CHAPTER ONE

On a Wednesday afternoon, Do Kyungsoo sees him again for the first time in years. 

Strictly speaking, Kyungsoo feels his presence before he even confirms the man’s identity. He finds himself unwittingly turning in the direction of the conversation taking place outside his boss’ (Kim Junmyeon, who goes by the name Suho at work) office, an earshot from his desk, because that voice was just too familiar to ignore. And when he finally lays eyes on the figure leaning idly against the wall as Suho speaks to him, he just cannot look away. 

The reason for this undivided attention has nothing to do with the fact that the man has a good build; tall, lean but muscular. And it certainly has nothing to do with the way his jeans fit beautifully on his long legs and around his perfectly rounded… posterior. (He blushes at the thought, ashamed for even letting it cross his mind.) It’s everything to do with his demeanour, the way he moves, that is so achingly familiar that Kyungsoo is certain he already knows who the man is before he even turns around. (He just hasn’t decided what to do if his guess is actually correct.) 

The man’s manner is causal, bordering on disinterested even as he finally straightens himself up and crosses his arms across his chest. Suho is explaining something to him in great detail with the accompaniment of animated hand gestures but Kyungsoo cannot hear anything either is saying above the low hum of conversation within the studio. The man appears to be listening to whatever it is his boss is saying, but from the way that he fidgets on the spot, it seems that he is itching to be somewhere else. 

Finally, Kyungsoo allows his eyes to trail up to the man’s face and at first glance it is an objective inquiry — he notes his defined jawline, his high cheekbones and the prominent arch of his nose from his side profile… and then everything clicks. Recognition. Identity confirmed. His heart starts to pound. He hadn’t been prepared for this at all. This was not the reunion he had imagined (so many times before). 

At that moment, almost as if on cue, the man turns in his direction. It’s theatrical. Their gazes meet; one straight line of lethal tension from one pair of eyes to another. There is no mistaking it now, no way to deny it, Kyungsoo knows exactly who the man is. 

It’s Jongin. 

He keeps his eyes locked with Kyungsoo’s, the defiant tilt of his chin daring him to break eye contact first. Even as Suho continues speaking, Jongin does not look away, replying him whilst continuing to unabashedly stare at him. Though it would have been undoubtedly unnerving under normal circumstances to have have another person look at him with such intensity, Kyungsoo has no trouble keeping his expression stoic (he has always been good at suppressing his feelings) as he tries to calmly contain the emotions welling up inside of him at the mere thought of Jongin being here. It had been so long… (It had been too long.) 

Eventually, Jongin is the first to look away. With a curt nod of his head, the discussion he was having with Suho appeared to be over. After shaking hands, he hoists his strap of his bag over his shoulder and promptly makes his way to the exit, clearly possessing no intention to acknowledge Kyungsoo’s presence once more. 

He could not place a name on the sensation he felt as he watched Jongin walk away, not turning back to glance at Kyungsoo again. All he knows is that seeing him after all this time had given him an odd, wrenching kind of feeling. There was no pain or unpleasantness involved, just a sensation that all the elements of his body were being physically wrung out. 

Kyungsoo looks back down to the screen of his laptop when he hears footsteps approaching him. 

“Kyungsoo-ah, are you doing anything for dinner tonight?” It’s Suho. He looks back up and is greeted with a warm smile. He cannot help but smile back.  

“I’m sorry Hyung…” He trails off, sincerely apologetic. “But I already have plans.” 

“Ah, it’s alright.” Suho sounds evidently disappointed, but he continues to beam at Kyungsoo nonetheless. “Next time then?”

“Yes, definitely.” He promises with a smile of his own while Suho reaches out to give his shoulders a gentle squeeze. 

Just as Suho turned away to begin walking back to his office, Kyungsoo found himself impulsively calling out to him. “Wait, Hyung…” He wanted to know, he just had to know. “Who was that person you were speaking to just now?” 

Suho raises an eyebrow, surprised at Kyungsoo’s curiosity, but answers the question anyway. “Oh, him? He’s the photographer that’ll be shooting for the big editorial that we’re releasing in the next issue. He’s quite the big shot in the industry now, what with being a “prodigy” and all.” He raises his hands and gestures quotation marks as he says this. “He’s won many awards internationally in spite of his short career so I think it’ll be really exciting to see him in action. His pieces are amazing.” 

“Hmm.” Kyungsoo nods, processing this information and storing in for future reference. “What is his name?” 

“Kai.” 

Kyungsoo exhales slowly. (He didn’t realise he had been holding his breath all this time.) 

* * *

The day had begun uneventfully. It was a regular day of work for Kyungsoo as apprentice to Kris Wu, Deputy Art Director of the fastest rising pop culture and lifestyle magazine in South Korea and beyond — EXO (or as others have dubbed it, the Rolling Stones equivalent of East Asia). Even though he was busying himself with activities had long become routine for him in the past couple of months since he had began working here, there was undeniably a heightened energy within the headquarters of EXO because of a new project that had just been received. 

After a year long hiatus, internationally acclaimed local fashion designer CL was making a comeback with the launch of a new line that was set to be her biggest and best work yet. While the people at EXO have had the privilege of working with their fair share of big names in the industry, everyone had been particularly excited about this collaboration with CL because she was just so… in. From her very first collection, the clothes she designed had been avant-garde but trendy, enabling her to quickly gain recognition in spite of her tender age for her impeccable sense of style. 

However, after establishing her label and opening her flagship store, CL had taken a sabbatical from the world of couture ever since, and everyone had been waiting with bated breath for the queen’s eventual return. Her proposition to launch her new line through a featurette spread in EXO’s next issue in conjunction with her runway show had come as a surprise, but Chief-Editor Suho was quick to jump on the opportunity. While EXO had come a long way since it’s inception and gained quite a fair bit of clout in the media industry by its own right, he knew that working with CL would be the push in the right direction to get the publication even more recognised on the international stage. 

Despite the tight schedule they had to work with—given the spontaneity of CL—the team had managed to organise themselves accordingly and were in the final preparation stages to ensure that the shoot would proceed seamlessly when it eventually commenced. Kyungsoo, like everyone else, had much to do but he wasn’t bothered by it. In fact, he enjoyed his work quite a lot. 

Kyungsoo liked to think of himself as an artist, possessing an eye for things that were beautiful and being able to create beautiful things. After high school, he attended a prestigious arts institute in the heart of Seoul to pursue his interest in media and graphic design. With a lethal combination of passion, hard work and talent, he managed to graduate from university at the top of his class and earned himself the dream job even before convocation. Working in the visual communications department at EXO was the perfect creative outlet for Kyungsoo, even though he hadn’t ever imagined before that he would get this opportunity. 

If anything, he was grateful for the trajectory his life was taking. The four years at university had been relatively painless, he was now working at a job that both challenged and excited him, and he wasn’t doing too badly on the social front—everything was the way it was supposed to be… for the most part (but Kyungsoo wasn’t going to allow himself to dwell on it). 

To make things even better, Byun Baekhyun was working at EXO too as one of the writers. He had gone to the same university as Kyungsoo with a major in journalism. They had met through a mutual friend, Park Chanyeol, and had become best friends since. Though Kyungsoo would never say it out loud, he was always immensely grateful to have Baekhyun with him at the workplace. Baekhyun not only made everything fun, with his outgoing personality for his outrageous sense of humour, but also put him at ease because he was one of the few people that truly understood him. 

Yes, Kyungsoo was more than satisfied with the way life was now. He hadn’t found a reason to question it in the last three years. However, the unexpected encounter he had this morning had succeeded in throwing him completely off balance. Upon watching Jongin’s retreating figure eventually disappear out of the studio, Kyungsoo hadn’t been able to properly concentrate. Seeing him again had reminded him of everything he had keep suppressed for so long and he suddenly felt heavy with emotion, a weight that was now seemed to heavy to bear. (Could it be that he was still yearning for something he was not allowed to want?) 

At 7:30pm that night, Chanyeol drove over to the studio in his shiny navy BMW Coupe to pick Kyungsoo and Baekhyun up for dinner. Kyungsoo had known Chanyeol since high school and they had been close since then. Attending the same university as Kyungsoo, he majored in music and was now working as a music producer. The son of parents who owed successful restaurant chains, his family was wealthy and this allowed Chanyeol to grow up in a carefree environment where money was never a concern and he could afford to do anything he liked whether he worked or not. 

It was routine for them to have dinner together and tonight, Chanyeol decided that he wanted meat and soju. They were seated at a BBQ restaurant, Baekhyun next to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo opposite them, with Baekhyun chatting incessantly while Chanyeol grilled the meat. 

“Today, Suho hyung asked Kyungsoo out again.” Baekhyun announced, taking a swig of his cider. “I feel bad for the guy because this kid here is just too tough of a nut to crack. I should tell him to give up but my god, it is so fun to watch.” 

A