Dara~~ Coz I was good to you

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Has it really been two weeks since I refused to step out of my apartment? Yoon and Minzy have knocked on my door for countless of times. I think Youngbae comes everyday but I let no one in. I turned off my phone after my exchange with YG sajangnim. I sent him a text message informing him that I resign the following day after Ji’s things were taken. He called immediately soon after but I didn’t pick it up. I didn’t have the confidence to talk to our company president. I know that he knew about their affair. I doubt anything escapes him. It must be the reason why he assigned me to other artists. I’m still figuring out if I’m going to be angry at him for that. 

Four days after Ji walked out, it seems like all of the people inside YG who knew of our relationship has either called or sent me messages. I ignored all of them. 

I eventually ran out of food. Even the ones I never thought I’d eat, I’ve consumed. I have always been a stress eater. It made me laugh briefly after thinking that I didn’t want to be found dead inside my apartment of hunger instead of heartache so I went out in my pyjamas, wearing my dark sunglasses. People were giving me weird looks but I ignored them.

I filled my cart once again for a month’s supply this time around.

I was taken by surprise when I got out of my car when a pair of hands snatched the shopping bags that I was getting out of the trunk. It was Youngbae.

“What are you doing?!” I attempted to take the bags back.

“You finally went out of your hole” he commented and proceeded to take more bags from my car.

I had no choice but to let him. I didn’t want to make numerous trips anyway. I followed him as he walked ahead of me in the direction of my apartment.

I stopped him when we reached my door. “You can just leave those here. I’ll bring them in.”

“C’mon Dara. You hurt my feelings. Is this how you thank a friend?” he teased.

“Are you?” I faced him. “You’re more of his friend than mine.”

He lost his eye smile and became serious. “You know I’m your friend, too.” He looked and sounded hurt.

This is the reason why I refused to see and talk to everyone. Being locked up in days with nothing to do but cry makes you think and rationalize everything. All of the friends I made over the years Jiyong and I became a couple are his friends, too. Where will their loyalties lie? I am no one while he is a superstar. Knowing that made me feel more insecure.

Yongbae is Jiyong’s oldest friend. They grew up together.  They are brothers from different mothers. I met them both freshman in high school when me and my parents moved to Seoul from Busan. The three of us all became close and Bae even confessed to me when we were in our sophomore year but I rejected his feelings. I was crazy for our sunbae Jaejong back then.

Not long after in Junior year, Jiyong started pursuing me. I know it hurt Youngbae and I don’t know how they talked it out between them but Youngbae gave way. Eventually, Ji made me fall in love with him and Bae became a witness of the growth of our relationship.

When Ji was scouted and accepted as a trainee for YG the summer before our Senior year, Youngbae followed soon after him and trained as a dancer. Where Jiyong goes, he goes. I know he’s also my friend but he loves Jiyong more. He will always choose Jiyong over anybody. 

“I’m sorry” I told him. “I didn’t mean to misplace my anger on you. I’m just not ready for any company yet. I still need time for myself.”

“I’m sorry, too. I’m just – we’re all worried about you. I just wanted to see if you’re …” He let out a frustrated sigh and kept running his fingers on his Mohawk cut hair. “Clearl