Luhan was early when I told him to wait by my car.

He was sitting on the hood, eating yogurt.

Luckily he was wearing thick clothes. I worried that he wouldnt.

"You're always a little early."

"I know. I'm an obedient man."

"What man?"

He huffed at my teasing and got in as soon as I unlocked the door.

"So where are we going?"

"Somewhere far. You can sleep if you want to."

---

But he talked until halfway to the destination.

He talked about his pet dog, Joey, his childhood embarassing moments, his family and their habits and other weird and random thing there is to talk about.

Thankfully, he fell asleep just half and hour before we arrived.

"..Luhan-ah. Luhan-ah, wake up~ We've arrived"

"...already...?" he squinted his eyes and twitched his nose.

"But we still have to walk a bit further"

"...do I smell...the sea?"

"Yes."

And so we walked as he talked some more.

He tried so hard to push me in the water but he'll end up the one touching the water.

---

"Say hello to my hyung, Luhan. His name's Oh Junmyeon."

"...Sehun-ah."

"He's handsome, isnt he?"

"...Oh. Very. More than you can ever b-be..."

I heard his voice trembling so I turned around.

He was crying. He was already kneeling on the partially wet grass.

He looked up at me.

"I'm sorry I never knew."

"How could you? I never told you. I never told anyone except for Tao. He's been friends with me since we were kids. So dont worry and dont feel bad, okay...?"

"But you looked so strong and calm...how could I guess-"

"Thats why you cant...c'mon dont cry...it makes me feel bad..."

"Aniya...okay okay I'll stop."

He got up on his feet and faced me. 

He smiled a small, loving smile and carressed my cheeks.

He walked over to hyung's resting place.

"Annyeong haseyo. I'm Luhan. Xiao Lu han. I'm a friend of Sehun. How've you been, hyung? I hope I can call you that. Because I know you must've been such a great hyung to Sehun. I know he's hard to understand, huh?"

"Hey watch it. I am very understandable AND loving, okay? Right, hyung?"

"Yeah. He was awesome to me. He died trying to protect me. He already had a time limit in living. Brain tumour. But I made it even shorter when I was a kid."

Luhan looked at me. He was dying to know, so I told him.

"Back then, I was a timid boy. Too timid, even. So naturally I was the target of bullies. They came to me daily as they know my dad was wealthy. But I never fight back or ask for help. I refused to give them money so I got beat up. Dad was too busy so hyung was the only one attentive to me. But one fated day, when he got some strength to go and have some brotherly time with me at the park, the bullies came and tried to force me again. Unsurprisingly he protected me. But he was badly hurt and he died even before we reached the hospital."

"You wanna sit down...?"

"Yeah."

I sat just beside hyung's tombstone and it was in between his and mum's tombstone.

I gestured to Luhan and he had this sad look in his eyes.

But he was surely polite.

"And you must be Mrs. Oh? I've been wanting to meet you. You raised such a perfect son. I never could've asked for more to be by my side at both important and unimportant times. I hope you're doing well and happy over there..."

He looked at me.

He smiled the kind of smile only a mother could give.

Then he pat my back. Then moved to carress my cheeks again.

A tear escaped his beautiful doe eyes.

"My sister is abroad. She couldnt handle all the pressure back then with mum's death then hyung's not a year after so she decided to move abroad and studied there. It's been 3 years and she never came back. Not a single phone call or a letter or an email. I gave up when I knew she wouldnt come back."

I looked down, my tears starting to fall. I let it.

Luhan's hand was still on my cheek so I leaned on it, hoping for warmth and maybe some love.

He used his free hand to pull me closer so he could hug me but I didnt give the chance. I hugged him before he could. He wasnt even a bit surprised. He let me hold on to him as I sob.

It's been years since I cried this hard and long.

It's always been my sister who would comfort me when I cry. But she's not here. Nor was she since 3 years ago. I missed her and I still do. I want her back. More than anything.

"Sehun-ah..."

"...oh, I'm sorry..."

"It's okay...just cry. I'm here. You must've been really lonely, werent you? Being a kid, growing up all on your own with just your dad...you were such a brave kid, Sehun-ah...you even grew up well."

"I was... I did?"

"I know enough of it because you were good to me ever since we met. You were the best person I've ever met and I never regretted meeting you. And I'm honoured to be here, having you cry in my arms, the poker-faced cold-looking guy. I'm glad you opened up and became the boy you are now...but I hope you'll let me help you in the future too, okay?"

"...h-help?"

"Like you helped me cure my nightmares, sadness and fear. You were there the whole time. So let me be there for you too."

I pulled back, looking into his eyes. 

He smiled and wiped away my tears. He kissed my cheek and hugged me again.

What is this...?

"...Luhan-ah..."

"Yes?"

"Lie down with me?"

"...here?"

"No. The beach..."

"Okay."

---

"Can I borrow your phone?" Luhan asked me before I went to the toilet.

"Sure." I handed it to him.

"Thanks."

---

We had lunch and was about to go back.

But Luhan suddenly offered to drive us back.

"Are you sure? You wont get tired and get us into an accident, will you?"

"No, I wont! That's mean. I already slept this morning, and if anybody's getting us into an accident, it's you if I dont offer to drive back. Your eyes are swollen and you're gonna get sleepy eventually after all that crying"

"Arasso. Just drive quietly."

I twisted and turned in my seat but I couldnt sleep.

Lastly I sat up and talked with Luhan.

But a few hours before we arrived, I fell asleep.

---

"Sehun-ah...we're home. I mean we've arrived...at the hostel...Sehun-ah?"

"...ohhh..." I responded with heavy eyelids trying to open.

"Lets get you back to your room."

He walked me all the way to my room.

When we got in, as usual, it was empty.

Somehow, I was used to this, but I was kinda sick of it...

...as of today.

"Lie with me" I said just above a whisper.

"..what was that?"

"Sleep here. Stay the night. I feel so lonely."

"....."

"...please...?"

"C'mon, lets change first."

So I let him change most of my clothing as he changed his afterwards.

He took the biggest shirt I have and used it as a maxi pyjama.

He led me to the bed and we both lied down.

"Tomorrow, let's go for a morning walk to clear your head." Luhan said as he put his arms around my waist under the blanket.

"Okay." I obliged.

"Sehun-ah..."

"...hm...?" I turned to face him.

That's when he kissed me.

"Lu-L-Luhan...?"

But he was already asleep.

My heart stopped for a second there but it continued where it left off.

My eyelids never once obeying me, closed.

I fell asleep.