Poster 1

I woke up, I was stuck in a dream
You were there, you were tearing up everything
And we all know how to fake it baby
And we all know what we've done
We must be killers
Children of the wild ones

***

The fact that there’s no guide on how to grow up simply means that no one’s been able to figure it out yet.

Maybe there is no right way to grow up.

Maybe you’ve just got to go through the motions and hope that you come out fine.

***

They were drowning, dragged down by responsibilities and expectations that were like boulders chained to their ankles.

She was dying, he was too.

He reaches out for her, gritty hands grazing over her porcelain skin. She could feel the earth giving way beneath her, slowly and she knew that he wanted an answer she desperately wanted to give.

“Take me away, will you?” it wasn’t so much of a question rather more of a plea.

***

 Prologue:

They were a by-product of powerful mothers and powerful fathers. Most of them were. Some of them probably had it worst. However, not everyone is built the same. Bae Suzy was born with a silver spoon in and it wasn’t long before that silver turned gold. She owned diamonds, whilst Kim Jongin owned much more. They lived side by side with their giant penthouses towering over a beautiful city.

However it didn’t matter to either of them because all they cared about was spending hazy summer days in their backyards wielding crowns from flowers and fighting with swords made of plastic. Suzy would dance around in her dress, covered in dirt and Jongin would watch his ‘princess’ carefully from the side. Jongin guarded her from all things big and bad, he always would.

In winter they’d spend nights in blanket fortes, with torch lights and old bound books, telling stories.  It started when Suzy had picked up a big book when she was barely eight and Jongin made her read to him every night till he fell asleep. Suzy didn’t mind, Jongin was family, and there wasn’t anything that she wouldn’t do for her family.

However, the age of innocence didn’t last long, not for them.

***

When he was ten, his father lifted him onto his lap and handed him a key with his own name engraved in it. “When you’re eighteen, you will have the world,” Kim Jonghyun promised as he pressed the key into Jongin’s palm. Jongin stared at the key suddenly filled with curiosity. His finger ran over his initials engraved so beautifully on the surface. “However, till then, you must promise me that you will work hard to earn this key.”

Jongin nodded, wrapped the key protectively in his hand and brought it close to his chest. Jongin remembered everything that happened afterwards. He watched as his father placed him carefully on his feet, and rose to his feet with the sun painted all over his back melting over his shoulder. Jongin tilted his head towards the sky as Jonghyun tousled his loose locks with a hopeful smile on his youthful face.  He would forever look up to his father, even as his legs grew so long that he could stare his father straight in the eye.

As the years past, as Jongin grew he continually pushed harder to be the best at everything. When he was in middle school he set a standard by consistently topping his classes, A’s were fine with him, no lower, no higher. He always knew he could push himself but he didn’t try that hard with his studies. He pursued ballet as one of three boys on the team. He fell in love with it and excelled. By the high school came around, Jongin’s reign really began. He was tall but lean, a result of all the years of dancing, his eyes were a deep dark brown, and some girls would say it was hazel in the sunlight. His hair was always so neatly cut, and perfectly styled back. Girls snuck into practice to try and catch a glimpse of him, so powerful and yet so graceful in the way he moved.

Before the start of his first year of high school he would travel overseas as a part of a philanthropic mission, alone. “I’ll miss you, loser,” said Suzy as she wrapped him in her arms.

Jongin smiled and took another sip of his whisky on ice, “It’s killing you to be kind, isn’t it?” he teased.

Suzy smirked and shrugged her shoulders. She took a sip of her own drink and placed it down on the coaster beside her. They both watched as the lights on the dance floor flashed and felt the vibration from the music through the tip of their fingers. People were all dancing, limbs were all tangled with each other as boys and girls drowned themselves in each other. There was a lot of love in the room, a lot of celebrating the end of the semester and Jongin’s farewell for now party.

It was going to be three months, ‘slumming it’ (which is an understatement) but Jongin didn’t mind so much about that as opposed to being away from everyone, from Sehun and Soojung, from Suzy too.

“Hey Suzy,” Jongin said, turned around to face her with blurry eyes and a wicked smile. He grabbed her shoulders and took a deep breath. “I love you,” he confessed. “I love you, and I want to tell you in case something happens to me on this trip.”

Suzy smiled, “I love you too,” but Suzy’s reply came short of being emotional. They were friends, childhood friends. They played together when their parents went away to far away countries for days and weeks on end. They sat in the classroom together side by side, sending each other secret hand written messages and drawings of their teacher with stink lines coming out of him. They were the last two to be picked up – always but it never matter because they were together, always.

Jongin frowned he was frustrated that she didn’t understand what he meant. The alcohol deprived his brain of any sustenance and therefore any good judgement skills. He leaned in and kissed her, smack bang on the lips. “I-love-you,” he said breathlessly.

Suzy furrowed her eyebrows, “Jongin, I…” she stammered. “I need some air.” Suzy slipped from his grip and walked away slowly, intoxicated. Jongin cursed at himself as he watched her leave, he didn’t follow her.

***

Suzy was as beautiful as her bombshell of a mother was - is.

Jeon Jihyun was a model in her prime. She met Suzy’s father when they were in high school and after separating for a few years they found their way back to each other. They were young when they had Suzy. She was however, always second when it came to her father’s business adventures and her mother’s jobs. It was for the best that they never had another child when they barely had time for one.

Everyone always said that Suzy looked exactly like her mother, with the exception of her eyes. Her eyes were like her father’s, soft and not manic, Eunsang, their housemaid, and Suzy’s closest thing to a mother, would tell her. However, it would seem that her mother’s beauty was probably the only thing that Suzy inherited from her. Suzy’s love for novels and the arts were something she developed on her own. Suzy would remember spending practices watching Jongin dance, as he pirouetted in the centre of the room and bowed. It was his own choreography, something he had been practicing and perfecting for a while now. That was the difference between Jongin and Suzy. He loved to create new things, whilst Suzy was fascinated with the old. Jongin’s choreography hadn’t had a name, whilst Suzy perfected Giselle.

Despite their similarities, they had a lot of differences between them. Yet, they never clashed. Suzy understood Jongin and he understood her. She understood his passion, and embraced his competitiveness. He accepted her problems and encouraged her in all she did. He always brought out the best in her like she did him.

When they were fourteen, Suzy had found out that her father had cheated on her mother. She sat on the top of the stairs with Jongin by her side, holding onto her as she heard her parents yell at each other at the top of their lungs. Their fingers intertwined and Jongin would feel her grip tightening every time she heard a crash or a bang. “You’re never home; you’re never here for me or your daughter!” he heard her mother scream. They heard plates shattering and her father stormed off, slammed the door behind him but not before he called her a ‘manipulative ’.

Jongin turned to Suzy in that moment and she smiled at him reassuringly. “It’s for the best,” she said without a tint of sadness in her voice. Jongin had known for a while, he often heard Suzy wish on falling stars for her parents to stop arguing, for her father to leave. She believed that no matter how cold and calculative her mother was, Suzy could always rely on her to be a constant. She believed that had Jihyun cheated she wouldn’t be surprised nor would she care, this was the image that Suzy had built of her mother.

However, it was because Suzy had spent years trying to look more like her father that his infidelity hurt her. Suzy always kept her hair as short as she could, she hated it when her mother forced her into a dress and painted her face with make-up till she was no longer Suzy and merely a younger Jeon Jihyun as the press would have it. She didn’t want to look anything like her mother. Her mother was gorgeous, yes, but she was cold and calculative, and Suzy believed that it was always her beauty that caused her to wilt and turn cold. Her father was the one she loved and aspired to be. He was smart and charming but he was protective and he was always warm to her. Not anymore.

It had been fifteen months since she left Seoul unannounced and Suzy had forgotten how hot spring could be back at home. It was the perfect weather for shorts and singlets, with legs dangling from the balcony as they on the ice cream that was melting down their wrists. Suzy wondered what her old neighbour was up to and if he had caught wind of her return. Social media sites had been bursting with life since her return, wondering why she was back so suddenly.

Her father had been in the magazines, his affair with his secretary had leaked and her bombshell of a mother was apparently locked up in their home, she had disappeared from the scene completely. Her return seemingly acted as the confirmation they all were looking for.

‘Bae Suzy went away to fix up her face, that’s the only reason to explain why she looks so much prettier.’

‘Bae Suzy who?’

‘Does Bae Suzy’s return threaten the current queen?’

Suzy hated social media but it was hard to ignore. She had been off the radar for a solid year, with a few rumours popping up here and there. She reached for her bag and pulled out a yellow bottle and pulled out two small pills. She ate it like candy and popped it back in her bag. She was back, for now, and it was beginning all over again.

This is Gossip Girl inspired (mainly) and every teen drama you've probably ever seen. 
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xo