“Go home, Kim Jongin,” Kyungsoo slams his empty glass onto the table, startling the younger boy.  

Kai had taken Kyungsoo home, but not an hour later, when he started feeling really bothered about leaving Kyungsoo home alone after what happened and went back to check out on him, he found out that Kyungsoo had left again, and he figured, where else, if not the place that never checked their IDs; the one that let them order alcohol where he always went to in the past.  Kyungsoo had changed out of his uniform into a long-sleeved, black tee, and dark jeans.  Kai did too; he wasn’t that much of an idiot to go into a place like that with his uniform on and push his luck.  

“Hyung, that’s enough, let’s go home,” He tugs at Kyungsoo’s arm, backing away when he swings out to brush him off.

“I can get home by myself,” Kyungsoo snaps.  “Just go,”

“Noona told me to make sure you’re home safely, hyung,” Kai persists.  “And with you like this; I don’t think you’d get home safely on your own,”

“Haerin did, huh?” Kyungsoo inspects the newly filled glass in his hands and downs the contents in a shot.  “There I was, thinking that she wasn’t showing me enough affection when I’m the one who’s shallow about mine,” He chuckles as he fills up is glass again and throws his head back as he swallows with a sigh.  “She keeps on understanding me so well, it makes me think she doesn’t even want to fight for me,”

Kai had decided to sit down in front of him and listen to him ramble.  He knows well Kyungsoo’s current state of mind and gestures to the counter lady to get him two more bottles of alcohol, which is just at the brink of Kyungsoo’s tolerance level.  

“The weird thing is,” Kyungsoo looks at his palms and closes them before tucking them under his arms.  “I don’t even know why I’m acting like this,” He pours himself yet another glass before moving on with his monologue.  “I know Nara isn’t a good person; I mean, look at how she appeared before our eyes after a long time.  It’s been such a long, long, time since I last saw her that night, really.  She still looks the same.  Prettier, even.  It’s been years since she broke my heart and made a mess out of it.  I still can’t understand why though, and I still can’t get my mind straight around what had happened and I also still can’t tidy up my feelings.  Wow, I still can’t.  That’s really something, isn’t it? Do I still love her or something? No, no, I don’t, but do I still have feelings for her? Can’t say no to that if her mere appearance could- you know what I’m saying?” He grimaces at the burn in his throat as he gulps down another shot.  “But anyways, as naive as it sounds; doesn’t everybody have a good side to themselves? I mean, even someone like her could still be nice, right? Even after all she had done to me-“

“Hyung,”

“She should still have a good side to herself, right? Does everything we went through really was nothing to her? We laughed a lot and we really had a great time, back then.  Did she really mean what she did?”

“Hyung, wha-“

“Nobody could be that mean, right? It’s unreasonable.  Shouldn’t she do it because she had to? Maybe someone forced her to? I hadn’t done anything to her and yet she-“

“For ’s sake, hyung!” Kai grimaces in disgust.  “Are you kidding me?!”

Kyungsoo blinks at the way Kai curses and frowns.  “What?”

“I don’t know what the is wrong with you and your ing head, that’s what,” Kai reaches across the table and grabs the older male by the collar in frustration.  “But you better get your mind straight and ing think about Haerin-noona,” He growls.  “Don’t around with somebody else’s feelings, especially those who ing love you for real,” He spits and lets go too abruptly, Kyungsoo almost fell back onto the floor.

Kai storms outside of the place, fuming at his hyung’s behaviour.  He sighs heavily, runs a hand through his hair, turns back and forth and places his hands on his hips, finally looking far ahead at nothing in particular in an effort to calm his nerves.  The last time he saw Kyungsoo so messed up was back when Nara had broke his heart so mercilessly.  That was years ago.  It’s unbelievable how she can make a mess out of him in the blink of an eye.  He fishes his phone out of his pocket and presses number 6 on the speed dial.

When the phone is picked up shortly after the first dial tone, Kai bitterly chuckles.  “I knew you couldn’t get any sleep.  There’s a place by his house where he’s at.  I’ll text you the address and I’m sorry, but you’re the only one with enough patience to handle him.  I’ll wait until you get here and then I’ll just go home because I can’t ing stand him when he’s acting like ,”

***

Haerin slipped her arms into her cardigan as she flew out of her apartment building and onto a taxi towards the address Kai had sent her.  He sounded so angry over the phone, it scared her to find out what had happened to Kyungsoo.  Her heart had sunk at how much that woman could affect him and now, it sunk even deeper.  Kyungsoo is a person who doesn’t let go so easily, she knows that now.  Nara must be the girl he had told her about.  She couldn’t understand, though, because she, for one, was a person who could let go of things quickly and with ease.  But she’s going to try to understand.  For him.  Why? Why else?

The moment she gets off of the taxi, she finds Kai waving at her from afar.  Jogging over to him, she sees that he regrets calling her.  “I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have called you,” He says quietly.

“That’s okay, Kai,” Haerin pats his cheek.  “He’s in there?”

“Yeah,” As Kai answers, Haerin had already started walking by him towards where Kyungsoo is at.  He reaches out to stop her by the wrist and meets her eyes when she turns.  “He’s… drunk, okay, noona? He might say just about anything,”

Haerin hesitantly nods and starts to walk again, but Kai still held her back.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Kai sternly says, making sure that she’s looking at him when he’s saying it.  “Just, don’t take his words to heart, okay?”

“I get it, Kai, don’t worry,” She places her hand over his, making him let go as she sends him an assuring smile.  How bad can Kyungsoo get? “Go home and get some sleep, Kai,”

Very reluctantly, Kai gets onto the last bus and keeps his eyes trained on Haerin’s back as she makes her way into the place where Kyungsoo sits, drunk with alcohol and his own thoughts.

“Look who decided to show up!” 

Haerin grimaces when she sees Kyungsoo standing up from his seat, raising a bottle of alcohol into the air with one hand while the other points at her majestically.  “My girlfriend! My sweet, caring, understanding girlfriend!”

It’s a good thing that it’s late and that everybody in the place seems to be minding their own businesses, because Kyungsoo’s boisterous voice does nothing to bother them.  “Okay, that’s enough alcohol for you,” She tugs him back down onto his seat and wrenches the bottle away from his hand.

“Noooo,” He whines, pouting like a child who had just gotten his doll taken away from him.  “I want it baaaaack,”

A smile tugs at the corner of Haerin’s lip and she turns the bottle upside down.  “There’s nothing in it, see?” Turns into a child when he’s drunk, huh?

“Then I want you in exchange,” Kyungsoo leans in towards her, eyes hooded and words slurred.  Okay, no longer a child.

“God, you’re so drunk,” Haerin backs away at the smell of alcohol and stands up.  “Come on, let’s go home,” She slaps a wad of cash onto the table but before she could walk away, Kyungsoo forces her to sit back down.

“I still have another bottle, Hae,” He grins boyishly and pops the cap, wincing as he lets the liquid burn down his throat.  “You know, I don’t get you,”

Haerin frowns.  “Me?”

“Yeah, you, who else?” He lazily tilts his head and shrugs one shoulder.  “I don’t know, you’re just so weird.  How can you be so understanding? How can you be so merciful and how can you just accept whatever it is I do? Why do you believe in what I say so much? In my explanations, in my ways of reasoning? Why don't you ever ask me anything? What if the things I say were just lies that I say to cover up the truth? What if I’m just using them to wiggle out of every situation I find myself stuck in? Hae, do you even have feelings for me?”

“Wha-“

“I mean, you should fight for me, you know.  At least show me that you’re trying.  I don’t see that.  I just see that you’re going with whatever works and that you’re not even bothering for me.  You’re so soft on me.  Do you think that I would just come to you? Like a good pet that’s desperate for some loving?”

Haerin draws back at his harsh words.  When people are drunk, they tend to say things they hide.  Has Kyungsoo been thinking that way all along? Has he been faking his trust on her? Kai told her to not take his words to heart.  But knowing her feelings for him; how could she not? “Why am I suddenly the issue here?” She lashes back, using Kyungsoo’s drunken state back against him.  “You’re the one drinking yourself blind after you see that woman,”

“Woman?” Kyungsoo blinks.  “Oh, Nara,” He snaps his fingers.  “You know, as bad as you heard she was, as bad as you think she seems, people must have good sides to themselves, right? I mean, Nara must have a reason to everything.  You do, right? Then she must, too, right?”

So this is what Kai meant.  His expression had softened so much when that woman comes into the conversation that Haerin had to narrow her eyes at him, as if to get a better look at his face.  “Kyungsoo,”

“That’s my name!”

“I’m your girlfriend, right?”

“Correcto mundo!”

“But you still love her?”

“Lo- oh no, no, no, no!” He shakes his heads vigorously, as if unable to even say the word.  “I think I told you this already, I don’t love her, but I might still have feelings for her,” He nods.  “Or was that Jongin I was talking to? Anyways, yeah.  Because you know, back at that time, I didn’t get to sort out my feelings properly and just stashed her somewhere deep at the back of my mind.  Everything happened in a blur, so, you know what I’m saying? And then now, wham! She’s just there! I mean, out of nowhere, and as your neighbour! I mean, what kind of messed up fate is that?”

Haerin ignores the pain in her heart as she hears the word ‘fate’ and clenches her hands.  He’s still clinging on to his past like it was his present.  And heck; she’s not even in the picture here.  He’s drunk, Haerin.  He’s drunk and he’s not in the right state of mind.  Get him home, and you can talk to him when he’s sober.  “Let’s go home,” She stands up again and slaps a wad of cash onto the table, the bottles clinking as they rattle from the shaking.

Kyungsoo reaches out towards one of the half-filled bottles as Haerin pulls him out and away.  “No wait, let me bring that ho-“

“Don’t be a child,” Haerin snaps and she finds the real Kyungsoo looking at her with wide eyes, pleading for her to understand his situation.  He was weakly pulling back at her hand, as if begging for her to just let him lose himself, for tonight.  But Haerin was getting none of it.  He said she’s too soft on him? Then she’s going to be rough.  “You’re going home, and you’re going to wash up, and you’re going to wake up tomorrow and eat hangover soup.  You’re going to get sober, feel better, and you’re going to talk to me,”

He quickly returns to drunk Kyungsoo and brightens up.  “You’re going to make soup for me?”

“Your parents would kill you if they knew you were getting this drunk, even if you’re of legal age,”

“Yay!” He grins, swinging their hands back and forth as he skipped ahead.  “Go Haerin, go Haerin, go Hae-“

“Taxi!” Haerin stops him and pushes his head into the vehicle, handing the driver Kyungsoo’s address.  She figured that if he loses consciousness along the way, she’s not strong enough to carry him all the way home.  

***

It’s a good thing that Mr and Mrs. Do aren’t home, so Haerin takes out a duplicate of their house’s key from her wallet and pushes it in the lock, grunting her way inside with Kyungsoo draped over her shoulder.  “Come on, just a little bit more,” She strains in getting towards the living room where Kyungsoo practically drops dead onto the couch.

Her back cracks when she stretches and she texts Yunjae to tell him that she’s not going to be home.  She sits down on the couch opposite to Kyungsoo and hugs her knees as she watches him sleep.  “…ra, Nara..” She hears him mutter and she loudly clicks her tongue in annoyance.  

“Haerin, it’s Haerin, you idiot,” She raises her voice.

Kyungsoo frowns, but then his expression switches into a comfortable one.  “Hae,” He says, and then sighs a quiet, “Idiot,” before finally quieting down.

She eyes him and wonders how he can become such a child when he comes in contact with alcohol.  Haerin was sad, sure.  She was also angry and pissed.  She felt wronged.  He only met that woman, that Nara, for God’s sake.  He wasn’t even saying anything.  Why didn’t - no, why couldn’t he say anything when that woman was all over him and his girlfriend was standing beside him? Haerin knew that even she couldn’t deny the fact that he still does have feelings for Nara, even if it’s not love.  To be able to completely dismiss his girlfriend’s presence in front of a girl from his past was a clear definition of haven’t-gotten-over-her yet.

About her understanding for him; it was Haerin’s way of showing affection.  To her, being open-minded about your significant other’s condition and situation was one of the ways of affection.  To accept them for what they are and to hear out what they have to say, to forgive them and to let go of their mistakes.  She might not shower him with kisses or crush him with hugs, but she had a whole other way to show him that she cared deeply for him.  Guess he took it the wrong way.  He could have just said it, really.  Haerin groans in frustration as she drapes a blanket over him, angry at how she could want to hold on to him even when she knows that his heart wasn’t all hers.  Any other girlfriend would flip their and break up with him if they knew he wasn’t over someone else, but not Haerin. She’s not just any other girlfriend.  She’s still going to try and understand, the way she does it best.

Lying down on the other couch and setting her alarm for that hangover soup in the morning, Haerin looks up to the dark ceiling and as she starts slipping away into dreamland, lets herself ask a question she could not answer.

‘What if he’s actually still in love with Nara?’

LONG UPDATE

but how did you like it?

HAS ANYBODY NOTICED

how I added a tag and how I changed the description

and how I'm going to make all of you flip your tables

and how I- 

ehehe

ehehe

ehe ;)

as much as i love you guys

I'M NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING UNTIL IT'S MY NEXT UPDATE

SO STAY TUNED

mwah <3