Duodēcim
Silver Aura
“Watch where you’re going!!” A man driving his shiny, expensive looking car shakes his fist at me, shouting in his coarse voice and mumbling words as he settles back to his seat.
I spare the man a look and continue to walk, his face softening as he sees my face. “Princess!” Sanghyuk claims my hand and we walk side by side until we fully cross the street. I stare at our connected hands and open my mouth to say something when he abruptly lets go and smiles, his eyes turning into crescent moons. Suddenly I felt empty, my hands feeling cold yet if I decide to hold his hand a pained sensation envelopes my heart.
“You need help crossing the road.” Sanghyuk brightly informs me as we walk home. Without any particular reason, I wanted to walk home. “I do.” I nod my head.
“Yes so, you need to look both ways and make sure no vehicles are coming towards you.” My eyes scan over his mouth, uttering the words completely, accompanied by his eyes again turning into crescents.
“Baby.” I interrupt him, a single word abruptly slipping from my mouth.
“What?” He stops his rambling and his eyes fall on me, looking directly at his mouth. “Just now, you seemed like a baby.” I blinked at his sudden outburst, laughing as though I was the best comedian in the world, his laughs wake me from my trance and I simply started walking home again.
We reached home without other disturbances, just the soles of our shoes scratching against the concrete. I enter my home and he follows, I say “Mother, I’m home.” and he says “Mrs. Park, I’m here.” I narrow my eyes at him asking him what he wants.
“We’re in the kitchen.” She hollers, my mind quick to detect the source of another voice she’s with.
“Hi.” I don’t answer as they welcome me with their seated form and steaming mugs of coffee before them. Sanghyuk bows and I hesitate to do the same.
“Danbi, greet your father properly.” Mother clenches her jaw and reprimands me against her teeth. “Hello father.” I bow, his previously sickly yellow eyes were not so yellow now and his smile is carefree and sincere, I can barely remember the stern look on his face when I was in the police station.
“Excuse me.” I turn around, my footsteps slightly heavy as I approach my room. Sanghyuk follows me, cautious with my change in demeanor.
“What do you want?” I fling my bag on the bed and plop onto the mattress, flicking my eyes angrily at Sanghyuk. “I-I want to borrow notes on…”
“Don’t lie.” I say, giving him a steely gaze. “Okay,” he sighs and sits on the bed next to me, keeping a safe distance. “I know I’m not supposed to intrude but just give him a chance.” I gaze to my closed windows wanting them to be open right now, not giving Sanhyuk my full attention.
“I’ll hurt less if I don’t give him a chance.” I spill the truth.
His memories, all of their memories are all temporary. I will only be the one to remember and I have thought about this for so long and only now do I realize, it’s not the mere humans’ feelings that are being played, it’s only mine and I’ll remember it for the rest of my long life.
My eyes were pooling with tears but I don’t let them fall. I sniff them back up and return to the kitchen, plastering on a smile and joining my ‘parents’. “I should go first.” Sanghyuk admits and puts on a shy smile until I prevent him from leaving.
I prepare two cups of coffee and sit across my father, Sanghyuk sitting across mother. “Do you plan on living here? Or are we going to move in with you?” I ask him with full conviction, Sanghyuk choked on his coffee.
Mother flinches and tries to silence me but fails. “I want to stay right here and you right where you are.” I sip from my coffee and keep my eyes on him. “We can talk about those stuff later, right now I just want to spend time with my family.” He too sips from his mug and returns my look with a serious one.
“She’s usually polite.” My mother informs him nervously. “You raised her fine. I just see a hint of teenage rebellion.” Father assures her and their gazes lock for a minute.
I collect our mugs and guide myself to the living room as Sanghyuk mumbles behind me. From the corner of my eye, I see him bow multiple times to my parents then hurriedly trail behind me. “Do not leave me alone with them.” My voice sounded desperate as I sense his desire to say goodbye again.
They pass our seated forms as the TV roars before us, I intentionally increased the volume to drown out their conversation. Father smiles and waves at me,the same action as when I was walking away from the police station two days ago. Mother returns with heavy footsteps and furrowed eyebrows. She turns off the TV and almost immediately raises her voice at me. “When did you become so disrespectful?” I avoid my eyes from gazing up at her face and just stare at the TV.
“He doesn’t come here after 18 years and act like nothing happened! How can you forgive him like that?” Sanghyuk mumbles his goodbyes and turns to leave when I clutch on his forearm and sit him back down.
“Right now, the best decision is to divorce him.” I whisper the words but the deafening silence amplifies my voice and she hears my poisonous words clearly.
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