Should she let go? Shouldn’t she? Does letting him go mean that she’s not fighting for him? Does letting him go make him think that she thinks that he’s not worth fighting for? Does letting him go mean that her feelings aren’t strong enough for him? Haerin drops the knife as she cuts into her finger, hissing in pain.  “God dammit,” She curses, at the thin wound.  She throws a look at the sleeping Kyungsoo over her shoulder and returns to focusing on the hangover soup she’s making for him.  “He’s sleeping and he’s making a mess out of my head,” She mutters, dumping the vegetables into the pot.  “Love ,”

Her phone rings at that time and she picks up when she notices Kai calling, sandwiching the device between her ear and her shoulder.  “Yellow,” She says.

‘Noona?’

“Who else, idiot, who else were you trying to call?” She chuckles.

‘No I mean-“ Kai chuckles along and continues.  ‘I thought you’d be depressed and cutting yourself or something,’

“I am depressed and cutting myself, only in-“

‘Seriously?!’

“Hell no.  The heck, Kai?”

His laugh comes through the line.  “Are you okay?”

“I cut myself making soup for your beloved hyung-“

‘Hey, he’s your beloved boyfriend,’

“Shut your trap,” Haerin snaps.  “And I’m pretty much a mishmash.  But otherwise, never better,”

‘You’re at his house, aren’t you?’

“Yup,”

‘I’m coming over.  Hanging up, bye’

In a short time of 10 minutes, Kai comes bursting in through the door.  “Noona!”

“What,” Haerin lazily answers and hears him settle down on the table.

“Nothing,” He shrugs as if he didn’t just make a lot of noise to disturb the peace in the house.  “How’s it going?”

She raises an eyebrow at him, saying are-you-seriously-asking-me-that, and pours some soup onto a bowl.  “Want some?”

“No, I want fried rice,” He grins.

“Wake him up and I’ll make you your fried rice,” Haerin jerks her chin towards Kyungsoo and Kai happily obliges.

Setting up the food on a tray, Haerin hears Kyungsoo grunting as he sits up, looking adorable with his bed hair.  Wait, what? Adorable? “I can’t believe I’m still- ugh!” She mutters under her breath and sets the food on the table in front of him with a loud clatter.  “Eat,” Turning around towards the kitchen, Haerin had already started with Kai’s fried rice.

Kyungsoo frowns at his girlfriend’s behaviour, who was rough handling him when his head is cracking open with a headache.  “Whaz wrong wit ‘er?” He mumbles and Kai slaps the back of his head, totally not helping his headache disappear.

“Eat,” Kai copies Haerin and comes to sit at the dining table again, watching her back as she makes his fried rice.  “He crossed the line last night, didn’t he?” He quietly asks, watching the older male eat his soup.

Haerin sighs, the sizzle of the frying pan the only sound filling up the house.  “I should talk to him when he feels better.  I shouldn’t make things up in my head and overthink,” She turns towards the fridge for some eggs.  “Who’s Jongin, Kai?” She changes the topic of the conversation.

At the sound of his real name, Kai blinks, getting defensive.  “Jongin? Where did you hear that from?”

“Does that woman matter to all of you that much?” Haerin silently asks to no one in particular, tired of seeing unusual reactions to everything that had anything to do with that woman.  She didn’t hate her, Nara did nothing wrong to her, anyways, but she was somehow angry at how Nara could matter so much to everybody.  “That Nara did, last night,”

“Oh,” Kai winces.  He didn’t mean it that way.  Nobody says his real name anymore, these days, so the way Haerin had said it struck a weird chord in him.  Good weird, not bad weird, like how it would when Nara said it.  “It’s me, noona, sorry,” He answers.  “That’s, hm, how do I put this, it’s my real name, I guess?”

Nodding, Haerin serves his food before him, sitting across the table.  “Why’d you go with Kai?”

Kai had already begun stuffing his face with the food, a breath through his teeth in an effort to cool down the steaming heap of rice in his mouth.  “Kai seems less affectionate.  Jongin makes me remember bad things from my past, especially when used by people I don’t like.  It gives them an attachment to me that I can’t sever,”

“Does it still do, now?”

“Sometimes,” He shrugs.  “But I actually kind of like it when you call me that.  Somehow reminds me of how my mother used to call me,”

Haerin lets a fond smile colour her face at how she suddenly feels protective over this boy in front of her.  “Then I’ll call you Jongin from now on,” She reaches out to ruffle his hair.  “Tell Kyungsoo to wash up when he’s done.  I’m going to bathe upstairs,” She grins.  “Eat slowly, Jongin, nobody’s taking it away from you,”

Kai still couldn’t get a proper grip of himself when he hears Haerin call him by his birth name.  His spoon stops mid-air and he frowns after Haerin’s back, wondering why it sounded so different when she says it.  Shrugging the thought away, he takes his plate and moves towards the living room to sit on the carpet by Kyungsoo.  The older male had brighter eyes now, compared to the time when he just woke up.  He was sober, that’s for sure, and his headache was definitely disappearing.  

“She works magic with food,” Kyungsoo sighs as he finishes his soup.  He eyes Kai’s food, whose owner cowers protectively over his plate, making him chuckle.

“How many times are you going to mess up, hyung?” Kai asks as Kyungsoo stretches.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you what-are-you-talking-about me,” Kai rolls his eyes.  “I’m not your childhood friend for nothing.  I know that you remember everything you do when you’re drunk, even if you don’t realise that you turn into a total brat,”

Kyungsoo stays silent as Kai breaks his play in the morning.  He was hoping that he could cover it up a bit longer and Kai really had to burst his bubble.  “Three times’ the charm?” He offers a weak smile.

“,” Kai scrunches his nose, swallowing his last spoon.  

“Okay, sorry, I just- I don’t know, okay?” Kyungsoo sighs.  “How am I supposed to ing know how many times I’m going to mess up when I don’t even know anything about my own feelings?”

“Don’t go all cursing on me,” Kai lifts his hands up in surrender.  “I’m not the one dating someone else for rebound,”

“Holy sh-“ Kyungsoo’s eyes widen.  “Am I doing that??”

“Well, you clearly haven’t gotten your feelings for that sorted out yet, and you’re dating Haerin-noona, with the basis of needing - or wanting - her help for you to be able to love again,” Kai spreads out the facts.  “The part ‘to be able to love again’ all comes back to Nara, doesn’t it?”

“Oh God,” Kyungsoo bangs his head on the table.  

“How do you ing end up falling for the worst girl in the city, hyung? When you’re the nicest person I know?” Kai sighs.  “Things always get rude when we talk about her.  My vocabulary on curse words just suddenly hits sky high,”

“Oh God, Jongin, what do I do?” Kyungsoo clearly didn’t hear what Kai had said.  “What do I do? Do I break up with her?”

“Asking for help on your relationship to me?” Kai’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.  “That’s new,” He meets Kyungsoo’s eyes and in an instant, he knows that the man who’s supposed to have more experience in the field compared to him, is at a complete loss of what to do.  Sighing, he takes his dirty dishes and piles them together with Kyungsoo’s.  “If you don’t want to hurt her, I guess.  Explain things to her properly first,”

Kyungsoo hesitates before he looks at his best friend expectantly.  “Help me, okay?”

Kai starts with the dishes as he quietly answers.  “Have I ever said no to you, hyung?”