07 Kiss
Bitter Love, Complicated Life
[Gikwang's POV]
Looking at her in the eyes making me don't want to let her go. I want to hug her. I want to tell her how much I love her.
I've tried my best to bury my feeling from showing up the most, so I could prevent my friendship with Yoseob from falling apart. He is one of my best friends and I care for him for sure.
But I can't believe that he kissed Sora when she's drunk. But now the scared feeling is haunting me: does Sora love him back?
If Sora loves Yoseob, then I don't even have any right to blame Yoseob for kissing her.
She pushes me away slightly, trying to pull back from my touch, "I-I'm sorry."
Is that her answer?
[Sora's POV]
When Gikwang's face is really close to mine, I push him away with my hands, looking away from him, "I-I'm sorry."
I don't know what to do. I know he's not going to kiss me; he promised me. But what is this feeling?
"I'm going to return to my room," I shift backward and stand up slowly, trying to gather my focus and walk to the door.
My head aches again, making me to stop my step. I close my eyes and rub my temple, trying to shove away this pain.
Suddenly I can feel an arm links around my shoulders. Gikwang hugs me from behind with his left muscular arm.
I can feel my cheeks are blushing for sure. My heart is beating uncontrollably because of his warm hug.
"I will never kiss you," he whispers to my ear. "Because you're not mine. Yet."
I shiver because of his warm breath on my cold skin. I close my eyes, trying to keep focusing on my stand because I'm sure I can faint now because of my headache and my uncontrollable heart.
I flinch a little when I feel his lips on my neck. He kisses my neck softly and gently. The last time he kissed my neck was the night before I was kidnapped by Changmin. It's more than three months ago.
"Am I allowed to do that?" Gikwang hugs me tighter. "While you let Yoseob kissed you?"
Before I could even respond to his question, I can feel someone is moving behind us.
I turn around with the least of my power to find Yoseob is already awake, looking at me and Gikwang.
[Yoseob's POV]
What is that sound?
I rub my eyes slowly. I'm sure it's not even morning yet. I look around to find the source of the noice that made me awake. I'm sure there are at least two people who are talking to each other.
I see two figures are standing in front of the door. One of them is hugging the other from behind.
My eyes are widened once I realize that Sora is not sleeping on my bed anymore. I don't find Gikwang anywhere as well.
I get out from my bed and step closer to them; yes, Gikwang is hugging Sora.
I think Sora notices that I'm already awake because she suddenly turns around and looks at me.
"Yo-Yoseob Oppa...," she mutters my name.
Gikwang releases her from his hug and steps backward. He looks at me with cold eyes.
I glare back at him. He blamed me for taking an advantage of Sora by kissing her but he hugged Sora when she's half awake! How fair he is.
"What were you two doing?" I clear my throat nervously.
No one answers.
This is really awkward.
[Sora's POV]
"What were you two doing?" Yoseob asks with serious tone. He gives Gikwang a deadly glare.
I don't answer his question and Gikwang does the same.
The room is filled with silence for seconds before I finally decide to say something. We can't stay like this forever, can we?
"I'm sorry," I bow to Yoseob, "for whatever I've done when I was drunk."
I straighten my body and look that Yoseob is blushing after he heard my words. I can feel that my face is burning too because I'm sure now that I did kiss him before I passed out in the elevator.
Another silence again.
"Sora," both Gikwang and Yoseob speak out my name.
They look at each other without a word and then look at me.
"You owe me an answer," Yoseob says his thought.
Ugh, my headache is going to kill me soon. I can't take it anymore, with my headache and tense between them like now.
"I need to tell you something," I sigh. I must say it now or this tense will keep going on. "I will go back to Paris in three weeks."
They look at me as if I just say something crazy. Yoseob grabs my shoulder with widened eyes, "What did you just say?"
"I'm going back to Paris," I try to release myself from his hands. "The project is done but that doesn't mean my mother's work is done there. I need to continue the other projects."
Noticing that I don't want him to hold on my shoulders, Yoseob lets go of me with shocked expression.
"So please," I beg them, "let's just be professionals. Let's just work as partners."
[Yoseob's POV]
What? She's going back to Paris in three weeks? Is that why she has been avoiding us to talk about being our permanent personal photographer again?
"So please," she says, "let's just be professionals. Let's just work as partners."
How could she say that? She knows for sure that both me and Gikwang is in love with her!
"I don't think I can let you go," I murmur. "Not again. Not without your answer."
"Don't you understand?" she hisses. "After three weeks, it's just another goodbye. Why do you even want an answer that you're already know?"
"Sora," Gikwang holds her hand. Looks like he notices that she's still feeling dizzy because of the alcohol. "Just take a rest first. Your face is really pale."
"Oi," I look at Gikwang. "I'm talking here."
He doesn't reply my words but he looks at me with cold stare. I swallow; he's really angry with me.
[Sora's POV]
This atmosphere is not good. Really not good.
Gikwang is giving Yoseob a cold stare while Yoseob returns him with deadly glare. What should I do?
I was hoping they will give up after I said that I will go back to Paris soon. I can't promise them to stay at Seoul or not. I don't want to break their hearts; I know how it feels to have your heart breaks.
"I can't stay with you," I say slowly to them. "Both of you will be alright with me."
I take my hand away from Gikwang's and bow to them. I leave their room right when Dongwoon stirs in his sleep.
I was going to close my own door, hoping that this headache will at least lessen when I wake up again, when someone holds the door from closing.
It's Yoseob.
Without any warning, he pulls me into his hug.
"Listen," he mutters. "I know I once said that you were only my little sister. I once said that you would be better with Gikwang."
"If I could take it all back, I would now," his words make me feel as if my heart is going to jump from its place. "I never meant to let you all down and now I've got to try to turn it all around."
He looks at my eyes. One of his hand moves my hair behind my ear, his usual and favorite gesture, "I know there's a way. I'll find a way."
He kisses the tip of my hair, making me blush again. Will he ever stop making my heart races like this?
"I'm only going to break your heart," I mumble sadly. "Please, stop loving me."
"I'll take a stand," he caresses my cheek. "Even though it's complicated. I just need you to let me love you."
He kisses my forehead deeply, not breaking the kiss for seconds. He takes a deep breath when he is kissing my forehead.
I don't know why, maybe it's another late side effect of the alcohol, I clutch his shirt, not letting him to leave from my sight.
"I think it's too late for me to answer your question," I murmur.
"I think it's too late for me to answer your question," I murmur.
He makes a surprised expression but then smiles to me simply.
He lifts up my chin with his finger, "Maybe it's not too late."
He steps closer to me and, I feel as if I have lost control over myself even though I already know what he will do next.
I can feel his right hand on my waist while he still touches my chin with his left hand.
I close my eyes, letting Yoseob kisses my lips gently.
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Author's Note:
"Here I am
Feels like the walls are closing in
Once again
It's time to face it and be strong
I wanna do the right thing now
I know it's up to me somehow
I've lost my way
So I'll take a stand
Even though it's complicated
If I can, I wanna change the way I've made it
I've gotta do the right thing now
I know it's up to me somehow
I'll find my way
I'm gonna find the strength to be
The one that holds it all together
Show you that I'm sorry
But I know that we can make it better
If I could take it all back, I would now
I never meant to let you all down
And now I've got to try
To turn it all around
And figure out how to fix this
I know there's a way, so I promise
I'm gonna clean up the mess I made
Maybe it's not too late"
- originally from "It's Not Too Late" by Demi Lovato
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