My head lolls to the side. Sleep or therefore lack of sleep last night was enough to stiffen my neck and shoulders and to puff out my face and eyes. I felt around my eyes. Yes, they’re puffy alright. The reflection in the mirror betrays me. I look like myself again. Not tired, not stiff and definitely not puffy.

I open the door to my quarters, the jamb almost colliding to a passing maid. She bows, I don’t know if in fear or recognition of me, and slips past the hallway almost sprinting.

Oh…

I close the doors again and make sure to lock it. My body felt airy, although I really don’t want food my body’s screaming for it. I wave the nagging churning of my stomach and lie again, this time on the recliner facing my windows. I don’t open the curtains and I have never opened the windows for the past 10 years. Rust should have permanently shut them but Gela opens them when she visits me.

Gela is the only one I talk to now, well,except for—

Hmm… I can’t even say their names.

Gela knocks on my door. She’s the only one I allow inside my room and my thoughts. I wait a minute, then two. It doesn’t matter how long, she will wait and I find it very annoying yet I’m thankful. I mumble the words but she hears it. She may come in and yes, she may use her key.

She sets down food and drink on my bedside table. She sighs, her footsteps dragging on the floor. I hear her drag the table next to the recliner, to me. I take a deep inhale uttering the same, overused words I say to her.

“Thank you Gela, please leave me for the rest of the day.”

“Bu—“I raise my hand, brandished in silver rings and bracelets. Sometimes, in the moonlight they look like they’re about to drip off my fingertips. I know that she meekly nods. Once, I looked at her while she delivers me food and memorizes all her movements so the next time I don’t even look at her I just correlate the sounds to her actions.

Today, I will not hunt. I will not talk to my Hunters. I will wait for the moon and then… and then, maybe—

“Queen Beatrice?” my breath stills, I was almost to my feet until I gripped myself and settle lower on the recliner.

“Today, we have to eat dinner together.” She starts.

 “All of us.” She adds. She shuffles closer and steps beside me. The side that is open, the side without a side table. I caught the hem of her dress as I dare to look and then her smile comes into view as she claims my hand and caress it.

“Has it been that long?” I count the days in my head and reclaim my hand. I grab the glass of nectar and use it as a distraction. “You will most definitely be there but the Hunters don’t need a useless Queen.”

She doesn’t answer but she chooses to still kneel beside me, patient. “Should I make you Queen?” I grab one hunting knife and run the blade along the flesh of my forearm. The wound bleeds and the metallic odor spreads in the room only for just a second then it disappears.

“Hmmm…”

“I have more important business. Dinner can wait.” I stand, my dress swishing across the floor.

I felt airy. Thankfully the armory was empty. Young ones passed me and they were chatting. I blocked out their conversations just in case. I locked the armory. Hmmm… I’ve been so fond of locking rooms.

“Hello.” I extend my hand to it. The one wrapped in fur. My bow and one arrow collecting dust. Everyone has forgotten the image of their queen holding a bow but I have not. Never.

Beatrice. I look around, disoriented. The voice repeats. It was hollow and haunting like Artemis’ voice. I run out of the armory and head into the woods. I found a shaded place and sat there, closing my eyes waiting for night to come.

“State your business.” The voice comes from nowhere, it should have startled me but not today. Drachmas materialize in my palms, the voice chuckles and the never ending golden gates open. The drachmas disappear and as I inch towards the open gates, laughter welcomes me and encourages me to take bigger and faster steps.

Elysium is a big place but whenever I come here I am always led to them. Always. Elysium sparkles golden, it looks and feels so warm unlike silver. Silver is too cold. How, you ask did the mortals achieve Elysium? Simple, I begged, pleaded and traded for their place here. As queen of the Hunters, it’s not an achievement to be proud of but I still did it for their sake.

“Who are you?” a kind voice catches me off guard. Mother!

“Mother its me, Danbi.” I hold her semi opaque hand. She smiles in recognition but stays quiet. Father is beside her, his arm always around her shoulders. I take his hand and he smiles too. I don’t let go, even if it tires me. We talk, or mostly I talk and tell them practically anything. At first, I shared my experiences being punished and how they became my parents then as time passed I told them about me being queen. Even though they won’t remember I don’t tell them their death.

I talk to them until my arm shakes and my palm sweats. Mother remembers me more than father does but when I let go they both wander off and their eyes reflect nothing. I try to capture them but they drift away too fast.

“Who are you?” They’re always here, all six of them. The tree sickens me, it reminds me of hot blood flowing out of the