It is human nature to fear the dark, because lurking in the dark, concealed under its sinister cloak is the unknown.

The dark’s lack of light does not invoke fear in me. Fog on the other hand creeps up deep within my body and mind and awakens a hidden fear. Fog is light, never dark but it is heavy, dense and no matter how much you swat away the heavy, moisture filled air it always settles around you, even its clean, crisp scent lingers.

The cold biting at my toes shivered my body awake. My mind’s fogged and my head’s swimming like I’ve drank a whole barrel of intoxicating wine.

I race to the bathroom, avoiding my reflection as I pass the mirror and relieve myself, still shivering, I shuffle back to my bed. I noticed as I lie awake, my window was carelessly opened letting the cold air in.

I cross the room in a couple of strides, tiptoeing as if the floor’s made of ice. Thick plumes of low lying clouds spilled over the road. “Fog” I mutter with contempt, hands lightly clutching the cold metal edges of the window.

Good, he left. I wanted to feel relief from his absence but I felt no different than yesterday, when he was here touching mother while I watched.

My eyes glazed over the fog blanketed neighborhood. Sighing, I close the window relishing the cool metal against my palm. I tiptoe back to my bed, body light and airy.

I inhaled deeply, the coarse planes of my lips.  When will I go back? As soon as I become aware of the thought, it vanishes or I chase it away. No, not yet.

“Zoe.” I whisper into the cold air of the room.

Zoe. I whimper, sliding back to press my back against the wall.

My head hits the fuzzy tummy of the kind bear Hyuk gave me. I dig for him in the sea of sheets and pillows. “What?” I tilt my head a little and place my hand atop his head as if talking to a little child.

“Lucky you, sitting on your bum all day? No problems to deal with.” Despite the colorful cocktail of unpleasant feelings overwhelming me, I grin and smother the stuffed bear against me, my body searching for heat.

I lie back down with the bear securely in my arms. My head swims with the sudden movement and I wince, biting my lip. What should I do?

As if I really did consume alcohol, along with the fog rolling in reminding me of the mountains and hills beside the ocean where the Hunters reside, I loll to sleep.

I hear footfalls as I slowly and painstakingly wake. The bear, discarded while I slept, now comfortably situated on the floor. A knock, then two, and finally three strong knocks against my door. I don’t answer and just let the person in.

“Danbi.” I feel sick all of a sudden.

The bed dips and I pull my vision to her seated form. I stare, though my eyelids threatened to close. 

Her hand creeps closer to my face and for a second blood flashes in my vision. “Please don’t touch me.” The biting tone of my words deemed not enough as I place her hand away.

She clicks her tongue, clearly annoyed but her face reflects nothing but serenity. No words were exchanged only my silent plea for her to leave me alone to my musings.

“Should he leave you alone?” I crawl to the foot of the bed, grabbing the stuffed animal and resting it on my lap.

“Have some respect.” She tried to put anger in her words but only sounded so mellow, I almost laughed.

She opens as I play with “bear’s” ears, seeing this she slams shut and leaves. I took a moment to slow my heart and fold the bad thoughts away. I hope I will never unfold these thoughts again.

With mother off my back and the cold weather brushing up my arms, I felt giddy and excited. Very excited, like a teenage girl secretly sipping beer or opening her bedroom window to escape a hovering mother.I buried myself under thick comforter and set bear beside my head. My body and mind were almost physically vibrating with glee.

But with that said, I felt a twinge of guilt. Why am I happy when mother’s practically screaming that she’s disappointed in me?

“Good morning beautiful. Want to show me the dance steps today?” I read the text message that woke me up, imagining Hakyeon’s voice as I read.

Should I? 

This decision should not be hard at all. No, I will not go.

I set down the device and leave my bed unmade. I should feel well rested even with the ordeal last night but my head’s heavy with a throbbing headache.

I shower and dress myself in something I’m more used to. A grey sunday dress, it was the closest thing to silver. I brace myself and arrive at the living room only to find myself alone.

Zoe!  I clasp my mouth. Why does Zoe visit me? I regret our means of communication. I really have so much more to ask her. She sure is elusive.

Zoe.Zoe.Zoe. I pace the length of the room, anxious all of a sudden. Anxious because of my lack of company, mother should be here. Even if I don’t exactly want to see her, I want her here.

A muted tinkling of my phone fazes me and I stop short before the stairs. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts of it. If it is Hakyeon, I should not pay any attention to him anymore.

Right now, what’s best is to just be a good daughter. Yes, that’s it. I ignore the call and plop down the sofa.

***

“Just a second!” I announce to the walls and, as fast as could, walk to the door.As if emerging from the early morning fog and stepping right at my doorstep, Hakyeon walks up to me and smiles.

“Oh, Hakyeon-ssi.” I look down at my feet and take a step back as discreet as possible.

He doesn’t look convinced and steps closer to me, as if smelling my apprehension. Should I act mean?

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?” He begins and seems to be approaching me closer and closer.

I cross my arms across my chest as his gaze start to become more observant. “Hakyeon-ssi, why are you here?”

“Wow, I mean--” He starts and steps even closer. I can’t even believe how many forward steps he answers with my backward ones.

“You look beautiful. Grey is your color.” He shows me a thumbs up of appreciation.

“Hakyeon-ssi, now isn’t a good time.” I’ll be a good daughter. I drop my arms, taking another step back.

I really do mean it. Males are not allowed near me anymore, not after what Zoe said and because I could feel the tension in my body.