"I love you but I hate you."

"He's not going to survive!"

"Don't leave me, Jiyong!"

"Hello, I'm Kwon Jiyong. It's nice to meet you."

"You're nothing!"

"Chee Elle!"

"Get away from her!"

"Jiyong-"

"Jiyong. Jiyong. Kwon Jiyong!"

"I'm here, I won't leave you!"

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"What's your name again?"

"Don't worry, I will protect you."

"Jiyong.....Jiyong....Jiyong."

"Kwon Jiyong is dead to me now!"

*****

~CL's P.O.V~

My eyes open in a flash, tears are flowing down my cheeks and my heart is pounding. I can barely breathe, my vision is blurry and I'm sweating. "Jiyong!"  His name shoots out of my mouth like the bullet that took him from me. Again, I scream louder for him until someone is grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. "CL!" His voice is faint to my ears but it's familiar. My eyes are too blurred from the tears to even see who it is.

"Jiyong!" My cries grow louder and louder as the male pushes the hair out of my face and cups my cheeks. "Chaerin, calm down!" At this point I feel like I'm spinning and falling at the same time. I'm whimpering and I feel like there's a massive amount of weights sitting on my chest. He grabs me, pulling me to his chest as I wrap my arms around him tightly. "Youngbae!"

His teeth are chewing on his bottom lip as he hugs me back around my waist just as tight. "It's alright I'm here..." My dreams were terrible. They were flashing from scene to scene and his name just wouldn't stop being said. I hate this so much! Why do I even have to live to this day to be reunited with this much pain?! It's ten times worse than last year and the year before that and the day it happened! I hate myself because it is my entire fault, I was too selfish and I ruined an angel. Jiyong would have never been in this position if I hadn't been so selfish!

Youngbae sighed; he knows what this day is and how much pain it's bringing to me. We choose to pretend we don't know each other until we are alone because I don't want anyone to know the kind of weak and pathetic person I really am.

After a few minutes, I finally calm down and slowly pull away from Youngbae. "Why are you in here?" I question him, sitting back against the head board as I wipe my cheeks and eyes dry. He was always the caring type of person but he never understood me.

"You were whimpering in your sleep and then you got up screaming..." he sighs, placing his hand on my leg before I remove his hand. "Don't touch me." Just like that. It even amazes me how weak I am at one moment and then how fast I can turn ice cold. He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair before getting up from my bed and looks around. It had been the first time he got into my room here but right now I really didn't care anymore.

When I glance at my clock, I see it's almost nine in the morning. I stopped for a moment, furrowing my eyebrows at the quiet atmosphere before I finally spoke up. "Where is everyone?"

"They all went out," he responded, looking at me as he places his hands in his pockets. Oh, well that explains why no one came running in here while I was screaming. Oh who am I kidding- they would be too scared too. This is Satan's lair to them. "So you and I are the only one's home then? How come you didn't go out with them?"

"Oh, I didn't feel like it. I had a long night so... and yeah we are the only ones home."

I sighed in relief. Thank you God for not having Jiyong in this house while I was screaming his name like that. That would be a very hard one to explain, wouldn't it? I reach over, grabbing my hair tie before putting my hair up and then rubs my bare face. Groaning, I press the heel of my hands against my eyes with a little pressure. That was not sleep I had because I feel like a zombie right now. "Okay, get out now."

Furrowing his eyebrows, I get up and start fixing my bed without another word. I don't even understand why he's even still in here. I'm fine, really I am. Everything is definitely fine. He shakes his head, mumbling out a low, "whatever," before he leaves my room.

When the door was shut, Youngbae turned to a crouching Jiyong with his fingers tangled in his hair. There wasn't a word spoken, enough was already said and done.

_________________________________

After being tackled by Bom, Dara started screaming in rage while slapping Bom left and right. "Get off of me, you're horrible!!"

"And what does that make you?!" Grabbing a fist full of her sister's hair with one hand, she gripped her arm with the other. "You're the stupidest person in this world; you don't even deserve to breathe!"

"Guys guys yaaaah!!!!" Jiyong shouted, throwing his hands up before dropping all of his papers. "Stop it right now; we are supposed to be practicing here!"

"Doesn't deserve to breathe?" CL repeated Bom's words with an eyebrow raising before she leaned back against the car. "Well damn, this is better than I thought!"

"CL shut up!" Minji shouted at her with a glare before she received a face full of water.

"Who are you telling to shut up, ?!" CL pushed herself off the car before throwing her water in Minji's face. "You don't talk--" She was cut off when she received a hard slap across her face. No she didn't...A lock full of CL's hair was then yanked by the other girl and then she received another hit to the face.

Wasting no time, CL grabbed Minji's wrist and twisted it all the way back then shoved her to the ground. She heard it pop and left Minji screaming on the ground in pain. "Don't you ever put your ing hands on me again!"

"Did you just break her ing wrist?!" Top shoved CL back with rage in his eyes before CL punched him in his face. "!" He grabbed Chaerin by before he was smashed in his head by Chae's own fist.

"Top! What the actual bro you don't put your ing hands on a girl!" Jiyong grabbed Top's arm and slammed him back against the concrete before he pointed down at him. "I will kill your ing !"

Dara wrapped her legs around Bom's waist and aggressively flipped them over, balling up her fists and started swinging at Bom. She didn't hit her many times due to Bom's arms trying to block her face. "I am so sick of you never acting normal! You think you are little miss perfect but you're not!"

"At least I have a ing mother!" Bom shouted back, kicking her legs out while hitting Dara's head. "Your mother didn't even take care of you properly!"

"Don't be fooled Bom, I never liked you! You were so ticked that appa adopted me because you weren't his baby girl anymore!!"

Bom finally managed to shove Dara off of her, getting up she kicked her in her side. "Please- you are delusional! Appa only adopted you because he felt sorry for your !" While wincing in pain, Dara stopped and lay on the ground with tears flowing from her eyes because of the pain.

Top stood up from the ground, taking a tight grip on Jiyong's shirt and shoved him back right into CL. "Back off me you little boy, I'm already dead! How dare you protect that ! She just probably broke Minji's wrist and you're defending her?!"

After being shoved back into CL, Jiyong had his back shoved forward again. "Get the off me!" Chae shouted, before pointing her finger out at Top. "Who gives a ? She deserves to have every ing bone broken for what her and her pathetic mother caused me!"

Being tossed around, Jiyong finally pushed and made himself between the two again and made space. "GOD DAMN IT, SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU! Top you don't ever put your hand on a girl for any ing reason!!!!"

"Open your eyes, she's a ing man!" Top lunged at Chae again before CL ripped out her pocket knife and yelled at the top of her lungs, "SOMEONE IS DYING TODAY IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN!!'

"YOU WANT TO FIGHT LIKE A MAN; I'M GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE ONE!!"

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP ITTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Minji screamed so loud, her voice cracked at the end and made everyone shut up to look at her.

Halmeoni busted the door open with rage in her eyes, "What the is going on out here?!?!" When she saw everything, she walked over to CL and slapped her in her face before snatching the knife from her. "Get in the ing house right now!" CL winced, being shoved forward afterwards before she headed inside and slammed the door right in Top's face as he was heading in after her. "Aah!" He groaned, holding his forehead before kicking the door open again.

Halmeoni walked over to Bom and slashed her with a belt. "Get inside now!" Bom shrieked, running inside cowardly leaving Minji, Dara and Jiyong at the scene with her.  "Jiyong!"

"I don't know what happened, Dara and Bom started fighting and then CL and Minji then CL and Top!" He shrugged his shoulders before rushing to Minji's aid and looked over her wrist while Halmeoni kneeled down next to Dara.

"I don't think it's broken...can you move it?" Jiyong asked her, slowly taking the wrist in his hold.

"Y-yeah..." she whimpered lowly and twirled her wrist slowly.

"I think it is just a sprang, you will be okay but let’s get it wrapped up alright?" He helped her up and then took her inside.

"I'm okay..." Dara mumbled while wiping the tears from her cheeks, sitting up as she held her aching side.

****

"Okay, everyone in this room is going to explain what just happened out there!" Halmeoni demanded after gathering everyone in the living room. Minji's wrist was wrapped in a ice cold pack while Jiyong sat next to her. CL had herself isolated from everyone else as she was sitting on the couch with her knees pulled up. Dara and Top on the other hand were beside Top and Jiyong quietly; Bom being near her halmeoni quietly. No one was speaking; everyone was hurt and mad and wanted nothing to do with each other. "Ahem." Halmeoni cleared before her eyes fell on Bom. "I'm waiting."

Bom rubbed her face, letting out a heavy sigh before she pointed at Dara. "She hit me first."

"Oh that is so not true!" Dara yelled across the room before halmeoni shouted higher. "ENOUGH!"

"She did hit me first, and then she started talking about my appa."

"Our appa."

"MY APPA." Bom corrected Dara, slouching down in her seat again. "The Chaerin made a comment and Minji yelled at her telling her to shut up."

"The she threw water in my face so I slapped her." Minji admitted, nodding proudly. "Then I grabbed her hair and she twisted my wrist. Then Top oppa jumped in it and was in her face then Jiyong got in it to defend Chae because Top put his hands on her."

"What?!" Halmeoni stood up immediately and Top raised his arms up quickly. "I was trying to protect Minji I swear I wouldn't actually hurt her!"

"Liar!" Jiyong cut in, turning towards Top. "That's why she ing punched you in your head! Then he hit me and yeah basically that's how this went. Back and forth."

"Chaerin started it." Everyone admitted at once, pointing over at her quiet figure with a bored look on her face. She slowly blinked, letting out a sigh of annoyance. "I started it?" She asked.

"Yes because it was you who hit Bom, not Dara." Minji glared over at Chae, making Bom raise her eyebrows. "What?"

"You guys annoy the out of me." Chaerin rubbed her face before stopping at the sound of Dara's shout.

"Then go to the bathroom stupid!" Dara pointed towards it and everyone fell quiet. Oh Dara...

Halmeoni sighed loudly, rubbing her temples before looking at them all. "I am trying to finish my work! I cannot do that if every second one of you is trying to kill each other." She reached over, hitting Chae's leg. "Stop causing drama!" Chae only returned her halmeoni with the rolling of her eyes before looking away rubbing her leg.

"Top, don't you ever touch a female in this house again like that. Or I will ring your neck. Dara and Bom, just shut up and roll away. And Minji...you should know better than to tell Chaerin to shut up." She sighed once more, glancing at Jiyong with seriousness. "Please keep them all alive for the next hours." She stands up, looking at all of them slowly before pointing at herself. "Youngbae and Seungri are the only ones on my good side now."

_________________________________________

~Jiyong's P.O.V~

Sometimes I wonder what I'm supposed to do in my life. Am I supposed to help people or love someone or be an astronaut or even become president? My destiny sure seems like it's screwed up due to the past three years. I don't understand what I did to deserve this. I've lost a lot; I'm not gaining anything anymore. You know, they say you don't understand what you have until you lose it; well in my case I still don't know. I see her I do, but she doesn't see me anymore. I wish she would just love me again, I'm still here...

How can someone so beautiful be so cold? I guess looks really are deceiving. She's almost like a stranger to me now, I don't feel anything anymore- not even pain. I'm just confused and...She cannot change this even if she tried, right? But somehow I don't miss that fragile Chaerin, I guess because I don't know that Chaerin anymore. I just see a guarded woman. She's closed up now and no one can tell her which direction to go.

Now that I know a piece of my past that I've forgotten, I sometimes forget to remember her walking away from me. I still can see it in the back of my head...

****

She stared at him quietly; there were no cries, no tears, no words and no whimpers. The room was filled with complete silence other than the sounds of Jiyong's soft breathing. A hand rested on her stomach, her lips slowly curving into a faint smile as the knot formed in her. "How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?" She whispered to herself, trying not to wake him.

Her hand slowly rested beside his, her eyes falling down on it slowly. "Someday...you will know me-" she was cut off by a hand slipping in hers weakly. It was Jiyong's. She swallowed the lump in before she pulled it away and headed for the door, taking one last glance at him before leaving him for what she believes will be forever. "I'm dead to you now, don't remember me."

****

"I'm dead to you now, don't remember me." I repeat her words lowly before releasing a faint chuckle. I want to hate her, and maybe I already do. But so what? She wouldn't care. I'm still drawn to her.

"Chaerin?" I finally managed to speak her name, stuffing my handa in my pockets as she turns around and looks at me. "How are you?"

"What are you- did you follow me here?" She questions me, clearly hesitant. This used to be our favorite spot on the beach; we would come here a lot and just watch the sunset. It is really a beautiful evening even after the fights earlier today. "Did I follow you?" I ask her, walking a little closer before taking a seat in the sand beside her. "I come here a lot, maybe you followed me."

"You come here a lot? How come-" she asked, curiosity feeling her expression. She seemed calm right now, like her guards are down.

"Yeah I do, I've been coming here for years actually." I replied, giving her a light smile. I think I will just toy with her emotions after what she's done to me. "I come here to think and watch the sunset. I used to bring a friend of mine with me but she hasn't been in my life for a while."

Before she could even respond to my words, I stopped her. "Jieun! Gosh I miss that girl. This was our favorite place." I'm cruel, but so is she. I can feel the anger slowly building up in me but it's so hard to just scream and push her away even though I badly want to. A smile forms on her lips. It was a happy yet sad smile, though she tried to hide it.

"Oh, that's nice then I guess." She nods, slowly pulling her knees up and hugs them as she heaves a deep sigh, looking out at the water. Silence between the two of us built up a wind of emotions, leaving me completely clueless on what to do next. The waves crashed to shore, soaking the damp sand continuously, and all I could do was stay completely still. I don't even believe I am breathing right now.

After a few minutes, I decided to glance at her smaller figure and hoped she didn't notice. But in the process, I noticed a necklace around her neck. "Skydragon?"

"What?" She looked at me almost immediately, her eyes a little wider than usual.

"Your necklace..."

She looked down at it, touching it briefly before she tucked it back in her shirt. She still has that...how dare she- "What does that mean?"

"It means nothing." She spat out coldly, looking out at the water again. My eyes slowly started to roam the side of her face and then down her arms and then stopped at her wrists. I could see the scars printed into her flesh, I remember them. I remember everything.

"Did you ever have a girlfriend?" Chae bluntly asked, turning towards me with her eyebrows raised. I furrowed me eyebrows at her slightly, letting my eyes gaze into hers. For some reason, she seemed to be a little closer to my face than she was a second ago. "No, I never had a girlfriend." I replied, chuckling as I ruffle a hand through her hair. She stopped, and so did I.

"Never?" She blinked at me; I could see pain filling her eyes. I replied again with the simple pursing of my lips. "Never."

She smiled cheekily at me, stretching her arms out a bit before she stood up and wipes the sand off her pants. It was a fake smile obviously.

"Where are you going?"

"I think my energy just ran out, I'm going home now." And just like that she was gone again without even looking back at me. Why should I chase her if she couldn't even fight for me? She's hurt? So am I. When am I ever going to matter? It is true, I never had a girlfriend. I had the love of my life.

________________________________________

~CL's P.O.V~

I just ran, ran all the way back home with the tears blurring my vision. I had nothing anymore; I just wanted to leave this Earth and never remember any of it again. I wish it were me who lost my memory, not Jiyong. That way I couldn't suffer this aching pain in my heart and my chest anymore. I tripped on my own feet when I was trying to wipe my tears, my running instantly ceased as I fell forward onto the concrete on my hands and knees. Just more pain added on to this. I left my head fall down, my cries becoming louder and louder. "Why?!" I shouted, though no one was around to hear me.

I sat down on the road, staring at my scraped palms. My eyes fell on my scars, and my whimpers slowly began to stop. For years, I hurt myself because of you. You brought me more pain than anyone can ever imagine. "I don't love you..." I mumbled out, my eyes pierced by the sight of my scars. "Not anymore..." I need to move on because this was truly hopeless, he doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't know who I am anymore. I take the necklace and rip it off my neck, looking over it one last time before I throw it far out in the open, hoping that I never see it again. "I am nothing to you because you're nothing to me, Kwon Jiyong you're dead to me."

I pick myself back up, running a hand through my hair before proceeding to dry my eyes. I won't cry anymore. I won't hurt anymore. I'm done this time. I'm glad I left you. I'm glad that plane crash happened. I just wish it would have taken my life just like all the other lives it took. I begin to walk again, thinking to myself and listening to all the voices in my head. Night fell, and I was soon returning to the neighborhood but I wasn't going home.

I made myself believe I wasn't loved but I was wrong. I pushed that individual away when all he's ever done was be there for me. I won't be stupid this time; I'm getting what I want. I go right into the house, shutting the door behind me. I'm glad he has been living alone; it just makes it even better. "Jay?" I look around; finally he comes from the kitchen and looks at me confused. "What are you-"

I remove my shirt as I approach him; a sudden flutter began to fill my chest in the process. It's a feeling I haven't felt in so long. I wanted only him, no one else. My hands grip the back of his neck as I pull him close to me, pressing my lips against his without hesitation. He was still for a moment before finally his lips slowly began moving against mine, my back soon pressed roughly against the wall. His hands began to roam my sides slowly while deepening the kiss while I was breathless. My grip on his hair became tighter as my muscles tensed up slightly. It had been so long, I just wanted to feel loved again. I pulled my lips away as my index finger trailed across his jawline. "I just want you..." I whisper, looking into his eyes as he places his forehead against mine. I could see the pain in his eyes and I know he could see the pain in mine.

"I will take care of you," he whispered back before lifting me up from the ground and wrapped my legs around his waist. I returned my lips to his while my hips began to grind against his, a frustrated sigh escaped my nose in the process. Jiyong who? 

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