Sunhee absolutely hates her bad days. Whenever she has one, she'll spend most of the day in the midst of an episodes and once she finally manages to snaps out of it, it would feel like she was being choked by the real world around her. That's another reason why Sunhee hates talking about her problems to most people, her doctor in particular. They just don't understand.

How could they possibly be able to understand what it is like to watch your life from a third-person perspective. It is your body but you have absolutely no control over it. Sunhee feels constant panic during her bad days, as she thinks about how little control she has over herself. There is a chance that she can walk out into the middle of the street amidst rushing cars because she can't make her body react the way she wants it to.

Sunhee's been told before by specialists and her own family that she should be grateful that it wasn’t something worse like a psychosis.

But she can't.

Sunhee understands her mind far too well, since she spend enough time by being trapped inside of it - or at least that’s how it seems.

Her family’s first reaction when they found out about her condition was to ask if it really was that serious. To them, detachment from reality didn’t seem all that bad, something pleasant even. After all, it would just be like watching your life as though it was a movie, right?

Sunhee had snapped back at them, asking how they would feel to be unable to control anything about themselves, to be afraid of that feeling and to have their own consciousness threatened every single day and with the detachment, their sense of identity as well. But of course they didn’t understand it.

She wondered whether her family would ever really understand her. Her friends didn't seem to understand either; they did try their best though and maybe Sunhee gave up on them much too easily, but they didn’t seem to be able to understand that when she wasn’t in that state, she wanted to be treated like herself. Not like she was a different person all of a sudden.

So far only Sehun managed to do that. He was the only one.

But then again, Sehun has been there for her all the time. In the depths of the night, before Sehun found out about her condition, she had wondered whether telling him would mean breaking up with Sehun as well. Before her, Sehun never had a meaningful relationship. She was still surprised that it was her who Sehun stayed for.

And these days when she was left alone to ponder at night while he was sleeping, Sunhee feared that it was her condi