KYUNGSOO P.O.V

I sat in the gut clenching room in the hospital, the smell of urine and bleach filling my nose with an uncomfortable sting. I glanced around the room and saw all the flowers that all the guys had delivered and set about the room for Rachel. The flowers gave the dull white and grey room some color. My eyes traveled to the IV that was slowly dripping into a tube that was connected to needle in her arm. She was still asleep, the same as the past four days. She had woken only once, and it was only when they were changing her bandages and she was in too much pain. None of us were allowed in the room, but her cries were heard clearly from the hallway. When we were allowed back in the room we were sad to see her sleeping again. The nurses were walking out with bloody rags and I knew that she was in more pain than I originally thought.

Now I sat in a chair next to her bed, holding onto her hand and trying my best to keep my eyes open. Luhan and Chanyeol sat in the corner of the room, their headphones in and their drowsiness taking control of them. I closed my eyes and listened to the steady beat of her heart, the only indicator that her lifeless looking body, was still in fact alive. I fell asleep and stayed that way for the next three hours. The dark circles under my eyes finally starting to disappear. I awoke when somebody tapped my back. I jolted up and looked over to see Suho giving me a sympathetic look.

"Go get some coffee, I'll watch her for a bit." He smiled at me and rubbed my back.

I nodded and stood, my aching body stinging with each movement. I looked over and saw that Kai had replaced Luhan and Chanyeol was being replaced by Xiumin. Chanyeol looked over at me and smiled softly, beckoning me over to join him. I nodded and slowly followed him to the coffee machine. The other members were sleeping or talking on their phones in the waiting area. I could tell that Chen was in a conversation with Jungkook from BTS. There was a lot of words of anger being exchanged, Chen telling the kid to calm down. BTS, VIXX, and GOT7 were incredibly upset that they were too busy to come visit their dear friend in the hospital. Henry from Super Junior-M already came in and visited her with some flowers and a small bear that was always cuddled at her side. Chanyeol and I ordered a medium frappuccino from the Starbucks from the lobby. We stood there, moving around our aching bodies and taking sips at our caffeinated drink. Chanyeol gave me a look from where he stood.

"It's hard... Isn't it?" He asked, his eyes peering over the glass he held to his lips.

I looked at him in slight shock, "It's hard on all of us..."

"More on you then any, well maybe Sehun too..." He shrugged.

"I'm no exception Chanyeol." I grumbled a little.

"There's no need to get all defensive, I'm just saying! You're the one with feelings for her." He shrugged again and started his slow walk to the glass elevators.

"Hey! What are you talking about?" I jogged and caught up with him.

How would he know that I have feelings for her?

We stood outside the elevator and Chanyeol sighed, turning to me.

"Okay, I'm just saying, why should you keep your emotions bottled in like that? I mean it's obvious you've liked her for a long time and there was a point where I was pretty sure she felt the same, but only Xiumin and Suho know what's really going on, even Sehun can't get on that level of trust she has for those two." Chanyeol shook his head at me, "Just try and talk to her again. I can tell there is still something there when she looks at you." He patted my shoulder and walked into the awaiting elevator, holding it open for me.

The giants actually wise when he wants to be...

I stepped in with him and we rode up to the third floor where she was held. We rode in silence and sighed when we stepped off, back into the blandness of the hospital floor. Luhan was laying on Sehun's lap in the waiting area and Sehun waved to us as we walked in. I walked over to him.

"Hm?" I nodded, wondering what he needed.

"If she wakes will you tell me hyung?" His voice was groggy and scratched from sleep deprivation.

I felt my jaw clench but I nodded, giving him a small smile. Chanyeol decided to stay out in the waiting area, not being able to stand the constant beeping and stuffy emotions in the room. I journeyed back to the room and set my coffee down at the bedside table, standing while Suho sat there, rubbing his thumb against her hand to calm himself more than anything else. I saw his motherly worried eyes stare at her face in complete and utter concern.

I stood there and looked to her face, seeing how relaxed and calm she looked. Her hospital gown was loose on her and covered the majority of the wrapped wound. I gulped as I looked to her dry lips, wondering when I would see them moving again and speaking out untold meanings. I sighed and patted Suho.

"She'll be okay, they said that since she lost a lot of blood her body just wants her to sleep and regain it slowly." I comforted him.

"I know... But I keep thinking about something..." Suho didn't tear his gaze from her face.

"Hm?" I asked, seeing that Xiumin and Kai were also attentive to their leader.

"You see how distraught we are without her... What if someday she leaves us? We would become so lost without her... We depend on her and just her smile, even just her presence, keeps us going and alive. Now that she isn't here to keep us uplifted... We just don't know what life is like." He sighed and spoke solemnly, "She's our everything. I'm just scared that one day she won't be there."

Kai and Xiumin looked between each other with knowing looks. Being honest, we have all been thinking the same things and we didn't want to admit it or even say it out loud like Suho had. We were stuck in ourselves, not seeking the comfort we needed from our drained and solemn thoughts.

"We would be nothing without her..." Kai mumbled.

"As would I." She coughed out and we all jumped, running to be as close as we could.

"Rachel!" I called out, hoping she would open her beautiful eyes my way.

"Hm?" She moaned out.

I smiled softly, her voice was so comforting that I missed it too much, "How are you feeling? Can you open your eyes?" I asked.

"I'm fine, just really sore... and I can open my eyes..." She yawned softly.

Her voice seemed strained and I knew it was from lack of use.

 I turned to Kai, intending on keeping my promise to Sehun, "Go get Sehun."

Kai nodded and rushed out of the room.

"Where's Sehun?" She called out in almost desperation.

My heart broke slightly, "He's coming."

"You didn't get hurt D.O... did you?" She asked.

"No, I'm fine." I smiled softly even though she couldn't see it because her eyes were still closed delicately.

Sehun came running in, out of breath and a completely worried look on his face. Xiumin and Suho looked at me like they knew something, but they backed off, letting Sehun get a clear look at her. Sehun's eyes brimmed with tears and he cautiously walked forward.

"R-Rachel?" He asked softly.

"Sehun? Is that you?" She blindly reached out toward his voice.

My heart ached and I backed away so Sehun could get in closer. Deep down I wished she would call for me and reach for me so frantically like she did for him.

Chanyeol's wrong, she doesn't have anything for me.

I turned my head away, leaving the room and giving the two space, Xiumin and Suho following me quietly.

"Kyungsoo..." Suho called to me softly.

"I don't want to talk about it. Sehun's with her now, as long as she's happy it's fine." I commented over my shoulder before briskly walking into the men's bathroom.

That's right, she had Sehun, I wasn't needed in her life. She had a man who loved her and she also liked him just as much. My feelings were nothing to her and I was just a friend, it was going to stay that way, so I might as well get used to it. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and sighed, praying that I could get through this easier than it seemed.