Taehyung lay on his bed wide awake and yet, he was motionless. He wondered how it would be like to die. Would it hurt? Would it be painful or peaceful? If he were a normal human, which he hoped he was, he would want a peaceful death. Death in sleep seemed like a peaceful way to go. A sudden shot to the head seemed quick and easy too. Come to think about it, a sudden, unexpected accident on the road was also another way to die.

However, he didn’t want to experience an almost death experience. Worse, he wouldn’t want to be a ghost, not completely dead but not completely alive either. He didn’t want to be an astral body, experiencing everything only to find out that your body was degrading. It was too cruel a prank to be played even by an all knowing man in the skies.

The deep voiced male blinked several times. How did Jungkook manage it?

Jungkook had been nothing but sweet and understanding towards Taehyung. Taehyung was the elder but it was as if Jungkook was elder when it came to intelligence and wisdom. It was Jungkook’s idea that Taehyung go home and get proper rest. It was Taehyung’s idea that he take Jungkook’s mom’s number in order to keep updates on him. And it was most definitely Jungkook’s idea for Taehyung to come and visit him the next day – the last day that Jungkook would remain in Korea.

His last day in Korea.

Taehyung had a lot to think about. Well, no. Not really. Taehyung had already made up his mind about Jungkook and his physical body. It was obvious from the moment he got the news about Jungkook’s relocation that Jungkook, the ghost had to follow his body to America for a better recovery. Taehyung wasn’t a religious person. He didn’t come off as one and he didn’t refer to himself as one. But he was moralistic. He was spiritual and to some extent he was superstitious. He believed that the spirit, the soul had to be with the body for a better recovery. It was the only logical answer he could come up with.

But of course, like all matters, the head always interfered with the heart. As did the heart with the head.

He didn’t want Jungkook to go away. He didn’t think he could take it. Within the passing months, Taehyung had grown so attached to the maroon haired boy. He learnt to love him so much that he felt lonely even when they separated for even a few minutes. But he had been acting on his impulses for the past months. He needed to listen to his logic. He needed to listen to his mind. He needed to let Jungkook go. He needed to let Jungkook live.

Yes, Jungkook made Taehyung feel funny. He made Taehyung feel uneasy and yet, he made him feel so comfortable and free. And being the selfish person that he was, he didn’t want to let go. But he had to. For Jungkook’s sake and his own, he needed to.

That was why he had planned out a beautiful date with Jungkook the next day. It was the last day that he would see Jungkook and would be with Jungkook. But he wanted it to be one of the best. Regardless of the future, he wanted to have zero regrets of falling in love with Jungkook. And he intended to do just that.

Ding!

The doors of the elevator slid open and Taehyung walked out of the small metal compartment with a bouquet of fresh daisies for Jungkook. Yes, Jungkook was leaving the next morning even before the sun rose but he wanted to continue maintaining the hospital room to the best until he left. Why? Because Jungkook was worth it.

He went past the floor’s receptionist and headed to the very same room where he had his heart shattered and mended simultaneously. His heart fluttered a little when a sudden and not entirely necessary image of his first encounter with Jungkook came to mind.

Pushing the handle of the door towards the cold hard floor, the door clicked open and he pushed the light wooden door into the room. In the room, he saw two people. One was Jungkook, the one who was lying motionless on the bed, fighting for his life. And the other was a slightly more translucent version of the sleeping boy, standing right beside the bed, occasionally looking at his physical body and at the heart monitor. The ghost’s constantly shifting gazes upon the two subjects dropped completely as soon as he heard someone open the door. And Taehyung was glad that a smile wrapped the younger’s lips the moment their gazes met.

“Hi Jungkook,” Taehyung wished, heading for the table beside the bed. But his eyes remained transfixed on the standing male. The astral body smiled warmly, wished him back a hello and floated up to the orange head and waited for him to finish changing the flowers.

Not letting the younger say anything about the flowers yet again, the elder asked how he was. The younger fully understood why Taehyung had asked the question but he decided to leave his nagging and answer the question. “I’m fine, hyung,” he answered and bent down to smell the flowers, not for the scent but as a habit.

Taehyung smiled. “I have a proposal for you today,” he announced and walked up to the sleeping Jungkook. “What say you that we go on a date today?”

The ghost’s eyes opened wide in a sudden realization. They hadn’t even gone on a single date, did they?

“Nothing fancy, though,” Taehyung assured, knowing how much Jungkook liked to be treated as a normal person despite him being extremely wealthy when he was awake. “We’ll get some lunch from the hospital cafeteria and then head up to the roof,” Taehyung continued warily, trying his best to void the thought that it was Jungkook’s last day with him.

Jungkook smiled gently following which was a nod. “Okay,” he replied and waited for Taehyung to get ready. He watched his hyung bend down towards his sleeping body. He watched fondly, knowing that this was an everyday routine. Taehyung would always give sleeping Jungkook a kiss on the forehead before anything and then they would always continue with their activities. And at the end of every visit, the elder would kiss astral Jungkook either at the same place or somewhere else and they would mark the end of their company.

The feeling of Taehyung’s soft, warm lips on his forehead even though he didn’t technically touch him was one of the best feelings in the world. It was almost as good as being held by him and being kissed by him. And the anticipation of the feeling was definitely worth it. But on that day, the feeling never came. Jungkook couldn’t feel anything. The build up was never satisfied because he could no longer feel Taehyung’s lips on his sleeping body’s forehead.

Jungkook’s world began shaking violently. What was happening? What is happening? Why can’t I feel him?

After that cold but satisfying kiss, Taehyung stood back up and turned back to the ghost to show that he was done with his daily routine. But his chest heaved a little to see the ghost with a surprised look on his face. What was he surprised about? Did he do something wrong?

“Jungkook?” the ghost heard Taehyung call him. He didn’t feel him. Why didn’t he feel him?

“Huh?” the ghost decided to reply, pushing aside that shocking affair aside, regarding it as only a work of his imagination. “What’s wrong?” the younger heard the elder ask him, his voice slowly lacing deeper with worry. Shaking his head in a way to assure himself and his hyung, he said that he was fine. “I just spaced out for a second. That’s all.”

“Are you sure?”

A firm nod followed.

It was just your imagination, Jungkook, he assured himself and chose to focus on his hyung. “Come on,” he heard Taehyung say. But all of a sudden, his hearing became weak. Taehyung’s voice came out as a distant chatter and this was accompanied by the unexpected blurring of his normally good vision. The continuous beeping of the heart monitor even became muffled and distant.

“Jungkook?” Taehyung called out again and turned to the ghost only to find his face warped in some sort of pain and confusion. He took a quick stride towards him and asked what was wrong. Jungkook was never like this.

And eventually, to his relief, the maroon haired ghost with the wide eyes seemed to regain a sense of consciousness. “Sorry,” the ghost apologized. “I spaced out again.” A soft whisper “okay” escaped from Taehyung’s lips but his worry never disappeared. Was Jungkook feeling weak?

“Let’s go then,” the younger suggested. Taehyung nodded his head warily and walked towards the door, keeping a close eye on the ghost behind him. He had to make sure that he was still there. And he was. So far…

Jungkook swore he could have thrown up even though he was a ghost because of how dizzy he was feeling. What was wrong with him? He had never felt so nauseous before. Was something wrong with his physical body that he was feeling so sick?

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Taehyung asked as they almost reached the door which in turn led them to the roof of the hospital. The sun was warm that particular day even though there were some clouds in the distance. Jungkook nodded. He was feeling a little better at the moment. The muffled noises had faded away and everything seemed and appeared clear and intact.

The two of them sat on the cold floor of the terrace in silence. Taehyung had a protective and careful look on his companion. He couldn’t help but worry for the younger. And Jungkook didn’t bother speaking because he had no interesting topic to talk about.

“How’s your mother?” Taehyung finally asked, choosing to have a normal conversation and not worry too much. He decided to leave aside the fact that Jungkook was behaving a little weird and worry about the opening of the milk that he had just bought a few minutes back in the cafeteria.

Jungkook looked at him poke the straw into the bottle and replied that she was fine. “She visited me last night. Dad came too.” Taehyung nodded expectedly.

“What about yours?”

The atmosphere slowly began to clear and become lighter with every sentence uttered by both boys. They were speaking of their inevitable separation on a relatively easy going tone when Taehyung decided to speak his mind.

“I’m honestly going to miss you a lot.”

Jungkook forced his heart not to hurt. But he was doing a lousy job at it. “I’m going to be fine, hyung. You said so yourself. And when I get better, the first thing I’m going to do is come back here and find you.”

It was miserably sad how the both of them were trying incredibly hard to stay positive despite having the knowledge that the younger’s condition was degrading every day.

Taehyung could only give a silent nod.

“I’m not going to cry,” Jungkook continued. Trying to make the elder and himself feel better. “Because tears are shed only in cases when you are left with no hope.” Another silent nod followed.

“We still have hope, hyung,” Jungkook urged. “Don’t we?”

“Yes, Jungkook,” the elder finally spoke after a moment of silence. “we do.” And that was how the conversation about Jungkook’s departure came to an end.

An hour or so passed and Taehyung began to shiver in the cold of the biting wind. “Go back inside?” Jungkook suggested, noticing his hyung shaking from the cold. Taehyung gave an apologetic smile. It was that wide heart shaped one, the one which indicated his satisfaction; the one which anyone could fall in love with.

Jungkook stood along with Taehyung so as to not get left behind. But as soon as his knees buckled so that he could stand erect, his over active mind chose to come to an abrupt halt and he lost control of his motor abilities and lost touch of his surroundings.

His hands, as a reflex, reached out for Taehyung’s for support. The elder had his back towards the ghost, surveying the roof of the hospital. And the surprising thing was that Jungkook’s hands passed right through the elder’s, the elder not even flinching from a normally sudden cold whenever the ghost even as so much came near him.

“When do you think you’ll be leaving?” Taehyung asked and finally turned towards the sitting ghost only to find him wide eyed and confused, yet again. This was definitely going too far.

He quickly rushed down to Jungkook’s level and asked him what was wrong. “Jungkook,” he urged, “what’s bothering you?”

“I…” the ghost began. Unable to answer, he simply looked down at his hand. Did he really pass through Taehyung – the only person in the world who could touch him? Was he losing his ability to touch Taehyung?

Refusing to believe his thoughts, he raised his hands in front of Taehyung in a desperate and pleading manner, suggesting him to hold them. He was just imagining things. There was no way his hand passed through the elder’s like it was nothing. He did not just miss Taehyung’ hand because. He simply couldn’t.

Knowing that the younger was in some sort of internal desperation and denial about something, Taehyung immediately reached for Jungkook’s hands and grabbed them tightly, pulling him up to him for an embrace. The younger was still as cold as ever but he was still there. Jungkook was still there. So why exactly was he acting strange?

Jungkook held the elder tightly in his arms. He felt his squeeze the breath out of him but he didn’t bother because he could touch him. Taehyung could still touch him. That whole incident was just an accident. He had just imagined that up.

The clock chimed four pm. Taehyung slowly awoke from his slumber on the bed side and rubbed his eyes to concentrate on the current situation. It took him some time to recollect everything but he managed to remember the past events of the day.

After that eerie display of actions, the younger of the two had gone into a sort of panic mode even though it was obvious he was trying to hide some extraneous fear. Taehyung wanted to help him calm down but Jungkook wouldn’t hear the end of it. He simply breathed heavily, seeming entirely scared and frightened of something which Taehyung couldn’t comprehend. So he had no other option but to wait it out.

Speaking of which, the maroon bunny was nowhere to be found. “Jungkook?” Taehyung called out and looked at the time. Visiting hours were almost over.

Jungkook stood speechless. He stood right beside the orange head. He was standing right beside him. So why couldn’t he see him? The taller lad kept looking around the room, right past him, taking in no consideration that he could even sense him.

It was obvious now. Taehyung was losing the ability to see the ghost. Their bond was weakening. He couldn’t feel Taehyung when he touched him before. And this meant only one thing to Jungkook.

He was dying.

A sudden choke sounded from behind Taehyung and he quickly darted his whole body towards the sound, his panic almost rising to a critical point. His terror immediately flushed out of his system to see the maroon haired boy standing there, right in front of him with his glassy eyes.

“Gosh, Jungkook!” he scolded. “Where’d you go? You had me so worried!” he hugged his dongsaeng and laughed out of relief. It was nerve wrecking to feel that he had almost lost Jungkook.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook whispered and allowed himself to melt in Taehyung’s hold. He was definitely going to miss this. And considering what had happened just a moment back, he didn’t know if he would even return to fell the warmth of Taehyung’s embrace ever again. So he took in all of Taehyung’s scent as he could; all of Taehyung’s sense. He needed to remember everything as long as he could.

“Take care, hyung,” Jungkook wished as they continued to hold each other mindlessly, not bothering of the time; not giving a rat’s if visiting hours were over or not. Taehyung nodded. “You too. You have to stay strong, you understand? Not only for your sake but for your mom, and your dad and for mine,” he advised.

“Hmm.” He nodded violently, hugging the elder a little more tightly.

Taehyung noticed the intensity of the hug but he did nothing against it. He just savored it, knowing that it would be a long time till he met Jungkook again. His heart ached to just consider this fact. And  what was worse what the fact that the chances of them meeting again were lesser than Park Jimin growing taller than Min Yoongi even. There were many things that could happen within the span of time that they would be separated. A plausible and blatant example was that either one could die.

But deciding to push out all the pessimistic thoughts away, Taehyung chose to just wish him a simple goodbye where they would say “See you soon”. He didn’t want to end things on a bad note and thus, his pessimism stood no chance against him.

The hug broke apart and Taehyung pulled the younger in for a sweet kiss on his forehead. And Jungkook couldn’t ask for more. That final association of those warm lips on his cold forehead made Jungkook feel better again, regardless of the fact that he was very close to dying.

“Come back safely, got it?” Taehyung whispered into his ears. Jungkook could do nothing but repeat another “mmm” with a nod. He needed to keep Taehyung going. All for Taehyung’s sake. It all came down to him now.

Jungkook watched the door close and as soon as he heard the click of the door, the tears which he was holding back so much came gushing out of his beautiful eyes which he normally hid under his hair when he was conscious. His cries went unheard but he didn’t need them to be. He just wanted a platform where he could cry, regardless of whether there was anyone to comfort or listen to him or not.

Because no matter what, he would love Taehyung. He would miss him endlessly. And knowing that Taehyung would be missing him also made him feel guilty.

“Taehyung,” he cried as the tears continued to roll down uncontrollably.

“I don’t want to go. Please don’t make me leave you. Don’t let me leave.”

The heart monitor suddenly began beeping quicker, notifying the sudden rise in the pace of the heart beat. A feeling of breathlessness covered Jungkook for a short time but it vanished in a split second. His body was probably reacting to his soul’s emotions. Either that or his body was acting on its own, convulsing due to the amount of stress laid on it. But whatever the case was, Jungkook didn’t do anything about it. He simply stood there, facing the door. The tears continued to flow but there was no one to hold it for him.

The door suddenly banged open and in rushed a group of men and women clad in white coats. They were rushing about, making a fuss about how his pressure rate was dropping at a rapid rate and how it was so abrupt and uncommon. In the crowd was the head doctor of the department, Choi Junhong who looked extremely worried and panicky. Jungkook slowly turned back and watched the people do stuff on his body which he didn’t have any understanding over. His glassy eyes, evident from the tears that he had shed just a few seconds back, focused on his limp body that swayed every time anyone touched the bed. He could see himself degrading. And he didn’t like it one bit because he had promised that he would come back to Taehyung safely.

A/N:

And that brings an end to the final chapter of A Complicated Regard...

I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. <3

Kekeke. Just joking. But this is the second last chapter. The last one is a sort of epilogue after this. (And still, I am an on not revealing whether Jungkook will survive or not) (To be honest, I too am unsure whether he will survive or not... Oh well...)

Expect the last chapter in a span of six hours. It's a sort of christmas gift for all you lovely people.

And as usual, please upvote and comment and subscribe...

Merry advance Christmas to you all.

Indefinitely,

TypicalFangirl09