I remember you said "don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

***

Soojung stares at her plate of food on the table that was going cold by the minute. “Are you trying to lose weight? Is there something wrong with the food? Or are you naively torturing yourself just to get your way?” Sooyeon asks.

Soojung was beginning to look a lot more fragile. Her cheeks were a little more hollow, the rims of her eyes were darker concealed by layers of makeup. The clothes on her body were a looser fit. In front of her mother’s eyes Soojung was deteriorating and she still couldn’t see. Soojung sighs and excuses herself from dinner and her mother makes no attempt to make a snide remark about her ‘leaving’.

She drags her feet across the tiled floors to her room when the doorbell rings. She’s expecting it to be San. After all her mother had been calling him over frequently of late for dinner. Her mother has some weird relationship with him, like the son she never had. He could entertain her for all she cared.

Soojung arrives at the top of the stairs when she hears the unmistakable voice of her father. It didn’t feel real. He had told her to wait for him to sort something out which meant little to her. She definitely didn’t expect him to personally come to France. Soojung runs down to the bottom of the stairs immediately to find that she was right. Her father, dressed in a dark coat with a head of messy grey hair greeted her with a crooked smile. Soojung ran to him and leapt into his arms like a little child all over again. He hugs her tight and lifts her off the floor.

“I’ve missed you,” Soojung cries into his coat and he her hair gently.

“Me too.” He kisses her temple and releases her from his arms only to be greeted by Sooyeon standing there nervously. Yoochun invites him into the house. He declines. “I’ll be taking her home with me, we won’t be staying long.”

“She’s my daughter, Youngjae, you can’t take her.”

“You’ve made her miserable.”

“Why should you care? You’re not even her father,” Sooyeon spat bitterly. “From the moment you found out she wasn’t yours you distanced yourself from her. What kind of father is that?”

“I needed time to think,” Youngjae stammered and looked over at Soojung nervously. “But I’ve made up my mind now, regardless of blood, Soojung is my daughter and she wants to go home with me. As a parent you don’t keep your child locked up like a prisoner.”

Sooyeon rolls her eyes, “She’s a teenager. She doesn’t know what she wants. Two years ago she wanted to live in France and now that she’s here she wants to move back to Korea.”

“I’m not going to argue with you. Soojung, go back your bags and I’ll take you home.”

Soojung nods her head and rushes up the stairs in a heartbeat. Soojung ignores the hysteria in her mother’s voice as she closed the door shut behind her. She was finally leaving. She was finally going home.

***

Suzy arrives at the front of Joohyun’s house with a bag on her arm. Inside it held her toothbrush, her hairbrush, her pyjamas and her books. Hanging neatly on her coat hanger was her uniform that her driver was holding for her with one hand and in the other her sleeping bag. “Suzy?” Joohyun asks, tilting her head slightly to the side as the younger girl marched into the house. “What are you doing here?”

“Sleeping over!” Suzy chirps. She dismisses her driver for the night and closes the door behind him.

“I thought it was only going to be for one night? I’m fine now. Really.”

Suzy had stayed over the night before. Needless to say neither girl had slept that much but neither would admit it the morning they woke up and greeted each other with dark rings beneath their eyes. Joohyun was frightened by the idea of an intruder and Suzy wasn’t entirely comfortable sleeping on the sofa.

“I’ll stay until the locksmith can change the locks on your door.”

“That’s tomorrow Suzy,” Joohyun says. “You don’t really need to bother yourself.”

“Not a bother, I just bought my clothes so I’ll be more comfortable and well a sleeping bag in case it gets cold again.”

Joohyun bit the bottom of her lip and reluctantly nodded her head. She gestured Suzy towards the couch but she shook her head. “Can I sleep in your room?”

“On my bed?”

“No, just on the floor.”

Joohyun is confused by the proposal but agrees to it regardless.

“Are you sure you don’t want my bed?”

“I’m not going to come over to your house and kick you out of your bed.” Suzy smiles and rushes off into the bathroom to get changed and brushed her teeth. Joohyun laughs to herself at the absurdity of the situation. Suzy was definitely a bit of an oddball and it was something she hadn’t expected.

***

On the airplane, Soojung eases into the chair. It was the first time in a long time she had felt this relaxed despite her mother’s hysteria as she grabbed onto her whilst she tried to leave. She was so close to home, and with her father there for her Soojung knew that she was going to be alright.

“I should’ve listened to Sehun the first time he came to me, if I did you wouldn’t have had been alone for so long.” Youngjae leaned back into the seat and kicked up his feet.

“Sehun came to see you?” Soojung snapped her head in his direction immediately.

“Fought his way in like a mad man, he even spoke informally to me he was that angry. I had half a mind to throw him out but he had a point.”

“What did he say?”

Youngjae opened his eyes and looked at Soojung. He sat up and slowly he explained. “He said that I’m your father, and as your father I should protect and that means not using you as a bargaining chip.” Youngjae smiles as he recalls Sehun’s words, “I guess he knows what it feels like being adopted and what not.”

Soojung straightened herself out at the news and looked over at her phone. It would be a few more hours till they landed in Seoul. She wondered if her friends had missed her as much as she missed them.

“I promise, I’m not going to let anything happen to you again.” Soojung smiled as her father clasped his hand over hers and she feels like she’s ten again and everything looks promising.

“Love you, dad.”

***

“I hope my mother wasn’t too overbearing the other night.” Suzy was lying on the floor in Joohyun’s room. At least in here it was much more comfortable than the lumpy couch outside.

“To be honest you’re all quite intimidating.”

It was the first time Suzy had ever heard that she herself was intimidating. Despite all of her efforts to get close to Joohyun it was very apparent that the older girl still had her walls up. “I guess it runs in the family,” Suzy quips. Joohyun laughs in the darkness and so does Suzy. “You’re quite intimidating yourself upon first impression.” Joohyun chuckles and nods her head. “If it wasn’t for Sehun I would’ve agreed with that old lady that you were really scary.”

“Old lady?”

“She sells clothes near where you work.”

“Did you buy anything from her?”

“I bought a Chanel sweater. She kept insisting it was real.”

“Sorry, it’s hard out there and she’s just trying to make a living.”

“I know,” Suzy says, “I’ve seen enough Chanel to know if it’s fake or real. But I wanted to help her.”

“I always tell her to stop making false advertisements. She doesn’t like it when I nag at her. She thinks I’m mean because I keep calling her out for it. One day she’s going to get in trouble and I don’t want her to get hurt.”

The room turns silent and all Joohyun hears is Suzy grunting as she tries to make herself comfortable on the layers of blankets Joohyun had laid out for her. The older girl sits up and switches on the light. “You can sleep on the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I’m not coming over your house and making you sleep on the floor.”

“You’re my guest, I’m accommodating to my guest.” Joohyun grabs her pillow and her blanket in a pile in her arms.

Suzy sighs as Joohyun moves over to her side of the room ready to take her spot.

“How about we sleep together on the same bed?”

Joohyun stares at her double sized bed and wonders if Suzy would be comfortable sleeping let alone sleeping with her. She’s about to protest when Suzy takes the blankets and pillows out of her hand and neatly places them on the bed again. She pats the sheets and Joohyun reluctantly climbs in. Suzy reaches for the lamp and switches off the light.

In the darkness they laid in silence, listening to the sound of each other’s breath. It wasn’t as if Suzy had never slept with anyone before. She’s slept with Jongin, she’s slept with Soojung beside her but the distance between her and Joohyun was a lot closer than she had imagined. After all a tiny Jongin and Suzy barely took up any space at all on her queen sized bed. “I’m usually afraid of the dark,” Joohyun says. “It’s nice having someone around so I don’t get scared.”

“You’re afraid of the dark?” Suzy asks, a playful lilt in her voice.

“It’s normal to be afraid of the dark, even when you’re older.”

Suzy knows all too well about the horrors that the night brings and the shadows that lurk when the lights go out. “By the way, my limbs are quite long, so I apologise if I take up too much space when I sleep.”

“Well it’s a good think I’m smaller then or else we’d be squashed in this bed.”

“I’ll try not to squash you.”

The girls giggle and the distance between them becomes gradually less awkward. Despite Joohyun’s protest that Suzy should go to sleep early because she had school the next day, Suzy had so many questions to ask, so many things to talk about. She promised was going to take Joohyun around Seoul, take her to all the places she’s never been before, especially to her favourite places to eat and to shop.

She hadn’t realised that she had begun to talk about Jongin the other day when she was trying to avoid all the paparazzi. “So you like this boy?” Joohyun asks and Suzy holds her breath and hesitates for a second too long when she denies it. “Oh. Well he’s quite good-looking I can see why girls would like him. Sooyoung was telling me to take a picture of him for her to show her friends.”

Suzy snorts, “He’s a good friend...”

***

When Joohyun awakes she finds Suzy’s arm s around her waist, her face buried into her hair. The younger girl had curled up to her over night and Joohyun couldn’t bear to wake her up. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was six in the morning and the morning chill had settled in. Suzy’s body heat was keeping her warm despite the fact that the blanket was almost on the floor.

The younger girl stirs as Joohyun pulls the blanket back over their bodies. Suzy retreats her arm and turns with her back against Joohyun. The older girl breathes a sigh of relief but tenses as she notices the younger girl curl up into a ball. Suzy’s eyebrows knit together and she turns back to Joohyun their faces unexpectedly close.  

Suzy looks like a child when she’s asleep. Not like she didn’t when she was awake but when her guards are down, Joohyun couldn’t help but feel protective over the little girl. Sometimes it felt like Suzy was the bigger sister with everything that they had been through.

Joohyun slowly reaches out for Suzy, unsure about what to do for the girl who was having a nightmare. She looked terrified and Joohyun can see tears forming at the brim of her eyes. It rolls onto her pillow and Joohyun grabs Suzy by the hand in an attempt to lull her awake. Suzy grabs her hand and holds on a little tighter as Joohyun her back and calls her up.

Suzy opens her eyes and takes a deep breath. She sits up and Joohyun follows her. She pats her back and leans forward to observe her expression. “It was a nightmare, Suzy,” Joohyun says. “You’re in my house, you’re fine.”

Suzy releases the grip she has on the sheets and wipes her tears. She turns to Joohyun and smiles, “I’m fine, sorry, it’s just…”

“You don’t have to explain, I understand.”

Suzy nods her head and falls back down onto the pillow. She checks her phone for the time before trying to go back to sleep. It was still early after all and her driver wouldn’t be there for another hour and a half. Joohyun lies back down beside her, both girls staring at the ceiling and neither speaking.

“Sometimes I have nightmares, it’s ok.” Suzy tries to sound convincing but she realises how ridiculous she sounded. Nightmares weren’t normal, let alone nightmares where she woke up crying and terrified.

It had been a while since Suzy had taken anything to help her sleep and she found that the nightmare came more frequent without them. “I’ll make us breakfast, what would you like?”

Suzy doesn’t want to request anything, she knows Joohyun already feels burdened having her there. She merely requests for anything that Joohyun has and the older girl is happy to oblige.

***

“Soojung?” Suzy asked as she answered the phone.

There’s a silence on the other end of the line before she speaks up. “I’m home.” There’s something satisfying about saying the word home and believing it. Soojung was finally home with her friends and with her father where she belonged.

“Welcome home!” Suzy chirped onto the other end of the line.

“Yeah, how about dinner tonight to celebrate? Me, you, Sehun and…Jongin.”

“That sounds great. Organise and get the details to me. I’ll see you tonight. I’m late for class.”

Before Soojung could utter in a goodbye Suzy had already hung up the phone. She takes it in her stride and laughs, Suzy being late to class was in fact odd considering that she was usually on time. Soojung doesn’t really think twice about it. It was just nice to be home. She was staying at her father’s penthouse where he had plenty of rooms to spare. She assumed he never got used to staying in a one-room apartment like when he had moved out originally.

However it’s still unfurnished and most of his boxes are still unpacked. With the time she had on her hands Soojung took it into her own hands to make it feel like home again.

***

Suzy finds Sehun and Jongin at the back steps of the school. They stood side-by-side, leaning against the wall and taking a deep drag of their cigarettes. Suzy notes the crushed cigarettes beneath their feet and sighs. “My boys,” Suzy says sarcastically, tapping her feet impatiently. Sehun looked worse off than the last time she had seen him. “What’s wrong now?”

Jongin snorts and turns his head towards her, “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.” After a silent pause Suzy beams, “Soojung is back in Korea.”

Jongin his head to the side, “Really?”

Suzy nods her head but the lack of response from Sehun was concerning. He took another drag from his cigarette and looked off into the distance. “Yeah we’re having dinner tonight – all four of us…” Suzy eyed Jongin who only offered her a smirk. “Did you hear me, Sehun?”

Sehun rolls his eyes “Yes, Princess.” He snaps his head towards her, “Loud and clear.”

Suzy glances at Jongin who only offers her a shrug and a pat on the shoulder as he left them alone, hopefully to talk. As the door closed behind Suzy, she placed herself beside Sehun. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Or do I just assume you’re upset with me because of the whole issue with Joohyun.”

“Who am I to deny someone the right to get to know their family?” Sehun snorts, “I’m just an orphan myself.”

Suzy stood up and reached for his face, she turned it towards her, “What’s wrong?” her soft voice beckons him to look at her. “Tell me, Sehun.”

Reluctantly he gives in and explains. Suzy usually had it wrong when it came to Sehun and his intentions. After all he was the one who convinced Joohyun to take the paternity test. “What can I do?” Suzy asks and Sehun just lets out a laugh.

“Nothing.”

***

Jongin finds Suzy in the library. She’s reading her book in the back corner of the library. Seasons may change but Suzy’s beauty is timeless. “How’s Sehun?” Jongin asks as he takes a seat beside her. Holding onto a book of his own as to not get caught by the librarian who has kicked him out on a few occasions. Mostly for sleeping in the library and snoring loudly.

“Didn’t you talk to him?”

“Yes, but guys don’t do that emotional stuff you girls do.”

Suzy squints her eyes at Jongin and pushes him off her gently. “Not sure, maybe you should try to get in touch with your feminine side.”

“Suzy…” Jongin said low and steady, “Please.”

“He might be taken away from his parents. How do you think he feels?” Suzy continues reading her book and ignoring how Jongin was leaning against her with his entire body weight. He swung his legs over the arms of the chair and placed his book over his face.

“They can’t take him, he’s 17. He should be able to make decisions for himself. You’re all worried about nothing.”

“Cause you know so much about adoptions right?” Suzy nudged him but he did little to shift away from her, only falling harder against her. Jongin yawned and closed his eyes. “Why are you so tired anyway? It’s not like you’ve been out till late.”

Jongin laughs, “I’ve been up late messaging Seulgi.”

“Seulgi?” Suzy utters her name, trying to recall the name and face. “Kang Seulgi?”

“Yeah…” Jongin says, slowly drifting off to sleep under a blanket of the sun's rays.

“Are you two dating now?” Suzy asks, trying to sound impassive. She wasn’t sure why the thought of it tugged at her. She was certain she closed the door on them a while ago. 

“Getting there.”

But Suzy lies.

***

 Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.

I always resist trying to write down here because I always like seeing what you guys have to say in regards to everything without me influencing anything. That being said I wanted to clear up the issue about Jongin's/Sehun's feelings. Mostly because they're 17 (they all are) and everyone seems to be in the notion that Jongin/Sehun has to love Suzy/Soojung always and not have feelings for anyone else. Suzy/Soojung have been pretty passive when it comes to the boys and it's only natural that they move on to people who respond better to their presence. It doesn't mean the feelings have diminished completely for anyone but we're building up (hopefully) to a moment that's worth waiting for. I think that's all I wanted to say without giving it away. Definitely having some turning points soon. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. xo