I love her.

I love her so much.

I know I should free her from my grip when I know she doesn’t love me.

But I can’t.

I really want to hold her and kiss her badly.

I want her energizing morning kiss before I went to work.

I want to see her blushed every time I ask her to kiss me.

I want her all over me.

I want her.

I badly want her.

I have been resisting the urge to touch her every time I look at her glowing face on my bed.

I ask her to sleep with me in our room.

I can’t sleep alone anymore.

Not after I married her.

Why you make me this weak yeobo?

I am the best in everything I do.

I excel in studies.

I won first in exams.

I am perfect in business.

I never fail in making my huge project a success in a blink of eyes.

People envy me.

I’m labeled as the most successful young businessman.

I strive hard for it.

I know I deserve that title.

What more should I do Sulli?

I did everything I can to please you.

Why of all people, it have to be Taemin?

I closed my eyes and leans on the leather chair.

I can win over him in everything but this is one of his charms that I can’t ever succeed.

Women.

I really want to listen to her explanation.

I really want to listen to her melody-like-voice but I don’t have the courage.

People can say that my pride is too high but only God knows that is the only thing that makes me this strong.

I choose to not let her explain.

I’m doing all sorts of things to fail her explanation.

I know she is in a lot of pain.

But I am in pain too.

I am in a lot of pain when I saw her smile comfortably to Taemin.

I’m hurting when she looks so scared when she is with me.

I wanted to hug her, tell her that I love her.

But I can’t let off my guard.

What if she steps on my heart when she knows I love her like crazy?

I can't stand heartache.

I can't.

I'll die.

What if she finds Taemin more manly than me?

He is a sweet talker.

Even as a man I find him attractive when we first met.

He knows how to gain women's attention.

While me? I don’t know how to express myself.

But I love her.

I can’t let her choose Taemin.

I can’t let Sulli go.

I just can’t.

I keep her under my possession not only because I need her.

I love her.

I don’t care if she doesn’t love me.

I don’t care that she slept with me out of her responsibilities as a wife.

I don’t freaking care anymore.

I want her.

I want her by my side, in my house, in my bed.

She suits more with me.

Not Taemin.

Not Lee Taemin.

I won’t let Taemin ruins her.

He ruins a lot of women’s life.

He switches his women like he changes his outfit.

He doesn’t have any sense of loyalty.

I know he is after Sulli because of his grudge over me.

I’m sure he doesn’t love her.

I’m damn sure.

I flicked my eyes open.

What am I doing here?

I stare on her face on our wedding day.

I switch my eyes to our picture when I first met Yoogeun.

I took our first family photo.

Telling her that we should take another in a year or two with additional family members.

She just nods with a shy smile.

I wipe the drops tear on my cheek.

Why all the people I love wants to leave me alone?

First it was my parents.

Then it was my aunt.

Even though she is cold, I still love her.

I know she doesn’t favor me, but still she gives me food and place to live.

And now, Sulli?

Taemin is giving evidence about their relationship.

The evidence grew stronger every single day.

I have a feeling that he is not telling the truth but I can’t bring myself in asking Sulli.

What if her answer breaks me down?

What if it tears me into pieces?

I let out a sigh.

Let things cool down.

Let don’t talk about anything for now.

I heard a knock on my door when I caress Sulli’s photo.

I turn my view to the door. I know it must be Luna.

“Come in.”

She walks to me with her smile.

“You have an appointment with Mr. Kim Jonghyun at 3.00 p.m Mr. Minho.”

I chuckle.

“Just say I have an appointment with your husband Luna.”

I grab my phone and key.

“Let’s go.”

“Me? Why?”

“So that you can go home with hyung. Kaja.”

“Ahh deh. I’ll tidy up my things first.”

“I’ll wait you in car.”

I throw a smile to her and walk out.

Luna doesn’t know anything about us.

I did not tell her and hyung about me and Sulli.

It should be kept as a secret.

I don’t want people to pity me.

I had enough when I’m still a teen.

I turn on classical music as I step in my car, easing up my mind.

Can you guys have a bit pity on Minho?

*Crying*

I will be so busy this week until Raya/Eid..

Sorry if I won’t update it for days…

The kids are having their formal exam too…

Please bear with it okay…

Love you all…

#PrayForPalestine#

#PrayForMH17Victims#