Falling #2

January 16, 2005.

Since the time from kindergarten until fourth grade, I’ve made very little progress in my social life. My bangs grew out (after pleading with my mother so many times to not cut them) but I still kept the glasses. My eyesight got worse, but only by a little. I kept them on to hide my face honestly.

I still had no close friends, the closest person I would consider a friend was Mei, a quiet Chinese girl. We didn’t hang out outside of class, but whenever we had to do a group assignment, we would always be paired up. So I would consider her an acquaintance.

And Jongin? He goes by Kai now. His friends gave him the nickname back in second grade and it stuck. This year I actually had class with him. He didn’t notice me at all though. He was outgoing and everyone loved him. My feelings for him waivered a lot, I was conflicted. Did I admire him or did I dislike him? I couldn’t help but be excited when he looked my way but feelings of betrayal always followed.

I’ve always sat under this giant tree for lunch when it didn’t rain. No one went over there because there was nothing but grass and leaves. I also always packed my own lunch, I would never put myself in a situation where I had to eat in the disgusting cafeteria.

I looked in my backpack but the sight of the familiar pink lunch box was missing. Had my mother forgotten to make me lunch today? She has been very busy lately, my father too. They came home late, exhausted, but they never failed to kiss me goodnight or drop me off at school. My father had a stable job, he was an accountant. My mother worked as a secretary for some publishing company, her new boss was always keeping her long hours.

I zipped up my backpack with a sigh and left empty handed into the yard. I walked over to my tree and sat down, curling my legs up to my chest. I watched as other kids ate their lunches. My stomach growled and I cursed myself silently for waking up late and skipping breakfast.

I sighed and buried my head into my arms, waiting for the lunch period to be over.

“Hey, are you alright?”

I would by lying if my heart didn’t skip a beat when I heard that oh so familiar voice. I timidly looked up and found Kai looking at me. He was couched down to my level, head cocked to one side. His eyebrows were bent together in worry. My eyes widen as this was the closest we have been in five years. He had only gotten more handsome.

“Are you alright?” He repeated.

I rapidly nodded my head.

His eyes darted back and forth around us. Finally his eyes stopped on my face. “Where is your lunch?”

“I forgot it.” I told him quietly. He nodded, “Are you hungry?”

I shook my head, but the noise emitting from my stomach told him otherwise. He laughed lightly before standing up, dusting off his clothes and extending one hand to me. The scene was all too familiar. I wordlessly placed my hand into his and he pulled me up, this time with little effort. He was three inches taller then me now.

This time, he didn’t let go of my hand like in the past. He pulled me to the bench where his friends were sitting (the one the kicked me off of five years ago).

“Who do we have here Kai?” Kai just smiled