***

Skipping classes becomes something more frequent and concerning to his teachers. When his parents are informed of this, Jongin remains impassive. When Jongin was younger he adored his father. So much that he idolised him as much as he feared and respected him. Until recently Jonghyun was Jongin's hero. Sitting in his father’s office with his mother by his side, he does his best to avoid his father’s gaze.  But not because he was fearful of his father, maybe just a little. But he was mostly afraid that all the anger and resentment he had gathered would boil over.

His mother reaches across and holds his hand tenderly, “What’s wrong?” she asks and Jongin merely shrugs his shoulders.

Jonghyun’s hands were balled into a fist till the point where his knuckles turned white. Jongin noticed how his breathing was becoming louder, and heavier. “If you’re not going to attend classes, you’ll be working as an intern for the office then.”

“Dad!”

“The only reason you’re not already there is because of the fact that you’re still a student. But I find you wasting your time, skipping classes, frolicking around like a delinquent—”

“It’s called dancing.”

Jonghyun coughs, pats his chest and rises from his seat. “Your blood pressure, darling,” Yeonhee sounds concerned and Jonghyun waves her off. “Is there something bothering you? You have been out for the past few nights, even though it’s a school night. You haven’t been home for dinner and you’re gone before breakfast. Are you avoiding us?”

Jongin sighed, he was sick of this; sick of the questions. Sick of feeling guilty for something that he couldn’t control. His parents had no one else to blame but themselves for the placing all their hopes and dreams onto him. Why not Ara? Why not someone who actually wanted to be there?

“I’m going to get someone to keep an eye on you.”

“Like a criminal?” Jongin scoffs, “Won’t make a difference anyways, it’s not like I’ve ever had any freedom to do what I want.”

“What you want?” Jonghyun spat in disgust. “You don’t know what you want! You’re still a teenager! If it hadn’t been for me you wouldn’t be who you are today.”

Jongin meets his father’s eyes and immediately he regrets it. He feels the fire ignite inside of him; Pandora’s box opening. “You’re right. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be a person living with crushing expectations and constantly fearing failure. I wouldn’t be staying up late at night, wondering if this was all there was to life. I’m a teenager and my life from birth to death has been planned out to the second. I would gladly be a poor man if it meant being free from your ridiculous notions of money and power.”

Jonghyun and Yeonhee sat in silence, neither of them saying a word as they absorbed in everything that he had said. “Then move out of this home.”

“Darling!” Yeonhee protested.

“If you would rather give up all this luxury, for whatever bourgeois lifestyle you want to lead then leave.”

Jongin nods his head. “All I wanted was your blessing.”

“Jongin!”

The two men rose from their seat at the same time, gazes fixed square on each other as Yeonhee tried her best to diffuse the situation. “No one is leaving, not at this moment. Jongin go to your room. We’ll discuss this further tomorrow.”

Jongin rolls his eyes and turns on his heels slamming the door shut behind him.

“I barely recognise him,” Jonghyun grumbles and collapses into his seat. He his chest to calm himself down and Yeonhee rises from her seat. “If you ask me it’s those friends of his. I mean look at their parents.”

“Now, now,” Yeonhee intercepts. “In the event where you don’t want to drive the wedge further between you and your son, I’d suggest you not drag his friends into this. Also, I enjoy Miyoung and Sooyeon’s company, I can’t say the same for Jihyun though but we all know that story.”

Jonghyun smirked, “A bitter high school rivalry, and you still hold onto that?”

Yeonhee rolled her eyes, “Please, its clear I came out victorious, look at me. A loving husband and three beautiful children.”

“Yeah, things would’ve been heaps different if it was you that won that modelling contract all those years ago.” Yeonhee shrugs her shoulders and sauntered out of the door. The past was in the past.

***

The thing about Jihyun and Suzy was that despite the fact that they lived in the same house, breathed the same air, they couldn’t be further apart. Even as Suzy sat across from her on their Italian Designer sofa Suzy couldn’t even meet her eye. “I have an older sister?” she asks, her lips quivering and stomach churning as she spoke.

They had lied to her. Of course they did. It wasn’t the first time. Like when her father told her he’d never leave her side before he travelled overseas, or how her mother told her there was no one else, but her. She’s numb, but this is different. There was someone else out there who was also a victim because of their actions and Suzy couldn’t help but feel a kinship to her.

“I was eighteen when I fell pregnant with her, your father and I were clearly over our heads and nowhere near ready to settle down. He still had a future and my modelling career was about to take off over the year.”

“Why did you keep it-” Suzy paused, “Why did you keep her then?”

“Because she deserved a chance, despite everything,” Jihyun says. It was the first time, Suzy believed, that Jihyun showed concern and care for anyone other than herself. Even Suzy who sat inches away from her, who had her long dark locks and dark brown eyes and lovely smile, had never seen nor felt such affection from her mother. “We handed her over to the Sister’s at the church in hopes that they’d take care of her and find her a better home.”

Suzy calmly reached for the glass of red wine on the table and brought it to her lips, the tart flavour running down the back of leaving a bitter taste. Yet none as bitter as the words that fell from her mother’s lips.

Disbelief struck her. Then anger followed by grief and frustration settled in. “Suzy,” her mother grabbed onto her hand, running her thumb over her knuckles soothingly. “Do you have anything to say?”

“I have a sister,” Suzy says again, voice hollow and empty as it reverberated in the marbled room. “Where is she now?”

“We never looked.”

“So even when you were ready to have me you didn’t want her back in your life?”

“To take her away from the family who were raising her and had learned to love her over the past three years?”

“But you didn’t know! You don’t know if she ended up with a nice family!” Suzy realises the moment that she looks into her mother’s eyes she wanted nothing more than to find this girl. Whoever she was, or wherever she was.

The weight of her words settle on Jihyun and her mother leans back into her chair. “You’re going to look for her aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

***

“You’re practically searching for a needle in a haystack. It’s been twenty years now.”

Sehun had a point. There was little to identify her with and Suzy was certain Jihyun was holding something crucial back. There was little known about this girl. One of the biggest piece of information was that she was given to the same church where Sehun was left.

“Yeah, it’s pretty much a social hub.” Sehun rolls his eyes at his own comment and picks at his fries. “Why do you want to do this so badly? What happens if she doesn’t want to be found? Don’t you think there’s a reason why she hasn’t found you yet? Maybe she’s happy being where she is.”

“Like you?”

“I found out my parents abandoned me because of money, exactly what your parents did to your sister. Is that something I wish I didn’t know? Probably.”

Suzy rolls her eyes, “But you have closure now yes?”

Sehun shrugs. “My parents took a while to talk to each other like they do. My real parents,” Sehun reiterates. He hadn’t contacted his birth mother for a few months now. Not since she last approached him with the offer to move. He had hoped they took his silence as a rejection because he had no intention of leaving behind what he has for them.

“Well my parents already don’t talk to each other, so it’ll make no difference.”

“Suzy…”

“Sehun, I need to find her. There’s someone out there who’s like me and I want to see her. Talk to her and get to know her. If not for her then for me. I need this.”

“I want to understand, but there’s no way that this won’t end badly.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s us, the world always manages to find a way to screw us up.”

***

Soojung arrives at the airport in a cab. The driver helps to unload her luggage from the boot and offers her a curt smile before he leaves. The guy had been giving her the creeps the entire ride and she had almost wished that she had taken the offer to get driven by Sehun. But goodbyes are long and hard, and Soojung had no time for emotional, weepy business.

As if on cue her phone rings whilst Soojung is handing over her ticket to the check in counter. “Hello?”

“I thought we had an agreement, Princess,” Sehun sounded upset which only made Soojung happy.

“Sorry,” she teases, “I can do this myself.”

“I thought we agreed on me driving you.”

“Well, you were busy today, so there was no point.”

“Never too busy for you, Princess.” Soojung rolls her eyes. “So no goodbyes this time?”

“Nah, they’re too longwinded,” Soojung laughs clamping he phone between her shoulder and head as she juggled around her documents. She handed her luggage over to the attendant and picked up her Chanel bag before making her way to check in. She notices the noise in the background of the phone call and assumes that Sehun is driving. She hears car horns honking loudly, no doubt at him. “Where are you?”

“On my way home from lunch with Suzy, she’s got pretty juicy goss.”

“Well you two seem to be the best of friends lately, I’m not surprised.”

“Are you jealous, Princess?” Sehun’s teasing and chuckling on the other end of the line.

“Of? Your budding relationship with Suzy? Not really. We talk about things you could never understand.”

“Like?”

“Boys, girls, family, school… you know actual life problems. The female body,” Soojung says slyly as if intended to put Sehun off.

“Princess, there’s nothing about the female body that I don’t know about…intimately.”

Soojung scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Creep,” she utters beneath her breath but into the microphone so Sehun hears her loud and clear. “Why are you calling me anyway? I need to board soon.”

“I wanted to ask you a question.”

“What?”

“Who are you going to miss the most?”

“Definitely not you.” She’s teasing, of course. Soojung had to admit that the past month without Sehun, without Suzy and heck without Jongin had been a bit of a struggle for her. Being in a foreign country with no connections was hard. It’s not like she couldn’t have had called them. But there was a part of her that believed if she did it would’ve been harder.

“So who is it then?”

“What do you want Sehun? I’m about to go into customs.” She’s tired of humouring him. It was making it harder for her to leave. Literally.

“Who are you going to miss the most?”

“No one, you’re all jerks,” Soojung says indignantly. Part honestly, part jokingly till her voice softens. “But keep a close eye on Suzy for me.”

“What is with everyone? Why am I being given this responsibility of being the mother of the group? They can look after themselves…”

“You know what I mean!” Soojung snaps.

“No, I don’t. So maybe you should stay behind and look after them yourself.”

“Oh yeah? And where will I stay?”

“With me!” Soojung stops in her tracks and turns on her heel slowly towards the familiar voice.

It was Suzy and Sehun, standing side by side with victorious grins on their face. They had found her, reached her before she had left. “Stay with me!” Suzy suggests again.

“What are you--?”

“I was buying time,” Sehun waves his phone in her face and smirks. “That’s what you get for leaving without saying goodbye.”

“Listen, I know that the months before you left weren’t the best. But we didn’t even get the chance to fix it and you left.”

“Could you blame me?”

Suzy shakes her head. Of course she doesn’t. “I wish I could tell you that things will be ok if you stayed. I wish I could tell you that we’ll be ok. I can’t because I don’t know. But if there’s one thing I know it’s you. I know that no matter how much we dream of travelling overseas, living in shoebox apartments, falling in love with writers and singers, Seoul will always be home to you. Even if you’ll never admit it.”

“Suzy, my whole life is in France now. My mother is there and she’s the only family I have left. I can’t abandon her, I promised her that I’d comeback and San…”

“You’ve barely been there for two months,” Sehun chimed in.

Suzy and Soojung glared at him for interrupting their moment before they turned back to each other. Truth was Soojung was having a hard time placing herself anywhere at the moment. France wasn’t home and home was somewhere that had too many bad memories for her.

“Flight FR329 is currently boarding. Please head to Gate B.”

Suzy grabbed onto Soojung’s hand, “It’s your choice.”

***

The crowd cheers for her tonight as they do every other night and she bows, gracefully and exits the stage all the same. Jongin is waiting backstage, and her fellow ballerinas know to already leave them be. “You did great tonight,” he congratulates her and hands her a bouquet of yellow tulips.

“How did you know?” she asks suspiciously, staring at her favourite flowers and Jongin smiles smugly.

“If you like someone enough, a little research isn’t too much effort.”

“Research or stalking?” she asks jokingly which leaves Jongin flushed.

He scratches the back of his head. “Look, I had fun at dinner last time.”

“Me too,” she says observing the bouquet in her arms.

“So then why didn’t you call me back?”

Seulgi looks at him, she smiles, “I’ve been busy,” she turns on the balls of her heels and starts to slowly walk to the change room.

“Busy?” Jongin asks in disbelief.

“Want me to break it down for you?” Seulgi quips much to Jongin’s amusement. He nods his head. “Well if it’s a school days I attend classes like normal. I wake up at seven, have breakfast, and leave the house by a quarter to eight. My curriculum follows most students. Maths, literature, Japanese tutor, lunch.”

Jongin laughs and nods his head, “Lunch is important.”

“Chemistry, French tutor and ballet lessons.”

“Dinner?”

“If I can find the time between practices. On weekends I have more dance lessons, some time to catch up on reading and I spend a bit of time with my family. I told you before, Jongin. If I want to be a prima ballerina, everything has to take the back seat. Even relationships.”

“Even friendship?”

“Depends with who,” Seulgi says with a smirk.

“You don’t want to be friends?”

“Not really, no.” Seulgi says with a laugh that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and finishes with a smile that Jongin wished wasn’t so sweet.

“I see,” Jongin says with a sigh, sounding defeated by her rejection.

“I mean, you’re not someone I can just be friends with,” Jongin looks up, confused as to whether or not he understood what she was implying. “So I’d rather save us time, effort and disappointment by not pursui—”

“Sure you can!” Jongin disagrees. “I like you and you like me.” He observes the expression on her face and how the corner of her lips rise, bemused. “I mean, platonically. Let’s try,” Jongin cuts in, “Let’s try and be friends.” Seulgi’s words of protest falls on deaf ears because Jongin is desperate.

He sounds so pitiful, he looks so broken and Seulgi swears that she’s not giving into anything. “Friends,” she says and extends her hand.

Jongin stares at it and smiles, “Friends,” he repeats. He shakes her hands but their hands lingers for a little longer than it’s supposed to.

***

“Do you remember the last time we actually went out dancing?” Sehun asks Suzy on their drive back to her place. “I really want to go out dancing. Meet some girls. Have fun.”

“Go.” Suzy doesn’t look at him, her eyes were too busy fixed on the streaks of lights that formed as Sehun drove past. “No one’s stopping you.” Suzy rests her cheek against the window and closed her eyes. Another day had already drawn to a close and she was tired to her bones. Too tired to even humour Sehun who seemed adamant on having fun. After all it was a Friday night.

Sehun rolls his eyes, “You used to know how to party. That was one thing I liked about you.”

Suzy chuckles. “It was the only thing we had in common back then.”

Suzy wound down the window of Sehun’s car and breathed in the air as it rushed past her. The cold breeze stung her cheeks but calmed her immensely. “She’s coming back you know,” Sehun says. Suzy nods, she knows, Soojung wouldn’t lie. She said so herself that she’d come back. But there was something else that was making her feel nervous. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach and she didn’t know how to calm them down.

“Sehun,” Suzy says. If you had asked her a year ago, the last person Suzy would’ve ever confided in would’ve been Oh Sehun. But here they were, partners in crime, thick as thieves, it would seem – maybe because Jongin was off in his own, having want nothing to do with her, and well Soojung was back in France – only temporarily – and Suzy was wondering if he would accompany her to find her sister.

“What are friends for?”

***

We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoy and please leave a comment.
xo