Chapter 45

Of course Kyungsoo didn't call in sick just to spy on Joonmyun and Kris, having fun. That would be totally weird, not to mention absurd and… To tell the truth, now that Kyungsoo had found someone who didn't bother him with repetitious questions of 'are you okay?', he was afraid to lose him to someone else. It was nice having someone who didn't know about everything that had happened and could make him forget, even for a second. Kris was fun and silly and so awkward it made Kyungsoo cringe in embarrassment but it was probably one of the best things about him. He was so innocent with his thoughts of love, that Kyungsoo wanted to snap the man's neck at times but it was actually... Kind of cute.

Kyungsoo entered the café, his mind on a different plane as he strolled past a nervous-looking Jongin and right into the kitchen, ignoring a cooking Minseok. It wasn't until he felt a hand on his shoulder, Kyungsoo went back to reality.

"Call Baekhyun."

There was a deep frown etched onto Minseok's face as he retrieved his hand to return to a simmering casserole.

"I can't."
"Look. I don't know what happened between the two of you. All I know is that he is going out of his mind with worry. I know you've been skipping school, work, any form of confrontation. I know that Baekhyun hasn't been sleeping, that Chanyeol has stayed at his place the last couple of days to try and make him eat. I know he has been neglecting his studies and why? Because he's been coming here every day this week asking for you. He's your best friend and after everything he has done for you,  suddenly you just pack up your things and disappear from his life? You need to get your together Kyungsoo. You need your friends.  So just cut the crap and call him."
Minseok never even looked at him once during his little speech. It was as if Kyungsoo wasn't worthy of the slightest of glance. Kyungsoo didn't blame him though.

"You don't understand. What happened was..."
"Yes, well frankly I don't care. Just talk to him."
"I wouldn't know what to say."
"Well I know exactly what to say to you then. Get the hell out of my kitchen."
Minseok shot him an angry look.

"Now."
With his head bowed down he exited the kitchen and to his luck he bumped his forehead against Jongin's chest.

"Hyung..."
Kyungsoo looked up. Jongin's face was covered with worry. He was biting his lip and fidgeting with his fingers as they stood there, looking at each other.

"... I'm sorry for what I said. Actually I'm not. But I'm just glad you're back at work."
With that he stepped around Kyungsoo and entered the kitchen.

Work went slow. There weren't enough customers for Sehun, Jongin and himself to be kept busy which left a lot of small breaks and a lot of mindless cleaning. Jongin seemed to be ignoring him. Sehun and he didn't really talk much and it was obvious that Minseok wasn't his biggest fan at the moment. Kyungsoo stood at the counter, mindlessly wiping it off. What was Kris doing now? Probably getting ready for tonight. With Joonmyun. The name sort of rang a bell but he just couldn't pinpoint a face. What would they even be doing? Sure get a beer but what followed a beer? Girls? Hook ups? No that wasn't Kris's style, Kyungsoo knew that much. Still, maybe he should leave early, go see how their evening would play out...

"Can you make two iced Americanos for table 6?"
Kyungsoo snapped back to reality at Jongin's voice.

"Hyung?"

"Huh? Yeah. Sure."

Silence.

"What did you say again?"

Jongin put down a note with an order in front of him.

"Two Iced Americanos for table 6."
"Of course. Coming right up."

"Where were you just now?"

"I... Jongin. I'm sorry for acting the way I did. Showing up at your doorstep in the middle of the night when you're sick and then expecting you to, I don't know, cheer me up which you tried except I didn't take it so well. I was being incredibly inappropriate and I feel stupid for everything, it's just... My way of coping with things might not be the best but right now it helps. It actually helps, believe me or not. I know what you said is true but... I need to figure this out by myself."

"Kyungsoo, your way is stupid. But it is none of my business. We're colleagues not friends. I'm sorry for meddling."

"We aren't friends?"

There was a rather awkward air between them as they both stood tripping back and forth, not really sure what to say. Kyungsoo felt bad. He didn't know much about Jongin, if anything. He was just always there. He had kind of missed him and his clingy ways. It was sweet.

"Look. If you want to I'd really like it if we could be friends. You're a sweet guy Jongin. I want to get to know you better."
"... Really?"

"Yes really!"
They both broke into a happy grin, smiling stupidly at each other.

"What do you say, after work, you, me, Sehun go out, knock back a few and get to know each other?"
The smile on Jongin's lips slowly faded. He looked to the ground, biting his lip again.

"... No chicks," Kyungsoo added as the smile resurfaced on Jongin's face.

"No running off in the middle of the night with a girl?"
"Nope. It'll just be a guys night. I promise."
" Okay. But if you break your promise, I'm pouring ice down your pants tonight to help you cool off."
Jongin left with a skip in his step after that to waiter new customers. Kyungsoo started to prepare the coffee order when a new voice broke his concentration.

"Kyungsoo."

Baekhyun looked like a mess. Even if it had only been a week, he looked wicked skinny, eye-bags taking up half of his sunk in face. His hair was disheveled and his sweats dirty. It looked as if he hadn't showered for a while. It made Kyungsoo's heart sink to his stomach. He made to leave the counter, to enter the kitchen. Right now he would rather take Minseok's wrath than talking to the shell of what used to be his friend.

"I miss you."

For some reason, those three words made Kyungsoo stop dead in his tracks. He missed Baekhyun, of course he did, he was just so ashamed about what he had done and seeing him again brought back the memory of Baekhyun's warm touch on his skin.

"Can we talk? Please. I'll leave you alone if that is what you want but not before we talk."

"... I'm working."

"Isn't it time for you break now, hyung?" Jongin approached them cautiously while eyeing them both. He stepped behind the counter and took Kyungsoo's wrist as well as Baekhyun's and pushed them through the kitchen door.

"Take as much time as you need. Sehun and I can take care of things here."

Awkwardly they stood staring at the ground when Minseok looked up from his pots and pans.

"I thought I told you to..." Minseok noticed Baekhyun squirming next to Kyungsoo. He quickly returned to his cooking with a nonchalant 'Proceed.' 

Together they went out the back door and into a dimly lit alley.
"I understand... If things can't go back to the way they were before. I really do."

Baekhyun looked so fragile in the faint light, eyes downcast, shoulders slumped over.

"I told you that I wouldn't leave and I won't. Not unless that's what you truly want from me. I shouldn't have done what I did. But it happened and no matter how much I wish I could, I can't take it back. I thought I could help you and in the end I just made everything worse. I should've let you deal with it in your own way. But seeing you like that, pretending you were fine. It hurt. It hurt because you don't deserve being unhappy. You deserve love and only good things in your life Kyungsoo. And I am so sorry for causing you any pain or confusion or anything else  you blame me for. Just know that... I love you. And if you ever need me. I'll still be here for you, waiting for you to forgive me. For you to call me friend again."

Baekhyun sighed deeply, allowing his tears to flow freely.

"That's it. Thank you for listening, Kyungsoo."

He slowly turned around, walking away. He hoped Kyungsoo would stop him from leaving, hug him and assure him they would be fine.

He didn't.    

Kyungsoo had been seconds away from reaching out for his friend, except he couldn't. Baekhyun shouldn't be the one apologizing. If anyone should be begging for forgiveness, it was himself. His chest hurt and his breath became more and more shallow. His pulse went up as his skin started to feel sticky. Kyungsoo loosened his top  buttons, feeling they were constricting his airway. 'Not now.' He couldn't deal with a panic attack right now, he couldn't. He ...

Kyungsoo supported his weight against the wall, trying to calm down. His head was starting to spin, eyes watering, legs shaking. 'No, no, no.' His mind wandered back to the image of his father, to Krystal ending everything, to his mother's disappointed face. He felt Baekhyun's touch. He heard Jongin's words. Minseok's words. Kyungsoo slid down the wall and onto the ground about to surrender to all the pain, all the hurt when suddenly his mind landed on Kris. Kris with his awkward ways, clumsy words and gummy smiles. Not to mention his serial killer proposal. Kyungsoo let out a small laugh at the thought, not noticing how his body became calmer and his breath more steady. Before long, it was as if his panic attack had never occurred.

Kyungsoo avoided Minseok's questioning gaze as he reemerged in the kitchen, he shot him a small smile before entering the cafe.

"Sorry for meddling again."
Jongin was at his side, holding a tray with two wine glasses and a bottle of rosé wine.

"No. Thank you Jongin."
He gave him a small smile before eying the tray.

"... That's not for me and Baekhyun is it?"
"This? No, this is for table 2."
He handed Kyungsoo the tray while smirking.

"My turn for a break. Have fun hyung."

"Yah!"

He couldn't help the laughter bubbling forth from his throat as he watched the tan boy make his way for the kitchen. Jongin really was a good guy.

'Good guy.'

Kris somehow managed to pop up into his mind again. Kyungsoo looked at his watch. 10:30 PM. Only 2-3 hours to go until he could go looking for his probably drunk roommate, hanging out with another guy.

'Joonmyun.'  

Why did it bother him that Kris was just hanging out with a friend? He recalled their little show at The 1st Coffee Prince. What if Kris was going to ask Joonmyun for help with his silly list? What if they would be doing the same things Kris and he had been doing? Why did that make him feel... jealous?

Kyungsoo shook his head at the preposterous thought as he approached table number 2, trying his best to push away the disturbing image of Kris and a faceless guy ice cream off of each others' faces.


A/N
This is pretty rushed so it might be a bit confusing -.-'