get some sleep, Haerin,” He leans in to press his lips onto her forehead on impulse.  “Nobody is going to hurt you here, you’re safe now,” He looks straight into her eyes, and he meant what he said.

Her eyes slowly close, hot, fresh tears escaping the corners of her eyes.  She failed to fight against her will and find herself leaning into the warmth of Kyungsoo’s hand on her cheek.  Her head subtly nods as she breathes onto the palm of his hand.

Kyungsoo pulls away slowly to drape a blanket over her and sits on the floor beside the sofa, keeping a close watch on her face for any signs of unease, ready to fend off her fears.

As the night grew, so did something in the two friends who started off as acquaintances.