“Sohee-ah…. Where are you….? Are you okay…?” Sunye’s soft worry mother voice echoes through the phone. She recently came back to Korea to visit with her little family. She must have found about the news…. already…

“I…am…home… Don’t worry about me…(laugh) I just got done with a photo-shoot and I am about to sleep in a little bit. Unnie, I will see you and baby Hailey tomorrow okay?” I try my hardest to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. My voice was trembling and my eyes swell with tears but I still manage to pull off with a pretty good lie. I know that for many nights to come I will never get a peaceful sleep again. My heart is too beaten that sleep is the last thing on my mind. I have my manager oppa fill my schedule with all kind of works that will take my mind off the devastating news that recently came out.

“The girls and I are outside, open the door” she commands through the phone. Then quickly hangs up. I run to my vanity mirror and have a quickly dry my tears with the sleeve of my “SmileBiGG” sweater. My eyes were swollen and red…

 “Let’s hope the Unnies won’t notice”, I whisper to myself before I open the door. A fake smile was plastered on my face.

“Unnie!!! Why are you guys here at this time of the morning…? it is 3am. Don’t you gals have any activities tomorrow?” I quickly fill in the awkward silent. They were giving me worried looks… the one and only look I hated most… I avoid eye contact with all of them; I lead them to the couch. When I was about to turn to the kitchen to get some snack. Yubin Unnie softly grabs my forearm.

“You know that you are awfully poor at lying… and that you can’t hide things from us? We have been through thick and thin together…. We know more than what you think. We, too are hurting because of this. We are hurting because we cannot help you lessen the pain, we cannot help you share your heartache or the burden on your shoulder.” Yeeun Unnie softly whisper

“If it hurt, let it out…. You are like a bomb ticking away if you’re bottling all those emotions inside… the least we can do as your unnies is to comfort you when you need someone there. To be your shoulders to lean on and be your pillars of support.” Yubin Unnie coo while giving me a hug.

I turn my head toward Sunmi, she just recently came back from the M-countdown with the 2pm Oppas and Got7 donsaengs. She was already crying softly… her big puppy eyes looking up at me, Sunye Unnie and Lim were wiping their tears away while Yubin and Yeeun Unnie were hugging me, no they were squeezing the life out of me. It was not until I feel something wet my cheeks that I realize that I was crying, NO I was BAWLING.

I wail out the hurtful pain that I have keep inside since I’ve first found out that they were dating. The emotions, I kept to myself all these times, the pains I dare not tell the unnies or burden them with. The undescribed pains that I never felt before, when I first found out they were dating four months ago… the pain was too much to bear, to see him every day… I decided to not renew my contract with JYP Entertainment even though they were my “Family.” I was slowly dying each day… when the news came out it was the knock-out punch that literally killed me. 

The girls quickly surround me, joining in the group hug. My crying consists of hiccups and gasping for air. Although I hate crying in front of them and seen as weak, I am thankful that they are the ones by my side. We stay in the group hug for quite a long time, when suddenly the doorbell ring. I pull away and walk to the door, without looking and asking for whom there I swing open the door. To my surprise, there stood………